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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 4,231 views
 

Battlestar Galactica-"The Son Also Rises"

I'm posting this here even though I'll be posting in the thread too becuase I'm sure no one wants to read/hear what I'm sure sounds like a broken record by now: Why why why is Cally still on this show?! She really pissed me off with her "We don't get second chances-::looks at Sharon::-or third chances" comment. Congratulations, that was really subtle. What are you, six?   I loved the bonus scene where Sharon creeps up on her. Awesome.   Also-Someone saved the cats (or at least a cat) after the attacks! Yay!   That's pretty much all for now. I'll post the rest of my thoughts in the BSG thread tomorrow when I'm less sleepy.

circe_blue

circe_blue

 

yay, Threadless :)

[This is mainly for me to keep track of the shirts I own.]   If you're interested, Threadless is a clothing site that prints its own t-shirts and also some long-sleeve shirts and hoodies. People submit designs/slogans and users at the site vote on them... and the best ones get printed. Pretty cool, huh? This is my street team link [here].   I absolutely adore my Threadless shirts! They're so unique and they make great gifts!!     I Own... 99 Luftballoons Alphabet Zoo Fake Pandas Have More Fun Fish Tank I Like Trees Too Not Your Average Polo Pure Imagination Radios   Purchased For Others A Voyage of Discovery (husband) FrequenCity (fiancee) Haikus are easy but... (sister) Living in Harmony (husband)   Would Like to Get current ones listed in wishlist

jazlyn

jazlyn

 

Layers Of You

LAYER ONE: -- Name: Heather -- Birth date: Nov 23 -- Height: 5'2" -- Righty or Lefty: Right -- Zodiac Sign: Sag cusp (with Scorpio)   LAYER TWO: -- Your heritage: Northwest European Mutt... most of my family's been here for 100+ years -- The shoes you wore today: None. Home sick -- Your weakness: Chocolate. Dark Chocolate with cinnamon. -- Your fears: Spiders, Flushing the toilet after dark... living by myself -- Your perfect pizza: Um... dunno. Love Supreme/Works type pizzas on thick crusts -- Goal you'd like to achieve: Raising sane children who raise sane children   LAYER THREE: -- Your thoughts first waking up: Go 'way! (usually the cat wants to be fed or the dog wants out or both) -- Your best physical feature: My eyes. Gorgeous eyes that usually hide behind thick glasses -- Your most missed memory: The last summer I had with my father/the last time I saw him alive (it was the following Oct)   LAYER FOUR: --- What instruments can you play? None, but I sing --- Are you ticklish? Massively. The right look can tickle me. <~~What she said --- Are you shy? Not really --- Are you a morning person? No. Not remotely. Not even close. Even when I'm up before nine, I'm never fully awake until after 9 am.   LAYER FIVE: -- Smoke: No -- Cuss: More than I should -- Sing: Yup -- Do you think you've been in love: I know I am. -- Like(d) high school: See... High school was... there was so much outside of high-school that had nothing to do with high-school... that... eugh. -- Want to get married: Been married nearly 9 years -- Believe in yourself: If I didn't, would I cease to exist? -- Get along with your parent(s): Complicated question... Dad's dead, Mom's a bigger drama queen than I am (quite the feat, thank you) and my adoptive parents are wonderful but have their quirks... and there's his parents, too... mostly, yes. -- Like thunderstorms: LOVE THEM. Alas, they seem to come with tornado watches here.   LAYER SIX: -- What do you want to be when you grow up? I have to grow up? NO!!! OK, fine... Um... A Mommy. -- What country would you most like to visit? I want to visit EVERYWHERE, but I think I'd cry if I never got to go to Europe, ESP France and Great Britain & Ireland   LAYER SEVEN: -- Number of CDs that I own: More than I wanna count just now -- Number of piercings: 1 in each ear that still works -- Number of tattoos: 0 -- Number of scars on my body: Um... Dunno... appendectomy, some cat scratches, old burns... at least 9-10.   LAYER EIGHT -- What crafts do you do? crochet, counted cross stitch, some beading -- Number of languages you speak: English, French, Spanish, enough German to make an idiot of myself... studied some biblical Greek, Japanese, Italian, Russian, and Portugese -- Number of books you read in a year: I've slowed down of late. I don't know.   LAYER NINE: --What's your favorite season? Autumn or winter. I love the colors of autumn, I love the snow of winter. Alas, I live in OK... we rarely get much of either (though this year I've gotten a bit of both!! YAY!!) --Who's your favorite figure in History? Dunno. Jeanne D'Arc maybe? --Hair Colour? Naturally, light honeyed brown. But I dye it auburn and nobody ever realizes that it's not my natural color because I keep it so close.

hjourdenjackson

hjourdenjackson

 

About You

what's your name? - Heather how old are you? - 29 do you have any kids? - no. what kind of music do you like? - classic rock, christian contemporary, classical... any favorite bands? - The Beatles, The Stones, Aerosmith, Mercy Me, Third Day ever been to a concert? - yeah anything crazy ever happened at one? - I was mistaken for my mother's mother... she was acting like an idiot, and I was minding my baby sister, so the stranger behind us thought I was the parent and she was the idiot kid. ever met anyone famous? - Ben Stein, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood if you could spend time alone with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? - That's a hard question, but sitting here, sick, tired, and just a few weeks past the 12th anniversary of his death... I'd pick Dad... assuming that he were himself, and not just some reanimated rotting corpse. what would you do with that time? - Tell him how much I miss him, about his grandchildren (my sister's 2 kids), about the good man I married and what I made of myself, and about how I can't drive through an intersection in a town he's never been in without thinking of him because something about it reminds me of the way he died, and that I have to drive near or through it nearly every day... so I think of him all the time. I'd tell him how proud I am to have been his daughter... how his picture is still up in my home... how much I regret not writing to him as much as he wanted when he was alive. I would tell my sweet, precious Daddy that he succeeded... I think I'm the kind of woman a father could be proud of. I'd want him to know that. do you like animals? - depends on the animal. do you have any pets? - 2 dogs, 2 cats. Have had a rabbit & fish, Dad had snakes, my Gram had a bird, there was a time I had a guinea pig as a wee tot... if you were in a hurry to get somewhere but saw an injured dog on the highway, would you stop? - I might or I might not. If it was clear that it was past help, I wouldn't. But I've taken animals to the vet in the past to be taken care of. do you stop to help turtles across the road - dunno that I've ever been driving when I encountered that situation... if I have at all... who are your heroes? - firemen, EMTs, cops, soldiers... ordinary people who put their lives on the line to help others do you drink alcohol? what kind? - rarely... wine, sweet fru-fru stuff if you could go back in time, what would you change? - I might have written to my father more. Maybe. But the big things shape who we are too much. Even the stuff you'd expect me to change I wouldn't. what is important to you? - my loved ones... esp my husband. my faith. any tats? how many? where? describe? - nope piercings? - my ears were peirced twice, now the second hole has healed over, and I never wear more than studs in the first, and not often. did you have a happy childhood? - it wasn't the worst it could have been, and I do have many happy memories (especially with my Dad) but no, I didn't have a happy childhood. No sane person would call my childhood even remotely happy. what do you drive? - 1988 Plymouth Reliant K Station Wagon with just under 78000 miles on it. I don't drive much. political beliefs? - I'm conservative in my beliefs, but most politicians are just dirty. The few men I know in office that I trust I vehement oppose labelling them as politicians... they're not two-faced. religious beliefs? - Bible-Believing Christian. smoke? - nope... allergic to the smoke cry easily? - very what are your dreams, what would you like to see happen with your life? - I want to raise children that are freed from the emotional bondage I grew up in, who actually live the promise we all have, and who might, actually, be happy and raise happy children who raise happy children.... I want to change my family tree for the better. do you wish on stars? - not really ever had a wish come true? - I've had prayers answered, but I don't know about wishes come true. favorite cartoon characters? - I don't know. Maybe Stewie Griffin? favorite all time song? - I like too many songs to pick one out can you dance? - I can move semi-rhythmically to music, but I doubt that counts. sing? - I try. I sing in choir (which I skipped today because I seem to be getting bronchitis) what's the kindest thing someone has done for you? - love me. what makes you happy? - all sorts of things... little things... doing things for other people makes me happy. Knowing someone thought of me makes me happy. Seeing something silly makes me happy. Songs make me happy. Driving through The Intersection without having a panic attack makes me happy. hobbies? - Um... I collect games, I crochet, cross-stitch, have recently taken up some beading... talents? - I write. Poetry mostly, but some other things, too.

hjourdenjackson

hjourdenjackson

 

If You Knew Me At All...

If you knew me at all, you'd know that   I frequently and joyfully declare myself to be odd, weird, a freak, nerd, dork, or geek.   I am a total drama queen, but I'm trying to be sane about it.   I act in small productions... church, community theatre... met my husband that way.   I have 4 sisters, a brother in law, and between them (the youngest sister doesn't have any children yet) I have a dozen neices and nephews.   I'm deathly afraid of spiders and flushing the toilet after dark.   I can't watch horror movies after dark in my own home. I won't start a horror/suspense/thriller movie if it will end after the sun's gone down. I'll go to other people's houses, I'll go to theatres... but I can't sleep in the same house where I just saw a horror movie in the dark.   I despise the smell of seafood. I'm not allergic to it, but the odor makes me ill. I grew up on the East Coast of the US, near a place that apparently burned the seafood as it spoiled, so there was the concentrated odor of burning, rotting seafood all the time... can't get past it. I've tried.   I'm very emotionally attatched to my pets, probably more than my husband would care to admit, though not as much as some seem to be. The thought of losing them makes me cry, and I wrote a poem about it once.   I'm cheerfully underemployed, but a full-time volunteer for my church.   I'm blissfully happily married.   My husband and I's first date was my 19th birthday, he proposed on my 20th, and exactly 6 months later, we were married... and it still took him 6 years to remember "23" was the important date.   It breaks my heart that I can't have children, but I'm waiting for the day when I know it's right to adopt.   I LOVE CHOCOLATE.   I can't have caffeine or carbonation anymore.     I think I'm rambling...

hjourdenjackson

hjourdenjackson

 

switch witch help

Here's things I thought of after sending in the questionnaire. It drives me nuts when I do that, but I was just so excited to get it turned in and be on the list!     For jewelry, I like lots of different things- some fairly big pieces like large pendants, and also little delicate things. I wear lots of Egyptian, Celtic, and Art Deco- influenced jewelry. I like green amber but not brown. I'm not so into fantasy sorts of things, like fairies and unicorns, or cutsie things like hearts. (Cats don't count as cutesy, just perfect.)   I thought of some things on my book wishlist- anything except 'The 13th Element' by John Elmsley- I read that one and it was fantastic. Books from the Amelia Peabody series except 'The Ape that Guards the Balance' and 'The Golden One.' (I got those two free at work, so I'm interested in going back and reading the series in order- it starts with The Crocodile on the Sandbank.)     I'm sure I'll think of more later and I'll add it here! I hope you're having fun with the spring switch witch- I know I am!

eanewsom

eanewsom

 

candles!

I forgot, I've been ogling Dark Candles. The scents I think sound great: Amber Velvet Apparition Attention Whore Ballsy Broad Cain Clove Dark Carnival Dracula Erotica Forbidden Fruit Full Moon Jack O'Latte Pumpkin and Spice

eanewsom

eanewsom

 

Oh yeah, an update would be nice.

Yay, February's over, Mercury retrograde is over, and we found a house we fell in love with! Now to get a mortgage.   Seriously, that's about all I've done for the past month, kept my head down and got on with life. And ate and slept and peed, on a personal, physical level. But the day that Mercury went direct again, we found our house.   4 bedrooms, 2 baths, a nice backyard, 2 car garage, washer/dryer hookups, an attic that can easily be converted into living space (aka, hi, master bedroom and family room and magic room!).... and the attic even has a mysterious old chest in it. It was built in 1900, and it's very narrow... hell, the lot is narrow, 25 x 125. But it's perfect for us. The kitchen is great, with tons of counter space, and it's got a dining room, even! Except for needing a refrigerator (the stove is there), and the fact that we don't own the place yet, we could move in tomorrow.   C'mon, mortgage. My husband just sent in some information to the credit bureaus about the tax liens that showed up on his credit report that aren't his. (Yet another reason NOT to name your kids anything Junior... the liens are his dad's, who has the same name.) Hopefully we'll get some good news on Monday. Cross your fingers for us?   In case I haven't mentioned, the price is ridiculously low. It's been on the market for a while, and I think the owner wants to get rid of it, but also it faces a parking lot and an oil refinery. Not that I care; I'll be hanging out in the backyard all the time, and when the wind blows the wrong way, I've got incense. The wind doesn't really blow the wrong way all that much, though... the lake is to the north, and the refinery's to the southeast.   Ok. Going back to wibbling and worrying. All good wishes are appreiciated.

Kitrona

Kitrona

 

Disgruntled

Why is it that there are no adult faerie tales? I don't mean "adult" like erotica or even erotica-lite, because there's plenty of that. Don't get me wrong- young adult fiction can be very well written, but sometimes I want the tone of an adult book. I want the perspective of an old book.   I grew up on Robin McKinley. When I was 11 years old (or thereabout), I thought The Outlaws of Sherwood was the best book ever.   But I want intricate plots, the kind that don't often come up in 200-300 page books. Even in 300-400, to be honest.   WHERE ARE ALL THE FAERIE TALES??

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

My mother's gotten into the red kryptonite.

Okay, so my relationship with my mother isn't the best, right? It's pretty abusive, emotionally. It's the main reason why I'm moving to Chicago.   So I told her I was moving on Monday, right? And she got really pissed off and started interrogating me about it, before saying we'll talk about it this weekend.   Today, she called me and told me she made me an eye appointment for Wednesday, because when I move I 'won't be on [her] insurance anymore'.   She sounded cheerful.   What. The. Fuck.

snowfox090

snowfox090

 

Yesterday was fine

My presentation went well! And I missed one problem on my math exam, because I made a stupid mistake. -1 squared is not -1. So obviously I'm not going to come out with -6 in the end! Bleh. But it's a really good score and I'm happy with it. Happy enough that I'm considering pre-calculus instead of history. (I think precalc is all full now, though.)   Let's see. So, yeah. I had a good presentation. Oh! But the reason I came here to write an update? I found my pilates dvd that I stuck with!! And my husband ordered it for me! Hooray! It's called The Method Pilates: Target Specifics. That one for the arms is really, really good. I'm going to do a segment hopefully every day. My first goal is twice a week, though. I just can't wait to get it! Eventually I'll cycle it with the other pilates dvd I have, and maybe get some more.   In other news: I've discovered FlyLady, and she is helping me gradually establish a routine to eventually declutter. Her tone is annoying sometimes, but I generally like her, and her ideas really work for me. I'm totally that person she's talking about. I'm currently doing the 31 days of baby steps and I'm on day 5. (My husband is using Convergence spending money to bribe me to stick to it, and considering how gradual it is, it's a nice motivation.)   Now somebody needs to talk me into cutting down to skim milk. This is a huge deal. I drink loads of milk, and grew up drinking whole milk. Sooo, I don't know.   I also need to start making quick and easy snacks, before a craving hits. Hard boiled eggs are so easy to make and stick in the fridge, and I love them. What are some other snacks that are healthy and good to eat? I have SUCH an addiction to sugar that not a lot will get rid of those cravings, but I'm trying. Any help would be much appreciated!

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

BPAL Locket!

My BPAL locket came! Yaaay! I had to wait a few days to wear it, 'cause I wanted to buy ribbon for it. I think I'll wear it out for my date this weekend with the bf. We're going to go see 300       Admittedly, I didn't put anything in my locket today. At first I used a bit of cotton with Antique Lace, but......it's not pretty enough! The cotton bits poked through. I read in the Trading Post thread that someone used a bit of velvet, or cloth so I think I'm gonna do that. I just need to find a fabric store and cheap fabric.   What do you use?

circe_blue

circe_blue

 

BPAL and BPTP oils tried

Here is a list of BPAL and BPTP scents I've tried. Well, to be exact, scents that are listed are ones I either have tried or are pretty sure I have. A ? indicates I'm not sure.   This will be edited/added to periodically     BPAL General Catalog   Bewitching Brews Absinthe Aeval Antique Lace Arachne Arcana Aureus Belle Epoque Bess Bewitched Blood Blood Amber Blood Kiss Blood Pearl Bon Vivant Brimstone Cathode Chimera The Coiled Serpent Dana O’Shee Delirium Eclipse Empyreal Mist Fae Grog The Hesperides Hymn to Proserpine Incantation? Intrigue? The Jersey Devil? La Bella Donna Della Mia Mente La Belle Dame Sans Merci Lampades Leanan Sidhe Lightning Lurid Masquerade Mata Hari Morgause Namaste? Omen? Ouija? Phantasm Poisoned Apple The Raven Scarecrow Scherezade Séance Shattered Swank Tempest Ulalume Ultraviolet   Ars Moriendi (Funereal Oils) Embalming Fluid Eternal Midnight The Reaper and the Flowers Twilight Wings of Azrael   Dark Elements   Sin & Salvation Envy Lust Pride The Bow & Crown of Conquest The Great Sword of War Black Dahlia? De Sade Dirty Dorian Hellfire Hymn Jailbait Laudanum Sea of Glass Sin Vice?   Love Potions Ave Maria Gratia Plena Bathsheba Bien Loin D'ici Bordello Brisingamen Carnal Debauchery Delight Depraved Desire Endymion Forbidden Fruit Harlot Hetairae Hunger Jezebel Kabuki La Belle Au Bois Dormant La Petit Mort The Lady of Shalott Le Serpent Qui Danse Les Bijoux Lilium Inter Spinas Lolita Loralei Lucy’s Kiss Maiden Muse Nefertiti O Perversion Psyche Queen of Sheba? Rapture Ravenous Salome Saturnalia Satyr Sed Non Satiata Seraglio Siren Snake Oil Spellbound Succubus The Temptation Suspiro Vixen Wanda Wanton? Whip   Diabolus Akuma Baobhan Sith Black Phoenix Blood Countess Catherine Hell’s Belle Hellcat Imp Kistune-Tsuki Kuang Shi Kumiho Maenad Masabakes Phantom Phantom Queen Phobos Szepasszony Wicked   The Carousel Bilquis   Mad Tea Party Alice Cheshire Cat Croquet The Dormouse? Drink Me Eat Me The Knave of Hearts The Lion March Hare The Mock Turtle’s Lessons Mouse’s Long and Sad Tale Queen Alice The Queen of Hearts The Red Queen Tiger Lily Tweedledee Tweedledum The Unicorn White Rabbit   Illyria Cordelia Desdemona Iago Juliet Katharina Ophelia Rosalind Tamora Titania Viola   Wanderlust Athens Baghdad Bengal Cairo Danube Delphi Dublin Eden Florence Glasgow Gomorrah The Hamptons The Hanging Gardens Hollywood Babylon Kyoto London Machu Picchu? Madrid? Mag Mell Manhattan Manila Morocco Neo-Tokyo New Orleans Paris Prague Rome? Shanghai Silk Road Sri Lanka Tenochtitlan Venice Versailles Vinland? Yerevan   Ars Draconis Dragon’s Blood Ladon Tanin’iver   Rappaccini’s Garden Baneberry Belladonna Black Hellebore? Blood Lotus Blood Rose Moon Rose Shadow Witch Orchid Sundew   The Salon Silence   A Picnic in Arkham Miskatonic University Shub-Niggurath   Excolo Aizen-Myoo Eos Eris Eve Hecate Iambe Kali Kurukulla Lilith Loviatar Nuit Nyx? Osun Oya Peitho Pele Persephone Sacred Whore of Babylon Shango Xiuhtecuhtli Yemaya Calliope Clio Erato Euterpe Melpomene Polyhymnia Terpsichore Thaleia Urania Euphrosyne Thalia Aglaea Verdandi Megaera Tisiphone Utrennyaya Zorya Liber Resh Vel Helios: Khephra   Voodoo Blends #20 Love Oil All Night Long? Aunt Caroline’s Joy Mojo? Block Buster Come to Me? Dove’s Heart Fire of Love Follow Me Boy French Love Has No Hanna Love Me Queen Red Devil Van Van Water of Notre Dame Wolf’s Heart   Tarot Oils The Tower The Star   Sephiroth   The Chakras   Panacea Seduction Succor Lustration Moxie Detox Safari   Somnium Oneiroi Baku Temple of Dreams?     BPAL Discontinued Cabaret Glitter (both old version and resurrected version) Spectre <3, but swapped away because I'd never be able to get more     BPAL Limited Edition Lunacies Budding Moon Chaste Moon Chrysanthemum Moon Flower Moon Frost Moon Holiday Moon Honey Moon Hungry Ghost Moon Kindly Moon Milk Moon 05? Pink Moon Roux-Ga-Roux 4/07 Schwarzer Mond Strawberry Moon   Carnaval Noir Bearded Lady Gypsy Queen Midway Snake Charmer   Carnaval Diabolique Arachnina Australian Copperhead Boomslang Cottonmouth Faiza Priala Temple Viper Tiresias Zarita the Doll Girl   A Demon in My View Alone Annabel Lee The City in the Sea Dreamland The Evening Star The Haunted Palace Lenore? Spirits of the Dead?   Maelstrom Ligeia Montresor Morella? The Premature Burial? The Tell-Tale Heart?     Lupercalia Khajuraho Luperci Parlement of Foules sp The Perfumed Garden Smut   Spring-ish LEs Et Lux Fuit sp Ides of March Litha   Halloweenie Creepy Punkie Night Spooky   Yule Jacob's Ladder 05 and 06 Lick It Lick It Again Peacock Queen Rose Red 05? Snow White   Horoscope Aries 2007     Black Phoenix Trading Post The Agony of Heartache The Ecstasy of Infatuation The Ecstasy of True Love Hellion La Fee Verte Treat 1 Trick 1 Trick 2   ------------------------------------------- Cut out from my wishlist because I'm not actively seeking these (would create another entry but at the moment I can't figure out how to do that!):   More LEs and Unimpables (very low priority) DimV: any but Al-Araaf, Alone, Annabel Lee, The City in the Sea, Dreamland, The Evening Star, The Haunted Palace, Lenore, Spirits of the Dead Maelstrom: any but Ligeia, Montresor, Morella, The Premature Burial, The Tell-Tale Heart Tarot: any except Death, The Devil, The Emperor, The Hanged Man, High Priestess, The Star, The Sun, The Tower, The World Old Version Celestials/Zodiac Signs: these tend not to work on me so I'll be a little reluctant to try others, but if you'd still like to make an offer... any but Luna, Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Pluto, Virgo Yule 2005: Yuletide Panacea: Quietude, Bitch, TKO, other new ones besides Ugh Chaos Theory: I have tried CT2: XXXVIII (38), CXXXIV (134), CCXCV (295) and do not want to bother with more since there's only one bottle made of each scent

jazlyn

jazlyn

 

Meep

I have a math exam and a presentation in speech today, and I am freaked out. And really tired. Mostly freaked out.   I'm going to be so glad when today is over with. SO. GLAD.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

Ouch. Not. Again

Ouch. He breaks my heart again and he doesn't even know it. It's been 5 years for f**** sake and I can't take this, whatever it is, anymore. Lobotomy please.

Maia

Maia

 

Ugh...

Dear Excolo, this has been a roller coaster of a day. Brace yourselves, dear friends; this is going to read like a novel.   First off, birthday greetings, which are always happily received. It's a bit ironic that the majority of them came from people here, most of whom I have not met face-to-face, in comparison with the ones that came in from those who I actually know here in Denver. They really, truly helped the day to go better.   I'm driving myself to distraction trying to get ready for Saturday. It isn't the fault of the people who are sponsoring it; they have been wonderfully communicative, and I have a really good feeling about how things will go. Perversely, this is exactly what's goading me to this frenzy; I want to make a good impression on them. Another show that I have inquired about, however, has not gotten back in contact with me, and I think that I'm going to put in another call to them tomorrow. That show is more established, and caters to a more monied crowd, but I'm less impressed with their coordinator. I have two other prospective events which I need to contact, and I have a sinking feeling that the person who does my casting has up and disappeared.   My mother called to wish me a happy birthday, and somehow managed to turn the conversation into an inquisition. I love her dearly, but we have communication problems that span back a lifetime. I know that she's concerned, and I know that she wants me to do well, but the way she expresses herself often leads to messages that are not just mixed, but completely scrambled.   For one thing, she is incredibly gung-ho, and doesn't seem to understand that her displays of cheerleader-ish behavior come across very, very badly. I'm knocking myself out on a daily basis, but she doesn't get to see that, since she's halfway across the country. As a result, her exhortations about the things that I could be doing come across as criticisms that I'm not actually doing enough.   Take today, for instance; I mentioned that I could, possibly, take my skills to someone else's shop. The reasons that I haven't are several; for one thing, the past two years have seen several established local jewelers go out of business. In one case, the firm had been around for over a century. The economic downturn hit them badly, and the uptick came too little, too late. It's sad, really, that they had to close their doors just as things are starting to recover, but I can understand. The lean years were very lean indeed, and the fact that my business is so very small worked in my favor. The point is, the other firms weren't hiring during the recession, and now there's something of a local glut of people with more experience that I have. If I had been working for one of those firms, I would be out of a job, and my own business would be further back on the growth curve. If I went out looking now, I would be in competition with people who have locally recognized names like Kortz Jewelers on their resumes, and bench jeweler certifications under their belts. I have neither of these to offer, so it stands to reason that the remaining companies would be less inclined to take a chance on me. And, as I have mentioned before, I got spoiled while working for my Old Goat. By the time he passed away, he had put an incredible amount of responsibility on my shoulders, coupled with an equal amount of trust, and I would likely not find that anywhere else. Before I could tell my mom any of this, however, she started in on how it would be a good idea, and I would probably have use of tools at another shop that I don't have in my own. Never mind the fact that an employer would not look very kindly about my using company tools for my own projects, I have holes in my knowledge base, and I know it. I even said so.   Her response was that, although I'm probably not going to go back to college at this point, there's nothing stopping me from taking art classes in the things I'm interested in learning.   I admit it; I don't have a degree. I was a few credit hours shy of my Associates when I had to drop out because of carpal tunnel syndrome. There were nights when I couldn't hold a pen to do my classwork. I am not proud of this, but I have tried to make up for the lack by doing things like reading chemistry and biology textbooks for fun, and I haven't given up on the dream of going back when my life is a bit more settled. What I'm sure that my mother meant to say was "I know that you have other priorities in your life right now." What I heard, however, was "I have become resigned to the fact that you are going to allow your brains to turn into porridge."   Yes, I could take metalworking courses; the ones offered by Metro State are well-regarded, and the campus is very close by. However, although I have holes in my skill set, I also am far beyond the 100-level classes. They focus on things like saw-pierced copper projects and making basic bezel set cabochon pieces. I have the design of a $15,000 diamond ring under my belt, and I regularly construct rings that have bridge mountings and cathedral shoulders. When I pointed out that taking college courses for jewelry design would mean interviewing with the professors so that they could figure out where to put me, she pointed out that they have telephones. I deferred on that idea, and pointed out that the Colorado Metalsmith's Association has skill-specific seminars; she immediately began grilling me as to what they offer, how much the membership is, and how much the courses cost. And she offered to pay for a year's membership for me.   I should be jumping for joy at this, right? Except for the part in which I'm not.   As of this moment, I have been officially 39 years old for about 3 hours (I was born very late on March 7th), but I feel as though I'm being treated like I'm a third that age. Honestly, this is the sort of thing that you would do with a not-terribly-motivated teenager; apply a very big stick, then dangle the carrot. I'm not that teenager anymore, and I resent being bullied as though I am.   She has always been like this; gung-ho beyond the bounds of reason. She owned her first business before she was eighteen. She owned her first home before she was 25. One semester, she attended college full time, worked a full-time job, and a part-time one as well. (Granted, she only did that for the one semester, but she did it.) She lives as though she has a ram jet powering her, and she holds the people around her to the same standard. This has caused considerable friction in the past; one year she went to my school and asked to see my history of academic achievement test scores. I consistently placed in the top 1st to 5th percentile for verbal and reading comprehension, and in the top 20th to 25th percentile in math. This means that, at my worst, I was doing better than 75% of my peers. Most parents would be delighted at this, but she took me aside and told me that it didn't look as though I had achieved all that much. What she meant was that she saw room for me to pull up my math scores, and if I had been able to earlier overcome the combination of inadequate teaching and math-phobia instilled by my father, I probably could have done just that. That wasn't what she said though, and she was befuddled when I took her pronouncement badly.   Now, she harps on my business, and the notion that I'm not doing "enough". Pray tell; what defines "enough"? I'm not making a fortune, but I'm making enough to keep going. I'm steadily increasing my income every year. I'm not a Name, but I'm becoming well-regarded locally. I have had people at the Cafe where I exhibit -- people who are not rolling in riches, mind you -- eat ramen noodles for a week so that they can afford to commission a special piece from me as a gift for someone else, and that says more about how my work is regarded than the glossiest ad campaign. I'm my own bookkeeper, my own advertising agency, my own promoter, my own designer, and my own manufacturer. What I do is physically exhausting; I spend what feels like hours on end hunched over, blowtorch in hand, not able to move around because I need heat in one exact spot for a soldering operation. At the end of long day, every muscle in my body is knotted or twitching, and sometimes both. How is this not "enough"?   I really feel that a lot of this can be laid at my father's feet. Although she has tried to purge the damage that he did from our relationship, I can see its shadow. My father was more of an artiste than an artisan, and certainly didn't have a lot in the way of goals or drive. It's no mistake that both he and my mother used the same insult on me when I was younger; whenever I did something that one of them didn't like, they would accuse me of acting "just like" the other one, and I had no illusions that this was meant as a compliment. If I point this out to her, it will probably cause her to back off quickly enough, but I fear that it might also do some damage in the process.   Now, on top of all this, D. -- my dear Grad Student -- got a bundle of mixed news from his PhD applications. First off was a very polite and properly regretful rejection letter from UCLA, which was really the wild card application. They would have had to throw a lot of money at him to compensate for the cost of living increase; and there's that fact that I would be illegally bringing a ferret into California. Yes, domestic ferrets are illegal in California, and if I get started on the idiocy of that particular bit of legislation, I'll be typing all night. So, while that letter made the overall decision making process easier in a way, it's still bittersweet; UCLA is a good school, Los Angeles is one of the world's great cities, and they're doing research there that really interests him.   The second bit of news was an acceptance letter from U of M. However, it's a backhanded acceptance, as it comes with no funding whatsoever. No TA offers, no RA offers, and no tuition assistance. U of M had a record number of internal applicants this year, and didn't get two major grants because NIH funding has been slashed by the Bush administration.   Just to bring this into perspective: Minnesota makes it incredibly hard for a student to establish residency, largely because they have a very good social safety net for residents. You have to work in the state, and student positions do not count. The legislation was obviously written with undergrads in mind, and didn't take the needs and restrictions of graduate students into account. This means that, for the past two years, he has been living there, paying taxes there, and voting there, but he would have to pay out-of-state tuition -- at some $13,000 per semester -- if he stayed at U of M. There is simply no way that we can afford that.   The realization hit him this afternoon as he was leaving campus: we won't be able to start our lives in Minneapolis unless something miraculous happens. We won't be able to live there, possibly for a very long time. I love the city. He loves the city. We have friends there; good friends. After all of the trauma with selling the condo, moving across the country, leaving Home behind, our developing and then maintaining our relationship, and his doing so with a badly broken leg at the start of it ...it comes to this. A slightly more polite version of "Oh, okay. Whatever" from the university.   It's not like the rejection from Johns Hopkins, but it is going to take a while for him to process it.   From CU-Denver, there is still an increasingly uncomfortable silence.   Now, when he called this afternoon, we had already been going back and forth about these things on his blog (the joys of the modern relationship) for much of the day. He even apologized during the text exchange about this not being a very fun birthday present. I told him that he had nothing for which to apologize; however, the collected faculty and staff of both U of M and the CU-HSC need to prostrate themselves before me en masse and beg my dubious mercy. Of course, by the time he called, we were both in a Mood, and tandem whining is not best done over 900 miles of copper and fiber optic cable. I was fresh from a verbal fencing match, he was distracted and obsessive, and neither of us really got the comfort that we needed from the other. He apologized for that in a later e-mail; he really just wanted to wish me a happy birthday and see how I was doing. Luckily, this weekend we will be able to hash some of this out together, and not over various cable systems, since he's driving down for Spring Break. Right now, though, we are both bone-weary and more than a little numb.   Can I just go back to being 38 and get a do-over next week?

goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

 

Weird

I was awakened today that 6am by my TV going on and off...by itself Ummm, ok. So I figure that since I am up I might as well check the school closings, since it's going to snow all day today. Well, I saw that my county has closed schools and went back to sleep, happy that I won't have to do this presentation till next week. I wake again, because yep, my TV is doing its thing. I unplug it and go back to sleep. When I wake again I double check school closings and of course, my county is NOT listed.   Man, I could've sworn it was closed today! What a cruel trick you're playing, weird-haunted TV!

circe_blue

circe_blue

 

Bad Monday and Wedding Decor

Monday was ended up being a bad day. I would like to be able to point at some point and say, "That's when my bad mood started," but I can't. I know I was in a decent enough mood earlier in the day. However, by the time I got home from work, my mood was shit. I think it started b/c I had a headache. Not a full blown migraine, just an annoying, nagging, sharp pain in my temples.   I was trying to make myself go to the gym the whole way home, but as soon as I opened the door to my house, all possibility of going to the gym went out the window. I was greeted by the reek of dog shit. Brutus had taken a shit in his kennel at some point during the day, and then proceeded to track it all over his kennel and into his doggie bed. Great.   I spent the next hour cleaning his kennel and giving him a bath. He isn't the most horrid dog to bathe *glares at Mika*; he just stands or sits there and takes it, but it still isn't fun, and it isn't what I want to deal with as soon as I get home. I've never quite figured out why dogs dislike baths. Personally, I would think they would love them - it is basically a full body massage.   After bathing him and returning him to his kennel (for his own protection from me), the house still reeked of dog shit. I decided that I had to do something about it and ran over to the CVS to pick up some air fresheners. Once I picked out what I wanted and got up to the counter, I realized I left my wallet at home. I had to run back home, get my wallet, and head back to pick up my air fresheners.   After all that, then add that meanwhile Mr Man was having a bad a day at work with a few deals falling apart, so when he got home, he was in a shitty a mood. It just wasn't a good night. We also watched V for Vendetta, which I enjoyed, however, it did not make for a mood lifter by any means.   Yesterday was a bit quieter. The only main thing that happened is that apparently the second course in cake decorating was pushed back a week and half. Now I'm not so sure that I'll take it or what that'll mean. I may just wait a little bit before taking the course again.   Today, I have found it hard to concentrate on work. I keep thinking about the wedding and decorating. I think that is because I was looking at decorations last night a Michaels. If I go with CBRC, which I think I will, this is what I'm thinking. Here is the space (poorly decorated for a wedding) from a picture I took last weekend:   http://korshkaswedding.googlepages.com/IMG_1529.jpg   I'm thinking about a variation for an example shown on their website:   http://korshkaswedding.googlepages.com/IMG_0227v.jpg   Here is my quick sketch (what am I actually supposed to do work at work):   http://korshkaswedding.googlepages.com/Sketch.jpg   I am thinking about using a darker fabric to drape along the ceiling like a dark grey. Then I would pok holes in it and put Christmas lights (or the clear version of these) through them (that's what all the dots are). This would give it a "starry sky" like feel. The globes hanging down would be dark wine/maroon colored lanterns. I'm not sure how, but I'm confident I can figure out how to make these. I have some at home that I can use as shells to cover that have battery powered lights in them. Then use a few fake trees around the room to finish it off. The trees could also be decorated with lights or something cooler.   How does this sound a rough idea? Am I being a total dreamer thinking this set up could look nice and elegant? How much do think it would cost (not including the fake trees)? $300 or so? Anyone want to let me barrow their white Christmas lights after Christmas this year?

korshka

korshka

 

the madness

What is it about knowing that you will have new bpal waiting for you at home that makes working so unbearable!!! I for sure have a box from the lab filled with tons of goodies and I'm hoping a box from the trading post too. But either way, it's there, mocking me, calling me, whispering, "Jessie, come open me....sniff me....you know you want to."   But I can't. I have to work.             But I will sneak off at lunch and go check my mail! Muahahahahahaha

jessiesquash

jessiesquash

 

Gnaw

Stupid Lord of the Rings. Arrgh. I seriously want to email my 101 instructor and be like, "Do you believe this freak??? OMGSRSLY!" I don't really want to, but I wish I knew if he would be surprised that my papers are rating so poorly.   I was so tired today that for a brief moment, everything I looked at was this odd shade of orange.   I have a presentation to give in my speech class on thursday. How stressed about that am I? Very little. Less than I probably should be.   Guh.   I didn't even get to nap today. And I haven't been to the mailbox, and I have swaps that need to go out. Speaking of swaps, I haven't heard anything further from Duck Mountain, though I imagine she's got a few things to get in order. I guess I was expecting that to be sort of straightened out when she sent the message.   I have never wanted a BPAL tee shirt as much as Pink Moon... and my mom snagged it for me! That sucker is going to be so very worn out it's not even funny.   Is it summer yet? Why is there another quarter of classes before the break? I want summer break noooooow. I'm hoping next quarter changes that mindset for me, though.   What'm I going to take in the fall? That's a good question. It's something fun to obsess over! A&P 1 for sure. Other possibilities: English 201, Statistics, Pre-calc, Speech, some sort of literature class, physical anthropology... Dunno! Probably statistics and literature.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

What I have

These are the imps I've kept after testing, and the 5s I have. It seems I like resins and flowers mixed with non-florals.   Aeval Ahathoor Alecto Bess Black Dahlia Black Forest Chaos Theory III – MLXII 5mL Chuparosa Darkling Thrush 5mL Dee Delphi Dr. John Seward 5mL Endymion Euterpe Frumious Bandersnatch Gaueko 5mL pending Ginnivre 5mL Hesperides Kumiho Laudanum Maenad Morgause Nocnitsa Oneiroi Parlement of Foules 5mL Pool of Tears Silk Road Thalia Thanatos Tiger Lily Tzadikim Nistarim Uruk Venice Verdandi White Moon 5 mL Xiuhtecuhtli Yerevan

monsteralice

monsteralice

 

Tintagel

Imp #9: Tintagel   "Spicy mulled wine flowing through the musky heat, warm leather and bright clash of armor, the damp branches of Cornish hawthorn, blackthorn, juniper, English elm and bayberry, and the magical tingle of dragon's blood resin."   Note: Late in cycle. Imp straight from the Lab, but about three months old.   In the bottle: Dragon's blood, bayberry, & juniper jump out at me. I don't get the leather, though there is a brightness. It is rather potpourri like at this stage.   On me: I think that the leather & hawthorn are coming out. I have no good way of identifying the blackthorn. I'm getting a slightly forresty mulled cider effect. The metal has gotten sharper.   1 hour+ later: It had decent throw for a little while, but now most of it is gone. Now it is mostly dragon's blood again, I think, with a little leather and metal. Not terribly exciting, but nice and clean in a woodsy sort of way, like a wood maintained by a forrester, not a rolling around in the dirt sort of way.

Gaidig

Gaidig

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