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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
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I smell glorious
 

Monster Bait: biggerCritters... and nightmares

I'm excited about MB: biggerCritters, and I'm contemplating purchasing a critter just to get the bottle with the Speshul label. I'm doing this mostly because I had horrible nightmares last night. I can't remember most of them but what I can remember was horrible -- my worst fears, oozing out of my subconscious to get me. Not monsters or the supernatural... being abandoned by the people I care about, and knowing I deserved it.   I'm so glad I'm awake. It wasn't a good night.     [small]I dreamed, among other things, that Hannah didn't care about me any more... that was horrible. Some of the taint of that is still sitting in my mind.[/small]
myoubi

myoubi

0
bryghtrose's Blog
 

Reviews

I'm trying every scent that comes my way, because I never know when I'm going to find something wonderful.   Aeval Aglaea ! Allison Gross Amsterdam Anne Bonny Antique Lace Aquae Massage Oil Arcana Archangel Winter Asphodel Athens Aunt Caroline's Joy Mojo Aureus Ave Maria Gratia Plena Aziraphale   Baobhan Sith Bastet's Laughter (TAL) Bathsheba Bayou Beltane 2006 Beltane 2008 Bilquis Black Hellebore Black Opal Black Rose Block Buster Blood X Blood Rose X Bow and Crown of Conquest Brisingamen Burial   Calico Jack Calliope Capricorn Cathedral Catherine Clio ! Coiled Serpent Cottonmouth ! Crossroads   Dance of Death Danube Death of Autumn, The Delirium Dia de los Muertos 2007 Dragon's Bone Dragon's Heart X Dragon's Musk X   East, The Ecstasy of St. Theresa ! Endymion Eos ! Ephemera Erato Ether Euphrosyne Event Horizon   Fairy Market ! Fallen Forbidden Fruit French Love X Glasgow   Hades Haunted Harvest Moon Helena Her Voice Hetairae Hemlock Highwayman Hollywood Babylon X Horn of Plenty Hurricane Hymn ! Hymn to Proserpine   Intrigue Jailbait X Jasmine Cottage Jolasveinar Kitsune-Tsuki Kostnice   Lady Una Languor Leanan Sidhe ! Les Fleurs du Mal Libertine Lilium Inter Spinas ! Lilith Long Night Moon ! Loralei Love-In-Idleness ! Loviatar Lucy's Kiss Luna The Lurid Library Lust Lysander   Mad Sweeney Magdalene Mag Mell Malediction Mama-Ji Mandrake Mania Masquerade Mata Hari Medea ! Melancholia Melisande, the Puppet Mistress ! Midnight Kiss Midnight on the Midway ! Midwinter's Eve Miskatonic University Mistletoe Mme. Moriarty Claw Polish Mr. Ibis Moon Rose Morgause Morocco Moscow   Nanshe Namaste Neo-Tokyo Netzach Nephilim Nero Niflheim Nuit   O Oberon October 2007 Old Scratch Opium Poppy Ostara Oya Ozymandias   Pannychis Paris Parlement of Foules 2008 ! The Passionate Shepherd to his Love ! Pele Penitent Magdalen, The Penthus Pepper Persephone Perversion X Phantasm Phantom Queen ! Pontarlier Prague ! Pulcinella & Teresina   Queen Gertrude Queen Mab Ra Rapture Raven, The Red Devil Robin Goodfellow Rose Red 2005, 2007 ! Rose Red Soap   Salome Scarecrow Scherezade Schrodinger's Cat Sea of Tranquility Seance Sed NonSatiata Selkie ! Seraphim Shadow Witch Orchid ! Shattered Shroud Silk Road Sin Singing Moon Siren Sloth Snake Oil ! Sol Invictus Storm Supportive Sun Suspiro Swan Maiden Szepasszony   Tamora Tempest Terrae Massage Oil Tenohtitlan Thaleia Thirteen (4/13/07) Tiger Lily Tiki Queen Titania Tombstone Tweedledee Tzadikim Nistarim   Ulalume Umbra Unicorn, The ! Villain Vinland Viola Voodoo Lily   War (Good Omens) X White Light (TAL) ! White Moon ! White Phoenix White Rabbit Wicked ! Wilde Wolfsbane Wrath   Yggdrasil Yvain 51       ---------------- ! : loved X : hated
bryghtrose

bryghtrose

0
Squash Soup
 

Order musings

Skip this, it's just me musing about my next order. Since it's spring and almost summer, I'd like to get a few new GC scents that I've been noting as good spring scents.   I'm definitely getting;   MB: Ventriliquist Dummy MB: Bloody Mary MB: Tokyo Stomp   .....and I might get a couple of the Dogs Playing Poker scents; Riding the Goat is really peaking my interest and one other whispered to me the other day but I can't remember which one.   I'm wearing Bordello today and really loving how fresh and sweet it is so I might order a 5ml of that for the season. I need one more springy scent so I'll have to decide between getting something like Amsterdam (light florals) or Manhatttan (modern and sleek) or maybe even Empyreal Mist (very green and fresh). I also really want a 5ml of St. Theresa in Ecstasy but I'm not sure if I should wait until later or not.   I have a few things that I need to sell on ebay to boost my paypal balance a bit. I'm getting my tax return in a few days but I really need most of it to pay off bills. I'm thinking I should only use about $200 of it on teh smellies.   I'm a bad girl because I just ordered a couple of Villainess soaps too and I still am working on my Snake Oil soap and I have one Kumiho to use!   Now I'm going to go haunt the Retail Therapy section in hopes that I can find some really good body lotion....preferrably unscented....because my skin has been so dry lately.
jessiesquash

jessiesquash

0
Whiskers and Whispers
 

Birthday bloggings

From: http://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp   5 April 1985 Your date of conception was on or about 13 July 1984 which was a Friday.   You were born on a Friday under the astrological sign Aries. Your Life path number is 5.   Life Path Compatibility: You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7. You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9. You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8. You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.   The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446160.5. The golden number for 1985 is 10. The epact number for 1985 is 8. The year 1985 was not a leap year.   Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/20/1985 and ending 2/8/1986. You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.   Your Native American Zodiac sign is Hawk; your plant is Dandelion.   You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).   Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 14 Nisan 5745. Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 15 Nisan 5745.   The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.11.15.16 which is 12 baktun 18 katun 11 tun 15 uinal 16 kin   The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Friday, 14 Rajab 1405 (1405-7-14).   The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 7 April 1985. The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 14 April 1985. The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 20 February 1985. The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 26 May 1985. The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 2 June 1985. The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 16 September 1985. The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 6 April 1985. The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 19 February 1985.   As of 4/5/2007 7:03:40 AM EDT You are 22 years old. You are 264 months old. You are 1,148 weeks old. You are 8,035 days old. You are 192,847 hours old. You are 11,570,823 minutes old. You are 694,249,420 seconds old.   Celebrities who share your birthday: Agnetha F„ltskog (1950) Colin Powell (1937) Frank Gorshin (1934) Roger Corman (1926) Gale Storm (1921) Gregory Peck (1916) Bette Davis (1908) Spencer Tracy (1900) Booker T. Washington (1856)   Top songs of 1985 Say You, Say Me by Lionel Richie We Are The World by USA for Africa Careless Whisper by Wham! Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon Money for Nothing by Dire Straits Shout by Tears for Fears Broken Wings by Mr. Mister I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner The Power of Love by Huey Lewis & the News Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears   Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.14481409001957 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)       There are 366 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 23 candles.   Those 23 candles produce 23 BTUs, or 5,796 calories of heat (that's only 5.7960 food Calories!) . You can boil 2.63 US ounces of water with that many candles.     In 1985 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US. In 1985 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile. In 1985 in the US there were 2,425,000 marriages (10.2%) and 1,187,000 divorces (5%) In 1985 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000) In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds. In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.   In 1985 the population of Australia was approximately 15,900,566. In 1985 there were approximately 247,348 births in Australia. In 1985 in Australia there were approximately 115,493 marriages and 39,830 divorces. In 1985 in Australia there were approximately 118,808 deaths.     Your birthstone is Diamond   The Mystical properties of Diamond   Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities. Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)   Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire   Your birth tree is   Rowan, the Sensitivity Full of charm, cheerful, gifted, without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.   There are 264 days till Christmas 2007! There are 277 days till Orthodox Christmas!   The moon's phase on the day you were born was full.
yeahbutnobut

yeahbutnobut

0
I smell glorious
 

I feel gross

and so you know what I did? I went upstairs, put my wrist to my bottle of Shub, and upended the thing. Then I proceeded to smear the resulting puddle of lemonginger goodness all over my forearms, my neck, my temples and the extra got rubbed onto my hips.   That is the first time I have /ever/ upended a bottle onto my skin -- I almost alllways take from the cap, and not more than one little droplet. I smell like ginger. The whole HOUSE smells like ginger. and you know what? I totally do not care.   It is just /that bad/ of a day.   Now I'm going to drink some tea and watch House MD until I run out of episodes. House's snarkitude will make everything better (if that man wore BPAL, he would wear Shub. I know it).
myoubi

myoubi

0
Ahania's Blog
 

I'm doing the cookie dance!

I just found a recipe for vegan chocolate chip cookies that doesn't call for margarine! It's exciting is that I have yet to find an unsalted vegan margarine that doesn't have death fat in it, and when I bake with the salted stuff it always ends up gross. Now I have some inspiration to get over this death flu and unpack until I find my cookie sheets!
eanewsom

eanewsom

0
Birdsongs
 

Weird

I forgot my ex-boyfriend's birthday was the 3rd. Now I feel oddly guilty ... We had friendly conversations over the weekend, then he got angry Monday over an issue with the other roommate (he was trying to put me in the middle of their dispute again, and I was thinking how much I don't miss feeling like I have to put up with his emotional manipulation). So yesterday we exchanged irritable messages, and I didn't say happy birthday or anything - because I totally forgot until 2 am the next day ...   I know it makes no sense to feel guilty. But it kind of points out how much things have changed in an uncomfortable way.   Anyway, I've been feeling good this week. All ready for my fresh start - my card of the day the other day was The Fool. Exciting beginnings! Spring is the perfect time for that (although it feels like it's practically over already. 80 degrees today - bleah).
spanishviolet

spanishviolet

0
Golb? Blog? Bolg?
 

whatever.

Well, life goes on. I'm standing still and the world keeps passing me by at a quickening pace. I have had that feeling for so many years now, and I have had enough of it. For a couple of months now a new feeling has started to grow; that it's time for me to move on. It's time for change. It's kind of a good feeling and I'm terrified that the determination and hope I've felt will fade away.   I'm tired of crying over something that was probably just a hopeless, silly dream anyway. I'm tired of feeling left out from life the good stuff in life. Not that my life is really that bad - it really isn't, but I guess it's easy to focus on the stuff that's missing in our lives, especially when it's big, important stuff like love.   It's spring, finally. I have very mixed feelings about spring, because it's a time of change and time seems to speed up a notch during these months. The blackbirds has started to sing at dusk when I'm on my way home from work. It's the most beautiful and melancholic sound in the whole world.   Pondering whether I should make an order for Milk Moon or not. I probably will. Thank god(ess/whatever) for BPAL.   ...and a little rant: my body chemistry has acted weird for a couple of days - none of my smellies smells like they use to! I miss the way they use to smell on me. Hope it changes back soon.
Maia

Maia

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

First day back

I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that there was no drama today, save me losing my schedule and finding it shortly thereafter. I'm kind of afraid. I sort of like all of my classes and feel comfortable- they're not necessarily going to be particularly "fun", but that's okay.   I tentatively like my instructors. I think I may keep this schedule. Yeah, that's all.
smallvoice

smallvoice

0
HennaFairy's Blog
 

Icons

It's been a while... but my love of this scent, and the fact that the name skeeves eviltemptress to no end, i HAD to do this! LOL!  
HennaFairy

HennaFairy

1
Is Anybody Out There?
 

I feel dumb... heh.

Tiiiiired. Some of you may know why. I'll explain more later.   Anyway. So, I stumbled to my computer this am, and was like, "OMG, somebody hacked my account and added this garish skin and how do I get my f@#%$ing Alice back and I will DIE IF I DO NOT REMEMBER HOW TO CHANGE THE BLOODY SKIN!!" Uh. Right. So, happy April Fool's Day- I've definitely been fooled.   School starts tomorrow, and as of today, I'm keeping precalculus. You all know how that can change in an instant, though! I've got linguistics, then a break for an hour, then cell biology and then precalc. I'm actually quite looking forward to it, to be honest. (Too tired to panic. Y'all know I must be all kinds of tired. Hee.)
smallvoice

smallvoice

0
Eoywin's Blog
 

BLARGH!

Today has not been good.   First, I was doing laundry earlier this afternoon, and Todd had put our new lawnmover in the laundry room. I had moved it out to get to the dryer, and as I was walking out, I crashed into it - smashed the toes on my left foot, and I was wearing sandels. My toes are still hurting, worse then before, so I'm having a hard time walking.   Then the power went out, which irritated me to no end - they are working on the water lines in our neighborhood. It was out for a couple hours, in which time all I could do was find a book and read.   When the power came back on, I got a glass of orange pop, the last in the bottle. Which I presided to spill everywhere, by knocking it over.   After I had cleaned that mess up, I resumed the laundry, which included trying to get the base dress for my Dragon*Con costume white. I got some RIT color taking away stuff, and it didn't work at all. So I just turned the washer back on and dumped what little bleach we had into the washer. If that doesn't work, I'll buy another bottle of bleach at Ingles tomorrow and try that... if that doesn't work, I'll have to hit some thrift stores, and look for a new dress. Blargh!!   Now I have to do the dishes before Todd comes home in an hour, and hope my toes stop hurting soon.   And I still have a migraine!
Eoywin

Eoywin

0
Sourball Ho!
 

Update!

A day early, but fine with me!   Milk Moon 2007 – the previous Milk Moon was not my cuppa tea at all, it ended up like sour breast milk, so I wasn’t expecting to want this one. The other ingredients sound great, but that yucky milk was so off-putting I won’t order. Minotaur – this sounds nice, like Schwarzer Mond. I really like the swarthy smutty musk blends, but lately I haven’t been reaching for them much. It’s springtime and I’m wearing a lot of honeyed and incensey florals. I have Schwarzer Mond already and that will keep me happy. Taurus 2007 – normally a rose LE is a must-order, but the other florals sound a bit overwhelming. I should tell my mom to order, as it’s her birth sign AND her wedding bouquet was daisies, so perfect! I gave her bottles of Harvest Moon 2004 and Numb and she seems to like them, so maybe she’d like this. Poisson d’Avril – another rose one, but iris is sure to overpower it. Nah.   More Monster Baits! I was hoping for another April Fool’s surprise like MB: Underpants, and we have three!   Tokyo Stomp – this sounds great, vanilla and mint. Ventriloquist Dummy – I of course love the base of caramel, brown sugar, hazelnut and butterscotch. Yum! I like patchouli well enough if it’s in a nice blend. The only iffy element is apricot – I thought I’d love Grand Guignol but the apricot brandy smelled just a bit plasticky. Bloody Mary – all these ingredients sound wonderful, I love cherry and red fruits and powdered sugar, and hopefully enough cream to smooth everything out without curdling it.   I had no idea about the Salon Dogs until I read about them in euterpe’s blog! Thanks for pointing me in the right direction, I would have missed all the puppies.   A Bachlelor’s Dog – musk and leather sound good, but I’m afraid the tobacco will become too masculine on me A Bold Bluff – cherry tobacco, on the other hand, I am interested in, plus I do like tonka in most blends. His Station and Four Aces – nope, fougere = cologne on me Kelly Pool – worsted wool, really? All I picture is an old coat. This may be interesting New Year's Eve in Dogville – this sounds like Stardust with the perfume and champagne One to Tie, Two to Win – this doesn’t seem to fit in with the smokey masculine ones, I guess these dogs are outside chomping on grass and dandelions Pinched With Four Aces – more tobacco along with the dreaded and feared cinnamon Riding the Goat – pipe smoke and incense sounds nice, very exclusive-clubby Sitting Up With a Sick Friend – more tobacco and leather, plus “classic perfume” and rose sounds like it would clash. Stranger In Camp – another outdoors one, but definitely too much wood   In conclusion: I ordered the 3 Monster Baits!
dawndie

dawndie

0
giant squid!
 

thoughts on the Milk Moon update...

So I figured it'd be better for me to ramble about my opinions here. I don't have money to order now, so most likely I'll order Monday. Sad, I know, but I am willing to wait!   MILK MOON 2007 A fertile scent, generous, life-affirming, and swelling with a sense of triumph, warmth, and abundance: sweet milk, golden honey, fig fruit, pomegranate, dates, and white grape.   YES. oh yes. I may even order two bottles. I don't know how this one could go wrong on me because I enjoy every single note listed.   MINOTAUR The Bull of Minos, guardian of the Labyrinth in Knossos. A deep, swarthy black musk dusted by a dark, resinous blend of sacred bisabol myrrh, atramentous benzoin, tsori, balsam, and galbanum.   Sounds good to me. Sometimes black musk can be a bit musty smelling on me, but I think combined with these other notes it should behave itself. I really love myrrh and benzoin, so, bottle!     ++ LIMITED EDITION: SUSPICIENDO DESPICIO TAURUS 2007 Fixed Earth: the essence of possession. Rose, daisy, apple blossom, violet, poppy, columbine, thyme, and mint.   yep. This year I want to collect all of the signs, so of course I am getting a bottle. I love thyme, so I am a happy girl. This may be a locket only weart since rose can go sharp on me, btu that is OK.     ++ LIMITED EDITION: APRIL FOOLS POISSON D'AVRIL Not at all fishy; rather, quite Springy! Innocence spiked with a little bit of foolishness: Lenten rose, crested iris, Virginia bluebell, primrose, moss phlox, blue crocus, daffodil, and dewy tulip with a touch of sugar blossom and honey.   hmmm...I dunno. don't think this scent is for me....but the collector in me waffles. I really love iris, honey and well, sugar but daffodil has gone wrong on me before, and so has phlox. Perhaps I will try to get a decant first, but I am pretty sure this will not smell good on me.     MONSTER BAIT: TOKYO STOMP Beckons all giant creatures from gargantuan reptiles and humongous moths! These babies are sure to crush everything from dollhouses to shopping malls! Can even be used to summon colossal robots in a pinch! A sweet and crisp vanilla mint!   Yes. Sounds perfect. I missed snowblind (that was the other vanilla mint, right?) so I have to try this one!   MONSTER BAIT: VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY Menacing, maniacal, and slick with the one-liners … this guy does it all with a wink and a smile! Savage apricot, depraved dry woods, and psychopathic patchouli covered by a disarmingly sweet mishmosh of caramel, brown sugar, hazelnut, and butterscotch. Be warned: this oil will instigate possession in most puppets, including some marionettes and the occasional finger puppet.   This one seems to be the most promising to me. I love apricot, woods, aptchouli, caramel...hell, I love all of the notes! I am definitely ordering at least a bottle of this.     MONSTER BAIT: BLOODY MARY Why waste time chanting her name in the mirror 13 times? Bedevil your next slumber party the easy way! Chunky, glistening red fruits with sweet cream accord, black clotted cherry, and powdered sugar!   This could be great. I loved Sugar Skull (it's one of my very favorites) but I am not sure about the cherry part of this. Sometimes too much cherry can give me a headache (like in Kabuki). I think I will look for a decant and then decide from there.   and...the dogs This made me smile, a lot. Although most of these seem quite masculine to me. We'll see...   A BACHELOR'S DOG Soft musk, leather, and Brazilian cigar tobacco.   For me, leather + tobacco = headache, so no...   A BOLD BLUFF Cherry tobacco, tonka, and hops.   This one could be quite good. However, I think I am going to wait for the reviews. Again, ti's the cherry scaring me.     HIS STATION AND FOUR ACES Lilac fougere, white musk, and leather accord.   This sounds verrry masculine, in a cologne-y way. That's always been the kind of masculine scent that I can't wear, so I will have to pass.     KELLY POOL Worsted wool, teakwood, and bois du rose.   I think I would like this one. I love teakwood and rosewood as well, so I am probably going to risk it and buy a bottle.     NEW YEAR'S EVE IN DOGVILLE Flirty perfume, dapper cologne, and effervescent champagne.   This one's my favorite painting, but I think the notes would smell quite bad on me...     ONE TO TIE, TWO TO WIN Dewy grass, summer breezes, and dandelion clocks.   This one sounds good. I love anything that says "dewy grasses". bottle.     PINCHED WITH FOUR ACES Colorado Maduro tobacco wrappers, cinnamon bark, coffee bean husk, and dry woods.   annd, this is the one that seems like it has the most enticing notes for me. I was waiting for another coffee scent and here it is! After Priala, I am loving the sound of cinnamon bark, so this is an obvious bottle purchase for me.     RIDING THE GOAT A rich Masonic incense coupled with mahogany wood, ebony, and pipe smoke. The notes in this also seem great. Possible bottle, might just wait it out for reviews for my budget's sake!     SITTING UP WITH A SICK FRIEND Tobacco smoke and leather bowled over by a powerful smack of heady, classic perfume and a whiff of rose water.   No. rose anything plus tobacco and "classic perfume" seems like it would give me a headache.     STRANGER IN CAMP Evergreen, damp grass, woodsmoke, birch bark, cedar, and Terebinth pine.   Seems interesting. I have a tone foresty scents right now so I may try to get a decant of this and/or wait for reviews.     This was a nice update. I like that there were totally different types of scents from the last update, as well. I'm especially happy about Milk Moon and the new coffee scent in the Salon. So...that's that. I think I most likely will split my order in two since it will be big (save the ones that are around longer for later...).   Yay! Ok now it is time to take my icky, greasy self to the shower, so my day can finally get a move on...
euterpe414

euterpe414

0
luckybuzz's Blog
 

What I've got

Not to be confused, of course, with what I want (which is a much larger list).   Stars ***** are scents I really, really like.   Big Bottles I Have (5ml):   Samhain** Beltane Numb     Big Bottles Pending:   Concentration   Imps I Have:   Bastet* Bayou Beltane Bengal Bewitched Come To Me Eclipse** Embalming Fluid Golden Priapus Hamadryad Hanging Gardens Hexannacht High John the Conqueror Lilith Mag Mell O Queen* Roadhouse Rome Sin Snake Oil*** Strangler Fig*** Voodoo** Ulalume Ultraviolet Devil's Night Nemesis Wolf Moon   Imps Pending:   Smut Milk Moon 2007 Monsterbait: Ventriloquist Dummy Wrath Titania Pink Moon Nephilim
luckybuzz

luckybuzz

0
Birdsongs
 

Happy post

... because usually I only feel bloggy when I'm sad. I have to balance things out!   Today I got to wake up in my own bed, with my dog by my feet. I love my friends & really appreciate them giving me refuge when I need it, but even though their couch/bed is comfy & their kittens are cuddly, there's really nothing like waking up at your own pace in your bed with your dog.   Last night I had a long talk with Jason. At first it was all superficial, "what have you been reading" type of talk, then on to the things that are always there underneath (he didn't want to talk about sad things, which was a change - usually I was the one who didn't want to bring up problems we couldn't do anything about ...). That part of the conversation was long & completely unfun, but I guess better than e-mails. There's anger on both sides, and blame, and lots of things we'll never agree on, but also sadness, and an acknowledgement that it's a bad situation, and no one's trying to make it worse out of spite, and neither of us wants to live in constant hostility. I think he has agreed that Sunday, Wednesday, & Thursday, his new girlfriend won't be coming over (he kept saying how they try to be quiet & unobtrusive when they're here, and I said I don't care. It pains me physically & drives me into a swirl of badness just knowing she's in my house, and I can't be here for that. I'm trying to heal & focus on good things, not wallow in pain all the time!).   My friends are all angry for me, and one of them was trying to urge me to embrace my Inner Bitch, who is sadly stifled. I just can't keep anger going that long because I always start thinking of the other person's point of view & losing faith in my absolute rightness & wanting to be conciliatory, and I also believe anger held onto too long curdles into bitterness & just harms yourself instead of the person it's aimed at. I know I could use some more fire in me. but I'm also happy with who I am - a relatively calm & peaceful person most of the time.   In non-angsty news - the next couple of nights should be fun. Tonight my best friends are taking me to see Rent performed in Fort Worth. I liked the movie okay, but it's my friends favorite musical of a world of musicals she loves, and she's extra-happy about showing it to someone for the first time, so that should be a lot of fun. And then tomorrow is my old college friends birthday party, so I'll get to see an entirely different group of friends & relax & be out of the house for a while without going to the friend's house where I've been hanging out so much lately - I love them for taking me in, but worry that I'm being a burden or taking away their time together and they'll get tired of me, so I'm happy when I can see other friends & give them a night off.   Hmm - that's bordering on angsty again, so anyway. I'm also reading a science fiction novel that's picked up pace & gotten quite interesting - Iron Sunrise by Charles Stross. It's been sitting on my to-read pile for a while, and I'm finally getting around to it. I haven't read a good space-opera-thriller thing in a while, and it's exercising all sorts of dormant brain muscles. Lots of good fun on the train ride to work!
spanishviolet

spanishviolet

2
giant squid!
 

medical mishaps

Yep, this is going to be a TMI blog entry but I just had to vent...   So on Sunday I got a yeast infection. Most likely due to being super stressed about my personal life. Yay. Sunday here is when the grocery stores (the ones that would have plain yogurt or vinegar) and pharmacies are closed. So there was no hope for me to attend to it until Monday. That basically sucked, and I felt massively uncomfortable for an entire day. Monday rolled around, and I went to the pharmacy. I explained I had a yeast infection, and of course had a communication snafu where she thought I wanted brewer's yeast (apparently, as I have now learned, a yeast infection is not literally a 'yeast infection' in French but a 'infection of small mushrooms' ew. my dictionary lied to me, lol) Anyhow, once we understood each other, the pharmacist gave me the 1 day treatment, which I knew would not work on me (tried it a year ago and it never helped at all, I always need the 7 day one). I told her that would not work and she insisted that it would and thought that I did not understand that it was medicine for my problem...we argued for a while and I gave up and decided to just give it a try again and if it didn't work I would come back and ask for something else. In short, it did NOT work. I still feel awful and itchy and gross and it is Wednesday. So, I went back to the pharmacy. After a long discussion with the pharmacist, I learned that in fact they do not carry any other type of medicine for this in all of France, and that I would have to visit a doctor to get a prescription for a different type of 1 day treatment. I did not know what to say. I just was filled with anger and frustration. I want to stop itching NOW. At least I got her to give me a numbing agent for the time being, but it's not really working all that well and I still feel like severing my body to get this feeling to go away.   AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!   I went to the grocery a few hours ago and got some vinegar and yogurt. I am going to try to remedy the problem myself. I know I should just go to the doctor, but I honestly to not have the time tomorrow (lots of class) to wait in a line forever and a day just to get a prescription for something I knew I needed in the first place. Why can't they just carry monistat 7? Is that so hard??? So of course, being incredibly pissed off and irrational, I told my mom that she should send me a care package full of boxes of Monistat 7. One can never be too prepared. She laughed and said "of course".   Honestly, sometimes I really hate living here. Now is one of those times. I don't care if that makes me seem like a stupid American or whatnot...I don't expect France to be the same as the US, and I appreciate it for being so different, but sometimes I wish things were a little easier, or more convenient.
euterpe414

euterpe414

0
Diplomatka
 

Going Home

One of the questions I was asked repeatedly before leaving Afghanistan was, “So, are you going home before heading to your new post?” To which I would reply, “I just spent a week in Kazakhstan. That was my break.” Generally, people who don’t know me very well think it is strange that I would take a break from Afghanistan in another Central Asian ‘stan. But this is how it is: I have spent most of my adult life in Kazakhstan and I have family and friends there. Most of what I know and how my adult character has been shaped is due to my time in the former USSR. I can’t bear dirty shoes or wrinkled clothes, bring a gift whenever invited to someone’s house, take my shoes off at the door (and put on slippers) and even last night caught myself sticking a cork under the metal handle of a pot lid. It is more than these habits, though, and this is what sucks about my lifestyle and my line of work: it is the relationships you form with the people you have to leave.   I first came to Kazakhstan with the Peace Corps, just out of grad school. After only three days in-country, with quick and intense Russian lessons, I was handed over to the people with whom I would live for the next three months. Hating children, I had requested to live with a couple about my parent’s age with adult sons. Reihan and Syrail came to pick me up at the sanitorium with their daughter-in-law, Ranosha (who spoke a little English). In a rented Lada, they took me away to my new life in a small village near Talgar. What I remember most about that day was watching my future husband walk off with his Russian host family and wondering when I would see him again.   The next two months were all about acclimating. I spent eight hours a day in Russian lessons, after which, Stas (another Volunteer in my village) and I would drink fortified wine and watch 18-year-old village boys play soccer with their shirts off. Reihan and Syrail treated me like their own daughter: the taught me pidgin Russian, made sure that I was well fed, and built me a shower in the backyard (they only bathed at a neighbor’s banya once a week and they had no running water). They took me to graduation ceremonies and to visit relatives. Syrail told me about how his father died in World War II before he was born and Reihan told me about her childhood emigrating from China with her 10 brothers and sisters. I was the first American they had ever known and they were anxious to tell me all about their people, the Uighurs. For those of you who don’t know (and most of you don’t), Uighurs are an ethnic group who live in the northwest of China in the area bordering Kazakhstan. Because they are Muslim and seek an autonomous state called East Turkestan, they have been persecuted by the Chinese government, labeled terrorists, forcibly sterilized, tortured, and generally experienced all of the other terrible fates that befall minorities in China. (Some of you might recall that there were some Uighurs held in Guantanamo; the US had no further reason to hold them but knew they would be sentenced to death in China, so they sent them to Bulgaria after their release.)   After my initial three months with my new family, I was sent out on my own to live in Siberia. Before I left, Reihan gave me a freshwater pearl necklace which she had gotten from her mother, “I never had a daughter, but if I had, this necklace would have gone to her” she told me, “you are my only daughter.”   I wrote letters to Reihan and Syrail (now “Mama” and “Papa” with the accent on the last syllable) and called them, and of course visited when I traveled to the Southern city of Almaty. When they found out I was getting married, they bugged me about having children, even offering to raise a child for me whom I could visit on the weekends. When I finished my two-year stint in the Peace Corps, leaving Mama and Papa was heartbreaking. As we were all crying and hugging goodbye, I took a petal from one of Mama’s rosebushes in the courtyard for safekeeping, somehow hoping that a small charm would bring me back to them.   It was almost a year before I came back to work in Western Kazakhstan. Then, luckily, was offered a job in Almaty, only 40 minutes from Mama and Papa’s village. For the next two years, I saw them nearly every weekend. Once, my husband was building a fence around our Almaty yard and Papa and one of his sons came to help. A nosy Kazakh (drunken) neighbor ventured over several times asking questions about me and my husband and what we were doing there. “I was in the military in Belarus, where I met the girls’ mother,” Papa told the neighbor about me, “she is my biological daughter, but her mother moved to America right before she was born.”   Nearing the end of my two-years in Almaty, my host father had a heart attack. Mama told me the prognosis was poor; we went to see him in a truly Soviet hospital in Talgar. I remember driving up in the snow in my beige Neva, and walking down the long, dingy hallways. Papa was lounging in the room in a track suit with another patient. He was feeling alright (Mama had not told him what the doctors said) and once assured that he would be OK, I proceeded back down the stairs. On the way down, I heard him tell his roommate, “That was my American daughter”.   During my time in Kazakhstan, their first and second grandsons were born. Abdullam and Rabkhat, now six and four, have known me all of their lives.   When they found out I was leaving once again, they were upset. When they learned I was going to Afghanistan they were just as anxious as my American Mom and Dad. Luckily, there were direct flights from Kabul to Almaty, so I was able to visit three times during my two years in Afghanistan. The last visit was just a few weeks ago, right before coming to Africa. I took a marshrutka (minibus) from the central bus station in Almaty to the village, bearing gifts for everyone and when I got there, Mama was not around. “Where’s Mama?” I asked frantically. “She’s at the hospital, we will go and see her tonight.”   After finishing dinner, and spending time with Abdullam and Rabkhat crawling all over me and vying for attention, my host father broke the news: Mama’s youngest sister, whom I had met several times and visited, had died of a sudden stroke ten days before. Mama had high blood pressure and that is why she was in the hospital. Rustam (the older son) and Papa drove me back to Almaty about 7:00 pm to the hospital. It was a nice place—the Presidential hospital, where Nazerbayev has his own ward—the complete opposite of where Papa had to stay a few years before. Mama was crying and upset when we saw her, putting aside her grief, the first thing she asked me was, “did you eat?”   Mama told me again about her sister, about what a good person she was and how she had saved her whole life (her sister was a surgeon at the Veteran’s Hospital) and was just at the point in her life where she could relax (her first grandchild had just been born) when she died. I realized that it was the stress of her sister dying that put Mama in the hospital. I promised to visit a few days later.   That next Sunday, Stas (the Volunteer from my village, now an old friend who can’t seem to leave Kazakhstan) and I went to see Mama at the hospital. Anyone familiar with the Soviet system will tell you that the hospital stay is TEN DAYS. No more, no less and most people go to the hospital to relax or recover from a cold. Mama was sharing a room with a Russian war veteran and another talkative old lady. After giving me money to buy candy (Mama knows how much I love sweets) she took us around to introduce me to everyone on her hall. “She doesn’t look like you” the talkative old woman said.   Saying goodbye was hard. I knew that I was leaving Asia and I was not sure when I would be back. Even living in Bangkok or Delhi I could fly back to Kazakhstan for a week easily, but my new position in Africa makes visits to Mama and Papa almost untenable. I broke down as soon as we walked out of the hospital. “Come on, let’s go get a beer,” was Stas’ reply.   So this is my Uighur family from Kazakhstan. It’s strange how you can form relationships with people who have such different backgrounds, cultures, and languages, but grow to care about them as much as the people you have known your whole lives. It really sucks when you have to leave, but I am sure I will be back.
Confection

Confection

1
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

More on the home front.

Hey, look everybody! I'm finally updating this thing again!   There has been a lot of Stuff going on at Chez Hobbit; so much so that I hardly know where to begin. I'm just going to pick a spot and go.   My Dear Grad Student, D., made the drive down for Spring Break with Maggie-dog, and it was good. A little awkward, in some ways; he was staying with his parents, which meant that I was as well. (I have a very small place and a housemate, plus two elderly cats and the ferret; adding another human and a large dog with knee problems who isn't used to two flights of stairs would have been utter insanity.) In fact, when he asked them if they would mind having me over for a night or two, they had already anticipated the possibility, so it turned into them seeing my bleary smiling face every morning all week. At some point, they were going to learn that I am not a Morning Person, so it was probably good to get it out of the way.   I'm not sure that D's parents were quite prepared for just how solid our relationship is, but again -- they were going to see it at some point, and if they have any reservations about my presence in his life, they had plenty of opportunity to bring it up. All in all, I don't have any worries on that front.   While D was here, he got word from CU. They want him. They really want him. Needless to say, the acceptance letter for their offer has been sent, along with the properly regretful "thank you for your interest in me" letters to the other schools. D is coming Home in August, and while the situation with Minnesota remains bittersweet, I think that things are going to be okay in that respect as well. D has been homesick beyond the telling of it. Although that isn't the best reason for choice of a PhD program, they did make him a good enough offer to tip the scales, and he was really impressed with the way that the program has come together in the past couple of years. Next up: house-hunting.   Saying good-bye gets harder and harder every time we have to do it, and this time was no exception. The only bonus is that we now know that there is a finite number of times that it's going to happen again. May, for D's graduation, and probably a mid-summer trip.   Speaking of May, both D and the Housemate are trying to convince me to fly instead of drive; I'm still torn on the idea. It isn't just graduation; I'm also going to Florida on that same trip for my chosen sister's museum exhibit opening, and I'll want to spend some time with my mom and birth-sister as well. I haven't been convinced that flights, extra suitcase charges, and a rental car will be any less expensive than gas and motels; plus having my own car gives me an escape route if Mom and I should have a major disagreement over some of the things I'm going to discuss with her while I'm there. On the other hand, airport shuttles do make residential pick-ups, and flight reservations can be changed, if you're willing to pony up the cash. It just takes more time to do so than packing a car. Decisions, decisions.   This week in particular has been hard; I found out a week ago today that a friend went in for what was supposed to be a routine surgery and didn't come out. Gabriel's heart stopped while he was under, and the doctors couldn't resuscitate him.   People are still reeling from the news. A bunch of us spontaneously converged on the local hangout the night that word got out. Everyone, including me, kept looking at the front door of the Cafe, waiting for Gabriel to walk in ...even though we all knew that it wasn't going to happen.   I had more beer than food, and I wasn't the only one in that state, either. Maybe I was betraying my Irish roots by sticking to Newcastle, but the Cafe doesn't have Harp or Smithwick's on tap, and doesn't carry Beamish at all. I don't drink all that much, despite having the alcohol tolerance of Bacchus, and I lost count of the pints I was downing. I have this vision of the brewery staff at Newcastle solemnly hanging my photograph in the lobby.   I had to break the news to the Grad Student that same day. Before I started abusing my liver. I didn't want him to just stumble over it like a trip wire, and the news was all over our friends' assorted blogs. I still feel bad about adding to his already crappy day, but he was glad to hear it from me instead of someone -- or somewhere -- else. Gabriel was his friend as well, and I know that it hit D hard. He said "Gabe and Vanessa should have been sitting in the corner at our housewarming party, making snarky comments." And I feel doubly bad that I wasn't physically there with D, doing what I could to make things easier.   It still doesn't seem real.   I told a friend at the first gathering that, were I Jewish or particularly religious, I would say that the world is short by one of the tzadikim; being neither, I was still saying it. She replied that she is Jewish, and she agrees with me entirely.   Gabe's memorial was Friday at the Cafe; it was entirely appropriate, as he spent more time there than in his apartment. The organizers wanted it to be a celebration of his life rather than focusing on his loss, and I think that we managed for the most part. People got up to tell stories and reminisce. I didn't know if I was going to speak or not, but in the end, I did. I got the final word, so to speak, when Rachel handed me the microphone. I kept it short, commenting that Gabriel Wisdom was the most aptly named person that any of us are ever likely to meet, and summed it up with two lines from my favorite Dylan Thomas poem: Though lovers be lost, love shall not. And Death shall have no dominion. Just to bring the suckage full circle, tomorrow (okay, today, March 28th) is the 1 year anniversary of my Granddad's death. I can already tell that I'm either going to be wildly productive, or a complete basket case; it depends on how well I can manage to keep myself distracted. Granddad will never get to meet Daniel, nor see how happy I am with him. Daniel will never get to shake Granddad's hand, or tell him how much he loves me. It hurts almost as much as it did a year ago, knowing these things. While the part of me that still has faith that this world is not the end tells me that Granddad already knows and approves, we still won't get to see it, and that makes a difference.   I wish that I could end this on a cheerier note, but I'm just not in that state of mind right now. I'm really looking forward to D's call this evening.
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

2
jazlyn's blog.....
 

non-BPAL/BPTP fragrances tried

A separate list for non-BPAL/BPTP fragrances because when they were combined, it was too long to scroll through! A few of these were extras in swap packages; the others are scents that I swapped for to try or tried on my own.   Alternative Breeding Vital Signs     Arcana Soaps Ambrosia Breakfast in Hollywood Pomegranate     Atropa's Cottage Aries     Ava Luxe Viva     Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Ecucalyptus Spearmint Relax soothing pillow mist Japanese Cherry Blossom body mist     Bathed & Infused Cherry Blossom perfume Kir Royale body mist     The Body Shop Fuzzy Peach perfume oil     The Coconut Hut Coconut & Pear tiki roll on Hawaiin Luau tiki roll on     Dawn Spencer Hurwitz Feuilles     Demeter Pomegranate     Fyrinnae Fruit Juicy Melon Mango Lemon Pineapple Ginger Pomegranate Raspberry Swirl Tiki Vanilla Berry   Japanese Collection Gothic Aristocrat Rising Sun   Sweets Pumpkin Pie   Traditional & Holiday Scents All Hallow's Eve   Traditional Feminine Scents Layla     Heaven & Earth Essentials White Cat     Isle of Eden Kiwi Breezer (discontinued scent?) Strawberry Mango Daiquiri (disc.?) Tropical Champagne (disc.?)     Possets Lavender Water Les Espices Lavender Water Les Fleurs Silver Roses Ultramarine Blue     Victoria's Secret Pure Seduction body mist <3     Zents Citrus (discontinued?) Mandarin Sun     Brand Name/Commercial Fragrances Burberry - Tender Touch Women Chanel - Chance (the perfume I wore 'before BPAL') Christian Dior - Miss Dior Cherie Clinique - Happy Dolce & Gabbana: - Feminine - Light Blue - Sicily Estee Lauder - Pleasures Fresh: - Bergamot Citrus - Hesperides - Lemon Sugar - Memoirs of a Geisha - Pink Jasmine - Pomegranate Anise - Sake - Sugar Blossom - Sugar Lychee - Tangerine Lychee Giorgio Armani - Sensi Givenchy: - Ange ou Demon (I think I like!) - Hot Couture Gucci: - Envy Me - Rush 2 (may like this one!) Isabella Rossellini - Manifesto Juicy Couture - Juicy Couture Marc Jacobs - Essence Origins: - Ginger Essence sensuous skin scent - Ginger with a Twist sparkling body cocktail Salvatore Ferragamo - F by Ferragamo
jazlyn

jazlyn

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

Quickie

I am still undecided. I want this quarter to be a really good one! I don't want to regret not taking precalc. Um. That's about it. Hope you're all doing well!
smallvoice

smallvoice

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