Blogs

Some shallowness

So, yesterday, one of the many people snapping zillions of pictures at my wedding brought over a collage style picture frame with the pictures in question in it... and it was sobering to see myself in a picture. Like, embarrassing. To the point where I've had enough. Eating habits must change this summer. Workouts must be performed regularly in the fall. I may be so drastic as to join a gym. I am tired of ze flab. It will be eradicated. I'm just not sure how I'll do this. It's all well and good to look at the pictures and resolve not to do it anymore, but I've got a serious addiction to combat. One day at a time? Should I try a twelve step program? Should I just cut it out of my life, cold turkey? I really felt like I looked great at my wedding, but to see the photographs... appalling.

June 28, 2006

Wedding Planning Pictures

Since my brain is completely tuned to everything weddings, I thought I would post some pictures of the stuff for my upcoming wedding. Our engagement picture Pictures of my dress! My cake topper My University of Michigan garter My guest book The label I made to put on our bubbles My invitations This is what my flowers will look like The start of my centerpieces My favors

Fishnets and Frankincense

June 27, 2006

In an Ani mood

Yeah, I read the Bronte sisters and Thomas Hardy, and I like to quote poetry every now and then, but I also listen to Ani DiFranco and I'm in an Ani mood these days. Not that Ani isn't poetic, in her own 20th/21st century way. And anyone who started their own recording label called Righteous Babe Records has to be alright. Right now I'm listening to the "reckoning" disc of the "Reveling/Reckoning" double CD set. I was driving around last night singing along to "So What" and I looked over at the car in the lane next to me, and there was a teenaged girl, singing and doing upper body dancing as she drove. I thought, damn it, I miss the surly grunger days. In the town that I live in, there's way too many perky teenagers, but I was in suburbia and the closer I get to downtown, the closer I come to finding surly youth. However, a lot of them tend to sit around outside coffee houses and sing folk songs with people closer to my age, and I find it rather confusing. Back to Ani. A few years ago in "Jazziz" magazine, in response to the question "What is your guilty pleasure?" Ani replied: "FUCK GUILT." That was my New Year's resolution that year. It worked. (I wasn't raised as a Catholic, so maybe it was easier for me.) Then a year later, I did a spin on that and made my New Year's resolution "FUCK 'WHAT-IF'S.'" I realized late last week just how well that one took, because I spent some time around someone who was spinning "what-if" scenarios, that to me, were no more than fantasies about something that was painfully impossible. I realized how I simply never go there, or if I do, I pull myself back. (Hell, I don't even fantasize about Bob Schneider, and that would be a sweet diversion!) But as a result, I have a bit more of an Ani DiFranco attitude, which is to jam reality right back in my face. It makes for an interesting life, I'm not missing as much, except for when I'm so sulky that I'm not really paying attention. Better to be looking around than your head in the clouds or up your ass, right? But even then, almost in spite of everything I've said above, I'm still a romantic. I've yet to figure that one out.

valentina

June 27, 2006

Diplomatka

A Public Apology

To the Diners at the Mac Restaurant, White Sands Beach, Koh Chang, Trat Province, Thailand: I am writing to apologize for the involuntary act I perpetrated at 8:30pm, Thursday, June 22, 2006. If I had been given a choice, I would not have projectile vomited without notice in front of at least twenty individuals who were enjoying their dinners, facing the sea, when I walked across their field of vision, yakked, and then kept on going without pause. Yes, it was rude; but I maintain that I had no control at that point and I thought that I was safe to walk the few hundred meters back to my bungalow as I had vomited less than 90 seconds earlier behind a palm tree at the Lagoon restaurant (adjacent to the Mac). No, I was not drunk. I had consumed less than half of a (small) Singha that evening. Also, I had not overeaten, as I had only taken two bites of my red curry vegetables before the obscene event took place (which was done just to appease my husband who was offended that I ordered food which I had no intention of eating). I blame the amount of sun I had been exposed to that day; while living in Afghanistan I rarely have the chance to run around bare-assed naked all the time, everywhere, so my body was not able to process the copious amounts of Vitamin D in my system. In sum, I am sorry for ruining your meals. I hope this incident was not the worst of your vacation. Sincerely, Confection P.S. Confidential to the lady who said “revolting” as I shuffled past: fuck off.

Confection

June 27, 2006

Gone Batty

Ink part 2

Yesterday I went in for the next stage of my tattoo. This session was color, shading, and reworking my old tattoo to make it part of the new design. I'd been pretty psyched all week for my appointment but Sunday morning I was feeling some trepidation. Maybe it was because the feeling of the needle was still fresh in my mind or maybe it was something non-tattoo related but I was not in a good mindset for tattooing when I got to the shop. Outlining the old ink wasn't so bad but it seemed harder for me to adjust to the pain. It was especially intense when the artist started shading in the areas around the old design to join it with the new. It seemed to go on and on and I could swear that all my skin was gone and she was working directly on the bone. The odd thing was there were some parts that hurt so much I thought I'd start crying and others two milimeters away that felt like nothing. I'm guessing this was different because I've never had much more than an outline and extensive shading was a whole new kettle of fish (not to mention more needles). I didn't cry and in fact I hardly made more than one or two exclamations the whole session but inside I felt like I wasn't handling it was well. It seemed much more mentally taxing than physically. I had scheduled three hours but at the two and a half mark I had reached my limit. I could feel my instincts making me want to shrink from the needle and felt that it was probably a good time to stop. It seemed to me like I was wussing out...like I hadn't accomplished what needed to be done. She'd hardly started to use color - just a bit of dark blue in some areas - when I said 'uncle'. It wasn't until I looked in the mirror and saw that most of the work was on my old tattoo and now it looked crisp and dark and brand new (and, really, I guess it was). The whole bottom of the design had a new intensity from the dark accents. It looked amazing. My next appointment is almost a month away but I think that's a good thing. It will give me time to heal and adjust and prepare myself for the next stage. I'm truly amazed at anyone who can sit for hours under the needle. Maybe someday I can work up to that but for now I need to take small steps.

miss apple

June 26, 2006

Bridezilla

I think I'm becoming a Bridezilla I keep having wedding related breakdowns, and I just want it to stop! I snapped at Todd last night, and freaked out when he said that he oops'ed and didn't put a stamp on one of the response cards (I thought he had said 'some'). I really stressed out... there isn't enough time to relax or veg, and since my in-laws are coming to visit over the 4th, I won't have any days off until Labor Day. I had been looking forward to the 4th, but now I'm not. Originally I had hoped to do all the invitations during the two days we have off, but now I have to be the hostess with the mostess for my in-laws. It makes me tired and crabby just thinking about it.

June 26, 2006

An interlude

"For the duration of your mortal lives" That bothers me more than "till death do you part." I'll continue the full account, but I wanted to write about this now. As I mentioned previously, I was raised primarily in the LDS church. One thing the church really hammers home is the importance of eternal families. Eternal families are formed through sacred covenants made in a temple wedding ceremony- the couple is sealed in the temple, as the phrase goes. (Not literally.) Anyone who marries outside the temple, provided they are given ample opportunity in this life to do so, will not be able to remain with their spouse beyond death. Despite my doubts about my devotion to christianity as a whole, this really scares me. I don't know that we will have a lot of time together on this earth, so what if it really is true? This must sound ridiculous or lofty or something, but... I just love him so much. I don't want to spend eternity knowing I could've been with him, but my choices made it so I can't. With "til death do you part," it was easier to reassure myself that a mortal death doesn't kill the soul- thus, there is no death. "For the duration of your mortal lives" is pretty freaking straightforward. There's no room for interpretation there. It's like an expiration date has been stamped on our marriage, and the silly thing is that I don't even know if I believe that. I know I shouldn't. I know that no just God would sentence me to hell for not getting married in the temple- and, while the LDS religion doesn't teach that people who aren't married in the temple will go to hell (just a lower degree of heaven), eternity without him would be hell for me, no matter how nice the accomodations. It makes me afraid of losing him. I shouldn't be obsessing over this; I know. I just can't help it.

Fishnets and Frankincense

June 26, 2006

Sourball Ho!

Obsolete Technology

We recently spent some money fixing a couple of broken components -- we debated about whether it was worth it, and decided the repairs were cheap enough compared to buying something new. We have to laugh, though, at how we ended up with the latest in 1990s technology, among other decades: --one repair was the minidisc recorder. Minidiscs were a Sony-only product when CD recorders were still prohibitively expensive. Sony did release albums on minidisc (Simon & Garfunkel, etc.) but these weren't in the US very long, they were more popular in Japan, and it was only Sony/Columbia artists. The best part was recording whatever onto blank minidiscs, like concerts off TV --the other repair was our combo CD/DVD/Laserdisc player. Laserdiscs started in the early 1980s, the precursor to DVDs except record-size instead of CD-size. We have about 100 laserdiscs and it's nice to have one player hooked up to our big TV that plays laserdiscs and DVDs --of course we have a couple of record players, with a couple of boxes of records. We have a Victrola from probably the 1940s, it's a record player in a nice wooden case with an AM radio with tubes. It needs a needle though, and I have no idea where to get one --we have a couple big boxes of cassettes, boxes of videotapes, a wall of CDs (600? I haven't counted recently), the DVDs are overtaking another set of shelves, and don't get me started on the books What are we supposed to do with all this stuff? It seems passe now to have "hard copies" of things -- you're supposed to buy your iPod and download everything. So are we just dinosaurs for keeping all this?

dawndie

June 26, 2006

captain diana's log

Fiddledragon Imp Pack #2

Omen: Wet: Earthy, powdery patchouli. It almost smells like there is amber in it. Drydown: Still earthy, but a slight resiny sweetness in the basenote. Nice slightly dirty, dark scent, with just a hint of a soft powdery edge to it. I don't know why I thought I didn't like this. I've had an imp forever, and now that I've had it on for a while, I really like it. This is dark, deep, mysterious scent love. It reminds me a bit of Odin, FWIW. Ultraviolet: Wet: Candied eucalyptus. Medicinal in that "vicks vapo'rub" kind of way, but with a sweetness to it. Drydown: Minty violets--the mint replaces the eucalyptus, and the violets come out more strongly. The neroli adds a weird quality to the scent, keeping it from being as sweet, but it doesn't very long. this smells a lot like C. Howards violet candies, with just a touch of mint. This is really nice. I love sweet violet scents, and I think this will be awesome for summer. Nocnitsa: Wet: sappy, piney fir trees and sweet wood notes Drydown: the pine notes remind me a lot of Skadi & Snow Bunny. As it dries, a really nice, sweet fragrance comes out, almost berry-like. A bit later, it smells almost like berry incense and sweet pine. Wow. I'm in love with this blend! The Raven: Wet: violets + perfumey iris notes Drydown: The violets actually manage to stay stronger than the iris. I have avoided a lot of iris blends because it tends to amp up, become insanely perfumey, and drown out all other notes. After a bit, the musk kicks in and lends a fresh-skin note to the blend, which ends up smelling like I had a recent shower & used a violet shower gel. Very soft & pretty! Pele: Wet: tropical flowers + suntan lotion Drydown: soft, exotic floral bouquet. Still reminds me of suntan lotion, but in my mind that's a good thing. This is so not really me, but I'm finding myself in love with the scent. It becomes a little less "coppertone" and more floral, but the flowers are just so wet and sweet and intoxicating, I can't stop sniffing my arm. It's so pretty! I really want to go to a beach, slather myself with this, dig my toes into the sand, and watch the waves roll in. Black Lotus: wet: lotus (bubblegum!), very sweet! drydown: The lotus picks up a spicy tang from the amber & sandalwood... an unusual scent. After a bit more time, this becomes predominately more wood/resin, but it retains some of the original sweetness from the lotus. It reminds me of a lighter version of Khajahuro (or however you spell that), without the champaca flowers. I'm really surprised by this. Somehow I've never really tried any of the lotus scents, and I didn't know what to expect. I like the sweetness and the soft floral aspect, mixed with the beautiful resin notes that I often fall for. Tushnamatay: Wet: sweet, sandalwoody blend Drydown: This smells a lot like blend of sweet, almost honeyed (Egyptian?) musk and sandalwood. Why have I gone this long without really trying this blend? Wow. It's a clean, light, fresh scent. The sandalwood is really light, and pretty, without the usual woodsy-spice note to it (which I do like), which just blends so wonderfully with the other mystery notes. I can't really say anything more, other than to repeat "wow" about 76576 times. It's a bit lighter than scents I usually would wear, but it's just so beautiful! Pride: Wet: ROSE. something plasticky in the background Drydown: The roses are pretty sharp, and the plastic note is still there, but I don't know if it's the narcissus or the roses. Usually BPAL rose blends work pretty well on me. After a bit, the plastic note dissipates, and this is a rose-rose-rose blend. It smells a lot like tea roses, and it stays a bit sharp. I don't dislike it, but I think I like some of the more complex rose blends a bit better. It is pretty, and if you're a rose lover, you should check it out. Forbidden Fruit: Wet: Fruity... bandaids? No, wait, it's bubblegum + fruit. Drydown: I'm trying to convince myself I don't like this, but every time I take a sniff, I can't be so sure. After a little while, some of the floral notes come out, which are soft & sweet, and there is just a tiny bit of a hint of a resin basenote, that warm, spicy nose-love. There's a wee sharp note of citrus, but it's fairly faint. It keeps getting better the longer it sits on my skin. It's mostly a sweet floral at this stage, and it's really growing on me (WHO AM I??). Later still, the florals pick up a slightly artificial smell. I can't really explain what it is, or name a specific component that could be a culprit. It's an almost "green" note that is kind of throwing it off for me. However, it's mostly undetectable unless I stick my nose right up against my skin. Still, it's not a bad scent. I don't know if I'll need a 5mL right this minute, but it's one to contemplate for later.

Diana

June 26, 2006

Denise's Cool Blog

Orders Received/My Reviews!

Orders Received: * belladonna 4/28 (from pink.owl) * delirium 4/28 (from pink.owl) * juliet 4/28 (from pink.owl) * la belle au bois dormant 4/28 (from pink.owl) * lolita 4/28 (from pink.owl) * undertow 4/28 (from pink.owl) * embalming fluid 4/28 (from pink.owl) ligeia 5/01 (from aedes) cordelia 5/01 (from aedes) endymion 5/01 (from aedes) * amsterdam 5/01 (from aedes) * dirty 5/08 from ayelienne persephone 5/08 from ayelienne thaleia 5/08 from ayelienne ultraviolet 5/08 from ayelienne * delirium 5/08 from ayelienne * yuletide (frimp!) 5/08 from ayelienne bayou 5/13 from jejunery catherine 5/13 from jejunery eos 5/13 from jejunery titania (frimp!) 5/13 from jejunery rosalind 5/15 from aidenraine fae 5/15 from aidenraine black dahlia 5/15 from aidenraine Beltane 05 (5ml) 5/15 from Beatrice33 neo-tokyo 5/152 from Beatrice33 white rabbit 5/15 from Beatrice33 tarot: the world 5/15 from Beatrice33 empyreal mist 5/15 from Beatrice33 *dirty dirty 5ml 5/15 from caramialove ahathoor (frimp!) 5/15 from caramialove le serpent qui danse (frimp!) 5/15 from caramialove titus andronicus (frimp!) 5/15 from caramialove rose red 5/16 from ancilla migo brain canister 5/16 from ancilla black dahlia black dahlia 5/16 from ancilla holiday moon 5/16 from ancilla annabel lee 5/18 from Caltha new orleans 5/18 from Caltha yerevan 5/18 from Caltha FROM the NJ MEET & SNIFF 5/20/06: * Bearded Lady 5ml from Rheliwen Usher from Rheliwen Aglaea from Rheliwen Polyhymnia from Rheliwen migo brain canister 5ml from RHM Sea of Glass (5ml split with Hennafairy) from RHM Megeara from RHM Ophelia from RHM Kumiho from RHM London from RHM Glasgow from RHM * The Hesperides (5ml split with Hennafairy) from Joseybird Annabel Lee 5ml from Joseybird * Enraged Bunny Musk 5ml from Joseybird * Snow White from Joseybird Lurid from Cupid430 Queen of Hearts from Cupid430 Wilde from Cupid430 * embalming fluid from beetiger Zephyr from beetiger The Perfumed Garden from HennaFairy Talvikuu from HennaFairy Dia De Los Muertos '04 from HennaFairy Dana O'Shee from HennaFairy * embalming fluid 5ml 5/31 from Chouchen Frumious Bandersnatch 5ml (1 yummy imp left) 5/31 from Chouchen Moon Rose (frimp!) 5/31 from Chouchen The City in the Sea 5/31 SWAP from ReedSong empyreal mist 5/31 SWAP from ReedSong * Peacock Queen SNIFFIE 5/31 SWAP from ReedSong Peony Moon SNIFFIE 5/31 SWAP from ReedSong Sea of Glass 5ml 6/02from purplegirl * Snow White 5ml 6/02 from purplegirl endymion (frimp!) 6/02 from purplegirl MidWinter's Eve 6/02 from HennaFairy Berenice 5ml 5/30 FROM EBAY suspiro (frimp!) 5/30 FROM EBAY empyreal mist 5ml 06/05 from Hayet * Snow White 5ml 06/05 from Hayet * Peacock Queen 5ml 6/07 from zenvodunista Lampades (frimp!) 6/07 from zenvodunista Utrennyaya 6/08 SWAP from ReedSong Brisingamen 6/08 SWAP from ReedSong Libertine 6/08 SWAP from ReedSong gingerbread poppet 6/09 from maewitch trick or treat 6/09 from maewitch la fee verte6/09 from maewitch 2, 5, & 7 (frimp!) 6/09 from maewitch Blessing of Isis (TAL decant) 6/09 from SevenSins Attuning (TAL decant) 6/09 from SevenSins Freak Show 6/09 from SevenSins baneberry (frimp!) 6/09 from SevenSins white rabbit 6/10 from allidavie * the dormouse 6/10 from allidavie elegba 6/10 from allidavie * tempest 6/10 from allidavie baron samedi 6/10 from allidavie hell's belle 6/10 from allidavie tiphareth 6/10 from allidavie hemlock 6/10 from allidavie Virgo 6/10 SWAP from cybra111 antony 6/12 from Beatrice33 * aizen myoo 6/12 from Beatrice33 blood kiss 6/12 from Beatrice33 crossroads 6/12 from Beatrice33 * dracul 6/12 from Beatrice33 endymion 6/12 from Beatrice33 hamadryad 6/12 from Beatrice33 hellcat 6/12 from Beatrice33 kitsune-tsuki 6/12 from Beatrice33 kyoto 6/12 from Beatrice33 tamora 6/12 from Beatrice33 tweedledee 6/12 from Beatrice33 dublin 6/12 (in return for help with Ebay from curvy_divine at LJ!) forbidden fruit 6/12 (in return for help with Ebay from curvy_divine at LJ!) tamora 6/12 (in return for help with Ebay from curvy_divine at LJ!) *the dormouse 6/15 SWAP from neuilly namaste 6/15 SWAP from neuilly Al-Araaf 5ml (partial) 6/10 from malabar on LJ! * Evening Star 5ml (partial) 6/10 from malabar on LJ! Cairo 6/10 from malabaron LJ! Euphrosyne 6/10 from malabaron LJ! Kurukulla 6/10 from malabar on LJ! Mock Turtle's Lessons 6/10 from malabar on LJ! Saturnalia 6/10 from malabar on LJ! 13 '06 6/10 from malabar on LJ! MidWinter's Eve 5ml empty 6/19 from bristlecone on LJ! Fruit Moon 5ml 6/19 from shinysparkly on LJ! Banshee 6/19 SWAP from ewalk the Raven 6/19 SWAP from ewalk * shattered 6/19 SWAP from ewalk * snowblind 6/20 SWAP from dpoulsen21 Concentration (TAL) (frimp!) 6/20 SWAP from dpoulsen21 freakshow (frimp!) 6/20 SWAP from dpoulsen21 thunderbird sniffie (frimp!)6/20 SWAP from dpoulsen21 stardust 6/20 from Blood onmy hands queen of clubs 6/20 from Blood onmy hands * beaver moon 6/20 from Blood onmy hands * lump of coal 6/20 from Blood onmy hands phantom queen 6/20 from Blood onmy hands shroud 6/20 from Blood onmy hands chuparosa 6/20 SWAP from bagfish the apothecary 6/20 SWAP from bagfish Xiuhtecuhtli 6/20 SWAP from bagfish glitter 6/21 from heartbreakangel on LJ bon vivant 6/21 from heartbreakangel on LJ pink moon 5ml 6/21from heartbreakangel on LJ pink phoenix 5ml 6/18 from angharad sundew 6/18 from angharad * honeysuckle SN 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ * snow angel 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ sudha segara 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ shub-niggurath (sniffie!) 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ storm moon (sniffie!) 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ snake charmer (sniffie!) 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ dragon's milk (sniffie!) 6/22 from caitygrl96 on LJ Tulzcha 5ml 6/22 from blueroses eve (frimp!) 6/22 from blueroses the hanging gardens (frimp!) 6/22 from blueroses spirits of the dead partial 5ml 6/22 from Juniperus Intrepidus beatrice 6/22 from Juniperus Intrepidus twenty-one 6/22 from Juniperus Intrepidus numb 6/22 from Juniperus Intrepidus hurricane 6/22 from Juniperus Intrepidus the caterpillar 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ yew trees 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ frumious bandersnatch 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ bengal 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ * macchu pichu 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ baobhan sith 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ chimera 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ olokun 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ fallen (frimp!) 6/22 from edenssixthday on LJ house of night 6/23 SWAP from Aredhel envy 6/23 SWAP from Aredhel 2, 5, & 7 5ml 6/24 from darkwitch72 on LJ ulalume (frimp!) 6/24 from darkwitch72 on LJ ravenous (frimp!) 6/24 from darkwitch72 on LJ * june gloom 6/26 from caitygrl96 on LJ gypsy queen 6/26 from moonmouse devil's night 6/26 from moonmouse monster bait: closet 6/26 from moonmouse tigerlily 5ml 6/26 from oceandreamer001 kitsune-tsuki 5ml 6/26 from Chouchen chiroptera 6/26 from Chouchen Tenochititlan sniffie 6/26 from Chouchen harvest moon 5ml (imp left) 6/17 from liquidxcrack on LJ beltane '05 6/17 from liquidxcrack on LJ stardust 5ml (empty) 6/17 from liquidxcrack on LJ * queen of diamonds 6/27 from caitygrl96 on LJ dormouse (frimp!) 6/27 from caitygrl96 on LJ kurukulla (frimp!) 6/27 from caitygrl96 on LJ mouse's long sad tale sniffie (frimp!) 6/27 from caitygrl96 on LJ sun shaped hanging smelly fun 6/28 from freyas_fire on LJ amsterdam (frimp!) 6/28 from freyas_fire on LJ juke joint (frimp!) 6/28 from freyas_fire on LJ 36 x pipettes 6/29 from roostergrrl on LJ 100 small baggies 6/29 from roostergrrl on LJ * shattered 6/29 FROM BPAL * bess 6/29 FROM BPAL * cathode 6/29 FROM BPAL * la bella donna della mia mente 6/29 FROM BPAL * swank 6/29 FROM BPAL * tempest 6/29 FROM BPAL * shanghai 6/29 FROM BPAL * juliet 6/29 FROM BPAL * tigerlily 6/29 FROM BPAL * the unicorn 6/29 FROM BPAL * szepasszony 6/29 FROM BPAL * the hanging gardens 6/29 FROM BPAL (SHIPPING 6/26) Ligeia 5ml 6/29 FROM BPAL * La Belle au Bois Dormant 5ml 6/29 FROM BPAL mistletoe 7/01 from blood onmy hands eat me 7/01 from blood onmy hands tweedledum 7/01 from blood onmy hands three witches 7/01 from blood onmy hands fee 5ml 7/01 from gingersnapp mouse's long & sad tale 7/01 from blackheartedangel amsterdam 7/01 from blackheartedangel mata hari 7/01 from blackheartedangel katharina 7/01 from blackheartedangel corazon (sniffie) 7/01 from blackheartedangel caps to sniff: dreamland, antique lace, morguase, black opal 7/01 from blackheartedangel snow white '05 7/01 SWAP from one LJ FROM the NJ MINI MEET & SNIFF 7/02/06: dorian 7/02 from melantha montresor 5ml 7/02 from hennafairy morella 5ml 7/02 from hennafairy fortunato 5ml 7/02 from hennafairy leanan sidhe 5ml (empty) 7/02 from hennafairy harvest moon 7/02 from hennafairy storm moon 7/02 from hennafairy budding moon 7/02 from hennafairy peony moon 7/02 from hennafairy severin 7/02 from hennafairy endymion 7/02 from hennafairy sudha segara 7/02 from hennafairy mock turtle's lessons 7/02 from hennafairy lady of shallot 7/02 from hennafairy phantasm 7/02 from hennafairy * Evening Star 5ml 7/03 SWAP from 1demondog jack 7/03 SWAP from 1demondog belle epoque 7/03 SWAP from 1demondog hymn to prosperpine 7/03 SWAP from 1demondog peony moon 5ml (empty) 7/03 from crescentwitch on LJ montresor 5ml (empty) 7/03 from crescentwitch on LJ neptune 5ml (empty) 7/03 from crescentwitch on LJ bead of nails (frimp!) 7/03 from crescentwitch on LJ devil's night 5ml 7/03 from cool_chick on LJ carnivale (frimp!) 7/03from cool_chick on LJ the bow & crown of conquest (frimp!) 7/03 from cool_chick on LJ spirits of the dead 7/03 SWAP from reedsong thunderbird 7/03 SWAP from reedsong astral travel (TAL) 7/03 SWAP from reedsong voodoo queen sniffie 7/03 SWAP from reedsong queen of diamonds 5ml 7/05 SWAP from spinallandscape on LJ whipoorwhill 7/05 SWAP from spinallandscape on LJ fee 7/05 SWAP from spinallandscape on LJ evening star 7/05 SWAP from spinallandscape on LJ jack 7/05 SWAP from celogirl shadow with orchid 7/05 SWAP from celogirl bliss 7/05 SWAP from celogirl gluttony 7/05 SWAP from tess * dracul 7/05 SWAP from tess bordello 7/05 SWAP from ldyknight Kuang Shi 7/05 SWAP from ldyknight

eviltemptressdq

June 25, 2006

Blame it on Emily and Charlotte!

I sit here on a late Sunday morning, with my cockatiel, Herb D. Byrd, sitting on my shoulder, doing his imitation of someone dialing a cordless phone: beep, beep, beep... He can also do a killer imitation of the phone ringing and then the answering machine going off, then the beep at the end of a message. He is a little character. On Friday, the postman delivered a bottle of Dorian that I won on eBay last week! The seller charged me $5 for shipping, which seemed a bit high, but then I realized that she lives in Canada and she it airmailed to me. Bless her. I also bought a bottle of Dorian on the forum three weeks ago, and unless something changes soon, I think I've been swaplifted. I'm giving the seller one more chance to write back to me/send me the bottle and then I file a report with the mods. I'm more than willing to consider that it could have been lost or stolen by the USPS, but the seller's lack of a response to my PM makes me wonder what's happening. I've never had that happen before on the forum, and by and large, most people selling and swapping are incredibly nice and generous. Anyway, the aroma of Dorian has some sort of effect upon me that I find hard to describe. It involves associations, and scents and music are my two major emotional associations. I love, love, love the smell of Smut and O and Urd and Underpants and Khajurajo, but Dorian almost makes me cry. I get over it after a while, but the first sniff gets me every time. But I love it, I want to wear it, and I think the emotional rush that it gives me is a cathartic thing I'm going through at this time. However, when I did wear it (when all I had was an imp), I had a couple of my male "noses" sniff it and they both responded with a dazed, wide-eyed "you smell so....incredible." Smut gets a vaguely drooly "ohmygodyousmellgood," Underpants and O gets the "yeah, that is nice," but Dorian, I think, has magic dust in it. I think it's the scent that Beth made for her beloved Ted, so maybe in a "Like Water For Chocolate" way, it reflects how she felt when she created it. My, I'm romantic this morning. Like I said, music also creates some circuit-jamming emotional associations for me. I was at a wedding and reception last night, and weddings don't do that for me. I never cry at weddings. But at the reception, once the endless tape loop of Michael Buble music ended (he gets REALLY tiresome after 2 hours) and the lovely-dovey dance music was tuned on, I was somewhat relieved, if only for a change of pace. I was sitting there watching the bride and groom dance the first dance, thinking how sweet and cute they looked. And it was rather odd, no one else was watching. The parents were too busy being tense (bride's mom and dad are bitterly divorced, groom's dad had a lot to drink by that point), and the wedding party was utterly blitzed. Everyone else was eating, drinking and talking. I was glad that I gave that little moment of theirs my attention. I hope they never forget that they once were like that. But then some country rock song came up on the rotation, and while I normally detest country rock, this song gets to me. I can't even tell you the name of the song, but it almost made me cry. I thought, well shit, I could sit here and sniff the inside of my elbow, get a big hit of Dorian, and just start sobbing, right here in the middle of the reception. I didn't. It was an open bar, and I got another drink and disassociated for a while. I hate to disassociate from my emotions, but sometimes it's what you gotta do, if only not to make a scene at a wedding reception. My friend Ron always tells me that in spite of what I call my cynical attitude, I'm the most romantic person he knows. He says I'm not sentimental, but I am romantic. Did I read the Bronte sisters entirely too much when I was a teenager? Yeah, let's blame it on Emily and Charlotte! And Dorian, and that stupid country song! Charlotte and Emily and Dorian don't annoy me, but a country rock song? I humilate my own sensibilities with that one! But at least I take comfort that it wasn't a Celine Dion song! (Whew.)

valentina

June 25, 2006

On getting older

When I was in college, this is how my typical Saturday would go. I'd be up at 4 am, so I could be to work at 5 am (I worked at McDonald's). I would work until about noon, then I'd head home. I've veg around the house until about 3:30, then it would be time to get ready for the LARP (live action role play). We would LARP from about 5 until midnight, and then we would go to Lil Chef or Shoney's for food. Afterwards, sometimes a group of people would end up at my townhouse, and we talk until 4 am. I wonder sometimes how I managed to do that! Now I usually sleep in until about 9 or 10 am, clean the house, run errands. In the evenings, Todd and I will watch a movie, but I'm usually ready to go to sleep by 10 pm. Sad, isn't it?

June 25, 2006

A full account

Woah. There is SO much to write about. It was a LONG day. I woke up early- about 7:30. I got ready, and waited for my cousin/maid of honor to be ready. We left the house around 9:30. I'm going to sound like a horrible person here, but my meltdown came when I went to make sure my mother would be up and at the church (because she had the key) and she was sick. She has a chronic illness and is genuinely sick quite often, but she also will tend to rely on it as an attention getter, which pisses me off to no end. I just really needed her to pull it together, and it was one more thing going wrong. Just couldn't deal. So I grabbed my dress and left in a hurry. I went to a coffee shop and had a coffee and tried to calm down. The boy called my mom to see what was up and my aunt and her two oldest boys were going to head over to unlock the building. So my cousin and I thought we'd go make sure there were people there setting up. There weren't. It was just the three of them. So my cousin and I couldn't very well just be like, "Okay, see ya. Have fun with that!" We went in and helped set up and my aunt offered to help with my hair, but she had to run errands. Yeah. We didn't get out of there until after 12. She suggested meeting back up around 2. So my cousin and I ran to the nail salon where she had acryllics put on and that took forever. I never did find pretty underwear, but I found tights. While I was in the store looking for tights and underwear, I remembered that I wouldn't be going home again until after the wedding (no time!) and I didn't have my aquamarine earrings with me. I phoned the boy, asked him to look for the earrings, and he came up with nothing. So I asked him to look for the ones 'snarky got me from the swap, and he also couldn't find those. That was my big meltdown moment. I couldn't very well walk down the aisle without earrings! I needed those earrings! I was going to DIE without those earrings! (They were in plain sight when we got home, much, MUCH later.) So much drama. Anyway. I needed something borrowed, so I asked one of my bridesmaids to bring me earrings, and then found out that another one already had some with her, and they were GORGEOUS. Pearls with diamonds. Really simple and just lovely. We had to rush back, but the church was locked. However, we recognized cars, so we knew somebody was there. We're pounding on the doors and trying to get somebody's attention- It took about 15 minutes, and it was only due to the wonder of cell phones and luck that it was that fast. I'd forgotten any sort of hair-doing supplies, so my aunt and I ran to a store nearby and bought bobby pins and hair spray and a hairbrush and then ran back to the church. We scoot on back to the bride's room (It's makeshift; it's just one of the classrooms, but it was our base of operations, so that's what I'm calling it.) and get started on my hair. I'm not one for putting products in my hair, so it didn't feel that great- my hair is oddly really wavy, but hates holding curl. Continuation: I got sprayed in the eye with hairspray, which sucked. My cousin Donna shows up with 2 of her kids, and we have a little reunion. Her dad died earlier this year, and it was the first time I'd seen her since. She brought me tic tacs from him and came to the rescue when I realized I didn't have "something old" to carry. The second of three bridesmaids shows up with the pretty earrings and lots of hair-doing supplies. It's about 3:00 at this point. Lots of family have arrived and I'm trying to get around to see everybody, but I'm sort of confined to the room, so people are coming around to see me. I'm sorta hungry at this point; haven't had much to eat. And thus, my favourite story from the wedding is born. (To be told much later) Bridesmaid #2 volunteers to get me food, so she runs off to subway around 3:30. I can't remember what else she was doing. (Gah. I should've continued this sooner. I know there's a ton of stuff I'm forgetting.) And that, chickies, is where I must pause for the night, because... I'm so tired it's literally making me sick to my stomach. I'll pick back up soon.

June 24, 2006

On Headaches

I have a disease called 'Daily Chronic Headaches' - the short explanation is that I've had the same headache since August 2003. I think my ordeal since August 2003 started with a trip to Michigan's Adventure. It's an amusement park in Muskegon, MI, that has a water park and a regular amusement park (their slogan is 2 parks for the price of one). My best friend at the time and I went there on a very hot August Saturday, and spent nearly all day in the water park. It was fun, but I'm positive that it lead to an ear infection. I started feeling sick not long after this, and I went to the doctor several times, only to be told it's a virus (aka they have no clue what's wrong). I was sick for a month, and so sick that it got to the point that I had to go to the hospital and miss a week's worth of work. At the hospital, I was told I had strep throat and an ear infection. Because my regular doctor never diagnosed the ear infection, my ear was permently damaged. This is also when my headaches started. My doctor gave me FMLA for my headaches, otherwise I would have been fired for missing the weeks worth of work. It was good that I did get it, because I ended up using nearly all of it up. The next 9 months, I spent in and out of the hospital with the headaches. My regular doctor put me on every known headache / migraine medicine he knew of, and none of them worked. I went to a neurologist (he thought I was crazy), and other specialists - no-one could help me and my life was falling apart. One of my co-workers convinced me to try chiropractic, and it ended up being a Godsend to me. I could return to some degree of normalcy. Even though, I don't miss work anymore, and I don't usually miss social things, and the fact that I don't look sick, doesn't change the fact that I'm in constant pain. I have to watch what I eat, how active I am, make sure I get extra sleep, and I still have my bad days. Today is a bad day - thunderstorms are moving into the area, which always sets off my headaches, and getting upset yesterday didn't help. So, I'm trying to make it through work, and then I'll go home and go to bed.

June 23, 2006

Night before...

I'm getting MARRIED tomorrow! And it's already tomorrow in some places! I can't believe how excited and calm I am, all at the same time. My piano player did show up at the rehersal, so we talked about what songs I wanted and what parts. I'm walking to Nightfall and Leaves on the Seine by David Lanz. I love him. I'm starting to feel self-conscious about my dress not being white or traditional. Woah. Serious anxiety. That's so weird. ... Ugh. I'm so stressed out now! What happened to being calm? I'm going to be walking in front of who knows how many people in a blue nonwedding dress! Why didn't I get a normal dress, like normal people do?

June 23, 2006

Do you have a flag?

Entire GC Swap Reviews - 13bodies Package #1

Cross-posted to the reviews forum. Ahathoor - Triumphing. Kind of a weird woody/citrus scent. Maybe something like eucalyptus in there. It's kind of a cross between a medicinal scent and a cleaning products scent. From that description you'd probably guess that I don't like it very much, and you'd be right. I can't wear scents like this. Al-Shairan - His scent is fiery, bright and thick with sweet sinfulness: clove, peach and orange with cinnamon, patchouli and dark incense notes. The Lab has frimped me Al-Shairan imps three times (and they're all different colors), so I've tried it a few times. From the notes, it does seem like something I should like -- and I do like it, but the cinnamon will keep this from being a favorite. If it weren't for the cinnamon I would like it a lot. There's a sweet, thick scent underneath (the kind of scent I like), but the cinnamon makes it too hot and spicy for me. After about an hour it's a great clove and peach scent, with very light oranges. Exactly the type of scent I like. The only problem is getting through that initial cinnamon stage. Alice - Curiouser and curiouser. Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot. Reviewed on 3/13. Alice and I were not meant to be pals. I suspected the rose would be too much, and I dreaded the honey-induced play-doh scent, and I thought the carnations would be too bitter on me just like they always are. And Alice did exactly what I thought she was going to do. Bastet - Luxuriant amber, warm Egyptian musk, fierce saffron and soft myrrh, almond, cardamom and golden lotus. Mostly almond at first, and then amber and saffron. This is a beautiful golden scent, and I think it's very fitting for Bastet. I can see why this oil is so popular, it's lovely. It gets pretty light after about an hour, but it lasts quite a while. Bengal - A sultry and unruly blend that emulates the ambient scent of the markets in ancient Bengal: skin musk with honey, peppers, clove, cinnamon bark and ginger. At first it smells like honey and spices. Can't really smell any cinnamon in this at first, but I do smell a little bit of clove and ginger. After a while I definitely get cinnamon bark, loudly, with a honey undercurrent. Usually with cinnamon I have some trouble with it smelling very strong (the throw is a little too much for me), and it's like that in Bengal too. However after the cinnamon fades it’s a sweet honey scent, very lightly spiced. Quite nice.

filigree_shadow

June 23, 2006

captain diana's log

Fiddledragon Imp Pack #1

Bliss: This is one of my staples. Goes on smelling like hot cocoa. Really rich & chocolatey. Makes me want to lick myself. It slowly dissipates, but I generally keep a spray of this in my purse for touchups to stay as chocolatey as possible. Ravenous: Wet: Oddly enough, this smelled like leather & bandaids with lemony-citrus notes when I put it on. Drydown: As it dries, the actual patchouli note come through and it smells less like plastic. The red patchouli starts taking on a slighly herbal/slightly spicy tone to it, but it does have a bit of a musty odor to it. The orange blossom receeds quite a bit, adding a bit of a lightness to it, but it isn't sharp at all. I'm not sure if it's something I'd ever need a full 5mL of, since I'm not totally sold on the red patchouli. It's an interesting blend, though, and not too far off of something I'd wear regularly. Crossroads: Wet: very perfumey-floral. Dry: The floral is bright & sweet; it's almost citrus-like... I think this is magnolia maybe? There are some slightly earthy/mossy notes in the background. After a bit, some of the incense notes come out. They're soft and powdery, quite like the incense notes of Sybaris. They obscure the moss notes, but not enough of the florals, which stay fairly bright. An interesting blend, but a bit too floral for my tastes. Salome: Wet: sweet almonds & a bit of jasmine. i really like the wet stage. Dry: The sweet almond fades quite a bit, and the jasmine becomes more prominent. Then it fades into a weak floral, but the sweetness and warmth of the musk & sandalwood remain. I think I'd like this a lot more if it had better throw; this on me is a nose-to-wrist scent. I really really really like the musk, and wish it were stronger. Overall, it's a nice, sweet, pretty blend. It reminds me a bit of Bastet, but a little softer and less "golden" smelling. Nero: Wet: very sharp & astringent; smells like eucalyptus Dry: the eucaltypus-ish scent fades and becomes more herbal and also a bit medicinal. The bay is an interesting note, but not one i'd want to really smell like. Then it fades quickly into nothing. I am not a big fan of this blend. Masquerade: Wet: slightly perfumey, can detect orange blossom & patchouli right away. Dry: the scent becomes a bit spicy, possibly from the carnation. the patchouli is warm and slightly woodsy. Sweet & spicy & earthy all at the same time. The spiciness fades a bit, then it is a warm scent with just a hint of the orange blossom fruitiness. I really like this one... it might have to be an eventual 5mL. Faustus: Wet: soap & oil. Dry: becomes more spicy as it dries; the cinnamon & frankincense start to appear. It still smells fairly soapy, which oddly enough, I think is due to the violets. I usually love violets in almost any blend, but here they are just not my cup of tea. After a while, the sharp soap note fades a bit to a warm, spicy scent, but it's a little bit too astringent-smelling for me. It's a neat scent, just not one I think I'd really get much wear out of. This probably would smell amazing on a guy, FWIW. Masabakes: Wet: rich, heavy, but sweet. Currants + resins = yay Dry: Smells a bit like a relative of Lurid. Sweet, but mysterious. The sweetness of the black currants is strong, but not overwhelming, and is balanced nicely by the myrrh. The other notes add almost a dusty, dry base to it. For some reason, I thought I didn't or wouldn't like this blend, but this is actually very much a scent I would wear a lot!

Diana

June 23, 2006

My old job

My first job in the company I currently work in was the best job in the world. I loved it so much, but I was only temping for two ladies who were out on materinty leave. I bawled on my last day, on the way home from work, because I loved this job so much. My boss thought I was a great worker and he tried to A) keep me in his department or keep me in the company. I'm still in the company, but I don't like my current job nearly as much. Plus my boss in the old job was great, and my current boss is too busy to do much of anything besides sit in meetings. I just got a company wide email that one of the ladies who had a baby is leaving, tomorrow. Since this is the first I've heard of it, I'm guessing that they have someone else taking her place. I told my old boss that I would come back in a moment's notice, but I guess that's not going to happen. I sent him an email - to see if her position was filled. I know if I could go back there, I would have a wonderful job, with wonderful co-workers, and I'd be hired in right away. Because my mindset is of a depressed one, I feel that someone else is already working in her place, and it makes me want to cry. I can't even apply for the posting for her job, because I'm not hired in.

June 22, 2006

Gone Batty

Nice veins!

I feel like I should get a sticker that says "I made a phlebotomist happy today!" Every time I have to have blood drawn for tests they always tell me "oh, you have such nice veins". I guess that's cool. Though I'm not thrilled that you can see most of my veins because I'm pretty pale, I'd rather have an easy time giving blood than not. I'd have to say I'm lucky that no one's ever missed a vein or had to dig in my arm.

miss apple

June 22, 2006

4th of July BBQ

Since we bought our house in February, I've been itching to have a party. Since Todd's parents are coming up for the 4th, we are hosting our first party, a 4th of July BBQ. It will be mostly Todd's familly and friends, though it does sound like a couple we are both friends with are probably going to be able to come. I'm excited, but I'm sad at the same time - going back to my very whiny comment that I wish I had more friends. I'm not really sure how to make friends anymore. I tried and organized an Asheville meet & sniff, and it was fun, but it didn't lead anywhere in the friendship department. I'm not sure where someone goes to meet people in their late twenties / early thirties who like some of the same things I do. I'd love to find another gaming group, but I'm not sure where to find those either (I have looked in every comic shop I go into to see if there is anyone looking for gamers to join a game). I'm at a loss, and I'm sad about it... mostly because the two friends I have in this town (not counting Todd) seem to be distanting themselves from me (of course, this could be my paranoia when it comes to friends). This is reason I have issues with friends - in my life I've lost (driven away?) two groups of friends. I'm shy, though less than I used to be. I was painfully shy in my childhood, and so I didn't have a real friend until I was in the 6th grade. Her name was Heather and we were 'best friends' for the middle school years. We even shared a locker throughout high school. In high school, I began to discover who I am - the weird, geeky girl I am today. And Heather was more interested in being mainstream, a follower. Plus she could only have one good friend at a time. We had a group of friends, and in my senior year of high school, I began to realize how these people were ditching me, and not really my friends. They'd talk about trips they were going on, right in front of me, but I was never invited. If I wanted to do anything with them, I'd have to be the one to ask, and plan out the details - that got old really fast. I wasn't invested that emotionally with these people, so I decided one day that I didn't need them, and I'd find good friends in college. And I did - at least I thought I did. I met Sara freshman year in German class, and we became best friends quickly. We had other friends too, and a group formed that there were about 6 or 7 of us by the time we all graduated from college. I tried really hard to keep in touch, but as time went on they were less and less interested in keeping in touch with me, to the point that I was doing all the work. Unfortunely, I was very much emotionally invested in these people. I loved them like family, and I would have done anything for any of them. Unfortunely, they all decided (on their own, or as a group - I'm not sure) they didn't want to be my friend, which ended up them all ditching me on my birthday (Birthdays are big deals for me, especially since my mom died - and they knew this). This started a very hard time for me, because I ended up getting told that I was a horrible person (via livejournal no less), and it was really hard. I knew they weren't good friends, and that I was better off with out them. But it was like losing my entire family - I really did love them. So, about 6 months after this happened, we moved to NC, and make 2 friends right away. It was nice, but I couldn't seem to make any more friends. I'm not as whiney and depressing in real life as I am on online (online = venting), so I don't know what the problem is. I began to think that whatever drove both sets of friends away must be me... but I don't know why I'm so undesirable as a friend. Anyway, I've rambled enough - if you read this, and have any ideas why I see to be an anti-friend magnet, please let me know.

June 22, 2006

Wedding thoughts

Since my own wedding is 3 months away, my thoughts are pretty much focused on the wedding, and how much crap I still have to do for it. When I couldn't get to sleep last night, I flipped on the tv, and found the show 'Bridezillas' on which I watched for about 20 minutes. One of the brides made the comment that 'the wedding is all about the bride, and the groom doesn't matter'. I'd like to say that it's the first time I've heard that idea, but it's not. I know of several people who felt that way about their own wedding. Our wedding will be focused not just on me, because honestly it's not just me getting married. It's Todd and I. Besides, he might get more attention, since he's inviting more people I did get some wedding stuff done - I got the cloaks for the bridal party ordered yesterday, and I'll get them in a couple of weeks, which is awesome. This weekend, beyond cleaning, I'm going to get my invitations weighed, so I can buy stamps, so I can start to get those finished.