porcelina

how appropriate that i'm testing this today. i just finished freaking out about my discovery that the entire wild bee population of the las vegas valley (where i'm moving in a few weeks) can be consider africanized (you know, killer bees). YIKES.

anyway, here goes nothing!

ok, killer bees, if you smell like this and promise to leave me alone, you can make a nest in my backyard. this is delicious. there's no sassafras or sarsaparilla in here, but the licorice and ginger cream notes are reminding me of the root beer with licorice that i drank at the renaissance faire last weekend. this is warm and spicy with a smooth, creamy center. YUM!

good lord that's a lot of flowers.

i ordered e pluribus unum for two reasons: one, i really liked the concept, and two, i don't do well with florals in general, but i am often okay with "wildflowers" as a note, and i hoped this would be something like that.

at first it's… way too flowery for me. but i kind of expected that. but you know, i like it better than some other blends that just have one or two floral notes of doom for me; this is unapologetically, unabashedly FLOWERY and there is no single note that takes over and dominates. it's an explosion of blooms and color, but as it dries down, its oddly sweet and gentle.

i don't think i'll wear it very often, but if i am in a very specific type of girly mood- i might actually wear this. one flower, i can't do. 50 flowers, all together? not bad.

it does fade really fast, though.

mmm, what a beautiful scent for autumn!

it's not super aquatic, though the "autumn rains" note had me worried. it has the beautiful dead leaves scent that i love in so many of the lab's fall blends, just sort of cooled and dampened. the patchouli is beautifully aged now, and just the slightest bit spicy- and the resins make everything smooth and rich. this is a perfect perfume for a cool, rainy autumn day.

this should theoretically be amazing on me, with the vanilla and the cardamom and the egyptian musk... but the white sugar ruins it. there's a burnt, plasticky sweetness underneath the cardamom, which is the dominant note. i'm disappointed; i thought i'd love gypsy.

gin is not my thing. i smell like i just got really drunk and spilled a gin & tonic all over myself. i can see where this would be refreshing and cool if gin was your thing, but it just doesn't work for me! i hate leaving these short and useless reviews, but that's all there is to it. i just don't like gin.

ahhhh the almond is too strong. i can smell the clean, sweet cocoa butter, the resins, the woods, the beeswax… but it's all drowned out by lemony almond milk. :( :( this could've been lovely, but... sigh. DAMN YOU ALMOND

ohhh damn. this is an awesome, earthy vanilla, right out of the bottle. it reminds me of the sexy vanilla in tombstone. i can't wait to try this on!

mmm! the patchouli is smooth and woodsy, and the vanilla is rich and intense. the hemp isn't super noticeable here, but that's ok, because this is some of the best damn patchouli and vanilla i've ever smelled. it's a simple blend, but it's so deep and rich and beautiful. it reminds me of snake oil, a little, but simpler (and maybe actually heavier). this is fantastic stuff!

benevolent triple conjunction is bright, herbal and green. it's got an energetic citrus zip to it, and then there's something floral hanging in the background. it's kind of weird, and i don't know quite what i'm smelling, but i guess the primary purpose of this stuff isn't to be a perfume, right? it smells "cheerful," though, and i'm going to try using it on days when i need an extra boost.

ooh. this is a very dark patchouli-based blend. the african patchouli is gorgeous, the tobacco is sweet and dark, and the the citrus is more like dried orange peel as a spice than fresh juicy spice. it's dark, malicious and sweet (i agree with one other reviewer who compared it to the GC blend voodoo). mm.

i find myself really liking chaotic right out of the bottle! it's super musky and delicious. let's see how it fares on my skin…

ooh. smooth, sweet musk with plenty of rooibos and a bit of floral sweetness… maybe a bit too much for my tastes. i don't get a lot of wasabi- maybe as a slight spicy-astringent kick when i inhale deeply? i did not expect the heliotrope to be this strong… as time goes on, it dominates the blend. i am sad. i will have to see if the plain musk in neutral can calm it down some, so i can actually wear my alignment!

oh wow. my first impression is "dusty dark purple velvet." there's a big blast of dark plum, berries and resin, with a bit of clove. but there's something funky, bitter and, um, biological lurking underneath- i'm thinking this is the castoreum accord. this makes me reeeeally nervous at first. i've never met a musk i didn't like, but this might just be it.

over time, the individual notes all calm down and blend (even the pesky castoreum), but there's something too perfumey and kind of old-lady-powdery about this. maybe it's the poppy? or it could be the castoreum. i don't really see myself wearing purple spotted swallowtail.

this has aged nicely in the few months i've had the bottle. it's like a really nice iced tea blend- lightly sweetened, with some ginger and apricot.

it was all vetiver when i first got it, but it's barely noticeable now. i think the tolu balsam keeps it from being straight-up drinkable tea, and makes it more of a tea-based perfume than "perfume that smells like tea." it's quite nice- a refreshing scent for summer!

a complex floral-and-resins scent could go either way on me- really good or really bad. let's see how this turns out.

ok, it's dark. very dark. the aged patchouli note is lovely, by the way, and balances out the light, sharp "crystal musk."

but… the florals are just too much. it's heady and dizzying; it kind of gives me a headache and makes me sneeze. i think i'm allergic to something here because every time i sniff, i have a sneezing attack. ok… this is not gonna work.

ok, i used to own the illustrated woman, but then i sold it because even though i love all of the ingredients, i just didn't think it would work for me.

i'm glad i tried this again. the pine pitch is very vibrant and living- like a cool, dark pine forest in the dead of night. the smoke and pine make me feel like i'm camping in the woods, and the skin musk/honey/tobacco combo sweetens everything, so now this is a sexy, adult camping trip and not like the horribly boring bug-filled nightmares i was subjected to as a child. yum yum yum. for now, it's great. when this ages, and the resins have a chance to grow up and come out to play, i think this will be amaaaazing.

woah. tabula smaragdina is eye-wateringly strong in the bottle and wet on the skin. there's an intense, astringent soapiness here, along with the requisite herbs and resins. it reminds me of a soap booth i've visited at the renaissance faire.

then the rose starts to come out, and it evolves into a GIANT SOAPY ROSE MONSTER. wow wow wow.

i don't know what i thought rosicrucian incense would smell like! this is more like rose-icrucian, har-de-har-har-har. yikes.

omg. this is a sugar rush in a bottle! it is pure sweet, sticky, candy madness. this is a world of gum drop trees, lollipop flowers and easter grass. it's so powerfully sweet and sugary- it smells like lemonheads and gumdrops and all sorts of sweet and sour fruit candies. it's so sweet and cute- it makes me happy just to smell it.

the initial crazy rainbow blast of candy does fade pretty quickly, leaving behind a light, sugary-fruity scent that lays close to the skin.

tabella has aged nicely since 2008! i distinctly remember disliking it at first. the beeswax is lovely and golden, and the herbs tickle my nose. but something here smells soapy- other people might like this sweet, clean scent, but to me it's just a little too... i don't know, hand soap? i think the culprits may be the fig and olive blossom. it's a clean, golden/green herbal scent.

after a while the soapiness dies down and i'm left with a soft beeswax-and-herbs scent; very light and clean and close to the skin. it's quite nice.

ooh, i forgot how much i liked you, old berry moon!

there is that gorgeous golden musk that i love so much, paired with the sweet earthy fig. the honey is sweet and, yes, scented with orange blossoms; the berries are ripe and juicy. i can detect each individual note here, but the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. the overall effect is like a fragrant summer sunset- all reds and golds and pinks.

in the bottle... all i smell is caramel. the red musk and caramel sort of reminds me of red lantern, which is one of those scents that frustrate me to no end because they should be perfect but the caramel goes all plasticky on me and ruins everything. i am apprehensive.

on me... ok, yum. lightly spiced red musk and honey, with earthy patchouli and traces of sticky caramel. it's quite sexy, and honestly i like it, but i'm glad i don't have a full bottle because after a while it just sort of devolves into generic sexy red musk perfume, of which i'm sure i have about a billion.

as with other snake oil scents, i feel like the true test will be a year or two from now when australian copperhead has had time to age- but i can't resist giving it a try right now.

it's surprisingly fruity. the acai is stronger than the snake oil and at first it's all i smell. but the dark, heady snake oil is there in the background, filling in the cracks. there's the barest hint of smoke, and the cardamom tickles my nose with a dry spiciness.

given time for the berry to calm down and for the whole thing to age, i think this could be a beautiful blend, but it's still very delicious and wearable as is.

so there's a lot of fruit here, but the booze and musk keep it firmly out of "fresh fruit body spray" or even "juicy dessert" territory. this is more red musk and fruit liqueur- cherry brandy and i don't know what else. the red musk is not overwhelmingly (i love it, but it's often all i can smell) but hangs in the background, sort of beautifully tying all of the fruits together. gorgeous, and better than the previous incarnation, in my humble opinion.

in the bottle, phantom calliope is just this side of medicinal- i think it's the way the patchouli interacts with the cherry that gives it this feel. it's strong- after sniffing and closing the bottle, i can still smell it!

once on, this is definitely dark, dark cherry- but it's kept away from fresh fruit or dessert territory but the equally dark patchouli and the heavy spices. the verbena is there but it seems mostly to brighten the cherry scent, instead of being citrusy or herbal on its own. this is kind of like a spicy black cherry incense or something- not at all foody or even fruity.

after a time, the spices dominate and the dark, rich cherry fades away.

root beer, wow!

this is kind of like an herbal, root beer hard candy. not terribly sweet, made with real sassafras and other herbs, a lovely translucent brown in color. it's not super foody- the tea gives it almost an astringent quality, and the tonka sweetens in an earthy way, without straying into dessert territory. it's a really lovely scent, and while at first i got NOTHING but root beer, when you sniff more closely you realize that there's more going on here. i really like it, just wish it lasted longer on me.

i love love love the scent of beeswax, so naturally i had to try liberty. it's very prominent here! there's also frankincense and smoke, which gives it a nice incensey quality. unnnnfortunately, the florals have to come out and ruin everything. they kind of take over and make it hard to smell anything else. i blame the magnolia!

my overall impression is soft, fluffy brown fur.

there's coffee, but it's not a foody kind of coffee, with the woods and the smokey khus. the mallow makes everything sweet and cuddly. honestly, atlas makes me want to curl up and go to sleep. it is cozy and warm. aahhh.