I'm a klutz. It's one of those days/nights. Everything I touch goes kablooey! So I was trying to bake a cake for my fiance and I'm using this incredibly ghetto oven that's come with my apartment. First, it only goes up to 200 F. Then, once it reaches 200, you have to turn on the stove to "re-ignite" it or something. Then, 7 times out of 10, the temperature keeps going to 450. No matter what you set it to. 450. I don't know why. So, of course, I stupidly decide to bake this cake and at the slightest smell of cooking sets off my fire alarm. WTF. I freak out and attempt to turn it off (can you turn off fire alarms?) or take it down, and blissfully, and before I can get my hands on it it stops.

(In case of actual fire, I'm pleased to discover that the alarm is REALLY FUCKING LOUD and REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING)

But, I decide i need to take it down anyways in case it goes off again while I'm cooking. I balance precariously on a barstool. I think you can see where this is going. I fall, hard. I think I make an embarassing sound like, "whoommoop!!" while I am going down.

If BPAL made a scent called Ghetto Oven it would smell of burnt cake, burnt chicken, and despair (lightly burnt).

I've opened all the windows in the apartment to air it out (it *still* smells like burnt cake), and now I'm going to sleep.