Surprise! A Little Bitty Trading Post Update

[Failmingo]

Pardon us for neglecting the Trading Post -- it’s been a bit warm outside, and every extra ounce of energy’s gone toward fanning our nether-regions with sheaves of voter-registration cards.

Will any of these make it up to you?

CARAMEL PATCHOULI HAIR GLOSS

VIOLET AND GREEN TEA HAIR GLOSS

(Remember, Black Phoenix’s Hair Gloss is paraben and sulfate free, and contains no petro-chemicals, no GMOs, and no triclosan!)

Don’t neglect your other body parts -- there’s also a fresh array of bar soaps to lather up with:

MOUSE’S LONG AND SAD TALE SOAP

“Vanilla, two ambers, sweet pea and white sandalwood.”

ANNE BONNY SOAP

“Named in honor of the most notorious female pirate to ever set sail. Wicked, cruel, beautiful, intelligent, resourceful and dangerous: a true role model. A blend of Indonesian red patchouli, red sandalwood, and frankincense.“

DIRTY SOAP

“A wonderful antidote to an all-nighter oozing with drunken, addled perversion and debauchery. A fresh, crisp white linen scent: perfectly clean, perfectly breezy.”

***Note there are two versions available of each, one with silk peptides added, and one without (making the latter option vegan). For now, only the silk version of Mouse’s Long and Sad Tale is available.

We’re not done treating your malaise just yet! We’ve also got this glossy black mug, which helps you safely administer most liquids directly from hand to face. Perfect for coffee, tea or one of Doc Constantine’s own questionably effective plague remedies!

1350 A.D. MUG

Stay cool out there, friends! Never forget: smelling good is always the best revenge.