Day-Old Ham

[absinthetics]

Wow. This is absolutely true to life. You can even smell the salt of the ham and the juices are a little less juicy because, well, it's a day old, right?

[Tramp]

Day-Old Ham smells like motherfucking day old ham. If you thought, "Oh Beth doesn't hate us that much it will probably smell like Unicorn farts." Well Beth clearly DOES hate us this much and if you think it smells like unicorn farts it is only because unicorn farts smell like fucking day old ham. I could get out my bottle of Gore Shock and compare the two but I don't hate myself that much.

[TrailerTrashPrincess]

i don't eat pork of any kind. the smell of it cooking gives me physical pain - the specific smell of bacon frying will leave me doubled over feeling like someone is stabbing me with a hot knife.

 

so i was really, really afraid of this.

 

my point of reference isn't the best, but it smells a lot like Bac~Os bacon bits (which are pork-free, Kosher, and vegan!)

 

my husband has a small ham roast in the oven (i think he's upset because i've been calling it Hamlet) (but i'm upset because the smell of it makes me feel ill!) and while this one has some sort of glaze on it, there's still that underlying oink-smell, so yeah, this oil is freakishly dead-on. if, y'know, you wanna smell like a pork roast.

 

beware of dogs?

[MCS4096]

I thought this would smell like Gore-Shock, which I actually LIKE.. amazingly enough.. It goes kind of resinous-smokey with a hint of salt.

 

But uh..... this is fucking foul

 

Just wondering if anyone out there has the guts to put this on their skin!

[VetchVesper]

I bought a decant of this for the novelty and out of curiosity. I was thinking it might have vetiver in it for the meat smell and something sort of brown sugary, which might have dried down to something pleasant on me after the initial "haminess," but this ham is honey baked.

Honey, something salty, and oddly, something soapy underneath which I'm guessing is the kind of musk that goes dryer sheets on me. It's a really odd combo that doesn't repulse me, but definitely doesn't attract me either. It's actually less hammy than I expected. My cats were not impressed, so I guess if you REALLY want to smell like ham, you'll have to shove some in your trousers the old fashioned way.

 

Edit: It is worth noting, my husband, whose general reaction to all perfumes is "it's better than poop," (therefore it smells ok) literally recoiled when I put this under his nose. He then cringed when I tried to put some on him. I relented and he made his escape. So I guess to some, it really is THAT bad.

Edited January 5, 2016 by VetchVesper

[BoneBone24]

oh....

 

Day Old Ham is an understatement. This is like Month Old Ham Sitting Under a Heat Lamp. Egads it's foul. I braved a small skin test and will say it's less intense on the skin. But still...

 

I think I'll save this decant for a much-deserved prank. Otherwise I have no idea what to do with it.

[Lydialove]

I put it on.

 

 

And... now I shall wash it off.

 

Beth, you crack me up.

[poisondove]

Wow, its ham juice alright. Feels like a got a bit on my hand after tucking into Christmas dinner. Even a hint of clove and something almost like chocolate undertones.

While its not usually a scent people want to smell like, I just love how true to life it is. Even if it makes me think I need to wash my hands because they are hammy.

[satinworship]

I was actually expecting something different, but this is straight up roasted ham.

 

Starts off with a salty meat note and smells very dry. But later it does have some "holiday ham glaze" scent to it but it's still ham.

[zankoku_zen]

ERMAGHED.

 

This smells like ham. Baked ham. You know, ham. The ham you eat. It's definitely ham. Excellent throw, and wearlength.

 

Is this what Lady Gaga's dress kinda smelled like, but the ham equivalent?

[heatherlyn]

Just like you spilled ham juice on your arm. Could actually be ham juice, I couldn't tell the difference.

[unxolve]

Whiffing the bottle was FOUL. I half gagged and half lost my shit laughing about how bad it was. Oh my god. Applied it anyway.

 

Okay this DOES smell like the skin of a honey-baked ham. That note is definitely there and prominent and hilarious. But there's also a weird...I swear, chocolate??? Smell. I was going to keep this anyway for novelty value but....I don't...hate this....?

 

It's a gritty, naughty chocolate. Kind of a "savory" perfume? I think I like it. .___. ham, honey, spice, and chocolate. The other notes really compliment the ham. It is unlike anything I've ever smelled. Who knew.

 

Edit: Dry/a few hours in, it's mostly chocolate. I may even...wear....this....? If I feel like smelling like delicious chocolate ham. But I'm not sniffing it straight out of the bottle again. That was a mistake.

Edited May 21, 2016 by unxolve

[Blood onmy hands]

I actually don't mind meat fragrances. I have several perfumes now with bacon as a note and I love them, and I didn't even dislike bpal's Gore-Shock. This is kinda similar to Gore-Shock, minus the smoke. It's salty, honey glazed ham. Savory and sweet. I don't mind it, but (similar to Gore-Shock) I'll probably never really wear it. Bacon & chocolate perfumes, on the other hand, are amazing and wearable

[poisondove]

Now its not a perfume to wear all over, but a bit on your hand and its a novelty for yourself and weird out friends.

 

On the skin it smells like ham (surprise) but I also get a bit of a chocolate note. Not super sweet but perhaps its the fading glaze on these leftovers.

In any case, I actually like this as a novelty scent and did actually go back and get a bottle for years of amusement.