Lupercalia has come to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab!

[kebechet]

Love, lust, and tentacles are in the air at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab! To celebrate our favorite manufactured holiday, Valentine’s Day, we present a vast and varied selection of scents that are sure to please the most ardent romantic and the filthiest libertine.

 

This is, in part, a dirtybird update. There are naughty words in the Limited Edition section, and naughty pictures in the Novel Ideas For Secret Amusements Salon exhibit. Please exercise discretion.

 

But first…

 

 

The following is a paid advertisement from the Miskatonic Valley Tourism Board:

 

++ THE MISKATONIC VALLEY IS FOR LOVERS!

From the decaying waterfronts of Innsmouth to the sagging gambrel roofs and crumbling Georgian balustrades of Arkham, the Miskatonic Valley is a haven for lovers. This Valentine’s Day, take your sweetheart on a stroll through the Valley’s picturesque sites of natural beauty, including Billington’s Wood, Devil’s Reef, the sweeping Cliffs of Kingsport and Hangman’s Brook, or dine at one of our many fine upscale restaurants. The Strange High Bistro in the Mist carries a 93 point rating from the Blackwood Survey, and offers marvelous wines from the Zadok Allen Vineyard. Looking for something a little different? The curious cuisine and desolate view at the Steeple are sure to make an impression! In search of the perfect gift? The Miskatonic Valley has much to offer! Dreamy arrangements are the house specialty at Enchanted Wood Florist, and no Valentine’s Day is complete without a traditional box of chocolates from the Sugared She-Goat. Need something shiny to catch your mate’s eye? Bijou Y’ha-Nthlei and Inganok Jewelers are masters of their craft, and can outfit your loved one with everything from engagement rings to custom-made thousand-pronged blackened Nyarlathotopic atef crowns.

 

Single? Visit Dark Aeons Matchmakers! Now offering speed dating every full moon! Love may be fleeting, but madness is forever!

 

Arkham Sanitarium’s visiting hours have been extended for the holiday. Please phone the reception desk for details.

 

This information has been provided by the Miskatonic Valley Tourism Board and the Miskatonic Valley Convention and Visitors Bureau. Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fhtagn!

 

Promotional artwork provided by Miskatonic University's Professor Julie Dillon, DFA.

 

BIJOUX Y'HA-NTHLEI

Innsmouth, MA

New England’s most exclusive jewelers since 1778. The Darlings first opened their shop in 1772 under the name Lower Innsmouth Ritual Implement and Fancy Goods Emporium, constructing sturdy household wares and cultists tools in their workshop and importing strange and fanciful items from all over the globe and points beyond. In 1777, Prudence Marsh, matriarch of the venerable Marsh family, came to the Darling twins with a request. She had obtained a sizable quantity of a strange metal alloy that her brother had acquired from an extraterrestrial ocean trench by mysterious means. She asked Absalom and Zephania Darling, twin brothers, favored disciples of Dagon, and youngest of the Darling clan—who happened to dabble in metalwork—if they could fashion a set of diadems for ceremonial use in a very important high festival honoring Mother Hydra. The brothers complied, and found that they had found that they had unparalleled natural skill with jewelry crafting, particularly with rare and strange materials. Within a generation, their graceful, fantastic, odd, and provocative bangles, bracelets, pendants, and tiaras were prized the world over by the most illustrious and nefarious princes and priests.

 

To this day, Bijoux Y’ha-Nthlei is still family-owned and operated. Mathematically impossible, curiously irregular adornments fit to please the most discerning collector.

 

A strangely proportioned, opulent, lustrous scent: neroli, Hawaiian ginger, white musk, tarragon, beeswax, heliotrope, yellow rose, oud, coriander, amber, and lime peel.

 

 

ENCHANTED WOOD FLORIST

Arkham, MA

Unmatched artistry! Skilled in terrestrial, extra-terrestrial, and dreamscape floristry, these are the only artisans on Earth that are qualified to work with Moon-trees.

 

Please note: the Enchanted Wood Florist will not deliver to any residence or place of business where cats are present.

 

A burst of sweet, strange flowers, luminous Moon-tree sap, and ornamental grasses.

 

 

THE GILMAN HOUSE HOTEL

Innsmouth, MA

The quintessential Valley vacation destination! With its distinctive bulging cupola pushing into the Massachusetts skyline, surrounded by gorgeous views of the majestic Manuxet River on the south and captivating swampland on the west, the Gilman House Hotel is an Innsmouth landmark.

 

Built in 1750, this hotel is rich in Miskatonic Valley history, and is heralded as one of the Valley’s most romantic getaways. By day, sail with the croaking, baying entities that lurk in the wharves, then come back to your room and bask in the many amenities that the hotel has to offer.

Rest under the watchful eye of the Sleeping God, stroll through the boggy, vaporous central gardens, or unwind with your partner at the Gilman’s House’s renowned 4-star spa, famous for its sea salt scrubs and unique tentacle massage.

 

The Gilman House’s central location puts it easy reach of Innsmouth’s open confluence of streets, its bustling downtown area, and the wharves, and it is a hop, skip, and jump from the Innsmouth Colony for the Insane.

 

Banquet, convention, and ritual space available!

 

Musty, dilapidated furnishings, peeling paint, swamp gas, and decay.

 

 

INGANOK JEWELERS

Arkham, MA

Are you looking for the perfect ring to express your everlasting love? How about an amulet representing your sweetheart’s devotion to Zo-Kalar, Hargag Ryonis, Tamash, or Nyarlathotep? Inganok Jewelers carries a vast selection of onyx jewelry, mined in Inganok, designed by the natives of Y'Pawfrm e'din Leng, and crafted by the skilled artisans of Celephaïs! Each piece is as unique as your last psychotic break!

 

Gleaming stone and silver.

 

 

THE STEEPLE

Aylesbury, MA

Specializing in mycological delights and housed in a converted church that was once dedicated to Saint Anthony the Abbot, this charming hideaway sits high atop Zaman’s Hill and boasts a lovely view of the abandoned village below.

 

Otherworldly fungus, Provençal herbs, and dark, shadowy woods.

 

 

THE SUGARED SHE-GOAT CHOCOLATIER

Arkham, MA

Maddeningly addictive! This Valentine’s Day, melt your lover’s heart, figuratively, with a gift from the Miskatonic Valley’s premiere boutique chocolatier! This season’s specialty truffles are handmade by subjugated monks from Ghatanothoa’s monestary at Mount Yaddith-Gho, under the watchful eye of Mother Shub’s high priests. Imported to Arkham from Mu, they are distributed exclusively through the Sugared She-Goat. Iä, Shub-Niggurath, the Malefic She-Goat of Many Sugary Treats!

 

Please note: each truffle is sold separately. Specify which truffle/s you are requesting when ordering if remitting payment via PayPal.

 

DARK CHOCOLATE AND KEY LIME TRUFFLE

DARK CHOCOLATE, WHISKEY, AND COGNAC TRUFFLE

MILK CHOCOLATE AND MATCHA GREEN TEA GANACHE TRUFFLE

MILK CHOCOLATE, COCONUT, CARDAMOM, RUM, AND GINGER TRUFFLE

WHITE CHOCOLATE, BLACK RASPBERRY, AND APRICOT CORDIAL TRUFFLE

WHITE CHOCOLATE, STRAWBERRY, AND WHITE PEPPER TRUFFLE

 

 

THE ZADOK ALLEN VINYARD

Innsmouth, MA

Ut Sementem Feceris Ita Metes. Founded by the Esoteric Order of Dagon, and named after the man encased within the foundation of the winery, this fertile bastion of haphazard viticulture has been providing superb wines to the Miskatonic Valley since 1927. The site of the vineyard has been used for hundreds of years as an abattoir, and this environment lends a peculiar and exceptional terroir to all their wines and liquors. Visitors are welcome to observe Fishmen priests engaged in pigeage once a month. Please contact the vineyard for information on this as well as their scheduled wine tasting events.

 

A deep velvety Cabernet Sauvignon with hints of plum, black cherry, rose petals, coffee bean, and smoky oak. Barrel and bottle aged, with a smooth and spicy hit mid-palate. Hints of Dagon’s tarry black incense and clotted blood complete this well-rounded, robust indulgence.

 

 

And now, back to your regularly scheduled update.

 

 

Congratulations and be prosperous!

 

METAL TIGER

A new year's blessing! Peony, China's national flower, with bamboo for flexibility, plum blossom for perseverance, courage, and hope, tangerine for wealth, orange for happiness, lychee for household peace, pine resin for constancy, golden kumquat and quince for prosperity, narcissus and King mandarin for good fortune, cypress for longevity, and peach fruit and hemp to represent the fourth phase of Wu Xing, with a splash of blazing red of dragon's blood... to help you scare away the rampaging Nian.

 

 

To counterbalance last year’s Ode to Aphrodite, we present an Ode to her lover, the God of War: a series of eleven emboldening, strengthening, aggressive scents that embody dominance, power, conflict, vitality, wrath, vengeance, and sexual potency.

 

The Ode was illustrated by the fearsome Jennifer Williamson.

 

++ ODE TO ARES

AATOS POLEMOIO

Insatiate of War

Cedar, black currant, and saffron.

 

ANDREIPHONTÊS

Destroyer of Men

Tonka, benzoin, black sandalwood, and nutmeg.

 

BROTOLOIGOS

Murderous

Tobacco, wenge, rose geranium, and myrrh.

 

ENKHESPALOS

Spear-Wielding

Elder wood, leather, blonde tobacco, and cognac.

 

ENYALIOS

Lord of War

Patchouli, frankincense, olibanum, thyme, cocoa absolute, Peru balsam, oakmoss, and juniper.

 

KHALKOKORUSTÊS

Armed With Bronze

Champaca, pear, cedar, black pepper, jasmine, and red sandalwood.

 

KHRYSOPÊLÊX

Helmed in Gold

Caraway, amber, saffron, bergamot, and neroli.

 

MIAIPHONOS

Blood-Stained

Clove, anise, mandarin, and cumin.

 

RHINOTOROS

Skin-Piercing

Vetiver, patchouli, white pepper, and grapefruit.

 

THOOS

Swift

Tangerine, cypress, and white musk.

 

THOUROS

Furious

Rose otto, lychee, and cistus absolute.

 

 

From the passion of war, we move to the passion of love and sexual gratification – plus a few paeans to onanism. As always, our offerings during this Season of Schtupping contain adult material, and by clicking through to view the images and purchase our products, you are agreeing that you are a dirty bird who is 18 or older, and that you are permitted by law to view suggestive imagery.

 

 

Blessed Lupercalia, everyone! The Season of Schtupping is here!

 

++ LUPERCALIA 2010

ANACTORIA 2010

I feel thy blood against my blood; my pain

Pains thee, and lips bruise lips, and vein stings vein.

Let fruit be crushed on fruit, let flower on flower

Breast kindle breast, and either burn one hour.

Why wilt thou follow lesser loves? are thine

Too weak to bear these hands and lips of mine?

 

The scent of the throes of violent passion: entangled limbs, teeth on flesh, furiously grasping hands, the taste of blood and sweat. Golden amber, white honey, red currant, daemonorops, kush, and Arabian musk.

 

 

LUPERCI 2010

Piss off, Saint Valentine! Lupercalia is an ancient Roman celebration, held on February 15th, that kicked in the advent of Spring with a very, very festive purification, fertility and sexuality ritual. The ritual began near the cave of Lupercal on the Palatine, an area sacred to Faunus, as well as Ruminia, Romulus and Remus. During Lupercalia, Vestal Virgins first made offerings of sacred cakes to the fig tree under which the she-wolf suckled the Sacred Twins. A dog and two goats were then offered in sacrifice to Faunus. The blood of the sacrifice was smeared onto two naked patrician youths, who were assisted by the Virgins, and the blood was wiped clean with sacred wool dipped in milk. The youths donned the skins of the sacrificial goats, wielding whips made from the goat skins, and then led the priests and the Virgins around the pomarium, and around the base hills of Rome. This was a ceremony of great happiness and merriment, and was of particular interest to young women: being touched by the goat-whips young men that led the procession ensured their fertility in the coming year. It is believed that, after the initial rite, male participants would draw the name of an available maiden, with whom he spent the rest of the night. This scent is for the Luperci, the Chosen of Faunus, the Brothers of the Wolf: raw, down and dirty patchouli, Gurjam balsam, and essence of Sampson Root sweetened with the heightened sexuality of beeswax, virile juniper, oakmoss, ambrette seed over honey and East African musk.

 

 

OLISBOS

As for old flames and lovers—they're none left.

And since Milesians went against us,

I've not seen a decent eight-fingered dildo.

Yes, it's just leather, but it helps us out.

 

The ancient Greeks sure weren’t shy about taking care of business. The port city of Miletus was once famed throughout the Mediterranean as a source of excellent stone, wood, and padded leather dildos. This scent is the celebration of an age-old pastime: polished wood, well-loved leather, and olive oil.

 

 

THE PERFUMED GARDEN 2010

Under her neck my right hand

Has served her for a cushion,

And to draw her to me

I have sent out my left hand,

Which bore her up as a bed.

 

The Perfumed Garden for the Soul's Recreation. This scent is based on a venerable Tunisian perfume that was used to excite the senses, inspire sensuality and inflame passion. Myrrh and Moroccan jasmine with apple peel, Indian sandalwood, myrtle, quince, citron, and thyme poured over soft musk.

 

 

SAINT FOUTIN DE VARAILLES

Echoing the worship of ancient fertility gods, some early Christians attributed the power to grant blessings of reproductive fruitfulness to Christian saints through accidents of folk-etymology. A syncretic saint of questionable origin, he is possibly the result of a merging of the deity Priapus, or Mutinus Mutunus, and the sainted, semi-mythical first bishop of Lyons, Ponthius, often pronounced Fontin by the common folk of France where his veneration was concentrated. Saint Foutin’s name is an amalgamation of Pothinus and the verb foutre, which means “to fuck”, effectively granting this saint the prerogatives and powers of his predecessor, Priapus.

 

Saint Foutin was said to cure venereal diseases and other genital maladies, grant fruitfulness to women, and restore potency to men. Scrapings of stone from the groin of one of the saint's statues in France was said to cure all sexual ailments. At other shrines, offerings of wine were poured onto the saint’s penis, and worshippers molded ex votos in wax shaped to represent their afflicted body parts to leave in his care, either at the foot of his statue or hanging from the roof of his shrine.

 

Beeswax, frankincense, dried rose petals, and a dribble of wine.

 

 

SIGNIOR DILDO

With thanks to Sir John Wilmot.

 

This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb

As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;

Then away with these nasty devices, and show

How you rate the just merit of Signior Dildo.

 

Count Cazzo, who carries his nose very high,

In passion he swore his rival should die;

Then shut himself up to let the world know

Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior Dildo.

 

A rabble of pricks who were welcome before,

Now finding the porter denied them the door,

Maliciously waited his coming below

And inhumanly fell on Signior Dildo.

 

Nigh wearied out, the poor stranger did fly,

And along the Pall Mall they followed full cry;

The women concerned from every window

Cried, 'For heaven's sake, save Signior Dildo.'

 

The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughter

To see how the ballocks came wobbling after,

And had not their weight retarded the foe,

Indeed't had gone hard with Signior Dildo.

 

A scent of pearls and ivory: orris, violet leaf, narcissus, and Madagascar vanilla.

 

 

SMUT 2010

After all these years, BPAL is smuttier than ever.

 

Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes.

 

 

TWO LOVES

I dreamed I stood upon a little hill,

And at my feet there lay a ground, that seemed

Like a waste garden, flowering at its will

With buds and blossoms. There were pools that dreamed

Black and unruffled; there were white lilies

A few, and crocuses, and violets

Purple or pale, snake-like fritillaries

Scarce seen for the rank grass, and through green nets

Blue eyes of shy peryenche winked in the sun.

And there were curious flowers, before unknown,

Flowers that were stained with moonlight, or with shades

Of Nature's willful moods; and here a one

That had drunk in the transitory tone

Of one brief moment in a sunset; blades

Of grass that in an hundred springs had been

Slowly but exquisitely nurtured by the stars,

And watered with the scented dew long cupped

In lilies, that for rays of sun had seen

Only God's glory, for never a sunrise mars

The luminous air of Heaven. Beyond, abrupt,

A grey stone wall. o'ergrown with velvet moss

Uprose; and gazing I stood long, all mazed

To see a place so strange, so sweet, so fair.

And as I stood and marvelled, lo! across

The garden came a youth; one hand he raised

To shield him from the sun, his wind-tossed hair

Was twined with flowers, and in his hand he bore

A purple bunch of bursting grapes, his eyes

Were clear as crystal, naked all was he,

White as the snow on pathless mountains frore,

Red were his lips as red wine-spilith that dyes

A marble floor, his brow chalcedony.

And he came near me, with his lips uncurled

And kind, and caught my hand and kissed my mouth,

And gave me grapes to eat, and said, 'Sweet friend,

Come I will show thee shadows of the world

And images of life. See from the South

Comes the pale pageant that hath never an end.'

And lo! within the garden of my dream

I saw two walking on a shining plain

Of golden light. The one did joyous seem

And fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain

Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids

And joyous love of comely girl and boy,

His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades

Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy;

And in his hand he held an ivory lute

With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair,

And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute,

And round his neck three chains of roses were.

But he that was his comrade walked aside;

He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes

Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide

With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs

That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white

Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red

Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight,

And yet again unclenched, and his head

Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death.

A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold

With the device of a great snake, whose breath

Was fiery flame: which when I did behold

I fell a-weeping, and I cried, 'Sweet youth,

Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove

These pleasent realms? I pray thee speak me sooth

What is thy name?' He said, 'My name is Love.'

Then straight the first did turn himself to me

And cried, 'He lieth, for his name is Shame,

But I am Love, and I was wont to be

Alone in this fair garden, till he came

Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill

The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'

Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,

I am the love that dare not speak its name.'

 

Love beyond reach: sunset tones of amber, red musk, and blood orange with three chains of roses, velvet moss, white lilies, crocuses, violets, poppies, blue musk, neroli, angel's trumpet, frankincense, benzoin, and night-blooming flowers.

 

 

WOMB FURIE

In the middle of the flanks of women lies the womb, a female viscus, closely resembling an animal; for it is moved of itself hither and thither in the flanks, also upwards in a direct line to below the cartilage of the thorax and also obliquely to the right or to the left, either to the liver or spleen; and it likewise is subject to falling downwards, and, in a word, it is altogether erratic. It delights, also, in fragrant smells, and advances towards them; and it has an aversion to fetid smells, and flees from them; and on the whole the womb is like an animal within an animal.

-- Aretaeus the Cappadocian

 

Oh, that wily womb! Hippocrates and his followers considered the womb a mobile creature, causing mayhem as it writhed its way through a woman’s body. Sometimes this ornery organ, due to lack of sexual activity, would create conflicts within a woman’s system or would become blocked itself, causing anxiety, nervousness, water retention, and sleeplessness. With the assistance of doctors, nursemaids, hand tools, or, occasionally, self-manipulation, this vexing condition could be alleviated through hysterical paroxysms.

 

Or, as we call it nowadays: orgasm.

 

An itch that needs to be scratched: Snake Oil and three types of honey.

 

 

Keep on scratching those itches with our third installment of Novel Ideas For Secret Amusements:

 

 

Lupercalia, Metal Tiger, Iteru, Yule and Miskatonic Valley scents are $17.50 each, and the Anniversary, Resurrected, and Shunga scents are $20 each. The Anniversary and Yule scents will be live until February 2, 2010. Metal Tiger, The Lupercalias, Ode to Ares, and Valentine's Day in the Miskatonic Valley will be live until March 31, 2010. The Shungas will be live until April 30, 2010. They are the Pictures of Spring, after all.

 

 

The Dark Delicacies / Black Phoenix Valentine’s Day scents are live on the Dark Delicacies web site, and are also available at their brick and mortar shop in Burbank, CA!

 

Black Lace, Black Heart, and Black Death are all vastly different but utterly complementary scents. They can be worn alone, or layered with one another seamlessly.

 

BLACK HEART

Sweet pea, vanilla-infused sandalwood, bourbon vanilla, white honey, carnation, pomegranate, Vitis riparia, plum, and cognac.

 

BLACK DEATH

East African patchouli, bay, tobacco, golden amber, blackened sandalwood, orange peel, lemon verbena, clove, and a touch of lime.

 

Adorably spooky label artwork by Manda Lander!

 

Dark Delicacies

4213 W. Burbank Blvd.

Burbank, CA 91505

888-DARKDEL

 

 

We are also thrilled to present Black Phoenix collaborations with the Mütter Museum and Space15Twenty!

 

The Mütter Museum was founded to educate future doctors about anatomy and human medical anomalies. Today, it serves as a valuable resource for educating and enlightening the public about our medical past and telling important stories about what it means to be human. The Mütter Museum embodies the College of Physicians of Philadelphia's mission to advance the cause of health, and uphold the ideals and heritage of medicine.

 

Their one-of-a-kind treasures include:

The plaster cast of the torso of world-famous Siamese Twins, Chang & Eng, and their conjoined livers

Joseph Hyrtl's collection of skulls

Preserved body of the "Soap Lady"

Collection of 2,000 objects extracted from people's throats

Cancerous growth removed from President Grover Cleveland

Tallest skeleton on display in North America

 

The College of Physicians of Philadelphia

Mütter Museum

19 South 22nd Street, Philadelphia, PA, 19103.

 

The Mütter Museum is carrying Ü in their store. Created for the Mütter Museum by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, this scent is a mélange of balsams, leathers, and raw vanilla designed to evoke images of unearthed secrets and dusty, ancient libraries.

 

 

Located in Los Angeles, Space 15 Twenty is a unique retail setting, which creates an opportunity for Urban Outfitters to collaborate with creative brands that they find inspiring and interesting. Within the 12,690 square foot Urban Outfitters store, they showcase distinctive designers with a new pop-up shop every month. Each store is connected by an outdoor courtyard, which includes a performance space and adjacent gallery, both of which encourage participation in the curated environment. Aligning with local music, film and art venues, the courtyard and gallery present a rotating cast of musicians and artists.

 

Space15Twenty

1520 N. Cahuenga Blvd

Los Angeles, CA 90028

 

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has created two scents exclusively for Space15Twenty: Sweet Life, a luxurious blend of gardenia, pikaki, ylang ylang, and Casablanca lily, and Banshee Beat, a tousled, sexy mix of patchouli, vanilla, and hemp.

 

Due to component issues, Loviatar is being discontinued, effective immediately. We apologize for the suddenness of this pull, but we have no choice. Please accept our sincerest apologies!

 

Once component issues stabilize, we will be able to confidently resume work on the general catalogue. General catalogue projects will be released once we’re sure that any component issues are stable. Thank you for your patience during this challenging time!

 

 

And last, but certainly not least -- the Black Phoenix Trading Post anniversary update is coming soon!

 

 

Happiest of Happy Schtupping Days!