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  • I am not obsessed
  • brokedownrage a personal scent blog
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  1. soilentgringa

    First Impressions

    So the other day I blogged about wearing Loup Garou on Thanksgiving. I had to work a 16 hour shift that evening and when I got home I STILL smelled just as strongly of the fragrance as I did during the day. Maybe it wasn't strong to other people around me. One coworker told me I smelled like laundry... The bra that I had the piece of cotton in still has a heavenly scent, LOL. I usually hand-wash bras and the like, but it may take me a couple of washes to get all the scent out of it. This morning I was going to pour a couple of drops of Envy in the tub. When I first opened it, I caught the lime and a basil-y rosemary-ish whiff, very green and herbacious. Today I got more green and less lime. I accidentally poured the entire imp into the tub and it was a nice soak; I'm sorry I poured out the whole imp. The drop or so remaining in the vial went on pulse points. The Envy doesn't seem to be as long lasting as the Loup Garou was. Maybe it's because I put it straight onto my skin and not on a piece of fabric but I can't smell it at all now, ant it's been about 7 hours. I don't know that I'd order a full bottle again but I will probably order another imp or a decant. I'm glad to be ordering more this weekend and again the following payday. On a personal note: This is the first time in years that I've been able to budget money for indulgences for myself. My son will be 8 years old this coming weekend and two years ago he was hospitalized and diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, PTSD, and possible bi-polar disorder but they assigned Non Specified Mood Disorder to the list of diagnoses. He was sent home every day for the first semester of kindergarten, and even before that was asked to leave two daycare centers and a preschool. He's been hospitalized twice. I've been bitten, kicked, scratched, cussed out, had things thrown at me, and spent hours literally wrestling with a tiny octopus child of prodigious strength. I've had bruises the circumference of an orange from bites and I've had bloody lips as well. He's never been allowed to watch horror movies or anything that wasn't age appropriate in my home. This wasn't a case of bad parenting or negligence or abuse. (I've been accused of all three.) This is just a child whose brain chemicals aren't properly balanced and the areas of his brain that regulate these things aren't necessarily developing the same way as everyone else's are. We are insanely lucky to be in a program right now that offers us housing assistance and access to referrals and case management for 5-10 years so that I can complete my degree and raise my son in the manner I see fit. He is homeschooled, I work 40-50 hours a week, and this week some of my art is hanging in a show in the Design District in Dallas. Someone has already inquired about purchasing a small watercolor and the show doesn't even open until tomorrow! I don't have any outside help with my son. I can't afford the specialized childcare he requires and am very lucky that my aunt is able to take him on the overnight shifts and sometimes my mother can take him on a weekend. If not, he comes to the office with me. No one gives us any financial or cash assistance outside of our subsidized housing. I pay for medical insurance every month, we do not have any sort of food stamp (SNAP) assistance either. He receives Medicaid because he is legally disabled and receives SSI (which I suppose does count as cash assistance :-|) but that money goes to clothe him, feed him, and into savings for his future. His father has never been a part of his life and has no involvement and has never wished to. I've never received child support. I pay my mother's phone bill right now since we're on a family plan and she switched jobs after being with one company for 30 years and filed for bankruptcy. My family isn't close and people aren't really so eager to assist you when you have a 75lb screaming angry ball of rage (only sometimes) stuck to you like glue. Not that my son isn't the most amazing, hilarious, witty, sarcastic, intelligent, eager to learn, and loving small person I've ever met in my entire life, but he has his bad days just like anyone else. His are more along the "Hulk Smash" lines of bad days, though. I know that was very off track but it is such a huge deal for us to be getting on our feet and getting our lives back to what is normal for us. Being able to spend a little bit of money here and there for something for myself when someone else gets everything first automatically is a big thing. I've had to not guilt trip myself when I purchase hair dye or makeup or perfume. Less than a month ago I dyed my hair for the first time in over 3 years and what a difference did THAT make. Wow. So anyway, yeah. Loving being able to collect BPAL. Enjoying learning and being part of a diverse fandom and having one more new thing to obsess over. I've got our hermit crabs and BPAL... when I get older I'll be the smelly crab lady that all the kids are afraid of...bahahaha or maybe like the aunties in Practical Magic...that would be cool.
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