Lavada

Mr. Ibis from the American Gods line fits the bill. Clean and understated.

Everyone has tried BPAL's Crowley, haven't they? (No? What do you mean "no"? Go order yourself five bottles and try it. I'll wait.) Remember that scene in Good Omens when Crowley gets shot? Portrait of an Unidentified Man as Mephistopheles makes me think of what Crowley looked like in that scene - it smells remarkably like Crowley, but where Crowley is all suave leather, Mysterious Dude as Mephi is pissed off smoke and fire. I like it.

Wensleydale (well-scrubbed soapy skin and fresh cotton) - on me, it smells like warm skin after a shower. It's especially good on humid days because you can fool yourself into thinking that you're not as gross as you probably feel.

I love vampy colours, but boy do they age my hands. ): Lady McB is no different, making my hands look like they belong to someone ten years older than I am, but it is totally worth it. The description is dead-on. It pulls a morbid shade of brown into an otherwise cool-ish red and turns the colour into something interesting, classy, but just unsettling enough to have you glimpse at your nails warily every now and then. Very very glossy, even without top coat, and I'm undecided about the shimmer. There's not enough, or the colour itself doesn't really suit, for 'depth' or for it to be classified as a shimmer/glass-fleck (my standard is OPI's Russian Navy, which is LOVE), but it doesn't do anything turn me off the colour itself. So it's a bit useless, but not off-putting. The application and behaviour as a polish is what really earns Lady McB her name, though. The formula was nice - two coats to opacity, fairly self-levelling - but the colour itself bleeds frigging everywhere! Into my cuticles, the sides of my fingers/nails, the brush as I clean up (unsuccessfully, mind you), the brush as I apply top coat. Absolute horror. And when I take it off after a week or so (fantastic staying power, by the way! Only minimal tip wear on a data entry monkey!), HOLY YELLOW STAINS, BATMAN. Urgh. Gross. Like I said, it really does live up to its namesake. ps: Takes forever to dry properly on me, but that might be BPTP's formula disagreeing with my base/top coats (OPI natural base coat/Sally Hansen Mega Shine). Dents, but then can be smoothed out again with some careful finger work.

Dark violet. Dirty vetiver. But something very sultry underneath. All of this is wrapped around a delicate core that smells exactly like the centre of a just-bloomed flower. I love it.

Crib Girls always smelled like slightly stale Froot Loops to me. D:

This happens to me with jasmine, so I second this theory.

This one doesn't change too much on me so, for the most part, it's a dusty incense with the musk giving it a perfumey/cologney throw. I do get the impression of books, but only because there seems to be some sort of shared note/s with The Buggre All This Bible. I don't dislike it, but I don't see me wearing this either (and that's okay because I bought the bottle for a friend ;D). Low/Moderate throw and long wearlength.

This is very strong black tea (think Severin), but there's a fresh and almost aquatic twist which I can only attribute to the wasabi. As time passes, it gains a somewhat astringent and soapy aspect (not entirely unpleasant, but I much preferred the initial impression), and I never get the honey. At all. On me, this is a rich (from the tea, which does retain a bit of its smoky quality) take on the 'clean' scent family. I just wish the honey made itself known.

Fairy Market. It's everything it says it is. Watery fresh florals with a golden sugared incense in the background.

There are some BPALs that only come into their own when you get down and dirty in hot and humid conditions (see Crowley, War, Hell's Belle). Wensleydale is... not one of them. It was really really stinking hot a few days ago, so I decided to give my decant of Wensleydale a whirl. It starts if sharp and clean, but eventually settles into a slightly creamier and muskier sort of soapy. Nice. It doesn't stand hot and sweaty well, at least not with me... but, actually, it really does turn into clean and soapy skin. Just with an emphasis on the 'skin'. Overall, I'd wear it on a hot day if I was in a very well air conditioned igloo. (: Subtle throw, ridiculously long wear length (10+ and a shower later, I could still smell it).

Basically, this. I've tried it twice since I received it, and this is the impression I get. Anyway, onwards to a slightly more detailed review (because I don't want write my presentation speech right now). Bottle: Apples baked with sugar. Then encrusted with sugar and spices. So far so good. Wet: More of the same, but the deal warms up and the sugar/spice crust melts and caramalises. It's quite a light scent, so there's no OMGCLOYINGCLOYING to complain about... but still, it's tempered by a soft creaminess that reminds me of neither milk or cream but is still so delicious. Drying: Depending on how much I put on, either the sweet creaminess takes over, or the spice/sugar does (oh, along with apple, but the apple is in the background and occasionally peeking in to make sure everyone else is behaving). Overall, it smells like the inside of a McDonald's apple pie. I'll give you a minute to read that last sentence again. This is not a bad thing. Not at all. Sure, the actual filling is hotter than lava, but it still smells divine - as does Lambs Wool. Light/Moderate throw (no matter how much I slather), surprisingly long wear time. I hope that, with a little aging, the apple and overall throw will be a little more assertive. Glad I bought the bottle. (: ETA: I don't do scented candles but, if this is what scented candles smell like, I should really look into buying some. ;D

It smells like fire. Spicy and dark, but the dry and non-smoky kind. Good for layering, methinks. No sign of the honey or melon anywhere.

I felt a little bad for all of the un-BPAL related posting I've been doing, so I might as well review what I'm wearing right now. Something about the pine/vanilla combo makes this smell a bit plastic-ky, but the sharpness occasionally dies down to make way for a warm and spicy waft of goodness. It stays the same throughout so, if it wasn't for the first part, I would have considered a bottle. As is, my decant has been sitting here for a few months, and I'm not entirely impressed.

I swear that, before I ever saw the Mme.'s dark oil, that a woman sitting next to me on a bus was simply drenched in it. I was utterly hypnotised by the smell that I missed my stop until she got up and off at hers. As a memory, it wasn't really that memorable (more of a 'you had to be there' moment, you know?), but I was instantly transported to that bus ride the moment I opened the decant. Unapplied and wet, it's a... redder Snake Oil, if that makes sense. It smells dark dark dark wine red. But, considering my history with Snake Oil, this is fairly discouraging. It's really quite strong too, so I couldn't forget about it (even if I had given up on it) and I'm glad for that... because this dries down into a sultry cloud of awesome. The fruits have a spicy-musky edge to them, and the whole shebang is deepened by the most gorgeous vanilla. I can't pick out the patchouli as patchouli, but I suppose it's the reason why this lingers for so long on me. Massive throw, impressive wearlength. Bottle for sure. Two? ps; if you remember a shifty-eyed asian girl not so inconspicuously sniffing at you on a bus long ago, do let me know!