Bard

There comes a time when one sits down to write a review and they realize all they can write is a love letter. This is that time for me. Snake Oil is the finest scent Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has to offer. It has no equal amongst its peers or anywhere else in the perfume market. It is the perfect blend of the familiar and the exotic, the spiritual and the carnal. It is sensual, seductive, hot with passion. Every woman should smell like this. Every man should as well. When I wear Snake Oil, I feel powerful, seductive, charming. I don't receive compliments on it, I'm afraid, andI wonder if that's because I am a man. I wonder if it intoxicates me because I'm a man and thus swayed by its charms. I don't mind. If no woman ever complimented my Snake Oil, I would still wear it. It's simply that good. The bottom line is this: if you only ever buy one scent from the lab, choose this one. I can't do this scent justice in haiku, but out of love, I will try. Snake Oil Haiku, Soft, silken sheets stir, Where, serpent-like, entwining, The two become one.

A crystalline, cold green fire: six mints with white pepper and cucumber. Wearing this, I am wrapped in a swirling eddy of mint. The green of the cucumber and the pepper are lost on me, and instead this scent flickers from one mint to another, like the green flame of the description, but flickering with white and blue tones as well as the mints vye for dominance. Tulzscha lasts a few short hours gradually fading to embers and disappearing. It's a refreshing scent, though not one I'll likely wear often. However, it is a mint lover's dream. Tulzscha Haiku, Fire burning coldly In the dark depths of our hearts: Verdant jealousy.

On me, King of Clubs is warm, and sweet, the fig being the most prominent note, but blended subtly with tobacco to create a scent that the nose has trouble placing. For me it lacks the wild earthiness that many have discussed, but it is darker than King of Spades, which to me is has a similar presence. Where Spades embodies a certain mirth and passionate strength, his cousin Clubs is a quieter sort of scent. equally powerful, but more intense and withdrawn. It does little to lift my spirits, but I can sense the animal magnetism of this scent. It's my least favorite of the Kings Diamonds, Spades, and Clubs, but that's not saying much really since I adore all three of them. King of Clubs Haiku, Lord of the Forest, The Oak his royal scepter, The warm earth his throne.

For me, Miskatonic University is almost entirely coffee and cream. In fact, it smells so much the creamer I put in my coffee (creme brulee) that I always want a cup when I put this on. Occasionally, very occasionally I will get a hint of something boozy, and even less frequently, I'll catch the scent of wood or old books. However none of those scents come out strongly enough on me to really elevate this scent past its coffee roots. However it does conjure for me a dean's study, warm wood paneled walls, old tomes, and the ever-present scent of gourmet coffee that lingers in the room of a habitual coffee drinker. Whether this is my subconscious picking up the underlying notes or my projection of the scents title, I'm not quite sure. In all, this is a wonderful scent sure to please coffee lovers. Miskatonic University Haiku, Coffee's reflexion: Catching a glimpse of the thing Behind the bookshelf.

Although Dublin isn't a particularly "feminine" scent. There's something about Oisín that reminds me of a "masculine" Dublin. It may be the Irish blossoms that were so prevalent on me in Dublin echong in this scent and deepened by the white musk. This scent is not as strong as I suspected it would be. It lasts a long time, but t never becomes too prominent on the skin. That might be a blessing or a curse. It's also masculine, but it's not overpowering. It reminds me of an elfin hero. It seems almost too refined for a human warrior, bardic or not. I like this one a lot, but I have a feeling I'll be experimenting with it and laying other scents over it. It may become a scented soap in the future. Oisín Haiku, Warrior-Bard of yore: He of valor great and name Unpronounceable .

I was very intrigued by this scent when it came out and added it to that month's order. However I've only gotten to this one just now. On application, my immediate thought is it's conservative and very masculine. It reminds me--pleasantly--of Old Spice, but with subtlely different character. Yes, very much like a commercial men's cologne, but with a depth that I ascribe to the use of organic oils versus synthetics. It's very nice wet, and it feels extremely stately and dignified. As it dries however, the base notes die away and this becomes very sweet and lavender with a hint of sharpness. I was a bit put off by the change, as it suddenly reminded me of baby wipes. Which leads me to quite a conundrum: I want to love this scent, and in fact I do love it initially, but I'm unsure about the later stages of the fragrance. Ideally, I would love to perform an alchemical experiment with this, and apply this in the presence of 3 or 4 BPAL ladies. I'd be very curious is they get the same sense of "Eau de Chiffons de Bébé," or if it's merely my own nose's sensitivity to lavender. At very least, it merits another trial. Saint-Germain Haiku, When nine-hundred years Old you reach, only wish you Smelled this good, you shall!

I generally don't read the descriptions of a scent before I put it on, and sometimes I'll try something new without taking a whiff of the bottle. So when I applied this scent this morning, it rather went: *ahem*... CITRUS Then patted me on the head and told me I was a clever boy. This is a very nice, sweet, pleasant scent. Manic, as some have put it. It doesn't make me think of the Cheshire Cat to be honest. I'm reminded of the insanely cheery dancing flowers and suns in the early Warner Bros. cartoons. Somehow I find that more disturbing. As a scent, I likely won't wear this. It's just a little too artificial in its cheeriness. I'd rather wear something like Horn of Plenty or Coyote that just makes me feel good, rather than Cheshire Cat, which makes me feel like I've got my eyes and mouth taped open in a perpetual smile, like some disturbing Carrollian vision of A Clockwork Orange. Cheshire Cat Haiku, "Why is it you turn Invisible?" asked Alice. Said he, "Just for grins."

This is a very unusual green scent. It's so light, delicate, and otherworldly. It's a stroll through an enchanted forest on a cool dewy morning. I'm very drawn to the scent. I would love to meditate in a glade that smelled like this. I love the scent, but I doubt I'll be wearing it. Somehow this scent is much too large for me to pull it off. It needs to belong to a place, not a person. Perhaps it can be made into tarts instead. I could hardly complain if my house smelled like a faerie glade. Dublin Haiku, Sidhe still walk this wood. Everywhere, the morning green Glitters with their tears.

This scent smelled fascinating in the imp, and so, I gave it a try. Alas, Blood Lotus turned to Blood Kool-Aid on me. I lose any dark resiny tones that might be in this and instead get a cloying sweetness that lasts about an hour. Then the scent is gone completely. Not for me, sadly. Blood Lotus Haiku, The Temple of Set-- Its artistry funded by The Drink Stand of Set.

Wolf Moon is the first lunacy scent that I absolutely adore, however on me it isn't at all a wintery scent. Nor do I get the impression of man's struggle in his primordeal days, but what I do get is a heaping dose of Yoko Kanno: "We found a kind of paradise in a flower's bloom..." Yes, there is something about Wolf Moon that reminds me of the anime Wolf's Rain. There is chill here, but it's not the prime note, as I'd expect in a cold scent. There's a hint of woodsiness and greenery, but it's so faint on me it's almost like a half-forgotten race memory. There is something dark here, but it lurks in the corners of one's awareness and it never comes fully to light. What shines above all this, is a sweet, fruity, floral note, that just sings to me. It fills my head, and I can't get enough of it. It's intoxicating. This scent is strong and lasts for hours on me, though I've noticed that after about seven hours, the scent begins to decay, almost as if the flower was wilting. It's a subtle change, however. Wolf Moon Haiku, Through ice cathedrals Echoes the lupine chorus-- Moon-lit requiem.

This one caught me by surprise. I expected something deeper, drier, and more pungent. Something that truly smelled of the dead. Instead, on application, I get a sweet dark floral scent with a hint of earthiness and decay. I have no idea what the florals in this are, but I had the impression of death lilies. It isn't what I expected, but I'd be hard-pressed to say it isn't necrotic. There's something that says "funereal" in this scent, and yet another element that pulses with life. Or perhaps that second aspect is merely the scent's nature warring with the warmth and life of my skin chemistry. I don't get either the herbal scent, nor the red wine scent, and I'll probably try it again to see if I can pick those out. As it stands this is a fabulous scent: something that oozes otherworldly power. It's not me, but I can definitely appreciate its qualities. As a bonus, it's gender neutral and it lasts for several hours: perfect for a night of clubbing or LARPing, and those are precisely the groups to whom I'd recommend this. Nosferatu Haiku, See them in the clubs Living sunset to sunrise: Children of the Night.

Perhaps I'm one of the few people that did find this evocative of R'lyeh. Like Nyarlathotep, this is a citrusy scent, and that sweetness is what makes this scent so compelling. It's the hook that draws the nose deeper into the scent where itt discovers: darkness, insanity, and the ocean depths. Like Mad Hatter, you take a whiff, and pause and smell it again, because the combination is fascinating and distracting... On me this scent blends very nicely. The citrus is dominant, but the aquatics and the darker scents linger forebodingly, weaving in a hypnotic way. The scent lasts like this for nearly 5 hours, growing fainter, until what's left is a dark incensy scent like the shadow of the sleeping god. I love this scent, and I've got a 5 ml on order. R'Lyeh Haiku, Dark waters tremble-- Great Cthulhu awakens! Grapefruit for breakfast.

Initially, I like Satyr on me. It's very different from any of the other masculine BPAL scents. There's a lovely layer of sweet, and beneath it an almost overpowering animal musk. For a moment, I thought I might be in the zoo... as one of the exhibits. Oddly appealing in a playful yet ferocious sort of way. After dry down it loses that musky scent however, and I'm left with smoky cloves and a little vanilla. While I love Snake Oil, there's something about this that's off-putting. Which isn't to say it's a bad sent. It's a very rugged, hairy chested, I'm-so-viril-I-could-knock-up-a-rock sort of scent. And there's a certain appeal to that. Where Antony is the rugged but pretty clean-shaven hero, Satyr is the wild mountain man, ready to show you a good time in the barn... and against the tree... and over the rock... and under the bridge.... Wearing it you can really feel that. In all, it's too much testosterone for me. It's not my kind of manly scent. But I encourage ladies to try it on their men, and men to try it on their women. Just keep protection handy. Satyr Haiku, Ah to be a Faun! Knowing not but playing with His flute in the bush.

I had a very different sort of Flame experience with this. On first application, this scent is flambouyant, fruity and fun. If there was a scent called La Cage aux Folles, it could not smell more stereotypically gay than this. After a few hours, the florals come through, As others have said, it's hard to pick out any of the notes though I would guess night-blooming jasmine is among these. The fragrance remains a a mix of fruity and floral for a number of hours afterward. This is a lovely scent, but it's definitely a bit feminine. I expected something spicy, ardent and passionate with this scent, but I don't really get that when I wear it. Or rather, not a masculine ardent and passionate. I'd love to smell this on a lady. The jury's out on whether I'll keep this one. But it will amuse my friend E: she's been pestering me that I need a Bunny Wigglesworth fragrance. The Living Flame Haiku, "I love her madly," he confides, "but not as much as these fuschia tights."

Opening the bottle of gingerbread poppet should be reserved for only when you're not hungry. It's torture otherwise. This is one of the most stable scents I've worn. Meaning, on me, it varies very little between bottle and skin, and it doesn't change as I wear it. It's consistently a warm, luscious gingerbread smell. On me it lasted all day, and then some. While as a scent, I love this wholeheartedly, I must admit I find it disconcerting to smell like gingerbread all day. I think this bottle is going to be turned into incense or tarts, so I can appreciate it as a room scent. Gingerbread Poppet Haiku, Occupational Hazard: Dancing on the end Of a fox's nose.

This is a wonderful, bubbly playful scent that made me take a second whiff in the bottle. It's got that wonderful peppery bite to it that reminded me of the dearly departed Madison ice cream shop Chocolate Coyote's signature flavor: a blend of chocolate, cinnamon, and jalapeño. This is nothing like chocolate cinnamon and jalapeño, but it has that same bite to it. On my skin, I lost a lot of the dustiness, and instead had a sweet, somewhat peppery, musk. After a few hours, it becomes sweet amber with traces of its former qualities. In this stage, it reminds me of snake oil. Not at all the same scent, but sweet and spicy in a similar way. I love this scent a lot. Where Snake Oil is liquid sex: smooth, confident, and in control, Coyote is playful necking, with a little bit of biting involved. I'd like to wear it around a special someone and see if they pick up the same vibe. Coyote Haiku: Sharp-toothed canine grin: The trickster plots a scheme to Catch the road runner. Your humble and obedient Renaissance Man, Bard

Oh, what a wonderful scent. Peppermint and coconut are not a combination I'd have ever thought to try, but this bright, somewhat silly fragrance just makes me smile. It's the other notes that really blend this together and make the two compatable, I think. However, none of them are very distinct as I wear it. I can see why this conjures images of cookies and mint hot chocolate for some people. For me, however I get the image of Christmas Elves vacationing at the beach in July. The name doesn't seem very apt, although it does remind me of a minor character from Sluggy Freelance of the same name. Or Ed from Cowboy Bebop saying "SPOOKY!" Apart from silly examples like that, it doesn't really come off as a spooky scent. It tries hard, maybe, but it's just way too perky. I don't need a bottle of this, but I'll be hanging onto the decanted imp I have. Spooky Haiku, "Darkness! Pain!" she wailed, "My world is misery and--- ... cookies? For me? SQUEE!!!" Your humble and obedient Renaissance Man, Bard

I love the scent of Jack in the bottle, the blend is rich and sweet. If it smelled like this on me, I'd love it, however, when I first apply the scent, I get none of the sweetness or spicyness, only a raw, wet pumpkin scent that while not disagreeable is certainly not what I want to smell like. After a couple hours the scent balances and I get that lovely spicy-sweet scent I was looking for, however that's too little too late as far as I'm concerned. Still the scent is lovely, and I'll likely keep the imp to use as incense. Jack Haiku: Your body, a shell. Your spirit, the candle flame: Dancing for one night. Your humble and obedient Renaissance Man, Bard

I received this as a decanted imp, and when I first opened the vial, I was fairly sure I wouldn't like it. The oakmoss was very distinct and it reminded me vaguely of trendy commercial colognes that I don't care for very much. Nevertheless, I decided to give it a try and I was pleasantly surprised. On me the scent was too sharp for about a minute, and then it mellowed into a heady blend of musk and citrus. It was a most pleasant transformation. This scent, to me feels very cerebral, very left brain. Clean, crisp, logical. If Mr. Spock wore a fragrance, it might be King of Diamonds. It conjures images of a man: tall, imperious, fair-haired and slim, with chiseled features and a hawk's nose. A calculating man, stern, commanding. There is the barest hint of menace in this scent. Overall, I liked this scent a lot. It lasts a few hours on my skin, and it remains pleasant the entire time. I will be looking for a full bottle of this. King of Diamonds Haiku: The King of Winter Upon the cold earth bestows Glittering diamonds. Your humble and obedient Renaissance Man, Bard

This is definitely the epitome of the classic, rugged hero of yore. It reminds me of period films out of the fifties and sixties, where Jason, Sinbad, Hercules were macho and tough but groomed and clean shaven. This is a very classic scent. It reminds me of my dad: the protective warrior, stoic guardian. It's a scent for Superman, and if you're Superman, or have a Superman in your life, it's worth ordering this. On me, however, it's a bit too faint, and a it vanishes too quickly. I suppose I'm just not manly enough for Antony. Antony Haiku: "My hero," she sighs. With a kiss, she accepts the Vanquished pickle jar.

As most people have described already, hearth is has a very strong sweet cherry scent that tends to overpower the leather and smoke tones in the fragrance. It isn't unpleasant, but it is extremely strong and sweet. Not quite cough syrup, to my nose, but definitely not the cherry wood fragrance I was expecting. I had high hopes for Hearth. It sounded fabulous from the description. Unfortunately, I find it a bit too sweet for my taste. If Beth makes a 2005 batch of Hearth, I hope she tones down the cherries and brings out the tobacco and wood smoke. Were this a little darker, a little drier, I think it would be exquisite. For now, it goes into my drawer to see if a little aging will enhance the dark notes I'm craving. Hearth Haiku: Firelight in her eyes, Drawing into his strong arms; His pipe forgotten.

I love this scent. So much so that, I'm not sure that I could possibly be at all critical. As others have said, it's a very clean scent, the fruits, florals and greens kept very light, and the ozone sets it off perfectly. It seems to last for a few hours on me, which is just enough for it I think. Those that said this would make an excellent bath and body wash fragrance hit the nail on the head. Into my soaps and lotions it shall go. The beauty of this scent is it isn't very strong, but it's so lovely that it makes you want to lean in and get a closer whiff. I can imagine many pleasant mornings lost to the exploration of this scent. By midday it may be gone, but then you can pick out something sultry for the evening. Not a bad trade-off from my perspective. Neo-Tokyo Haiku: Caught in the spring rain, Wetting the swelling blossoms Of her yukata.

Like many others, I received this as a freebie, and I'm really glad the lab sent it along. This is not a scent I would have ordered on my own. In the Bottle: It's quite sweet, but with a depth to it that makes one take a second whiff. It's quite unusual. It smells very berry, but there's something else besides. In the bottle, at first, I found it hard to identify. On my skin: sweet and dark. It smells like candied cherries, or cherry candy (take your pick) with a rich warm vanilla-scented tobacco beneath it. Although it doesn't mention any confidence-boosting or mood-improving qualities in the description, this scent noticably lifts my mood when I wear it. After a few hours: The smell has hardly changed. The tobacco scent is a little more prominant, and the cherry more subdued. On me the scent is quite stable and lasts a very long time. I can smell traces of it a full twenty-four hours after application. This scent has become my second favorite, next to Snake Oil. Incidentally, I've now worn it two or three times. One day, I found a coupon shaped like a $20 dollar bill. One day, while wearing it, my old checkbook suddenly appeared on my dresser. Let me state that this checkbook is about six years old. It's my account from a bank in Champaign, IL. It's been missing for years. I can't imagine how or why it suddenly appeared in my dorm room in Madison. There is money in that account. I don't know exactly how much. When I call the bank to close the account, I'll be wearing Horn of Plenty. Horn of Plenty Haiku: "What's this in your nose?" Grandpa chuckles, producing A shiny quarter. Your humble and obedient Renaissance Man, Bard

In the bottle: Like nearly everyone else, I was initially overwhelmed by this fragrance. It's horribly strong in the bottle, very much like a curse. I immediately set it in my 'not to be trusted' pile of imps. On my skin: This is a bit better. It's more mellow out of the bottle. Dark and earthy, as others have said. There is a subtle sweetness that lurks under the patchouli. For the first hour or so this is truly a pleasure to wear. It is still quite strong, but not unbearably so. My cat was not impressed. After a few hours: The slightly sweet fragrance that made this compelling is gone. It's no longer even quite earthy, but it retains a certain peppery scent over which a bitter scent has emerged. It's as unappealing to me now as it was in the bottle. What's more, it shows no signs of fading. Clearly the curse has fallen. There will not be a repeat performance of this one. Malediction Haiku, She binds his false heart, Bitter incense wreathing her, Candles weeping wax.

In the bottle: It's definitely woodsy. I can smell the juniper and cypress. There is an unidentifiable darker element to it too. This has a very raw scent that conjures imaery of the forest primeval. Intriguing. I set in in my "like" pile. On my skin: PineSol. The juniper just strangles the other scents. It's not an unpleasant piney scent, but I might as well be wearing a single note. After a few hours: The pine scent is still all I get. Disappointing. I expected to transform into Mr. John Talbot, but instead. I transformed into Mr. Clean. I fault body chemistry. I bequeathed it to my brother, whose chemistry works much better with the scent. On him, it smells balanced and earthy. Loup Garou Haiku, La belle et sa bête, ils dansent dans le clair de lune, parmi les sapins. Your humble and obedient Renaissance Man, Bard