Failmingo

It occurred to us that you might require a little boost to help you through the coming season! Hence, this update including the latest in our Starstruck astrological blends, a new Single Note, and of course, an appeal to Jupiter by way of His orbiting offspring. The links to all three on our site are below. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/moons-of-jupiter-europa/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/single-note-australian-sandalwood/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/starstruck-gemini-2016/

It's that time again already... 13 is significant, whether you consider it lucky, unlucky or just plain odd. Many believe it to be unfortunate… …because there were 13 present at the Last Supper. …Loki crashed a party of 12 at Valhalla, which ended in Baldur’s death. …Oinomaos killed 13 of Hippodamia’s suitors before Pelops finally, in his own shady way, defeated the jealous king. …In ancient Rome, Hecate’s witches gathered in groups of 12, the Goddess herself being the 13th in the coven. Concern over the number thirteen echoes back beyond the Christian era. Line 13 was omitted form the Code of Hammurabi. The shivers over Friday the 13th also have some interesting origins: …Christ was allegedly crucified on Friday the 13th. …On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrests of Jaques de Molay, Grand Master of the Knights Templar, and sixty of his senior knights. …In British custom, hangings were held on Fridays, and there were 13 steps on the gallows leading to the noose. To combat the superstition, Robert Ingersoll and the Thirteen Club held thirteen-men dinners during the 19th Century. Successful? Hardly. The number still invokes trepidation to this day. A recent whimsical little serial killer study showed that the following murderers all have names that total thirteen letters: Theodore Bundy Jeffrey Dahmer Albert De Salvo John Wayne Gacy And, with a little stretch of the imagination, you can also fit “Jack the Ripper” and “Charles Manson” into that equation. More current-era paranoia: modern schoolchildren stop their memorization of the multiplication tables at 12. There were 13 Plutonium slugs in the atomic bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki. Apollo 13 wasn’t exactly the most successful space mission. All of these are things that modern triskaidekaphobes point to when justifying their fears. For some, 13 is an extremely fortuitous and auspicious number… …In Jewish tradition, God has 13 Attributes of Mercy. Also, there were 13 tribes of Israel, 13 principles of Jewish faith, and 13 is considered the age of maturity. …The ancient Egyptians believed that there were 12 stages of spiritual achievement in this lifetime, and a 13th beyond death. …The word for thirteen, in Chinese, sounds much like the word which means “must be alive”. Thirteen, whether you love it or loathe it, is a pretty cool number all around. …In some theories of relativity, there are 13 dimensions. …It is a prime number, lucky number, star number, Wilson Prime, and Fibonacci number. …There are 13 Archimedean solids. AND… …There were 13 original colonies when the United States were founded. Says a lot about the US, doesn’t it? 13This 13 is a blend of blackened cacao and thirteen sacred oils: Siamese red benzoin, olibanum, black copal, fossilized amber oil, sweet myrrh, Coptic rose resin, guggul gum, dragon’s blood resin, Palo Santo, bdellium, dammar gum, and attar of onycha. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/13-may-2016/

Hi everyone, there's a possibility that there's something amiss going on with the latest batch of Love's Philosophy. Initially we thought it might be a batch variation issue, but it could possibly be a case of mislabeling. We are looking into it now and will keep you posted.

SLOTH US IN SEVEN! Our ‪#‎BPAL7wordstory‬ contest resumes, this time with a theme that gives away the inspiration for our entire series. As far as sins go, Sloth poses a unique creative challenge to even the most succinct of storytellers (and to Beth, once a winner is selected). You have one week to enter, either on Twitter (don't forget the hashtag) or via email: 7words@blackphoenixalchemylab.com. For the complete list of rules, follow the link below. Ready... get set... SLOTH!!! http://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/welcome-to-bpal7wordstory-contest-round-two-sloth-edition/

Just a reminder that our Lunacy event in Los Angeles will be on May 21 from 4-7pm. Thanks to April showers, May is absolutely brimming with Les Fleurs du Mal. Please impress us in attire that evokes your favorite poisonous or carnivorous plant; at this event only, all perfume blends from the Rappaccini's Garden series will be 10% off! Also available on the 21st: a new Starstruck blend, a Single Note, and our latest tribute to the moons of Jupiter. Updates will be posted on the Facebook event page, below. https://www.facebook.com/events/220057875038536/ Dirty South event is May 27, 4-7pm: https://www.facebook.com/events/1091377070909982/ Vermont event is May 28, 6:30-9pm: https://www.facebook.com/events/1727196484194880/ Invite your friends, or come and make new ones!

We'll be vending both days of RuPaul's Drag Con! Instead of including all our exclusives below, we'll let spokesqueen Ariel Italic take it from here (the full list can be found in the video's caption): See you May 7-8!

So much Shiny & New -- Lunacy, #BPAL7wordstory, a CBLDF Kickstarter exclusive, our new Starstruck scent, with an addictive Single Note chaser. You can browse it all here! (Some of it hasn't been added to the S&N section on the main site yet.)

While you slept, the Carnaval crept back into town... Presenting Act 3, teeming with sideshow denizens and deadly reptilian passions. What astonishments await in the Parliament of Monsters? Can the rumors of an otherworldly “Vulture Maiden” possibly be true? You’ll have to pay for a peek behind that heavy curtain to find out. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/carnaval-diabolique-2015/

As promised, here are SEVEN honorable mentions from our ‪#‎BPAL7wordstory‬ contest, alongside our winner. There are many more we wish we could have included! The scent inspired by @geekdame's story will debut this spring. Thanks again to all who participated; keep your wits and your quill hands limber, you never know when (or how, or where) we may invite you to use them again.

Hello everyone, we announced this on social media the other day, apologies for waiting till now to post on the forum. Here is the winner of our inaugural ‪#‎BPAL7wordstory‬ contest! Thanks for being patient, your words kept us up all night. The winning entry comes via @geekdame on Twitter: “He breathed smoke across her pomegranate-stained lips.” A fragrance inspired by this story will be presented in April. Thank you all for your carefully wrought entries, which ran the gamut from humorous to personal to fantastical to downright pornographic. We’ll share some of our Honorable Mentions, and don’t think for a second this is the final chapter in our contest – but for now, it’s all about our winner. Congrats, @geekdame! We'll all be wearing and smelling your words in the near future.

Hello, Los Angeles! While you're out today, pick up some extra feminine hygiene supplies for homeless women which you can redeem for a free 5ml bottle of our exclusive fragrance SANGUINEM MENSTRUUM. We'll be taking these off your hands at tomorrow's Lunacy event at the Lab proper -- see FB event below. https://www.facebook.com/events/163049410739338/ Huge thanks to everyone in other cities who've participated in our drive so far. You have vastly improved the quality of someone's day.

At their upcoming Lunacy event on Feb. 18, Loved To Death and LTD joins our crusade to help restore health and hygiene to homeless women. As in our Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Vermont events, donors of $20 worth of tampons and pads will receive the following signature scent: SANGUINEM MENSTRUUM It would indeed be a difficult matter to find anything which is productive of more marvellous effects than the menstrual discharge. On the approach of a woman in this state, must will become sour, seeds which are touched by her become sterile, grafts wither away, garden plants are parched up, and the fruit will fall from the tree beneath which she sits. Her very look, even, will dim the brightness of mirrors, blunt the edge of steel, and take away the polish from ivory. A swarm of bees, if looked upon by her, will die immediately; brass and iron will instantly become rusty, and emit an offensive odour; while dogs which may have tasted of the matter so discharged are seized with madness, and their bite is venomous and incurable. -Pliny the Elder The copper tang of blood musk, swept by a cloud of dying bees and red poppies of madness. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Exclusive LTD ScentAlso, we are very excited to announce a new winter-edition BPAL scent exclusive to Loved To Death, available in-store and online: AUSPICIUM MELIORIS AEVI A sign of a better age: white sandalwood and crystallized vanilla absolute with white amber, Florentine iris, white leather, and red patchouli bursting through melting snow. Event Adress: 1681 Haight St, San Francisco, CA 94117 Time: 4pm to 7pm Here’s the FB event link. See you on the 18th!

Dearest revelers and lustful onlookers, the Lupercalia update is now complete! For the NSFW fully-illustrated effect, browse here at the store. (Please note: don't put any of our products on your naughty bits. The fiery loin stoking is intended to be figurative, not literal. You'll get a really, really fiery stoke if you don't heed this common sense warning.) FRAU BEI DER SELBSTBEFRIEDIGUNG Bath Oil Gustav Klimt's ode to masturbation: pale sandalwood, white cream vanilla, and a touch of tea rose. SMUT Hair Gloss Quintessential BPAL filth. Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes. ++VD CLAW POLISH So much pink! So much glitter! So many vulvas! BLOSSOMING VULVA Nail Polish Vulva-pink crème. BOOT GIRL Nail Polish Shimmering French pink with a mist of silver. BRIGHT RED DILDO Nail Polish An ejaculation of red glitter. HAIL SATIN Nail Polish Toe-shoe pink with an iridescent lilac sheen. LUPERCI Nail Polish Ivy-green crème. REFLECTED VULVA Nail Polish Labial pink with fine iridescent glitter. SUGARCANE ME Nail Polish A shocking hot pink glitter with opalescent purply glitter bits! WOMB FURIE Nail Polish An enflamed fuchsia glitterbomb! ++SMOOCHES We are thrilled to announce another Black Phoenix Trading Post / Villainess collaborative project! BPTP and Villainess have teamed up to create Bliss Smooch - concocted by Villainess, scented by Black Phoenix! About the Smooches... "The Smooch is a Villainess original; a multi-tasking product cleverly disguised as the most indulgent thing to ever touch your skin. We start with a carefully balanced blend of feather-light (yet vitamin-rich) grapeseed oil, and an exotic vegetable butter - mango, unrefined shea, or black cocoa, coconut oil to melt at skin temperature, and lashings of cherry kernel oil. And then we add the good stuff; raw sugars or sea salts to exfoliate without any rough edges to abrade your gorgeous skin, crushed botanicals or bright ticklish jojoba beads to gently slough off dead skin cells. When you get a Smooch into the damp luxury of a warm bath or shower, they emulse into an impossibly light milky lotion that rinses away cleanly. Exfoliating and moisturising in one easy step, Smooch leaves you smooth and supple - in other words, perfectly kissable! This Moisturizing Body Scrub is both water-activated and preservative free. To maintain their luscious textures, avoid pre-activating them, and to prevent microbial growth keep them as dry as possible during use. We recommend using a Smooch completely within 30 days of your first use." LOVE Smooch Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde Pink roses, sugared pomegranate, apple blossom, white ginger, and velvet-white vanilla. LUST Smooch Unfailing golden arrows dipped in lust: shimmering amber and copal with red musk, red patchouli, beeswax, hay sugar, and a drop of Turkish rose. ++THE GARDEN OF APHRODITE Inspired by the art of Franz Von Bayros, we present the Garden of Aphrodite! RECOLLECTION Bath Oil Marshmallow root, cream vanilla, Roman chamomile, and cocoa butter. THE LADY IN BLACK Atmosphere Spray Opulent gilded red musk and ivory-encrusted vanilla with orris root, smoked amber, red patchouli, and red oudh. THE LOVE SWING Hair Gloss Vanilla-infused cardamom and sleek black patchouli. THE THORNY PATH Atmosphere Spray 3-year aged patchouli, tree moss, rose thorn, leather, and vanilla oudh. ++SHUNGAS OIL PAPER UMBRELLA Atmosphere Spray Lemon peel and white sandalwood with sweet amber and black tea. SECRETS OF THE HANAMACHI Atmosphere Spray Tangerine, red musk, ti leaf, vanilla orchid, and white honey. FLUTTERING PEONIES Bath Oil Chinese peony aflutter with gilded vanilla, sweet honey, peach, and spiced carnation. SPIDERWEB KIMONO Bath Oil French lavender, white frankincense, Himalayan cedar, and jasmine sambac absolute. YAKUMO NO CHIGIRI Bath Oil Green tea, juniper leaf, and honeyed green apple. DEPARTING LIKE SMOKE Hair Gloss Sandalwood, tiare, white oudh, and white amber. ENVELOPED IN SILK Hair Gloss Strawberry cream, white musk, and orris root. THE CARD GAME Hair Gloss Dried blue and indigo fruits, iris root, and white oudh. THE GEISHA AND THE SAMURAI Hair Gloss Blood orange, wood amber, and white tea. THE POEM CLOUD Hair Gloss Sugared red musk, cardamom, and honey.

Your Lupercalia update is here, and filthy as ever: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/lupercalia-2016/ And one to grow on: Fire Monkey, a scent for the Lunar New Year: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/fire-monkey/ Enjoy responsibly!

Dear Friends, It's been nearly six years since we've revisited our shipping fees, and in the meantime postal rates have continued to climb. As much as it galls us to make pricing decisions that affect certain customers more than others, especially our faithful fans overseas, BPAL and BPTP have rolled out new rates, effective immediately, for both domestic and international orders. Below is our new shipping grid as of January, 2016. Small adjustments may still have to be made as we endeavor to include everyone. [uPDATE: AMENDED TO CORRECT DOMESTIC SHIPPING AMOUNTS] BPAL domestic shipping rates for the US: Orders totaling up to $175.00: $7.50 All domestic orders of $175 or greater ship for free. BPAL international shipping rates, by country/region: Canada: $25 UK / Western Europe: $34 Eastern Europe / South America / South Africa: $34 Oceania: $35 Japan: $32 All international orders of $300 or greater ship for free. If your country isn't listed here or it's unclear what your rate would be, please email us at: answers@blackphoenixalchemylab.com Black Phoenix Trading Post international rates: Canada Flat rate: $23 Medium flat rate: $44 Large flat rate: $57 Everywhere else: Flat rate: $32 Medium flat rate: $65 Large flat rate: $85 Metered post for larger packages: 1 lb. - $45 2 lb. - $50 3 lb. - $55 4 lb. - $58 Once again, we hope you will see the difficulty of our position and understand these rates are beyond our control. Sincerely, The Lab/Trading Post Team

Moons of Jupiter: Adrastea $23 The smallest of Jupiter’s Inner Moons. This is a maternal perfume: warm, comforting, and protective. Goat’s milk accord, white honey, cacao-dusted amber, white coconut, white rose, and benzoin. http://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/moons-jupiter-adrastea/ Happy Full Moon, everyone!

Hi all, here are details for the upcoming Atlanta event! Be sure to follow along via the FB event page, linked below. Dirty South Will Call: January 23, 4pm - 7pm Microtel Inn and Suites by Wyndham at Perimeter Center 6280 Peachtree Dunwoody Road Atlanta, GA 30328 https://www.facebook.com/events/1074042065950775/

One and all, we welcome you to join us at the first Lunacy event of 2016! After years of happy hosting at Dark Delicacies, we are transitioning back to will calls at the Lab proper. We're celebrating this return to our home turf with an exclusive scent and food provided by Grilled Cheese Truck! You may RSVP and keep abreast via the Facebook event link below. We look forward to seeing you! (Note: these Lunacy events are still the ONLY occasions when the Lab will be open to the public.) https://www.facebook.com/events/574293192718211 Chinigchinix is exclusive to this event only. $24 buckeroos: CHINIGCHINIX Long before the gods of cinema turned their celluloid eyes to the streets of Los Angeles, Chinigchinix, He Who Enforces the Law, stalked Southern California. With the aid of his eyes – Crow, Mountain Lion, Bear, and Rattlesnake – he watches over the ancient people of California, ensuring that they behave in accordance with correct moral codes. Black copal and white sage with chaparral, beach saltbush, pearly everlasting, fire poppy, and white flowering currant.

Your last chance to buy scents from these two updates from either the Lab or the Trading Post is December 28th at 3pm, PST. store links: Lilith on BPAL Fatherhood on BPTP Halloween 2015 on BPAL Halloween 2015 on BPTP Thank you very much for making some Fall memories with us!

Just a note that the Lab and Trading Post will both be closed tomorrow and Friday in observance of the holiday. Please pace your expectations accordingly re: any customer service matters; we promise to get back to you ASAP afterward. May those inclined have a very merry Christmas!

With the holidays fast approaching, please take note of the Lab and Trading Post’s shipping cut-off dates to receive items by Christmas. These cut-offs are for shipments you need to receive by Christmas only and do not affect scent availability for purchase: Monday Dec. 7th 12:01am PST for international orders Monday, Dec 14th 12:01am PST for domestic orders Gift Certificates are not subject to the same cut-offs as they’re sent by email, so you can also get those for BPAL and the Trading Post. Thank you!

Coming out of hiding to report that I got to sample this tonight and have been thoroughly corrupted. The cumin keeps this from plunging as deep and dark as the clove and leather might otherwise dive together (as they do when you smell straight from the bottle). Instead the whole blend swirls and hovers together in a sort of stagnant middle layer, like brackish water swirling in warm sunlight, giving off a faintly sweet steam -- that's the vanilla and cumin dancing together, right on the edge of an edible smell. As in Snake Oil, this is merely an enticement to lure the nose down into the darker, more mysterious notes. However, I found the latter dried off sooner, leaving one to luxuriate in the steam instead of fully losing one's boots in the muck -- a decidedly non-putrid experience overall, but I love those early stages when you're nervous because you're not quite sure how deep those puddles might be. Edit: No, there it is -- a lingering stink, which I think is still the cumin. Beth just described it to me as "sweaty." I love this scent!

Hi everyone, two updates this week -- a dash of luck, some good will, and new scents. Palmyra All proceeds after cost of manufacture benefit the UNHCR’s efforts to aid refugees and meet humanitarian needs. Golden amber and galbanum with frankincense, myrrh, Balm of Gilead, vanilla-infused sandalwood, sand-smoothed leather, and Ceylon cinnamon. 13 BPAL's latest tribute of today's notoriously unlucky date. Thirteen sugars, honeys, and vanillas dusted with chocolate to help you combat ill-fortune with the raw power of overwhelming sweetness. Enjoy in good health!

Pretty Indulgent has just added two new exclusive BPAL fragrances to their collection: MAT NIGHT The joy of wanton mischief: caramelized tobacco and snow muffling the scent of a distant fire. SOIRS d’AUTOMNE Voici que la tulipe et voilà que les roses, Sous les gestes massifs des bronzes et des marbres, Dans le Parc où l'Amour folàtre sous les arbres, Chantent dans les longs soirs monotones et roses. Dans les soirs a chanté la gaîté des parterres Où danse un clair de lune en des poses obliques, Et de grands souffles vont, lourds et mélancoliques,à Troubler le rêve blanc des oiseaux solitaires. Voici que la tulipe et voilà que les roses Et les lys cristallins, pourprés de crépuscule, Rayonnent tristement au soleil qui recule, Emportant la douleur des bêtes et des choses. Et mon amour meurtri, comme une chair qui saigne, Repose sa blessure et calme ses névroses. Et voici que les lys, la tulipe et les roses Pleurent les souvenirs où mon âme se baigne. - - - See how here the tulip- there the rose, By a group of bronze and marble statuaries, In the park where love frolics under trees, Sing through my nights, pink and monotonous. The flowerbeds sang at eve in joyful chords Where the moonlight’s dance is a shifting show And where, sultry and sad, their high notes go, Troubling the pure dreams of solitary birds. See how here the tulip there the rose And crystal lilies, crimson in twilight, Radiate sadly to the sun in flight That bears away from beasts and things their woes. And my ravaged love, like bleeding flesh, makes whole Its wounds and lets its madness find repose. See how the lily, tulip, and the rose Weep for the memories that wash my soul. - Emile Nelligan Ravaged love, like bleeding flesh, makes whole its wounds: lily, tulip and rose shimmering in the moonlight, brushed by a quiet autumn breeze.

Attention rampant samplers! We regret to inform you that due to web issues, BPAL will no longer offer that sweet $2 discount with the purchase of 6 imp’s ears. If/when it becomes possible again, we shall let you know right away. Thanks for your understanding!