Soupy Twist

As the great man said, it is a capital mistake to theorize in advance of the facts. I was convinced that if I were going to purchase any bottles out of this update it would be this one, but wow, did it not work for me. A lovely fir pine in the bottle and on first application. Then someone lights the fireplace which is stocked with fir boughs. The window must be open for a minute to facilitate draw, bringing a smoky snow note to the back of the throat. It's not the Lab's sweet snow note from the Snow Falling series; it's definitely "smoked." The window is closed, and then all I get is pines in the fireplace. The smoke note is much less offensive than Alkemia's, but that's all it is: smoke. No tobacco at all.

Yikes! No idea what happened here. I must've gotten the "broke open the jewelry case with a circular saw" batch, because all I smell is friction-burned treated-wood sawdust.

A sweet floral in the bottle. It's hard to describe when it goes on — sweet, light, and fruity? Iris? It sounds silly but I want to call it "grown-up Juicy Fruit gum" — it's sweet and fruit-like and juicy, but not in a childish way. After a few minutes this dries to something more like a flower stamen, which is sad because I really liked the fruit part, and in 10 minutes the entire thing has quieted to a floral powder. No musk, no juniper. Kinda disappointed; this had a lot of promise.

oh, so very close. This is a luscious, sweet peach nectar for a solid 10 minutes, but then it fades to gross dusty musk. If it didn't sour on the drydown this would be a bottle for sure.

oh dag, now I have to try this. It sounds wonderful.

Wait, that's the official name of this stuff?

Gesundheit. What ingredient is that?

I thought this year's Snow at Noon was lovely, but it's almost identical to Skadi, so it might not work for you. Almond Blossom (Yule 2013) is in the same vein. Loup Garou is a GC (Diabolus) which my notes say is "like walking through a very crowded Christmas tree farm." Knecht Ruprecht (Yule 2012, I've seen it recently in Swaps/Sales) is definitely pines in winter, not BPAL's regular snow note. I have not yet tried this year's "The Second Morning After Christmas" or "Unmanageable Snowdrift," but give the reviews a read.

Tea in the bottle, but that's the only place. All I get is a sickly sweet rose, which develops some sour amber as it dries. Not a drop of vanilla.

Juniper and strawberry candy in the bottle, but the juniper note never makes it to the skin. All I get is hard strawberry candy — an authentically fake note, if that makes sense.

A smooth gradient from lime rind to lemongrass. Very realistic, very Thai. And as all BPAL citrus on me, very gone in 15 minutes.

Peppermint and sugar in the bottle. Goes on like a photographic rendition of a candy cane. Seriously, I'd swear I was eating one. The vanilla comes in after a few minutes and turns this rounder and softer. It burns on the skin, but very briefly — Lick It Again burned for 10 minutes; this was barely a blip. It dries to a round, soft, sweet vanilla with mint on the backside. Just beautiful.

2015 decant. Just what it says on the tin. Starts as the nice cocoa from El Dia de los Reyes and segues into a rounded gold amber. Very well executed, but I'm not fond of amber, so I'll pass.

Dusty, dry, totally accurate pine needles. Not sure if I need a bottle but I feel like I'm wearing a photograph, if that makes sense. Absolutely perfect rendition of a really nice pine tree... in mid-January. When they invent holodecks, they will be calling on the Lab to do ALL the olfactory bits.

2015 version. Pine-sol. Sour pine and a little snow. I love pine and I love the Lab's snow note, but wow, this does not work for me.

Opens as an unsweetened berry tea. The fruit note quickly dissipates, leaving a very nice warm, soft, spicy black tea. Kind of like a simpler version of Villainess's Masala (which I LOVE and you can't get any more, so if you missed that, try this).

2015 decant. Lemonheads candy. Pretty much all I get. Some faint floral after the drydown before, like every other BPAL citrus, it vanishes completely in less than 15 minutes.

Sweet coffee and... scotch? whisky? rum? "Buttery and boozy" is spot-on. You can actually smell the wet cake somehow. But it dries to a dusty cocoa and then cinnamon, which is not as interesting.

Morphers make me want to tell stories, so this isn't like one of my typical reviews. Gorlois is dying, and he is dreaming, and he knows they are one and the same. The duke sees himself approaching his stronghold of Tintagel, where his wife Ygraine is securely barricaded from the forces of Uther, the king who would steal her away from her husband. Dream-Gorlois strides easily through the stands of cedar and juniper which ring his castle, and he is welcomed at the gate. In the great hall, the fair Ygraine awaits him with open arms, and he crushes her in a mighty hug. She helps him to remove his battle leathers, which smell of his skin and his sweat. He orders a servant to add elm boughs to the fire to take the chill from the icy room. Ygraine hands him warmed wine. The spices are so familiar on his tongue that his heart cries out in longing, in warning. Ygraine gazes lovingly at the Dream-Gorlois, the stranger who wears his face, and suddenly she knows, she knows this is not her husband, and she is paralyzed in her terror. The Dream-Gorlois smiles, an impossibly wide smile — the smile of a demon. His mouth bristles with ten-inch fangs. The fair Ygraine is frozen, turned stone, turned to wood, to polished cedar, and the monster raises a taloned hand and begins to rend her into shreds and shavings. Her screams are lost in the beast's roar. It continues to change, to shift, until there is only a red-gold dragon standing atop a pile of sawdust, dripping cherry-sweet slaver onto the stones. A baby begins to cry. Gorlois is dreaming, and he is dying, and he knows they are one and the same.

This is The Witches with a little bit of musk. I have no idea how, because it doesn't contain any of the listed notes of The Witches, but that's absolutely exactly what it is. There is no milk, butter, goat, rice flower, or honey on me. It's cinnamon/nutmeg/clove/allspice and musk.

Sandalwood in the bottle. Goes on as sandalwood, vetiver, and blackcurrant. It's not dreadful as it dries, but it continues into that weird flower-stamen note which the Lab's jasmine tends to turn into on my skin. Pass.

Tangerine and that soft restaurant mint candy in the bottle. Goes on as tangerine and orange, which becomes freshly-squeezed orange juice. Morphs into powdered anise, almost like anisette cookies. Absolutely delicious. It softens a little bit as it wears, which might be the lavender but to me is more like the roundness of vanilla.

Juniper and camphor (think "dentist's office") in the bottle, but neither is harsh. There's definitely that "snow in the back of the throat" note. Goes on with a bit of eucalyptus. The snow note develops a sweetness and a little more pine comes in. It's very round, not harsh at all. Some tea comes in after a few minutes. This is absolutely lovely. Sweet and bright. I think it's almost like Skadi without the actual berry note, but similarly sweet, or Arcana's Winter Wolves but with more fruit and less pine. I may have to get a bottle of this, since I missed out on Skadi.

Yoikes! This sounded a bit warmer on paper. Very accurate to the listed notes: leather and tar in the bottle, which adds pepper on application. Then the salt comes in — this is what I thought the pirate scents like the Jolly Roger would smell like. I feel like I'm standing on the deck of an 18th-century ship in the dead of winter. Not something I'd wear again, but another brilliant technical accomplishment from the Lab.

Ginger and apricot, sort of, in the bottle. Goes on as that jasmine stameny note, the sour one. This slightly morphs into unripe apricot. Just yuck. Scrubber.