myoubi

The acting: so bad! So universally awful! The dialogue: so melodramatic! - but predictably so, I wasn't expecting anything less, and I'm even relishing its blue-cheese-like deliciousness. But honestly guys, stop poncing about speaking in low, mysterious, dramatic voices and start talking like normal people, mmkay? I mean, there's a point. Verdict on the film: Whoever did the music for that film fails at life on an epic scale. Music should enhance mood, not distract from the film itself. Brad Pitt, as attractive a man as I'm willing to admit he is, should not have long hair -- it is really not a good look for him. Equally, long hair looks truly heinous on Antonio Banderas. I appreciate androgyny much, much more than the next girl, but putting square-jawed Masculine Men in poncy outfits and then trying to make them look vaguely girly just doesn't work. Brad Pitt's scenes with the interviewer were Not Good. His voice-over narrations were likewise poorly done, and although Tom Cruise really had his moments as crazy egotistical Lestat (typecasting?) he too often descended into the Low Mysterious Voice that forces me to restrain a giggle. Also, all of the men, particularly Armand, seemed to have this problem with their necks wherein they had to look at the world up through their eyebrows. It was most disconcerting. And yet... and yet. Claudia was the high point of the film for me, and I love the relationship between her and Louis -- in the book she's a lot more scary and abhorrent, which I sort of missed, but as a character she makes me happy and Kirsten Dunst wasn't half-bad. (the Hellsing animated series, which is heavily derivative, offers a version of Claudia who's less bloodthirsty and creeptacular. sanitised, in other words.) And while I certainly wouldn't want to own the film, I can see watching it again -- and enjoying it for all its cheesy deliciousness. Anne Rice, like McDonald's french fries, has a special place in my heart.

I watched Death and Rebirth and The End of Evangelion today, because apparently I like pain. I keep coming back to Eva at different points in my life, watching it again and hoping to find some kind of answer -- because of how it resonates with me, and always has. I haven't found the answer yet. Or maybe it's there but too uncomfortable for me to think about. Either way, it's an exercise in frustration -- both because the series resonates so closely even now, and because it doesn't pretend to solve its characters' problems, and by extension my own. Whether or not it's because I saw the series years ago and it made such an impact that the ideas were buried in my brain, many of the things Shinji thought and said are things that I did as well. Do, sometimes. Sometimes I think that giving up individuality isn't too high a price to pay for an end of loneliness and fear. Sometimes I just want it all to stop -- the constant insecurity and needing. There is no way out of that. You can think yourself out of anything, if you try hard enough. The reason that despite some experimentation with drugs I seem incapable of getting high, is because I think myself down from it -- even though I've felt the physical effects of every drug I've tried, I've never experienced the concurrent effects on the mind, and people around me notice no change in my attitude or behaviour (except for wobbly walking). This is something that distresses me, because I could seriously use some chemically-enforced release, but also that I'm perversely proud of: see my iron self-control, look what I can do! My iron self-control has gotten me through a lot. It is also part of the reason that I am unhappy. I'm a creature of extremes: to find some resolution I'll need to either disregard that control entirely, or embrace it completely. The latter option, as isolating as it is, looks so tempting. Because I /know/ how to do that. I don't know how to be normal or let go. These aren't new thoughts -- they're realisations i've come to before. That makes me wary of them, because it's like a groove I have worn in my brain, but it also makes them easier to believe. To sink into I-don't-know-how-so-I'll-give-up is to really take myself one step further towards turning into Shinji.

At first the tobacco amps on me, and I think immediately of Perversion. Then I get a hint of the spicy clove wafting underneath, and /then/ a red cherry pops out, almost a maraschino cherry scent. Good throw, I can smell the backs of my hands from a foot away, and that was only one swipe of the imp. There's something musky underneath it all. It's dark and reminds me a lot of Perversion, only this is fruitier and juicier and, surprisingly, less heavy -- perhaps because the tobacco is prominent on me in both blends. After about five minutes something cherryish comes out even more, until it's a musky swirl of cherry and tobacco.... that's not as gross as it sounds. At this stage the clove also comes out to play a bit more, and I get a hint of clove cigarettes, but it's a sweeter wetter smell. Yeah, this is a sexy blend. And yes, it's gorgeous. I can understand why people go wild for this, even if I haven't been quite bitten meself. The catch? It burns my skin. The /only/ blend to do that, and it had to be F54. Oh well. I like Perversion for my tobacco hit anyway. ETA: that's what that sweetness must be, the cognac. I don't smell any booze, though... weird.

Tonight I was walking home from driving lesson and looked up at the sky... it was a perfect velvety sky, soft like the fuzz on a peach, completely starless and blue. Shining -- not glowing, as it often does -- was the bright white fingernail sliver of the moon, and beside it I'm not sure what, a planet or satellite or unusually bright star, one single pinpoint of light in the sky.

Unseelie lives up to its name -- wispy, ethereal, dark. It smells something like a vintage perfume, it's older in style and definately a sophisticated scent. While I can't sort out notes at all, such that I won't even try, I will say that it's a beautiful, beckoning scent with moderate throw. I don't understand the Snow White comparison at all -- there's none of the clear whiteness or creamy coconut quality of Snow White to Unseelie, but perhaps that's just skin chemistry doing its thing. There's something in here that reminds me a little of Brisingamen, although Brisingamen is a much brighter clearer scent. They both go a little powdery on me after a bit -- fortunately I'm a fan of powder. Verdict: a lovely scent, and if it were GC I'd have a bottle in an instant; and if someone offered up an imp, I'd probably swap generously for it. It reminds me a lot of Dark Delicacies -- not in actual scent, but in tone. And since I love DD and have a lot of it, I'm not dying for more Unseelie.

Smells like Shub! The soap is very creamy in texture and doesn't overlather like some soaps do. It also just plain looks pretty. I find the shub smell lingers a bit, so I make sure to dry my hands very thoroughly afterwards, and even then a bit stays on my fingers. The scent is rather strong and very true to blend. Nice.

today RO and Hymn to Pan did zilch. Oh well, that's life, you win some you lose some, etc. It just means I'll start decanting from my bottles when I see ISO's for these guys. I've swapped or sold most of the rare stuff I was wanting to cull from my collection. I feel better now that I have less stuff I don't use, but it's weird having the feeling of /not/ being able to swap for virtually anything I want anymore. I amassed a collection of rares and semi-rares such that when I wanted stuff stood a fairly good chance of finding someone to swap with; now I don't have that, and even though I'm happy to get stuff out of my way, it's a bit odd. My bottle collection is also too big, but every time I try to cull it further I just can't choose. I love the scents I have so much and there aren't any that I want to get rid of; and I have a lot of new ones coming to me, as well -- 29 new scents, that I've never even sniffed before. I'm optimistic about at least half of them, but my tried-to-kept ratio tells me that I probably won't even consider keeping more than four or five. The rest will get swapped or sold. I love BPAL fandom, it's so much fun -- and it's a product so worthy of notice as well, which makes me very happy -- but my initial wallet-busting enthusiasm has waned to the more sedate desire of wanting to have merely what I will use and love. I really like the idea of a signature scent, but unfortunately my changeable personality won't permit any such thing -- the closest I have is La Fee Verte, which I actually don't use that often in an effort to never run out. As I've written many times before, I want bottles of Brisingamen, Boomslang, Blue Moon and Tarot: The Hermit -- and then I think I'll make an effort to cut back my collection even further. -- phooey... I have to go to bed early tonight (as in before 3, like last night/this morning) to be up and presentable for lunch with Richard at Lakes tomorrow. Not that I'm doing much at the moment any way... I'm indulging in the McDonald's French Fries of literature at the moment [Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novels -- so bad, and yet so greasily delicious]. I have started rereading Pamela, oh God, and I want to get through the two collections of essays on British colonialism in the 18th and 19th century (respectively). I also want to start losing weight again, since I'm currently dissatisfied with the state of my figure, and I could definately stand to do some sit-ups -- my dancer abs have all but dissolved since I stopped Ballroom. Still thinking about my SG application. While it would be awesome to do some sets, I'm not sure I'm quite the sort of girl they're looking for. Perhaps because I'm shy, somewhat retiring, not given to excess or presenting myself in a manner that causes people to make assumptions about me -- I just happen to be a budding nudist who's vain enough and mischievious enough to want to get her picture taken naked. I think, given a couple of shots of tequila to blank out my worry function, doing a set would be a lot of fun, and it'd put me in the same (broad, broad, broad) ballpark as some ladies I admire (and think are ridiculously attractive and I'd do them in a second). But the fact is that I still have self-confidence issues, lingering but inconsistent body-image issues, and a somewhat raised-eyebrow approach to my unfortunately high sex drive. We'll think on this.

I am meeting Care for dinner today and I'm excited because I'm getting dressed up. On with my pink foofy dress which makes me look like I am five! On with my gorgeous six-inch-high PVC platform boots! And the best part is, my entire outfit cost me less than $40. Which is pretty awesome considering the boots alone are $85 regular price. it is almost 2 in the afternoon and I am listening to "Ashes to Ashes" (David Bowie) and contemplating whether or not glitter eyeshadow would be too much, or so much too much it's just right. And I smell like Monster Bait: Closet. I am a happy kitty. --- I am also trying out a combination of Road Opener and Hymn to Pan -- Road Opener on my palms, with a very small 'opening ritual' and a plea to bring new opportunities and clear my path, and Hymn to Pan on the back of the neck. Hymn to Pan doesn't get pulled out often -- the first time I wore this particular combination, it was /very/ effective, although the last two times I wore it it has been pale... and usually I use Hymn to Pan more for its element of 'rock star debauch' than specifically its sporadic fits of creativity and inspiration. I've never had much luck getting inspired, but I have had fun connecting to the part of me that I'm often too shy and self-conscious to allow out. Pan being as unpredictable as He is, however, I never quite know what I'm in for. It'll be interesting either way!

just wanted you to know that I feel the same way. When I got into my dream school I was outwardly excited but inwardly nervous, and that feeling grew and ultimately impaired my ability to learn and work... I finally decided to take a semester off to figure my stuff out. Maybe you just need a genuine chance to step back, instead of fleeting "breaks" which serve as welcome distractions instead of reflection time. Also, the Lush massage bars kind of freak me out. I applied one twice, and my room and my sheets stank of it for literally weeks.

it doesn't matter what gender zhe is. Zhe is hott.

and it smells good! I can't use the bath bombs or the tub cake yet because of my navel piercing, which hasn't healed... so if I want to take a bath, I have to get some tegaderm (first thing tomorrow). But the bath stuff is huge! So much larger than Lush stuff and so much less expensive! I'm not a huge fan of Lush anyway, except for Butterball and Candy Bar, but I may have just been converted. While the Lush bath bombs look nicer and are more firmly packed, the HAEE bombs are much larger -- I could probably use half a bomb per bath and get the same amount of fizz. The tub cakes are literally twice the size of the equivalent Lush product, and while I haven't tested their bubblebility yet, it can't be *that* much different. They also smell amaaaazing. I ordered everything scented with Voodoo Punani It smells like I wanted Underpants to smell -- like coy, pin-up girl smex. I also found rose-scented toothpaste. Yeah, I know. It was from a japanese company called Breath Palette -- they make toothpastes in 31 flavours. Like Baskin Robbins!

got a testable sniffie from the generous djnevermore in a swap. Thank you! Yes, this is carnation, spot-on. I feel like I've actually got my nose stuck in the flower itself. Slightly spicy, just a little green, and with very good throw -- I only applied a teensy bit and I can smell it from a foot away. I'm always amazed at how accurate single notes are, and this one is no exception.

I have a bottle containing about an imp of Pink Moon 05, and it doesn't get pulled out that often, largely because I don't /have/ a lot. But today I decided it was a Pink Moon day, and since Pink Moon 2007 is stuck in my mailbox in Boston, this was it. ((inhales wrist)) mm! I'm so glad I have this space to just ramble on about how much I love the scent of things, because honestly, Pink Moon 05 is beautiful -- a sweet, light, springy floral with a delicately candyish tone that just makes me smile. Nessa might like this one. If I can find another 5mL of Pink Moon 05, I'll make up an imp of it for Nessa, along with an imp of my aged Snake Oil () and something else from my collection that she might like. Mayhap I'll send her some Shub, although I think that's more of a me scent than anything. Yaay enabling! I am eating physalis and enjoying them immensely. The tiny tangy orange fruit taste weird, almost tomatoey except I detest tomatoes, and on occasion I quite like them. It's like eating a concentrated summer day, complete with everything I love and everything I dislike.

The Girlfriend placed an order! All by herself! two 5mL's and an imp pack. I'm so proud... I am evil itself.

^_- riiight. Opened my PR journal today. Latest read: [username of my girl's ex-girlfriend]. This is the third or fourth time. I can understand being curious. But especially since /she/ dumped /Amy/, it's getting a little odd.

Entries: 33 Reads: 282 those can't /all/ be me and h_f. I guess it never seriously occurred to me that anyone would ever flip through this. ah well. I'll continue as I used to, treating it as a dumping-pit for my vapidity.

**inhales wrists deeply** aaaaaah. My gorgeous bottle is now about 10 months old. It smells duh-vine. I cannot wait until it is 3 years old... daaamn. I'm done now --- My perennial worry that my collection is too large has reached its zenith, I think. After the July moon, which is going to be preceded by big purchases for me -- the July Moon, the Cancer astrological blend, Blue Moon (two bottles), Brisingamen, and Tarot: The Hermit -- I'm going to start seriously culling, and swapping for the things I want. The rares I want to collect right nwo are: Ingenue Unseelie Storyville and that's about it. Almost anything for those three, but once I'm satisfied that I have enough of those, collecting is going to take a back seat. Here lies another possible-keepsies list: La Fee Verte Havisham Snake Oil Shub Snow Bunny Ingenue (duh) Dark Delicacies MB: Closet Hope Snow Angel Bruja Vieux Carre June Gloom (if I can collect enough... if not, she gets jettisoned) Unseelie (duh) Storyville (if I can collect enough)

Wow. Am I smelling the same scent? I get the fizzing hairspray note of Stardust too... but mine doesn't smell like candied fruits I wish it did. Mine smells green. Like celery. I'm serious, it smells like mysterious celery. no sugar. no sweetness. dries down to a waxy white floral with celery. thankfully other people seem to love this one because it has no home here.

I had a very strange reaction to something. Whether it was the fact that the stupid pharmacy gave me generic medication even when I wasn't prescribed generics (for those of us who are hypersensitive, yes, it doesmatter!) or something strange that my brain has been sitting on for a while -- yesterday I was terrified. Just generally. Terrified of getting raped walking from the cab to the side door in the dark, terrified that someone would break into the house while I was there all alone, and (curse my active imagination) terrified of SOMETHING being in the dark waiting to get me. I am not a superstitious person, but my imagination managed to conjure up more ghouls lurking in corners or squatting under my bed or peering beneath my door that when I woke up at 4AM and had to pee, I couldn't get back to sleep. It's hilarious now, but then, it was just -- scarily unlike me. Especially because the rational part of my brain was in overdrive the whole time telling stupid-me to stop being so ridiculous. Thank God for my kitty. she slept beside me all night -- n ot just on my bed, but pressed up against my leg, a warm comforting presence. after forty minutes of the-house-is-scarily-silent mute unreasonable terror, I finally got back to sleep. I woke up twice last night. I remember dreaming but don't remember what I dreamed.

Cash: $15 Cdn CIBC Debit: $25-35 Cdn (?) Citizens' Debit: $90 USD PayPal: $47.75 USD OWING -$40.75 USD -- Ebay seller -$10.55 USD -- decants -$22 USD -- Fee -$17 USD -- Hunter Moon etc. =Citizens' Debit: ~$50 -$40 Cdn -- April rave tickets (Daniel) CIBC Debit: $0-$10 I can do this. Not easily, but I can do this ____ MAY Citizens' Debit: $50 USD CIBC Debit: $80 Cdn Rave Tickets -$5 Cdn -- Cheap and Fun -$20 Cdn -- We're Old Skool -$20 (?) Cdn -- Funky Fresh -$20 (?) Cdn -- The Massacre =CIBC Debit: $15 Cdn ...and I'll still need to sell off some stuff in time for June/July :S

although this one was more strange than bad. This one was a bit hard to wake up from. I thought it was real for at least ten seconds after awakening, which is unlike me. I was me, and I still had a single mother -- but she wasn't like my mother at all. She was more like Isaac Meister's mother if Isaac's Mom was kind of vampy. My mother was five-foot-nine-and-a-half, had gorgeous feathery long brown hair, wore lipstick every day, always looked put-together, and hit on my boyfriend. SHe still had the same control issues though. In my dream, I was still dating Amy, and she still lived in MIchigan; but I was kind of seeing this fellow Dave (who doesn't seem to have a real-life analogue) who liked me but was also obviously attracted to my mother, who encouraged his attentions. I was worried that Dave was going to get the wrong idea, that he'd think we could date and have a relationship and all those things when according to Amy-rules, all I'm allowed to do is kiss him when she's not in the province (groping or clothing-removal counting as cheating -- these are the actual rules, by the way. so far I haven't exercised the privilege). In my dream, Dave and I had dinner plans for tonight, but because of Amy-stuff I was thinking about cancelling so Dave didn't get the wrong idea... and I coudl tell that my Mother was thinking of replacing me at hte dinner table... it was /very/ strange. :/

decants of the Ladies and a half of 13 (shipped to Canada) -- $10.55 decant of Fee -- $22 shipping for H&EE -- $11.45 ___ $44.00 And I have $97 --> $52 remaining for the rest of the month. To be used to buy rave tickets only!

Two Orders BLUE MOON -- in Early June 2x5mL Blue Moon $40 1x10mL Tarot: The Hermit $26.50 [$66.50] 1x5mL Brisingamen $15 [$81.50] s/h $7 [$88.50] JULY -- in Early June 1x5mL Cancer $20 1x5mL /July Moon/ $20 [$40] 1x5mL Boomslang $18 [$58] 1x5mL Moxie $26.50 [$84.50] s/h $9 [$93.50] I have some saving to do

so I guess it's a good thing that I'm not crazy about this update. While I'm eager to /try/ all three, and am prepared for the possibility that I might like any of them, none of them are scents I can't live without. Although admittedly I have a good feeling about this version of 13. I don't know why, because it has The Dreaded White Chocolate in it... but I've just got a feeling. there are only three spaces left in my "A" imp box, or will be when all of my scents arrive. My two Queen of Diamonds decants will be moved to their bottle and King of Diamonds will probably be swapped, filling up space that will be swiftly occupied by my shortie of Havisham. My "B" box is for blends to sell or swap, and my "C" box is intent blends. I need to start consolidating my collection... unfortunately, i'm emotionally attached to rather a lot of it. Which is absurd, given how many scents I have and how slowly I go through them. And I still need to buy 5mL's of Tarot: The Hermit and Brisingamen! Tarot: The Hermit especially is one I see using a lot of next year, for quiet study and reflection. On the up side, Snow Moon is lovely. I swapped my 5mL of Bitter Moon for it (as lovely as Bitter Moon is, the imp will suffice, I think -- I just wasn't wearing it that much :/) and I don't regret it. snow Moon is like all the parts I liked about Snow White, minus the parts that I didn't -- the watery coconut sweetness that drove me into headaches if I wore it for too long. Snow Moon is also a less-musky dead ringer for Ice Queen, which is good because I can wear it without feeling guilty about the cost of today's parfoom I have decided to keep Snake Charmer. I have so many snowy icy scents that as nice as Snow White 2004 is, I'm only a little sorry to see my 5mL go, and I /like/ Snake Charmer. It stays.

Have you considered looking for TAL decants? In particular, Brass Balls, Crucible of Courage and War sound like they might be appropriate for your situation. Other than that, you would want a crisp, clean scent -- while I understand Forspecial Plate's reasoning, I'd suggest going for something that at least /you/ will be able to smell while you're wearing it, that way you can "fortify yourself" in scent. How about something like Dirty? (crisp clean linen) it's a nice, simple "clean" scent to other people, but it's also very professional.. ETA: You could also go for something like Moxie, although buying a whole 10mL for one presentation might be a little much ^_~