Kitrona

Thank you. That helps. (Another semi-rough evening, so I'd say more but... I can't.)

Apparently we're not hearing back from the mortgage company today. Which isn't so great, because tomorrow we're going to Chinatown with a bunch of friends and won't be home. I'm really looking forward to going to Chinatown. I can get another medicine cup, since my last one broke, and make myself and the family medicinal teas. (They TASTE medicinal, too! But they work.) We can get a teapot, which we haven't had since the last one broke from overuse. I MIGHT be able to get sushi. (I love sushi. If I could eat it every day, especiall in the summer, I would. Happily. I even learned how to make some very basic sushi.) And we can hang out with our friends, who are usually very busy and don't have time to hang out at all, with anyone. I just hope I have enough energy to walk around. It's not a huge area, not like NYC's Chinatown, but it's kind of spread out oddly over a few blocks. Today I had my first bout of "morning" sickness so far this pregnancy. Oh, joy. It didn't help that I didn't get QUITE enough sleep, or that a friend called whose boyfriend I used to consider a friend. I sympathize with her completely, and I'm not sure I can be friends with someone who lies so constantly to himself and to everyone else. But I won't get into their issues... it's neither here nor there, and would take far more explaining than I care to do at the moment. But it added some stress. Then my son came home with a letter from the principal, his second time of seeing the principal this school year. Apparently, despite the long talk we had yesterday about responsibility and developing good habits, he got out of his seat at lunch without permission and ignored one of the lunch aides. And this happened more than once. Honestly, I cannot deal with that, plus my stress and tiredness and depression. Fortunately, I have the bestest husband I could ever have. He's not perfect, but he's as close to perfect for me as anyone I've ever met or even heard of. He knows I'm ground down to nearly nothing, emotionally, and he took charge, made new rules, and meted out the punishment. I am immensely grateful to him, if that wasn't obvious already. My husband then did the dishes, and I started dinner. I also had some miso soup someone sent me in a care package. I have no idea how they knew or guessed that I absolutely love miso soup, but I do. It's a comfort food, but it's actually not bad for me. We're planning to see if we can get some more packets, maybe tomorrow in Chinatown. I'll probably go to bed early tonight. My sleep schedule is beyond wonky, and last I heard, the plan was to leave for Chinatown around 11 am.

Ack, you jumped in while I was posting! Yeah, shouting into the void is a very good description. Occasionally I get back echoes, but rarely. I don't know why I feel like that's something that SHOULD happen, that people should respond, other than the fact that everyone always says the forums are so supportive. Apparently they neglect to add the all important caveat, "as long as you're one of the in crowd". Yep, outsiders no matter what is apt, too. So maybe we should create our own clique! I do appreciate all responses... it's nice to know that even if I am shouting into the void, there are other people who hear anyway, even if I don't see them. Maybe y'all are hanging off the same cliff I am! (I have a very clear mental image here of us all hanging from climbing ropes near a huge canyon... we can hear each other, but the others can't see us until we speak up.)

Thank you, all three of you. At least I know that people read my blog... I'd given serious thought to just scrapping it all. I probably am being too sensitive, but... well, I'm stressed. Like whoa. And while there's no fault there, it still doesn't give me the right to be snappish. Still, at least I kept it confined to here instead of saying something snarky on the board! Darkitysnark, I get what you're saying, and you're right. Some of it is that I just record what I'm feeling, not why. And it is difficult to get myself to post long diatribes about things when I'm feeling like gum on the bottom of someone's snowboot. inkdarkmoon, my husband said the same thing: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." And I understand what you're saying, too, about being shy and not wanting to intrude. I am getting to like the blog area... you really get to know people better here! kakiphony, thank you. It does help to know that people read and are rooting for me. Ironically, I'm not only an INFP, I'm also a Two on the Enneagram test, AND a double-Leo. So I've got this HUGE need for recognition, and I don't deal with stress well. It'll probably be a relief to know that I'm looking into therapy, so hopefully things like this will occur with less frequency.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I'd figured on a due date around mid-September. After all, that's when my son was born, and I'd found out he was on his way around the same time. However, I seem to be a little shaky on my counting-backwards skills. I had assumed I was about 3 or 4 weeks along, at most. Out of curiousity, though, last night I was tooling around the web and found a baby site, and was reading. Naturally, it had a due-date predictor. I plugged in the information requested, and got back mid-September as a due date. Ok, no surprise there. But it also said that I'm now 6 weeks along. I was not expecting THAT. I mean, it makes sense, but for some reason, my brain is still boggling. Still, I guess that's good. It doesn't really change anything except in my head, so it's really neither good nor bad. I also found out that I may be able (even encouraged) to get back on my antidepressants. That means I'll be able to sleep! And not be so cranky! And that will be good for all concerned.

*sighs* I went to bed at 9:30. This was early for me, but I was sleepy, and I didn't actually sleep until about 11. I woke up again at 2:30, and for 3 hours, I haven't been able to get back to sleep. This happened yesterday, too. I went to bed around 3:30 (normal for me) and couldn't sleep until 8. I am frustrated. (And hungry again, but I don't think that has anything to do with it... my tummy's not growling.) I wish I could take something to help me sleep, but that's not a good idea. Tea didn't work, trying to bore myself to sleep didn't work, and I can't think of anything else. ARGH.

Thanks. I figured out the problem... I wasn't eating enough. Doh. I've been spending today mostly sleeping. And the frustrating part about yesterday was that I've been doing all the right things! No caffiene, no TV in the bedroom, the room is dark... well, I go to bed when I'm tired, but that's it. And I haven't been exercising. But the sleep today has been DELICIOUS.

The big news for today was that I went to a birthday party. Had fun, stayed for 3 hours, am now exhausted. Kitty told me I look dehydrated, and that I'm growing my water sac (which sounds really really gross), so I need to drink more water. And it's fairly obvious to me that /something's/ going on down there, because my "yay I lost weight" pants are now tight. Ugh. The only other pants I have to wear are the jeans that I can literally pull off without buttoning. Now I'm cold and tired. I think I will crash. Oh yeah, and we called the realtor back that called us twice yesterday. He said he'd call us back, and didn't. That, combined with the fact that his email to us of two sentences had several grammar errors, tells me we'll be going with another realtor.

Wow. So I'm finally starting this blog, now that I've got something to blog about. This will start out as a record of my pregnancy. I am now, by my estimation, between two weeks and a month pregnant. I'll find out for sure on Monday, when I go see Dr. Bukata, who may or may not end up being my ob for good. My friend Kitty (also my teacher, mentor, and HPS) is going to ask her doctor on Tuesday if he has any recommendations. The area they work out of is actually closer than where Dr. Bukata works out of, and the hospital they're based in... well, Kitty's aunt is the head of surgery... something. She schedules the nurses for surgery. Anyway, so things are looking interesting on that front. We have something else big that's getting underway, sort of related to the baby and such, but I want to keep it under wraps until it's more underway than it is now. So that's that. Today... ugh. Cookies and sweet pickles and a tuna salad sandwich. And more soymilk than I usually drink. We don't do regular cow's milk, because I have trouble with it. But I usually don't drink it, because we save it for tea and cereal, things like that. But cookies cannot be eaten without milk! Very sleepy. I think I'll go to bed sometime soon.

I can be a pregnant skunk? Dreams are so strange sometimes, aren't they? I woke up the other day with "Magical Trevor" in my head because I dreamed about a guy named Trevor.

Thick, dark, sluggish and heavy with indolence: vetiver over black myrrh. I will have to retest this one. I have what I assume to be an aged half-imp (it's tarted), and when I first tested it, I spiraled into a depression. Must try again when I'm on an even keel. Funny how scent can affect so strongly.

I got this as a frimp from a friend, and wow! I normally hate honeysuckle, but this scent makes it something I like. Also, the perfect scent for Anathema Device (points to anyone who knows who she is or what she's from). This I will wear when I have to lay my shit on the line and absolutely be heard.

Chiming in for Depraved. An apricot orchard just after the rain, and something's been digging. <3

Wet, I smell the lightning storm. Dry on me, the floral comes out, but it's not an obnoxious floral, rather something exotic and wet with the rain. Storm-tossed bushes of some sort of flower, waving in the wind, illuminated by intermittent flashes of lightning... yeah, this is a keeper.

I got a decant of this and tried it. Wet, it was the grass after an early summer storm, with kids in galoshes splashing in puddles. When it dried, it was a later summer storm, at night, warm and mysterious and daring me to go out and play in the rain. Additionally, I find it helps a bit with my depression. This is a must-have for me.

I am in love with this. I forgot what the notes were, so when I got a decant and put it on, I was very pleasantly surprised. Yummy tea with honey and mint.... mmmm.... I just wish it would linger a bit more.

I love Bengal. It's got the sweet bite of honey, a nip of ginger (one of my favorites!) and cinnamon. I visualize this as a warm, golden smell. The cinnamon doesn't seem to make me itch on my wrists, but cleavage turned bright red within minutes of putting it on. May have to dilute a bit.

This was really good on me, and even better on my husband. I can't identify actual notes, but I like it enough to consider a bottle.

I wanted to like this, I really did. Unfortunately, in imp it smelled like a public bathroom air freshener. I tried it anyway, knowing how scents can morph and hoping that it would change. It did. Unfortunately, it turned from "public bathroom air freshener" into "public bathroom /with/ air freshener" complete with pee undertone. I plan to send it to a friend and enable her. I hope it likes her better than it liked me.

Yes, but for legal reasons, they may have to contraindicate everything. I personally have never heard that mint was bad during pregnancy, but I'd recommend emailing the lab for specific ingredients, then asking a doctor or herbalist.

A salacious, lecherous, leering scent - dirty and dark, slapped with a wet sweetness. Earthy black patchouli swelling with apricot. I love this scent. I actually wore it by accident; I opened the imp and got some on my fingers in the process. I was initiallyl hesitant about it because I do NOT like patchouli... it makes me nauseous. But after sniffing this for a bit, I realized my past encounters with patchouli were when it was being used to cover up pot smoke - and I'm allergic to pot. So, I sniffed this for a while on my fingers, loving the earth and apricot and the way they fuzed, and decided to take it for a spin today. I actually got decent throw! My skin tends to eat scents for breakfast, but this one was still noticeable after 6 hours or so. I truly love the earthy smell to this, and have discovered I tentatively like patchouli. The apricot sweetened it all up, but not too much... I didn't get attacked by my friend's sweet-toothed dog, at least! Definite wear again, maybe get more. ADDED Dec. 29: I absolutely love this scent. It smells like an orchard at night on me, and is perfect for warm weather. I picture a couple meeting in the orchard, gettin' dirty, and laying together afterward, just breathing, before they have to get dressed and go to their separate houses. Sadly, I lost my imp, so I must order a bottle. Oh darn.

Interesting thread... thanks for bringing it back up.

I wasn't sure about this one, since the one experience I've had with Dragon's Blood gave me a headache. Straight from the imp, though, I really liked this. I decided to wear it to Pagan Pride Day, since it was all outside and none of these scents were likely to get me stung by bees. On me, it was dark and smoky and lovely. Unfortunately, it tended to fade fast, and I had to reapply several times during the day. Maybe I'll try figuring out how to layer it so it has more throw. In any case, I really liked it, and I might spring for a bottle. I certainly won't be giving this one away until I have more.

Eat Me has, unfortunately, underwhelmed me. It's almost too sweet, even on drydown. Could be the currants... I don't really smell the cakes. It seems to have a lot of throw, though that's not unusual for my skin. I'm afraid I'll have to wash it off before it gives me a headache. I wanted to love it... I'll hold on to it and see if I like it better later. ETA: Silly me, forgetting about aging on skin. Now it smells like white cake and jellybeans, and while the overall impression is 'innocent', there's some sort of darkly playful undercurrent. Much, much better. I want to wear this tomorrow, when I'll be out in public and can shock people with the name. *evil grin* Then again, considering where I'm going, some might take that as invitation, and I don't need that. I'll stick with what I had planned.

*whimper* My imp of O got beheaded, so I figured, why not try it and save the bit of oil that was on the wand? I found out why not. Nearly the instant I put it on, it went powdery. I blame the amber, I think. I'm unsure whether it will get annoying or not, but it's definitely not sexy or defiled. Will edit when it's aged on my skin. ADDED August 27: O and I are a bad match. I'll be finding someone to enable with this. Unfortunately, everyone I've tried it on so far has not liked it.