TrailerTrashPrincess

i like dirt. or, as we're fond of saying at the DSLE, i'm a dirt-y girl. there are a couple of us there (Hi Eoife!) so i tend to want to at least try all possibly dirt-heavy blends. for my Graveyard Dirt obsessionistas out there? i get none of that here. i love the Lab's roses, but i also don't get any rose bloom here. lotsa rose bush/stem/leaves smell (i used to hang out inside a gigantic rose bush, for hours at a time, so i know that scent well). i do get something nose-pinchy and dusty smelling that reminds me of vetiver (but without the wet paper bag full of cigarette ashes-y-ness) but isn't. maybe some sort of bitter patchouli? none of my gramma's cedar chest. maybe a bitter sandalwood? if Down The Rabbit Hole is to girly-rosy-sweet for you, this might be just your cuppa. i'm glad i got to try this, but it isn't something i'll ever want to wear.

i love so many of the Lab's rose-heavy blends. and i have countless straight-up rose perfumes and perfume oils. it was one of the first scents i loved as a little girl, and i still love it. this is so similar to The Bear Prince from this year's Yules. so very, very similar. i don't care for Snow White at all, or most of the "snow" notes in other things. but i like Snow-Flakes. and this (and The Bear Prince) are like Snow-Flakes, with roses. that one has musk, this one has amber (not baby powder). i think this one might be slightly more wearable for me, but they're really similar.

i have, over the course of the last four decades, been in many "new age" type stores, hippie shops, head shops, occult emporiums, etc etc, whatever you want to call the places that sell crystals, incense, and interesting decorative doodads. the ones with a large incense selection have a fairly similar base smell. the combined fragrance of all those different incense types... and i love that smell. there were things i picked up at Rhiannon's store (Blue Moon?) in Carrollton back when i was in college and they kept that smell for months and i adored it. mostly Nag Champa, with a little sandalwood, and a bit of some of the other more popular Airs scents (Egyptian Musk, China Moon, Kashmir, and Tropical Ocean). it is crazy how much this smells like Rhiannon's shop. the second location, the bigger one, with the big fountain and the claw-foot tub. and cow-print bathroom. and basement. i liked the smell of the old location (the smaller one, across the street) better, for whatever reason. but this is straight up 1996 new age shop. there's definitely some of the headache-inducing acquatic type notes going on in here, and it smells salty. but it doesn't smell like a perfume... it just smells like how everything you own might smell if you either owned or burned that much incense, constantly. with salt. i can't stop huffing my arm, but it is making my head hurt. i want to love it, but i don't think i can wear it.

as my bottle of this, bought in 2006, is moving on to a better home i thought i'd add the notes from my spreadsheet: Snow White's identical twin cousin. White grew up in a fancier house, with wealthier parents who were more standoffish. that house is probably all white, with white carpet and rugs and glass everywhere. the kind of house you don't really *live* in, you just kinda stay in.... y'know? Flakes' folks don't come from money (White's mom married well, i guess?) so they're not as fancy, but they love their kid and will go outside and play so sometimes they come back into the house, all covered in leaf-bits and yard debris, a little muddy, but happy. nature versus nurture. nearly the same scent, but one is off-putting and the other is almost comforting. how's that work?

so... however many years ago now, Jessica Simpson had a "dessert treats" collection with a scent called Butterscotch Toffee. i really liked it, and i still have some of that one (and a couple of the others - this was years and years before "Fancy"). the perfumes and dusting powders had both scent and flavor (and artificial sweeteners) and i really liked that they tasted nice! and whoo boy were they strong (scent-wise, not taste-wise). this reminds me SO MUCH of that Butterscotch Toffee, to the point that i don't need both. and since i have more of the JS version, and more products to layer, this one's getting rehomed. eta: talk about staying power! about six hours after i tested a drop (one drop!) of this from a pipette, my mom walked past me and asked if it was maple syrup she was smelling. nearly 24 hours later, i still catch a whiff of it when i move.

the violets here aren't quite the same powdery-dusty (Chowards~ish) ones i'm used to in BPAL. dandelion SN is amazing, and some of my favourite BPAL scents are heavy on the dandelion. i also love the Lab's dirt, and dirt~y scents, although some of the ones that have rocks (castle walls, cement, etc) in them don't do so well for me. Lyre-leaved sage grew wild near the house where i grew up, although i don't remember it having a scent. pretty purple leaves, though! yes, i researched all the plants that grew in the empty lots near my mom's house and in my daddy's "back 40". if none of the adults knew what it was, i'd take a clipping to the library to research. nowadays i'd have used the internet, but this was the early-to-mid 80s! sniffed from the bottle & wet on skin: that berry/dark cherry flavor in adult cough medicine. bitter and medicinal, although thankfully without the menthol. also confusion, because wtf? on skin, after it settles down: no more medicine-berry-WTFness! sweet, non-powdery, something purple so i guess violets? no dandelions, and nothing that makes me think of dirt or rocks. sweeter than i would have thought. after around an hour: this is a pretty scent. if it had a different name and was available from the Lab directly instead of only Dark Delicacies, i bet it would be way more popular. or if it was called Lavender Lace (even though it doesn't have that ~Lace note) or something? it reminds me of something (non-BPAL), maybe a fancy salon shampoo?** after about two hours: i still keep catching the occasional almost-whiff of a sweet black cherry type scent from this five hours : slightly floral, feminine shampoo. **yes! salon shampoo. Sebring, the dark red one. the salon my mom went to (to get a "curly") when i was little (which is, oddly enough, just around the corner from where i live now. or what's left of the building, anyway) used Sebring products and had three huge drums of shampoo in the back room where you could refill your bottles for less than the cost of buying new ones. the stylist (a transplant from Hollywood) used the volumizing one on me, one for permed hair for my mom, and the other one, the red one, i only ever got to sniff a few times. i think it was for "regular" hair. this reminds me of that. and the coke machine where you lifted the lid, put in a coin, and worked the bottle through a maze-like labyrinth to get to where you could pull it up and out (the coin worked the release mechanism - kinda like a subway entrance?)

this has that same "Lace" ~ish-ness as the other ones i've tried from Dark Delicacies. i know i tried Antique Lace, once upon a time, and i know i didn't much care for it but i don't remember much else. i have (or have had) many of, if not all of (i dunno?) the other Champagne scents... the &Opium, &Roses, &Chocolate, &Party Hats... as well as the Peach, Sangria, Absinthe, Blood & Pink ones. plus the unreleased bath oil from the Post. get where i'm going here? i adore that champagne note. and also frankincense. that bubbly, fizzy, hard to describe, somewhere between resin and tea leaves kinda thing. this... isn't that. so if the usual champagne note doesn't work for you, don't be afraid of this one. this is a lot more resin-y. i've tried it a couple of times and i keep feeling like it is familiar. my head says Jacob's Ladder but i haven't tried that one in so long i could jut be scent-hallucinating or misremembering? i get that ~Lace note, plus an almost woody, resin-y feel. no vanilla to speak of, smoked or otherwise.

2015 version. i don't use fabric softener on towels, or my handkerchiefs, or my husband's bandannas. (that softness takes away absorbency - that's why "hotel towels" seem so much nicer - they don't have that fabric softener residue, so they're super absorbent!) i use a vinegar rinse. plain, usually, but whenever we have citrus fruits (satsumas or clementines, mostly, because that's what i like) i put the peels in a glass jar and add vinegar to the jar and let them soak for a few weeks. then i strain liquid into another jar - to use in the laundry, and for cleaning - and because i wedged the jar so full of peels, i have to reach in and pull the gunky, slimy, semi-pickled citrus peels out. and that almost pickled citrus vinegar-y rind smell really sticks to my hands. and here's a tiny little bottle just full of it.

i avoid most pear based scents because for some reason the pear scent used in the fragrance & perfume world has what i can only unfortunately call a sweaty note. in an unwashed and unpleasant way. i haven't experienced that before with a peach scent -- i wore The Body Shop's "fuzzy peach" perfume oil regularly for well over a decade, will happily pick up peach scented body care products, and one of my favourite hard candies is peach flavoured -- but i have now. twice in one week, from two different companies no less! i picked up "Georgia Peach & Sweet Tea" ('cuz, y'all, i am one, and sweet tea is one of the best things ever) from Bath & Body Works around the same time that this Peach Pie was delivered and they've both got this salty-sweaty-B/O thing going on. as far as food goes, i've had peach cobbler way more than i've ever had peach pie - unless the hand-held fried pies count? - but this just doesn't seem anywhere near sweet enough for a peach pie. i think someone used nectarines instead of peaches in my bottle and maybe used bitter splenda instead of sugar in a very boo-inducing switcheroo.

i finally figured out what this reminds me of. about six years ago i picked up some fragrance oil -for soapmaking, etc- in a scent called "pumpkin cornbread"... and wow but these are similar!

i dislike cranberries. and most pine or "snow" type scents. we do keep a can of cranberry sauce in the pantry, and we get it out, dust it off, and wave it (and the Festive Ridges) near foods that normally call for having it as a side dish. then put it back in the cabinet, in the back corner of the top shelf. i think it expired three years ago, but it serves the purpose. i also have a tiny single-serve container (like the jelly containers from restaurants?) of it in the fridge. because it entertains me to have a shooter of Ocean Spray cranberry sauce. really, i'm easily entertained. my high school boyfriend used to say i could entertain myself for hours with a blank wall, a rubber band, and a permanent marker. he wasn't entirely wrong, and i wouldn't even need the marker. but in my opinion, the reason this garland was unsuccessful is because it was being made with vintage bottles of early 90s Sun Ripened Raspberry products from Bath & Body Works. i happen to have a little bit left of that scent (i've been trying to finish it up for 20 years! i don't much like it - it smells like all the mean girls - but it was a gift so ....) and while not as close as Edith Cushing to a warm-vanilla-sugar/frosted-cupcake hybrid, i think it is definitely in Sun-Ripened Raspberry realm. and i bet those bottles are real hard to string up and get on the tree.

i like bananas - but i like them when the skin is more black than yellow. my mom likes 'em green and i think they're gross like that. i also really, really, really like that fake banana flavour. the outer coating on the banana runts (not the sour, powdery inside, though), Laffy Taffy, and most of all, the wondrous banana milkshakes from Checkers. there's a grocery store that was around the corner from my best friend's apartment, back when he was still in Atlanta, and the store brand included a banana ice cream! i'd top it with some 99Bananas. so good. i also like real banana pudding - which can only be made with pudding cooked on a stovetop, and topped with beaten egg whites that are then toasted to a golden brown. the banana parfait made with instant pudding and cool-whip is a different thing altogether. but i don't think i've ever had a banana cream pie. mostly because they all seem to have that coconut-oil-filled cream goop and those spongy crusts which i just can't bring myself to consume. then there's the echo of Stan Gable's voice saying "that's my pie" that i hear in my head, and i just can't. but enough about my head. this is a definite banana scent. but it is more like the banana flavour from a banana moonpie, or instant banana flavoured pudding mix. which is a different flavour from all the other things i blathered about a few lines up... which is a different flavour altogether. but there's also that coconut/palm oil note in there, too. not enough to say it is a coconut-banana scent, but if you're like me and the least little bit of coconut or palm oil in something is enough to turn your tummy, well, then be warned. i think this is a paper umbrella away from being a virgin cocktail, more than an item on the dessert cart.

i was in the middle of typing up a review when i remembered something... i haven't had actual key lime pie in decades - more than 25 years. what i have had, and what i always think of as key lime pie, is actually key lime cheesecake. obviously, this is very different from key lime cheesecake. this oil does, however, remind me quite a lot of the fancy key lime cookies i used to sometimes buy myself as a treat.

as this is going to a better home, here's my quickie note-to-self: both Urd-y and Smut-like, but with bitter black berries and none of their sweetness. not as purple as High John. i had hoped for more of the rich dark musk.

it has been... oh, maybe a week since the last time i made an apple pie. and maybe two weeks before that was the time before. in other words, that's something that happens often around these parts. admittedly, i prefer nutmeg and vanilla to cinnamon, but still... back when my mom was having radiation treatments, the clinic had a hot water dispenser in the waiting area, and individual packets of hot chocolate, and of apple cider. i'd never had instant apple cider before, and that stuff was tasty. terrible association, with my mom being so sick (she's fine now, y'all, this was 17 years ago!) but that stuff was good. (Alpine brand, nothing fancy. available pretty much everywhere. also tasty when mixed into plain oatmeal) and this... is like that instant apple cider. i'm quite happy with it, and will consider it an Apple Cider scent.

i adore pecan pie. it and pineapple-upside-down-cake are my favourite desserts. plain (no almond or lemon or sauce of any kind, thanks) cheesecake rounds out the top three. also, born and raised in Georgia. sooo... this ain't pecan pie. i'm not sure what it is. it is fruity (like figs or dates?) and cinnamon-sugar-y. and like the bitters from the middle of the nut. and one of those bread-like, squishy pie crusts. once, when my dad and i were making a whole bunch of pecan pies we had more crust and filling components than we did pecans, so we made a couple of experimental pies. including one made with sunflower seeds (from our own garden), one made with cashews, and one that was just filling and crust. even the bizarre sunflower seed one we made was more pecan pie-like than this. perhaps this is a date-nut-cinnamon-roll?

i don't care for fresh blueberries. they're ok, i'll happily nom them if they're given to me but i won't buy them. i haven't ever had blueberry cream pie, or any kind of blueberry pie. i do like blueberry muffins! i fondly remember making them (from a box) when i was little, and the little shiny can of blueberry goo that smelled so good! that "cream" note scares me because all too often it goes to that palm-oil note that smells too much like coconut and means i can't do it. sniffed from the bottle, this reminds me of that can of blueberry goo. super thick and concentrated since it was meant to be stirred into the muffin batter. on skin, it quickly goes straight to Otis Spunkmeyer Wild Blueberry Muffin. y'know, the gigantic, individually wrapped ones in convenience stores and gas stations? i don't care how terrible-for-you they are, those things are amazing. and now they are bottled!

i don't have my notes handy but i remember when i sniffed/tried the prototype we had of this at the DSLE that it was super strong on the vetiver. this one, and Beware, were my least favourites by a huge margin. as scented as that room becomes, i try to not judge things too harshly in that environment because until i get them home and can test them properly, i can't always tell if the good ones are really that amazing, or if the middle-of-the-road ones might be nice, or best left alone. anyway, while i have them here i'm working on testing and reviewing. so tonight i tested this. sniffed from the bottle, it smells brown. and a prickly sort of fuzzy. like the "flocked" stickers from the early-to-mid 80s. not soft by any means, not plush, but an interesting texture. i'd have described it as a warm light brown (a hue like coffee-with-a-lot-of-cream - no coffee in the scent, just using that as a colour reference, mind!) musk. and just a little bit of that almost vanillabean that is Tonka. i tested a tiny drop, and was afraid of the vetiver. but instead it got warmer and browner and was kinda nice for a little while. after an hour, though, it started morphing and became way more masculine smelling... and here after nearly three hours it is making my teeth hurt, and giving me a sick headache. that creamy light brown musk has become something else, like it wants to be Drakkar Noir when it grows up (and no smell gives me a migraine faster than that stuff!) and now i must go scrub my arm.

i don't eat pork of any kind. the smell of it cooking gives me physical pain - the specific smell of bacon frying will leave me doubled over feeling like someone is stabbing me with a hot knife. so i was really, really afraid of this. my point of reference isn't the best, but it smells a lot like Bac~Os bacon bits (which are pork-free, Kosher, and vegan!) my husband has a small ham roast in the oven (i think he's upset because i've been calling it Hamlet) (but i'm upset because the smell of it makes me feel ill!) and while this one has some sort of glaze on it, there's still that underlying oink-smell, so yeah, this oil is freakishly dead-on. if, y'know, you wanna smell like a pork roast. beware of dogs?

not a proper review, but a quick series of impressions. the oil is a surprisingly dark, molasses-y type of colour, and it started off reminding me of some of my favourites - Smut, Scherezade, Elephantine Colossus, Voodoo Queen, etc - just at first. it settled down quickly and became more of a honey scent. me & the Lab's honey don't get on well. what this reminded me of, the most, was having my teeth stuck together and being afraid to move my jaw lest i rip out a filling, after having accidentally bitten down on a Pine Bros Softish Throat Drop!

not a proper review, but here's the experience i had with this the other night... all the bottles i got had oil the same golden-clover-honey type colour. wet in the bottle i got a faint hairspray (white rain, specifically) type note, then the dab i tried on became warmer and a little foodier... i was reminded bit of the Eat Me / Drink Me series, briefly. it is certainly more golden and apricot-y than i would have expected based on the notes. i don't really get plum or violet, but i can see how my head interpreted the rest as more like dried apricots.

i was afraid of this one because i expected it to be all ashes-and-smoke, more like Bonfire SN than anything else. but i can only guess that this is cinders from a tarted-up yule log or something? because there's nothing ashtray-ish about this. i was pleasantly shocked! my first thought was (to the tune of "chestnuts roasting on an open fire") Pine-Sol roasted on an open fire. but that quickly settled down, and lost the acrid topnote, and warmed up. warmed up so much that it became almost that stereotypical "christmas scent" you get in potpourri and such... that really myrrh-y scent? but not quite. not quite a win, for me, but oceans away from what i was expecting!

so after all these years, this bottle is being rehomed. so before it moves on, here's what's in my notes: green water. cucumber puree. the salt-and-bleach smell of a day spa. makes me feel uncomfortable, like i'm someplace i'm not supposed to be.

plum, in BPAL, is a note that i don't have any real opinion of. it is in some blends i like, and in some blends i don't. vetiver, well, just no. i adore patchouli, i like most real oudhs, and except for white musk, i pretty much like 'em all. in the bottle & wet on skin : plum & vetiver. i was vaguely reminded of The Black Temple Burlesque Troupe, but i couldn't tell you why. it didn't last long, though. once it settles in, and for the next 12 hours or so, it stays pretty linear: stale cigarette smoke, dust, and hints of expensive perfume. or, possibly, very much like the smell of an elevator in a private, upscale building. i couldn't tell you if it is because of this oil, or because it is winter and my skin is dry, but i put this on the tops of both hands and they've been incredibly itchy all night.

being very much NOT a vetiver fan... sniffing the prototype of this was like torture. it was so perfectly named. i tried for several hours to work up the nerve to give it first a good sniff, and then an actual skin test. i barely sniffed it. i admit i did not skin test the prototype and would not have tested the final released version except i did, by accident, while decanting. without vetiver, this would likely have been a blend i really enjoyed. as it is, i just can't.