yamiko

Woe is me. I don't have the size crochet hook I need to start on my penis.

My cat breathes in her sleep as loudly as Noah does.

Sometimes I wonder if I was dumped because my ambitions extended farther than sleeping all day.

I'm crocheting a Cthulhu hat. You know you're jealous.

If I ride my bike down to #freeconeday, the calories don't even count, right?

I really hate men.

Why did replacement girlfriend decide it was time to play "go in the bathroom and for a half hour and clear my throat"?

Cthulhu hat is finished: http://t.co/m4fDWao

My cats' philosophy on mischief is "If I do something bad, then run away really quickly, Mom won't know it happened."

The weirdest things are trending today.

If these wrinkles under my eyes don't go away, I might have to write up a Craigslist ad looking for virgin blood donors.

Detour. http://t.co/UCTGWJt

Oh yes, bottle of wine. Make sweet love to me.

I don't want to work on a Saturday! I want to roll around in bed all day.

Oh wow... a whole season of an anime for $30? I remember when one VHS containing three episodes was that much. #backinmyday

I smell like a chaotic evil halfling cleric. #bpal

If you have dietary restrictions, I shouldn't have to walk you through what you can eat at the buffet. The ingredients are listed.

At a masquerade party eating French fries in my Cthulhu hat. #youwishyouwereme

If I don't get my @zomgsmells order today, heads will roll at the Post Office. It was marked as delivered yesterday, but no package. >

A guy left a cloud of axe body spray around my register. I cannot express how turned on I am right now. #sarcasm

I hate everything. Why did I have to go and get sick?

Noah DJing @ Parima http://instagr.am/p/DXQaj/

#BPAL of the day: Ginger Skulls!

Just got caught up on #FreshHell.

Watching old Twilight Zone episodes on Netflix.