antimony

I'm omitting pictures of my Strawberries, herbs, and the experimental tomato - they all look pretty much the same as they did last week. (The experimental tomato plant actually has a couple of teeny tiny tomatoes forming under spent blossoms) So, without further ado... Check out my tomato!!!! Right now, it's about the size of a large blueberry. I have a couple of other really tiny ones starting to form elsewhere as well. The plant itself is turning into a one-plant jungle: We had a big thunderstorm over the weekend, and the Habanero took off! Two buds are open now, I'm really looking forward to having real home-grown peppers. My Morning Glories/Moonflowers have started actually making vines. I will be making a twine treliss for them this weekend, as soon as I'm sure where on the balcony I want them to grow. And finally, I rescued an aloe from Lowes this weekend. It was the only one they had, there was barely any soil in the pot, the poor thing was just rattling around in the pot. It did, however, look essentially healthy, so I had to bring it home. I trimmed two of the leaves, the bent one in the front, so it would have a clean cut to heal, and the one directly in the back, because it had a lot of dark spots. Anyway, I took it to work on Monday. I read up on re-potting aloes, and consequently, I haven't actually watered it yet so that the roots can heal from being disturbed before getting wet. I'm going to try and hold off until monday before watering it, but it's hard, because I really want to baby it.

I have a great book called "The Bountiful Container" that is a thorough reference about every kind of edible that can be grown in a container. I like container gardening better anyway. Less problems with bugs or disease, almost no weeding, and I get a warm feeling from having all of that lush vegitation on my balcony. I can't wait until I have clusters of ripening tomatoes and peppers.

Ear mites can do a number on kitty's balance, and even on their personality. It's really weird having things crawling around inside your skull. I suspect the kitty's listing will go away once the mites are treated.

Strawberries: These are going nowhere. Not dying, but not thriving either. Roses: I'm so sick of these fussy bitches. I am seriously tired of the fact that the relatively benign incecticidal soap I'm using only keeps the aphids at bay for about 3 days at a time. Habanero: It's putting out glossy green leaves all over, and there's almost a dozen buds on top. Hanging Tomato: If you scroll down, a week ago, the plant came half way up to the hook, now they're way up there, I'm curious how huge this thing will get! It's got 2 sets of open flowers, and 2 sets of brand new buds. I will hopefully have a ton of tomatoes. Experimental Tomato: It's clearly not thriving, but it's not dead yet either. It's also got a cluster of flowers. Morning Glories and Moonflowers: Both have started growing vines. I'm curious just how fast they're really going to take off.

99% of tomato varieties would be hanging down by now. What I didn't realize until I got mine home and looked it up on the interntet is that I got a fairly new type of tomato, a "dwarf indeterminate" - and that the dwarf varieties have really really thick stems, and aren't really vine-like at all. If I had gotten basically any of the other tomatoe varieties they had at home depot, yes, I would have had vines falling over the side. Once it has tomatoes on it to weigh some of the branches dowm, I think it will settle into a fountain or umbrella shape, with the heavy stems still sticking straight up, but the branches with the tomatoes on them kind-of cuving back down. If I ever have a house with a sunny front entrance, I would love to plant two of these in those stand-up urn type planters on either side of the doorway. I think they would look spectacularly lush, plus they have pretty flowers, and tomatoes are a nice plus too. And yeah, the "vegetable" tag in the strawberries is silly, but honestly, I'm doubting if I'll be getting any fruit either. Damn prissy little plants. I know people buy ladybugs to eat aphids, but I can't imagine dumping a whole handful of them on my half a dozen container plants.

I gave my last employer a month's notice because I did a lot of stuff no one else in the office did. I spent my last three weeks twiddling my thumbs, and my training of the people taking over my work amounted to maybe 6 or 8 hours of going over stuff. No matter how attached he is to the projects he has spent his blood sweat and tears on, the company is almost certainly not as interested as transition/change management as he is. They will probably have him write up some process summaries, maybe walk someone through what gets done regularly... and in the end, whoever takes over his work will just get thrown in head first and told to figure it out. That's what has happened to me every time I've taken over something from someone who left, at either of my "real jobs" If he tells a future employer, "I can start in 2 weeks, but I already have a trip planned for september and will need a week off then, most employers are willing to work with that. Also, I still keep in touch with my old coworkers, even though I moved half a country away. They won't like him any less for doing what's best for himself. Business is business, and the fact is, you always have to look out for number one, because no one else in your office will do it for you. So the social aspect is not reason enough to stay in an otherwise bad situation. Therapy, and any other stress management techniques he can get himself into are key. All jobs have some stress, and if he can't deal with it, then he'll be perpetually unhappy. Especially if his whole work life has been stressful and miserable, at some point he has to ask the question, "Do I pick bad companies, or do I do something to bring on the unhappiness?" - either way, it's something he needs to work on in himself. What is his ultimate career goal? Where does he want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years? These don't have to be Stalin-esque unreasonable milestones, just his best honest aspirations. The question that follows from this is "Is my current situation advancing me towards my goals?" Again referencing my own experience, my ultimate 5-ish year goal is to work in "cyber insurance" (insuring against computer network failure and intrusion) - I strongly believe this will be a hugely growing sector of the insurance market, and honestly I find it interesting. To get to this point, I need to get experience in P&C (property and casualty) insurance products, and progress through my exams in the Casualty Actuarial Society. In my previous job, I was working in Health insurance, and was on track to take exams through the Society of Actuaries. My old job was actually taking me further and further from where I wanted to be. I know this is a rambling mess, but you guys have a lot of opportunities ahead of you, and this is a great time to prepare yourselves so the job change thing can be a big step forward instead of a stressful crisis.

I've been thinking about it... And what comes to mind is that there is that when women's sexual sin is discussed in the context of religion, it is usually about how women use their sexuality to tempt men and lead them astray (The story of Adam and eve is one example, clothing restictions for Muslim and Orthodox Jewish women are another - And I doubt these themes are restricted to the judeo-christian tradition). So in that respect, even women's sexual sin is about men being oversexed.

So Rusty had to go back in to work today. He left at 6, and I was expecting him at home around 8-ish. Just before 8, I heard an indistinct scratching rattle noise outside. I thought it was Rusty digging through his pockets for his keys. To be nice, I opened the front door. Immediately, something furry ran in, and I squealed and ran out. Anyway, I hung out in the breezeway, nearly hyperventilating, for about 10-15 minutes until he got home, and met him out in the parking lot, then explained quite panickedly about the situation and why I couldn't go back inside until he took care of the unidentified creature. Please note we have the worlds two most useless cats. Carmen is old and very blase about such things, she would not wake up from her beauty sleep for some random woodland creature. Pushkin just gets bewildered. Anyway, Pushkin was some use, he was able to lead Rusty to where the creature was cowering. Rusty ended up putting a box over it, and sliding another piece of cardboard underneath. We took the box out to the nearest stand of trees (our apartment complex is kind-of built around existing clumps of trees. It looks beautiful, but sometimes I feel like we're a little *too* close to nature) It turns out the unexpected houseguest was a very cute, but completely terrified squirrel. Poor guy. I wonder what convinced him to scratch on my door to get in.

Woah. Ew. Woah. No, really, eew. Yikes. I'm going to go wash my eyeballs now.

Why is he putting off looking for a new job? If he starts looking for a new job right away, then if something really great comes his way, he can quit the awful job ealier, and you guys may not have to face any time when he's unemployed. But regardless, I will hope for you that there won't be any "suburban cream" paint in your future.

So I took the exam about 3 weeks ago... It took me this long to recover enough to be willing to blog about it! Anyway, The test was 4 hours and 35 questions. All calculation/numerical questions, but multiple choice, so no opportunity for partial credit if you make arithmetic mistakes. Although it's against the rules, a lot of people take their MC letter answers out of the test. The evening of the test (after the sittings are done in all time zones) one person will usually volunteer to run the PAK (popular answer key), and everybody sends them their answers. They then create a key based on the idea that usually wrong answers are fairly evenly distributed between the different wrong answer choices (with the exception of tricky questions that trick people into one specific wrong answer) so that the right answers are usually the plurality of answers for each question. The PAK is usually right to within a question or 2. According to the PAK, I got 24/35. The pass mark is usually 21-22. (The pass mark is set each sitting after the tests are all scored. Although the societies say that the exams are not "curved", it's pretty clear that the pass mark is usually set to keep the passing percentage pretty steady) I'm not going to tempt fate by claiming I passed, but the odds are pretty decent I may have pulled it off. I won't know officially until July 14.

Just 18 hours to go! So anxious. I think I'm pretty ready, but I won't know for sure until tommorrow morning. Ooof. Unfortunately, there is a lot more on these exams than can be tested in 35 questions, so the tests are *very* different from sitting to sitting. There is a certain element of chance about whether or not the material on the exam overlaps well enough with the stuff I've studied. I could get blindsided. Anyway, thanks for all of your well wishes!

I've been meaning to write about it, but the trauma was so fresh... It took me a while to be ready, but I think I can manage it now.

Wow, that's insane! I am very, very glad to hear you're ok!

Because the forum limits the number of pictures per post, I had to split it up. My miniature roses: I had a bad aphid infestation while these buds were forming, so these flowers are a little ratty looking, but there are a ton of new buds that should look beautiful when they open! My pot of morning glories and moonflowers: I planted 2 of each, I'm planning to grow them up the balcony railing. I planted them kind of in the 4 corners, but I guess some sloppy watering moved them around a bit. The two little sprouts are the morning glories, and the two moonflowers are sprouting as we speak! My moonflower seeds breaking through the soil: How awesome is that?!? I feel like I'm in 1st grade again! I am planning to take more pictures of them in a few hours to see how far they've come My moonflower seeds 24 hours later:

My strawberries: My Habanero pepper: My hanging basket tomato: I swear it's growing so fast I can almost see it happening! My "Experimental" tomato: - I'm trying it out in a self-watering container made from a 3 liter bottle. I know it won't produce well or have the best-tasting tomatoes, but it amuses me. I'm going to wrap the container in mylar to keep the roots from burning. My herbs: Thyme and basil

I know this is a late reply, But I have moved from Kentucky to California, then California to Missouri, and every move has been a cool experience. Don't be afraid of trying someplace new. It takes a little while to build up a new group of friends but in the end, every place is different and exciting in it's own way, and I think there's a lot to be said for occationally picking yourself up and starting fresh. It's fun.

he exam is on wednesday. I am barreling full speed ahead towards it. Today I am at work (8 hours of distraction intended to save my sanity.) Tommorrow I'm home studying all day. Overthe weekend, I spent each morning taking a 4 hour timed practice exam (Last May's test saturday morning, and last November's on sunday) Then the afternoons/evenings were spent working problems in areas I was weak on. Tonight, I will be doing more of the same. Tommorrow is the last all-day push to make sure I have firmly memorized everything that needs memorization. No theory, just drilling myself over and over on all of the equations. So yeah, I am barreling headlong towards burnout. It's a race against the clock at this point. I am already looking up chiropracters to make an apointment for next week to try and undo some of the damage from spending 2 months hunched over a desk. This morning, I woke up with such a pain in my neck that I had to pick my perfume this morning that wouldn't conflict with the smell of the IcyHot I had rubbed into the entier back of my neck and shoulders. I went with Lick It. It definately smoother out the sharpness of the menthol in the IcyHot. There's a layering combination you don't hear about often. And my parents are coming into town on Friday. The apartment is in shambles, so wednesday after the exam, I will be cleaning like *mad*. Actually, I suspect it won't be that bad. I'm planning on getting a handful of big rubbermaid containers to pack up with winter clothing, spare bedding, etc. and put on the top shelves in the closets. I don't think the problem is so much mess as this apartment has kinda crappy closets, so storage has been a problem. Once I organize that, I think the rest of it will just be vacuuming, laundry and a little thoughtful aranging. Which isn't nothing, but it's not insurmountable. Rusty was supposed to be cleaning house this weekend, but #1) his standards of what constitutes "clean" are a lot lower than mine, and #2) he hasn't developed that skill of breaking down big tasks into smaller, manageable components, so to him it *does* seem insurmountable. It's irritating, but I've pretty much given up on the idea that he will ever wake up in the morning with a burning desire to keep the house clean and organized. I'll be putting off planting the balcony garden until the weekend, since there won't be time for both cleaning and planting on wednesday. So this is what burnout looks like : mild panic, physical pain, and distracting myself in daydreams of cleaning house. Wow - so miserable, yet so banal.

Oddly enough, your metaphor totally works. Your well wishes mean a lot!

Thanks for the well wishes. It's less than 24 hours away at this point. I'm kind-of anxious, but I know I've done everything I could. Hopefully soon my roses will bloom and I'll be able to post pictures.

I've been studying all day. I just stomped out into the living room and had a very nice ranty monologue about how the two problems on the May 05 exam that involved Buhlmann credibility with Poisson distributions were very easy credibility problems, *but* one expected you to just look at the distribution function and just *know* that it's a Pareto distribution, and the other relied on knowing the formula for solving gamma integrals, which I guess is just one more thing to memorize, but seriously, has nothing to do with Buhlmann credibilty at all, it's a computational technique. Imagine me going into a *lot* more detail about my displeasure. Imagine my boyfriend smiling sympathetically, and nodding in all the right places. Then asking me, "did you have a nice conversation with yourself?" It wasn't mean the way he said it, just cute. Anyway, It's going to be a tough 4 days, but I think Wednseday, I have a pretty good chance to nail it.

Natalia is kindof a bitch. Faced with a similar situation dealing with her man's vaguely moody kinda depressedness that left him sitting on the couch instead of cleaning/keeping house/etc while she was studying for the mother of all difficult exams, working as the sole supporter of the household, and still keeping up with her half of the regular chores... She instructed him to shit or get off the pot. Either he was depressed and needed to go back on antidepressants. Or he wasn't and needed to get back to washing dishes. Natalia was not going to accept doing neither. Her man pouted then got back on the antidepressants. Which, oddly enough, inspired him to get back in the kitchen. Amazing how that works. Anyway, she knows how frustrating it is to feel helpless in the face of an overwhelming task. In fact, worse then helpless when you find yourself having to fight to get the help and support you exepected to be there to begin with. She doesn't know what advice to give Snarky except that sometimes men respond well to very simple either-or distilations of the problem. Many men get overwhelmed by subtle, nuanced combinations of many issues, and just shut down instead of facing them. Given a binary choice of options, they feel more confident about making the correct choice. Natalia wishes Snarky good luck!

Dude, the colors are awesome! I'm hoping to buy a place this year... and I am seeing colors like that in my future. hee hee. So inspiring!

It is a lovely poem, but I wasn't the one who suggested it I'm generally not much into poetry, with the exception of Lawrence Ferlinghetti's "A Coney Island of the mind" (It's a short book of poems, and it's *beautiful*) Look that up next!

Honestly, it wasn't sexy at all... But I can understand fetish-izing contemporary political figures, so I can see how it would have been hot to some people in the 80's. maybe.