spanishviolet

Congratulations! :wub2:

 

I worked for a bankruptcy attorney in Ohio before we moved here. Bankruptcy is very interesting -- one of the big benefits for me was "waking up" and really becoming hyper-aware of our own finances, from seeing the messes people will get themselves into. Obviously some people couldn't help it (illness, divorce) but others were so willfully oblivious.

Thanks!

I hadn't thought of that, but I bet it will be a very useful wake-up call. Hopefully in time to do some good - I'm kind of oblivious myself, but trying to do better. So this will provide not only more money, but also financial-sensibleness-motivation ...

I'm glad things are going OK.

 

And yes, anger is destructive if you hold onto it too long, but it's also damaging by keeping it all bottled in for the sake of being a good girl and not raising a stink. (I'm trying to convince myself of this right now, BTW.)

 

Oh, and you take the train! I've heard good things about DART, and amusing stories too of course.

Thanks!

And you raise a good point. Repressing used to be my method for dealing with everything, till it got to be too much strain. These days I'm experimenting with the whole "Let yourself work through your feelings at a natural pace" - feelings suck sometimes! I don't think I'm repressing too much here though - I've learned (once again) that he does not think as Normal, Considerate People do, and I made my list of all the ways I'm better off without him, and I know I'm angry at him for giving up on us & then still wanting to be friends right away without listening to me when I said I needed space, and of course the new girlfriend thing, and all manner of other things ... But until that lease is up in June, I just want to do whatever results in the least amount of daily crappiness ... sigh.

The train is actually pretty cool. Much speedier than buses, and riding it makes me feel like a Grown-up Urban Type. Plus the stop is just a block from my new store!

In my humble opinion, you're not the one who should be looking for somewhere else to stay, he is. That business about not being able to go to her place because her ex is there is garbage! What are you?? Her ex's feelings are more important than yours? Not hardly.

 

He could not be treating you any shittier. And honestly I can't believe that this new woman is even willing to come into your house and act like that. She sounds like a real piece of work too. Good grief.

I can't imagine why she wants to come there either. My stuff is still scattered all around in there because I haven't had anywhere to put it. I think I'll box it up this week or next when they're not around & stuff it somewhere, just so I can make some visible progress. I can't control what he does & he seems unwilling to listen ... All I can really control is my own actions.

I don't know. This is all confusing & I can only think one day ahead at a time, and for right now, that day involves sleeping on a couch at my wonderful friend's apartment.

*sputters* WTF?!? They want to be considerate to her ex but you somehow don't qualify?

 

You're being the big person there (or as valentina would say, you put on your "big girl panties") so I'll be mad for you. They're the ones being incredibly selfish.

I get the impression she doesn't care about her ex's feelings at all (from some sad messages he sent me), but that she doesn't have a tv in her room. They're both terrible people and I wish the idea of karma provided some solace ...

I just got new glasses in September (after 7 years ). My prescription barely changed, so that was the good news.

Seven years? You go to the eye doctor like I do to the dentist. I have dental insurance too & should probably try to use it (a cleaning is probably in order), but I haven't been since I got my wisdom teeth taken out, sometime in college.

ok-i'll weigh in on the glasses front-I used to have wonderful bright blue plastic frames-which I loved,they sort of hid the constant circles under my eyes,and people mentioned them a lot-only problem-people noticed the glasses and not me or my eyes- ...

btw-i cant imagine how tough it would be living with exbf-my exbf supposedly "didn't want another relationship"and guess what he went out to find?!-but we are friendly and talk on the ohone,but we dont live in the same house(or even state) so I cant imagine-yuk-well enjoy the chocolate!

I was a bit worried about that too - part of me wanted to ask him for some cool colored frames like a friend got, but even the mild colors he brought out sort of took over my face, and I kind of like my face & don't want it to be hidden away all the time!

This living in the same house business does really suck, but I've been spending a lot of time at friends' places, and so has he, so we've been able to get by so far. Just this week I've actually started to feel better - my appetite has even returned! - and we've had a few strained but friendly conversations. So we'll probably end up in a situation like you describe eventually ...

Glasses shopping can be really rough! Considering I can't see well enough to assess the frames myself, I have to rely heavily on the chunky-frame loving hipsters that staff the local eye doctor's office.

 

My other problem is I have ZERO bridge on my nose so it is very hard for glasses to stay put if they don't come with nosepads (and most plastique ones don't) so I end up looking school marmish no matter how cool I think I am.

I always feel like I'm boring the glasses guy by taking too long, but how am I supposed to make such an important decision so quickly? I'll have the ramifications on my face for at least two years! (I should maybe try for annual from now on ...)

All the black frames he picked out looked like they were supposed to be cool & ironic, but on me looked frumpy & geekish (don't need any help in that direction, thanks!). So I'll never make it as a hipster!

And my glasses always slide down anyway - my friends tease me about peering over them like stereotypical-library-lady. So at least with the plastic ones I won't have to worry about the little nose pads falling off all the time ...

Heh! Makes me want to go watch the Office ... *sends peaceful Zen energy your way*

Things will get better, believe me they will. Just stay strong and try to find something, anything at all to brighten your days as you go through this.

Thanks for the encouragement - I'm sure the panic will recur lots, but I think I'm starting to get a little more of a plan. My friends have been great & supportive lately, which has helped a lot too.

Oh no! I'm so sorry this is happening.

 

I've been in that situation a few times, that initial PANIC!! when it's announced the office/company/etc. is closing. If it was a great place to work, definitely look into transferring to another store -- you keep your tenure and don't have to be on the "open market."

Most people are trying to transfer - I would love to keep working in the bookstore with fun & interesting people, but I'm kind of leaning toward trying something new ... I'm still very confused right now though.

Sigh. Thanks for hugs though - all the hugs I've been getting lately are very much appreciated!

I love making scarves. They're great for knitting while you're watching TV, to keep you from feeling all shiftless & such. You get to enjoy the beauty of the fiber & feel like you're doing something other than just vegging out, but it doesn't take so much attention that you have to focus completely on what you're doing ...

Admittedly, I'm a pretty lazy knitter.

I don't normally say much on blogs here these days...but I'm so glad that I'm not the only person with normal hearing who watches English-language TV with subtitles! I thought I was the only one but I'm very happy to see that I'm not. I sometimes find it hard to catch words when people who don't speak clearly or who speak too fast say something, or when there's talking when there's loud noise or music in the background...so subs are great for that!

Exactly! People mumble too much these days. I really don't think I listened to that much loud music when I was younger, but I have a hard time picking things out sometimes.

Now advice here, just more

More hugs are always good. Thanks

Five days? Damn. He brought her to your house? Sheesh. Apparently he has taken leave of his senses. That is really low. Is this woman aware of the situation? I mean, your relationship with Jason and your current living situation? I've known some pretty uncaring women over the years, but none of my women friends would ever put another woman into such a situation as what you walked into.

I've thought before that he's got a distinct lack of empathy, but I didn't expect him to be just so ... clueless. Or cruel ... I don't know what she's aware of - maybe they're just interacting as friends right now & she doesn't know of any particular significance to her being there? I haven't asked, & prefer not to think about it in that much detail because it feels kind of like poking at a sore tooth.

In any case, it all just makes me sad & grey-feeling.

It'll get a little less awful every day.

Thanks, and back ... I'm hoping things start tending that way - right now they're kind of penduluming (not a word, probably ...). For the most part I can think that this will end up being better in the long run - but in the short run it hurts more than I could have believed. I forget most of the time how very physical sadness can be ...

But it helps to have friends & forumites to turn to. I think right now I'll try the gentleness advice & go have some tea.

Thanks - that helps. back ...

I love the Winter lights idea. People should do this! Just take them down in March or something. I just don't understand how some people go to the trouble of putting up lights, & then take them all down on Christmas Day. Leave them until New Year's, at least! Do they really run out of festive spirit that quickly?

Hope you're enjoying the tart & festive music. I'm kind of doing the same thing - Mexican cocoa candle, mug of coffee, pondering taking a bath. (Leftover vacation days that have to be used up by the end of the month - excellent!)

Congratulations on the employment!

Glad you had a fun trip! And good luck on getting the job situation settled out smoothly ...

I haven't ordered an Inquisition yet, but probably will any day now. Those tricks both sound great ... I really need to get around to posting a sale page to make some space, & funds!

The bus has a lot going for it, I admit (hey, I'm being environmentally responsible! ). Fights? Guess I've been lucky so far - the main hazard seems to be getting caught up in an exciting passage in my book & missing my stop. Must remember to look up more often ...

I thought this whole cohabitation thing might work out, because Chrissy & I have been roommates for ten years in August - since we were randomly assigned together freshman year. But I guess our quirks just happen to work out fairly well together, and introducing new people into that has wreaked havoc. I'm hoping we can talk things out soon, but she seems to be hunkering down into hostile mode ... sigh.

Thanks for the good wishes!

Oh, I can't stand the post-game commentary ... the good stuff's over and you'll be listening to the sports radio in the morning, can't we do something else now?

The sports themselves, I'm mixed about. My family got into baseball in a major way when I was in junior high - at first I took a book to the games, then I too got into the madness & later added hockey after reading Wayne Gretzky's autobiography. When I moved off to college, I found myself never keeping up with any sports - it was all something vaguely interesting my brother would tell me about. I still enjoy going to the games on family vacations, but the only way I'd watch them on tv would be if I had some big knitting project to occupy me & keep my brain going, & there was no one else at home to object!

Lately I've been watching the Mavericks game with Jason because basketball's the only sport he's really into. It's all still a bit too random & fast-paced for me (they couldn't keep the other team from scoring for four seconds?!!?!), but at least these last few games have been pretty suspenseful.

Oh, I've been thinking the same thing craft-wise ... my yarn has all been sitting in the closet for the last year or so. My fingers keep twitching & I keep looking at knitting patterns, but I haven't picked anything yet to make ...

The two I was choosing between for the next book club were Specimen Days by Michael Cunningham (I loved The Hours - his prose is so crystal-perfect beautiful) and Zorro by Isabel Allende (I've eyed her other books at work but never read one. This seems perfect to start with - Zorro's an old family favorite, whether it be Tyrone Power, Antonio Banderas, or that guy on the Disney channel).

Little Big is off to a really good start too - I came across a description at the wedding scene where the groom is described as "feeling full of music head to foot" - I loved that! I need me some more bits of beautiful prose to write down in my journal of snippets - it hasn't had any new entries in a while ...

Oh, THAT thread ... Who thought anonymous was a good idea anyway? Yikes!

I feel your dial-up pain ... We moved my guy out of his apartment last week into mine while we look for a new place to rent, and now we have no speedy internet access, only sad slow dial-up.

I feel so out-of-the-loop forumwise, since I can't get on everyday. At least there haven't been any one-day updates so far!

Probably somewhere in north Plano or Frisco, due to my roommate & boyfriend's job locations ...

Haven't called any realtors lately since we're all preoccupied with packing up. It's amazing how much STUFF fits into one little apartment! When two packrats get together ... I'm working on reforming my ways. The other day I took four big boxes of books I didn't like or would never bother reading to Half Price & got $50. Transforming books into BPAL!

I did a little searching, and I found this site... not exactly what we want, but close. And look at the rest of the site...she has fun stuff!

 

http://www.cafepress.com/opheliasart.10032102

That site has gorgeous shirts ... did you see the La Fee Verte designs?

The whiny panties sound fun too!