HKB

I spent way too much time favoriting some of my old tweets. All I ever talk about is crapping and my period, I guess? Cool.

Dissing my mom to her face, over e-mail. Feels good!

My cat's hungry but i don't care because she isn't human

I wonder what would happen if I didn't wear a bra to work

Boyfriend says I weigh more than he can carry, will not carry me to bed. So mean.

How is it that I'm 27 and still not used to the idea that I'll never get taller/ people older than me are not necessarily taller

Writing fan fiction about my neighbors

I've had sex hundreds of times!

Double rainbows

Helping dude locate missing hearing aids plus sexting. Cool at multitasking

i like to get ate out, maybe sometimes. aslo i have sometimes. then mabye we could see move. i like oves. i liek whn they kiss.

My dinner was three cookies

I had a chimichanga for breakfast

WHAT is Cat Power doing wasting my time with this stupid new album

The human right to not be bombarded by meaningless obscenity designed to extract one's resources.

When someone says "ten years ago" it takes me a while to realize they're not referring to the 90s.

Dissing Walt Whitman.

My cat is laying in a strip of sun on the carpet, appears to be experiencing an exalted state of satisfaction unknowable to human animals

There was a spider in my hair! I'm a witch!

I love Kafka. When I'm dying I will think: Why didn't I listen to Kafka?

lady in my English class didn't like Hemingway story because the character had a "bad attitude"

Wish I had a weapon

Having my 3rd beer for the evening. Want to give my liver some exercise, keep it in shape

Eating chips and salsa for breakfast at noon. No rules on mama's day

Saw five seconds of wife swap, deduced premise of muscular people vs dwarves