impolight

:::DEVIL'S CLAW::: This one came as a Frimp with the last order and interest immediately piqued as Rapaccini's Garden fragrances are both potent and unique... Not to mention startlingly beautiful! Devil's Claw is, WHOOOOOAH-Intense!!! At first, this one seemed to closely resemble the Patchouli/Coconut cocktail of Goblin... And then it reverbated around the cranium for a bit, leaving an unsettling degree of perplexity in it's wake. Devil's Claw most certainly IS yellow-bright. Mentholated-yellow. It is also much like a yellow-jacket... It hums, darting hither and yon, bristling with menace... Perhaps this is where the horns and prongs are evoked. This is also the most furious, smoldering varietal of Patchouli that has been revealed from the Lab in personal experience. Upon it's first encounter with body chemistry: Devil's Claw waxes gothic here; Vetiver unspools satiny, black ribbons similar to a slow-motion funerary procession. The horizons spilling in thunderheads as though from the rim of a bowl. Devil's Claw seems to be blended from Coconut, Patchouli, Eucalyptus, Sage, and Vetiver. This is dark, earthen, and sweet. In this part of Rappaccini's Garden, it is shadowy and haunted. Clever! Possibly unisex, but with a grittier edge that favors a masculine persuasion. Beautiful and bleak. 4.1 out of 5

:::MENACING IONOSPHERIC RESEARCH INSTRUMENT::: Hooray! Excitement! The first received in an order from the Black Helicopter series! The additional purchase(s) of wooden cigar boxes helped to facilitate the room for this collection! From the opened bottle: The first impression of Menacing Ionospheric Research Instrument might best be described as MOM (Mint, Ozone, Metal). Mint and Metal are pretty neat when intermingled thus... Mintally distoibed? Mintally deranged? Oh boy! Menacing Ionospheric Research Instrument is quite like The Coil at this phase, but has yet to reveal the sweetness that is generated by the Passion Flower in the other blend. On the skin: Jinxeez! The Sage has got some street-cred, yo! Wow. The tonsils received a whopping from the herb as though the trusty sleeping bag was pulled from storage, unused since the last foray into the scrub. This is clean, and dissuasive to Bad Juju. This gets morphing pretty quick. Not much mucking about with the adaptive process! Menacing Ionospheric Research Instrument seems all about the hybridization of notes. These crazy frequencies almost suggest fragrant Violet blossoms that have been grafted, somehow, onto an Orange Tree; the resultant mutated blooms unleashing a bizzarely beautific odiferousness into the air in wee puffs of pale, purplish fog! The mind's eye even summon's what this quasi-sentient flora would look like; almost alien petals of luminous purple, as though bioluminescing from within. The Amber in this blend has the typically gorgeous glow that comes with the Lab's version of this note. It provides a strata of levity that prompts the wearer to virtually... Hover. Menacing Ionospheric Research Instrument is impeccable and intriguing. As a first impression of the Black Helicopter series, this inspired only the most rabid levels of optimistic prospects for what is to come. This blend has a civilised amount of throw and relatively average staying power. It can be worn with confidence by Him or Her with the assurance that it will project an aura of one who is not to be trifled with... But, perhaps, tasted. Menacing Ionospheric Research Instrument is glowing, swirling, pulsating, electrified purple. This one gets and easy 5 out of 5. Long live the Royals of Redolence! The Aristocracy of Aromas! The Fraternity of Fragrance and Sorority of Scent!

:::TIN FOIL HAT::: The next in line to review this one? Only the second? Really?? Glee!!! There is such a vast capacity for love of this fragrance, that it is a tragedy in the making. Someone REALLY should reconsider with this one. No, REALLY. Ten millilitres is practically a MUST!! There have been intergalactic quantities of excitement beamed directly into the pineal gland and the frontal lobes, even as this review is being composed! That extraterrestrial intelligence(s) contributed to the development of Tin Foil Hat should come as a surprise to no one. Ahem. From the freshly uncapped Frimp: *Rocket-propelled backflop onto the carpets* The Wife can vacuum up the husband later; after the cessation of bubble-blowing, perhaps. Tin Foil Hat is STUbleepingPENDOUS!!! Holy Shart, gnaw-yer-knuckles and click-yer-heels-until-they-spark, outrageously magnificent! It's been more than a year, but a cigarette is needed after that one! Whew! Okay, POSSIBLY Cucumber, Chrome, Lime, Melon, Mint, Lilac, Musk, Amber, Tangerine, Zucchini Blossom, Honeysuckle, Passion Flower, Balsam, Brilliantine, or, maybe, Ambergris. Tin Foil Hat is an electrified Louis-Lime Otter Pop. Atomic Mint-Chip ice cream. Tin Foil Hat is an otherwise stunning gentleman with brillianteened hair, a pinstripe suit, ascot, and spats... Yet, his smile looks like a caricature of itsself and his left pupil is blown... If Villain and Whitechapel collaborated to instigate the perfect crime spree of the century, the Tin Foil Hat would be the bust; tittering the whole way to his padded cell. Lovecraft himself would assert that there is no way that whoever smelled like this could be quite right. On the skin: Ahhhhh... Yup.Tin Foil Hat is Brilliantine,Lilac- Lime aftershave, Apple-Mint chewing gum, and the smell of the tines of the shopping cart you're riding in as it hurtles downhill, zooming toward the gates of some Top-Secret military research facility, playing the theme music from, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" aggressively on your kazoo, your new hat glinting proudly in the sun before the eyes of the terrified guards at the gate. Tin Foil Hat is excruciatingly superb. On a scale of 1 to 5, this one's dang near a 6!!! Spectrally, Tin Foil Hat is a fluorescent, pastel green with threads of tinsel thrown in for good measure. This could be a new favourite for absolute certain. Forumites, band together, form a democracy of sorts and vote for Tin Foil Hat to earn a slot of permanence in the Lab's catalogue!!! Grandly unisex, this would be a Pandora's Box, were it carelessly unleashed on the skin of Him or Her. In fact, were a dozen or so people to get together, imbibe liquors, and wear this fragrance, one and all, at a party at night in the heights of summer, it would indesputably go down in legend, and even eye contact would prove... Akward. Tin Foil Hat ROCKS @$$. Cast your vote!!!

:::IRRELEVANT AND DISTRUBING SURREAL CRAWDAD DREAM::: ... It's Uranulday, Septembruary 32nd, and things seem, well, different. You go to languidly stretch your claws and are immediately seized with pangs of regret... You'll never look at a 7-string oboe the same again! The fact that your feelers are still so swollen from elevation sickness has you feeling extraordinarily cross...You slip on your riding boots, sit astride your riverstone, then dig in your spurs, skipping along the sun-dappled surface, course set for the setting sun in the south...You must be wary; here, the Green-Man waits with his nets when he's not stroking his enormous...er...zucchini. Here, gigantic, pink-candyfloss bears with candy-corn claws lurk for the first opportunity to snatch up wayward crayfish, carry them back to their nest and cook them in a hula-hoop... Ok, this fragrance is certainly disturbing AND surreal. Were it not for the potency of the blend, irrelevance might make a little more sense. The Currants and Pikake factor together to form a flaming figment... It fills the head with molten magenta pigment to match the Crawdad's on the label... Neat! The Green Tea and Corriander makes this one wet and refreshing! This is aquatic, yet not your Ozoney type of aquatic... More of an oasis... A wilder body of water by which to lay back, cloudburst, and wile away the hours. On the skin: Starstruck! Experience has long since proven not to underestimate the range of the oils put out by Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs to morph, but Irrelevant and Disturbing Surreal Crawdad Dream is ridiculous! The Zucchini Blossom in this pops bigtime! This is very remniscent of The Sea Foams Blood in a sense, which, of course, emphasizes the aquatic aspect in a huge way! Deliriously fantastic! These Zucchini blossoms are otherworldly gold, trumpeting, openthroated wonders that evoke worship from hives! There is almost bee-pollen sweetness here, too! Remarkable and gorgeous stuff! It is actually nearly impossible not to imagine a large-scale fantasy setting with Irrelevant and Disturbing Surreal Crawdad Dream; picture Fauns and Wood-Nymphs cavorting in the spray of waterfall pausing only to raise their cups to honor the prowess of that riverbank rapscallion. After this has had some time to mellow, Irrelevant and Disturbing Surreal Crawdad Dream gets very sweet... Bordering on something quite like a tempting dessert. This is a wonderful unisex fragrance! 4.89 out of 5.

:::OBLIVION::: Based on the moniker for this one, the expectation was for something a wee bit more... Dark? Sinister? The (well, not really) surprise with Oblivion was that it is actually quite the exotic, yummified sort of goody that one can expect to emerge from The Lab consistently. There was some trepidation upon reading that there was Patchouli in this; yet, not only is it a lusher, greener Patchouli, it is present only enough to add a degree of sultry mystique to this blend. Another surprise with Oblivion was the perfume of the ferrous-flowered Saffron; ordinarily one of the more delicate and subtle blossoms, it's sweetness was luxuriously apparent here! Neato! It's strange that there is not any Amber in this blend, considering how incredibly sweet it is... Labdanum isn't a familiar fragrance (thus far unidentifiable in most of the blends that it's listed in) yet that could account for some of the sweetness that so closely resembles Amber in Oblivion. "Wood Spice" is also an enigmatic descriptor, but from what is detectable in this blend, the closest note that it could be likened to from personal experience is Allspice. The "Dark Woods" makes oblivion velvety-smooth... So far, these come together and summon a theme of an old-timey barber shop... Some exotic sort of talcum powder imported for their more discerning clientele. On the skin: everything in Oblivion Amps, especially the sweetness (really? no Amber?). The spice comes out a little more assertively here as well. Unisex for certain... Just about the time that a proper place with a specific gender gets near to being solidified, there is a flux that shifts it to the polar opposite of the spectrum. In either case, Oblivion is a very nice fragrance; wistful, creamy, dreamy... Oblivion would work well with heavy fabrics, Victorian wallpaper, the good china, and an oriole window... A pipe-organ can be heard somewhere in the distance... Definitely more Salvation than Sin. Yummaliscious! 4.75 out of 5.

:::NIGHT THOUGHTS::: I received this one in the mail today via a handy-dandy swap and can scarcely contain the wagon-load of glee based on the notes that were listed! As a late-bloomer to the Lab (Thank you, Schnanni!) there have been droves of blends that were just plain missed out on... When this one came up for grabs, the hesitation was nil! From the opened bottle: There is a climactic groan and a slap-happy grin. The noggin slowly tick-tocks it's way to the safety of a pillow... Jeepers, this is good! Night Thoughts are billowing, sateen draperies of cobalt, violet, and indigo... The Lilacs, Orange Blossoms, and Carnations make for a startlingly ethereal boquet, especially when enhanced with the Blue Musk! What a treat! Cedar is ordinarily assertive, bordering on overbearing... Here, it demures and compliments the whole of this formula spectacularly! On the skin: oh, WOW... Here comes the Ozone! In this blend, however, it isn't as oceanic/precipitational as in other blends. Here, it works some magic with the spices and the Cedar that amalgamate with the boquet to make something akin to... Violets... A fistful of Violets crushed in the fist of a hyper, well-meaning suitor you might find standing outside your window, grinning foolishly in the rain. There is so much splendor in Night Thoughts! This is very suggestive of the imagery used to represent the mind of a madman in the motion picture, "The Cell"... But much, much more sexy! There is splendor and grandeur alike in this fragrance! This could work in a unisex way, but the Lab's miracle with Lilacs and Violets almost always leans more toward him. Marvelous! 5 out of 5!

:::PICTURE BOOK AND PLEASURE TOYS::: This one was supremely exciting to find waiting in the mailbox... Waiting to be coddled, cuddled, snuffled, and erstwhile molested. Going over the veritable smorgasbord of notes listed in this one, the anticipation grew because nearly every single one has a special meaning thanks to the Lab's diligence in providing top-quality product! From the opened bottle: Holy wholesomeness, that is GOOD!!! The Pink Rose and the Jasmine make a nice, satiny, candle-lit cushion. The Red Sandalwood makes up the bedframe and Red Musk and Vetiver lay atop all this, cleaving together in a glistening, twitching twine of relentless, open-throated euphorics... This is warm, unctious, undulating autoerotic asphyxiation! Picture Book and Pleasure Toys really makes your pineal gland want to erupt through your pelvic floor in a shrieking, sparkling cascade of infinity! Wow, this is a remarkable fragrance! This is making whoopee in a hammock sixty feet off of the ground in a wildly swaying tree-top during a spectacularly violent thunderstorm!!! The tang of a smartly bit lip and adrenaline! On the skin, Picture Book and Pleasure Toys threatens to go soapy for just a moment, but makes a swift recovery and reveals a dark majesty. The Black Currant Bud comes together with the Black Tea and the Oakmoss to warm the face and brighten the eyes like a glass of expensive whiskey. Nectarine and Ambrette make a really neat glitter that could be either a breath-taking bauble of pretty jewelry or the slightest hint at a disconcertingly concealed blade. Picture Book and Pleasure Toys is an olfactory opiate; addictive and eager to stretch wide your path to deification. While this fragrance compels you to stand up straight and pay attention, it is also startlingly perverse... Feel those cheeks glowing pink and hot! Yes, both! This is a colossally great fragrance. Picture Book and Pleasure Toys leaves little to no room for doubt that the minds behind the alchemies, ever emerging from the Lab are wickedly sharp and on an eternal quest to redefine the realms of possibility in terms of masterpiece, opus, and work of genius... Long Live The Lab! Spectrally, Picture Book and Pleasure Toys is grey, sage, rose, oxblood, plum, and goldenrod. This is unisexual dynamite; spicy, kittenish and beguiling on Her, and sulkily rakish, reckless, and impudent on Him. Picture Book and Pleasure Toys is an aromatic superpower. Astronomically grandiose! 5.5 out of 5.

This one is very pretty from the bottle: a screaming, multimegawatt, crimson Christmas-light that lets you have it up the nose with both barrels. The Cranberry and Red Currant are conjoined twins of bright succulence, lent a pleasant twinge by the rougher red of Cedar Wood... Anyone remember the group, "Everything but the Girl"? Well, so far, this is the equivalent of their music oozing from the speakers at sternum-shaking volume during a ride in a purring and shiny-black muscle-car on an open highway at 4 a.m. ... This is also the foxy brunette nurse you watched enjoy a bright-red lolly (breathe, stupid, breathe!) before she came in to check your blood pressure... After a double-take and a wry grin, she leans in and plants one on you... Delicious! On the skin, this morphs, quite surreal! The Thyme and Wild Mint surface to transport you into a rich woodland, replete with a glittering stream... Genius! The Tobacco Flower isn't as prominent here as in other blends, but is there, a carefully placed note, expertly executed.This one is probably more on Her side of the scale, but unisex all the same. He could probably wear it to the opera ( or Kabuki, maybe?) and pull it off... This is a pretty gorgeous scent. Divine product from the Lab. 4.9/5.

:::INGANOK JEWELERS::: Because finances were less than ideal (abyssmal? Oh, yes!) at the time when Inganok Jewelers was most readily available, the opportunity went whizzing by and there was a resulting descending vortex into a deep, blue, maudlin, carpet-kicking funk... When this came up for grabs in a swap, there was a fingertip applauding with an accompanying squeal as this was aquired... Ahem. From the bottle: how these things are accomplished is elusive at best. Eyelids slam shut of their own accord and one is gripped in this sensation of being a lone feather released from lofty heights; fluttering earthward in slow-motion... ahhhhh. The Lab really does some amazing things with their earthier and, especially, their metallic notes. "Silver" really is an amazing descriptor. Sure, there are similarities to Iron, Gold, and Chrome notes from other blends, but this one has an almost metaphysical or alchemical sharpness that alludes to a more precious ore... Specflippingtacular! There is also an almost chalky, geological or meteoric stoniness here too; recently chiseled marble or fractured granite. A stone/metal projectile hurled from the deeps of the cosmos and glowing with an otherwordly light from a freshly churned crater... I get the impression that there is an almost timid kiss of Vetiver in here somewhere too, lending a murky sort of slickness to the overall impression... On the skin: Wow! This really is extraordinary! On the verge of being sacreligious! This amps on a huge level! Where other blends amp like plugging a bass into an amplifier in your garage, Inganok Jewelers amps like the feedback just before you deafen the first thirty-something rows at Wembley. Vetiver is much more likely a candidate at this stage; perhaps the most snarlingly erotic Vetiver so far encountered. Metal and Stone transform from something carried on the winds at the periphery of an apocalyptic scene to walking into an industrious warehouse piled high with mountains of glittering treasure amid the noise of hot machines, hard at their cutting and grinding and polishing. Good stuff! Since hindsight is, as ever, 20/20, it is highly regrettable that 3 bottles of Inganok Jewelers was not purchased post-haste... Who needs running water? This is a dramatically stupefying blend. Wearing this makes one feel right at home among the preening eschelons of true aristocracy, with more than a bit of inside information as to what's really goin on in places like Area 51. The Wife has officially conceded that this one's, "Not bad". The sister has condemned the body-chemistry of her elder brother citing that, with hers, this one's a bit, Eau du sweatsock. The little dog avoids eye-contact for the most part except to convey grave concern for whatever is wrong with Papa-Dog. Inganok Jewelers effortlessly earns a 5.5 out of 5. While this could be spectacular as a unisex fragrance, from personal experience, this leans toward Him. Superior!

:::ENRAGED ORANGUTAN MUSK::: Admittedly, there was much wriggling and disproportionate excitement associated with aquiring 'Enraged Orangutan Musk' in a swap, and it was due to an extremely distorted misunderstanding on possible sources of inspiration for this fragrance... Instead of looking at this as an (ook) allegorical representation of the Malay term for (Ook!) "Old Man of the Forest", the fevered brain, prone to fits of unreasonable (OOK!) excitement, projected the term of "The Librarian" into the role of the "Enraged Orangutan". (EEK!) With an aknowledging nod being directed at Mr. Pratchett in the, "Good Omens" portion of Neil Gaiman's territory, there were high hopes... That being said, there was more than a little relief to discover that this formula's notes did NOT include Bananas, Heavy Iron Chains used for restraining Snarling, Enchanted Grimoires, and Handrolled Cigarette-butts secreted deep in the moth-eaten robes of Wizards at the Unseen University... A surprise with this one was the, "wand-applicator cap" that nearly provoked a mishap with bladder control when it emerged unexpectedly from the bottle and nearly capsized it onto the floor. From the Bottle: The first impression of this fragrance is that it has striking similarities to both, "Snake Oil" and "Antikythera Mechanism"; sweet, dark, almost wooden tones. The sweetness in Enraged Orangutan Musk at this point would feel right at home with an association of sweetened Pipe Tobacco in a Leather pouch. Not being too awfully familiar with botanical specimens that hail from rainforest regions of Malaysia, it would be difficult to describe this aside from something that was once tropically sweet that has since composted and humidified. Wet on the Skin: Now other elements come to the fore; The Orange Peel is fricking brilliant, while Ambergris makes this really, really suave. The Musk, while obvious, isn't overpowering at this point. The Amber does a pretty, pretty turn here. Strangely, this blend not only morphs, but mutates once it has nestled in and made a true home amid the body-chemistry. The Rainforest extracts green up nicely, freshen, showcase their lusher attributes, and put their dewpoint on glittering display. The Ambergris in this almost takes on an edge of a more marine suggestion... There is a sharp, briny, kelpy spritz that makes this zing and sparkle a bit. As Enraged Orangutan Musk slowly develops, the true brilliance of this fragrance begins to emerge... It is now easy to envision being crouched low in mist and vegetation, being supremely irritated with the slivers of Bamboo wedged into the gumline, staring through the slats of shadow with bloodshot eyes, high on fructose-feuled adrenalyne, hair at the nape bristling, ready to deliver a cantillevered punch to an interloper... Enraged Orangutan Musk is brilliant, delicious animism. Spectrally, this is brilliant green, dark purple, and crystal clear. Vibrant and ferally virile fragrance for him. 5 out of 5! Pure genius!

Getting the first sniff of this blend was a rush... This is a glittering, rubicund percolation of nuclear cheer!At very first, Smilin' Servitor's Hyperdimensional Holiday Hits is a High-Octane hybrid of juices and blooms... This stuff is like a toss up of Fruit-Punch, Wine and frosty bits of Meteorite... Something a cyborg would swill. This is also like an intergalactic flower that floats through air. It is very nearly acrylic and communicates by pulsing at different, colours, lumens', and frequencies, also subtly changing in perfume. While very good and festive, Smilin' Servitor's Hyperdimensional Holiday Hits really reverbates weirdly in the frontal cortex, stimulating abberant impulsivities. On the skin, Smilin' Servitor's Hyperdimensional Holiday hits glitters with a scintillating ferocity.The fructarian attributes have mellowed somewhat, and the focus is more on the metallurgical, interstellar blooms displaying their serrated smiles... Interesting. While this fragrance is bizarrely cheerful one moment, the very next it... Scuttles closer and peers into you with a dismaying array of clinical eyes. Quite spooky! The lovely Wife offers her critique: Fruit Loops and Mosquito Repellant. The Dawg: Would rather sleep... The notes in this that are the easiest to distinguish via novice nose are the Lemon and the Yuzu... Maybe a smidge of the Eucalyptus. It is likely the Jasmine and Freesia blended together flawlessly, that generates the unreal florals... On a scale of 1 to 5, this one easily deserves a 5. Smilin' Servitors' Hyperdimensional Holiday Hits could well be unisex, though smells like it has been skillfully formulated to suit Her body chemistry. A blend to be applauded!

:::TABULA SMARAGDINA::: True Roscrucian incense, is it? Oh, splendid! Let us see! Ooooh... This is incredible in the bottle! An instantaneous olfactory equivalent of a double-take... Tabula Smaragdina is everything that it promises to be. This is probably the very best incense note tried from the Lab to date! Were this to be encountered in a temple setting, knees would probably wobble and then bend, instinctively, in reverence. Spectrally speaking, Tabula Smaragdina is equal parts Mirror, Gold, and Rose. This fragrance gleams... On the skin, Tabula Smaragdina really amps. This fragrance is pretty crazy in the respect that it evokes a religious awe. Thematically, Tabula Smaragdina would pair well with something like Dee... As this fragrance radiated into the room in the quiet before work, it would have been little to no surprise to see a sword-wielding Angel swoosh in all ablaze through the front door and do some serious rebuking for the poor taste in armor these days... Before asking, "What's the address?" For a split second, mortal body-chemistry behaved as though it would reject Tabula Smaragdina out of unworthiness, and threatened to go a bit soapy, but the moment passed, there was forgiveness, bathing in light, etcetera... And this fragrance bloomed, spectacular as ever. There is a duality to Tabula Smaragdina that is particularly amazing; While there is the unmistakable glow, plume, and combustion of Incense and Spice, your skin practically crawls with dew-drops on Rose-petals as they lightly trace the length of your spine from nape to tailbone. Tabula Smaragdina is a hush just before you drift off to sleep. This is a spell, a trance, a benumbing. Tabula Smaragdina is an uneasy truce betwixt piousness and erotica. Tabula Smaragdina could be worn to Church or a Brothel with equal aplomb. Tabula Smaragdina is beautiful and unisex. Again, the Carnival Diabolique astounds and amazes and produces yet another 5 out of 5.

:::PICKLED IMP::: At first this one was worrisome, because the first bit that wafted up once the bottle top was loosened, was, sugar cookie... Which isn't so bad if you aspire to smell like a sugar cookie. Frick & Frack! Fiddle-dee-dee! Before this could escalate into major bummification, a skin test should be administered to eliminate the possibility of foofooness. The bottle was given a threatening shake, and something similar to Cinnamon takes a peek... Hmmm. On the skin, the jig is up! The Genie is out of the bottle and a massive ball of flame that is change fills the room... The ever-alert Wife's head whips around and fixes the source with pin-point accuracy, pupils dilated... "Gingerbread?" comes the accusatory query. She is assured that this isn't so. This is so far a fragrance that is best to be left alone with... This is very NOM good, Very NOM spicy, Very NOM luxuriant. At first there is a thought that Pickled Imp seems familiar because it is quite like Cinnamon imperials... With a hint of Bubblegum (?) in the background. And then realization dawns... This Pickled Imp business is ver much like those Cinnamon-scented Pine Cones that can be found in select supermarkets during Holiday Season! This is love! Of course this makes sense upon decaffeinating... The notes listed DO include Cinnamon and Pine Sap. The Clove becomes more apparent after this has had some time to dry down, yet does not at all interfere with the Cinnamon and Pine.There is a woodsy sweetness to Pickled Imp that had a feel of either Balsam or Sandalwood. Pickled Imp would be perfect for loafing about butt-naked before a crackling fire, drinking mulled wine. This would also be an ideal scent to turn out the lights, scurry off to a secret compartment somewhere and slurp with the nose. Pickled Imp is crimson velvet, ivory, evergreen, brass, and cinder. Pickled Imp is the fragrance of whimsy in the Cabinet of Curiosities. This fragrance skips and hums. Pickled Imp would be the perfect accompaniment to oversized, cozy clothing, deeply cushioned furniture, and Vivaldi. This is also a brisk stroll across slush and ice on one of those days where the sky looks white and the cold smarts all of the skin you dare to expose. Pickled Imp is a gleefully debased fragrance. Unctious and unisex. A spiffy fireball for Him and a naughty bit of stickiness you can taste on the ends of your fingers for Her. Delightfully 5 out of 5.

:::MACBETH AND THE WITCHES::: By the pricking of my thumbs, something Wicked, this way, comes... T'was love at first breath, Thanks be to Beth! Huzzah, Melancholia!Wordsmitheries & death! What balm deign becloud us? What proud, bottled demon? Thrice, shade enshroud us, A perfumed oil, screamin'! Comedy spares us madness, Tragedy leaves us scarred, With cups lifted in gladness, A toast to The Bard... Such delight, this excitement! The lid, we unscrew, Is this Capulet-violent? Will this tame the Shrew? Explore now this treasure, 'Tis better than riches! Every breath, a pleasure, Macbeth & The Witches! The first note was carried, On a current of wonder, Ozone, bright and scary, With a peal of dread thunders, From the wisps of the cauldron, Comes magic's bold feat, Here a resinous blast, Of Myrrh, dark & sweet, Steel wax electric! Lo! Take center stage! Blade, bid undoing! Storm's Hellish rage! Vengeance and violence, Bind us together! Damned spot, out with you! Divert me with Leather! Herb and Flower of forest, Enchant this concoction! Imprison this madness! Poor souls up for auction! Now quiet the tempest, Though, trees march, breath hitches, Beware when we wear, Macbeth and The Witches! This is an original and potent fragrance. A particularly brilliant aspect about the fragrance that is Macbeth and the Witches, and how it relates to the artwork in particular, is the chiaroscuro effect that gets translated, magnificently, by this blend. The Ajowan and Mugwort come together and emote a choking malice. Here, it catches in the back of the throat, alluding to a sense of falling prey to a poisoner.The Leather in Macbeth and the Witches is there, but it lurks in the shadows as would a pair of assassins. Meanwhile, the Steel and the Ozone in this blend combine to give an effect that is more like a mirror's surface or, perhaps, chrome. This has the effect of bringing out the murderous flaws into sharp relief. That this has been named for both, one of the most powerful tragedies penned to date and an evocative masterpiece is no mistake. Macbeth and the Witches is olfactory cannon fire. This is a disproportionately proud fragrance for Him. Macbeth and the Witches is wrought with danger and madness. Spectrally, this fragrance is steely & electric on one side, while the other mimics the deepest shadows of the forest. Unadulterated brilliance. 5 out of 5!

:::TWO-HEADED GOAT::: Two-Headed Goat is spectacular! Something entirely different had been expected from the information provided in the Lab's notes... Something amazing, of course, but different. When the 5 ml. bottle of Two-Headed Goat was first opened, there was a familiar ring to it... As though this fragrance or maybe, one that was close to it had been smelled before. This something had been worn by someone in a grandfatherly role, yet also someone who had been a pastor or a teacher or an attourney. This fragrance walks more like a tiger than a goat... Pettigrain leaps into the air and kung-fu kicks you in the neck, while the Oakmoss and the Pimento collaborate to take away your air in a moment of intoxicating theatrics. The Birch in Two-Headed Goat balances everything else in this out with a nice, fleecy blanket of plush, Woodsy, Wintergreeny, Sassafrassy oomph that etches a silly, soporific grin on your face. Two-Headed Goat is a spectacularly themed fragrance for Him! On the skin, Two-Headed Goat really pops! The keyword here would absolutely be, "Dapper". There is still a feel here that this fragrance would be worn by someone of the, "Old-Guard" : Bespectacled, respectable, Woolen-suit replete with pocket-watch, grey goatee, the whole nine-yards. While Two-Headed Goat is probably one of the better blends that anyone could hope to find in the realm of The Lab to date, this doesn't quite sit as comfortably with the, Cabinet of Curiosities "Freak Show" aspect... If anything, the impression relayed by Two-Headed Goat would be the fragrance worn by a Top Hat wearing gentleman who owns an international fleet of carnivals. Spectrally, Two-Headed Goat is Dark, Olive-Green with reflective, Pewter pinstripes and reverse-glitter... Or how sparkles would appear on negative film... Sub-black. Two-Headed Goat is gorgeous. A classy fragrance for Him that demands utmost respect. 5.5 out of 5 without batting an eye! Bravo!

:::RED RIDER::: Leathergasm... That would have been a good name for this too! Leather as a note in and of itsself has added a sexy boost to lots of other fragrances, but in Red Rider is beyond the call of even the loftiest aspirations of eroticism. The Red Rider completely obliterates "child-friendly" element from fairy-tale and reinvents the forum entirely; supplanting every angle with hidden corners, deep breath, shudders, gasps, throaty-laughter, sweat, rolling eyes, and paroxysms of ecstacy...This is like being locked in a very expensive Leather goods store that's been closed for the weekend with that somebody you've had your eye on for months... And you drown in one another. The Lab's version of Balsam has never been and disappointment, and Red Rider is no exception! Here is that forested, private property with miles of treeline to veil any potential distraction. The Moss in Red Rider is clean and sharp, which serves to accentuate the already mystic deviance of the Leather. Red Rider is no joke!For those out there who have read, "Exit to Eden", the fragrance that is Red Rider sums it up excellently. It is advised not to wear Red Rider alone... You may not ever set eyes upon the light of day again. This is probably one of THE sexiest fragrances EVER released to the public. Though Red Rider is most definitely the type of Leather for an unshaven, riled-up version of Him, if she wants to wear it, who gives a flying- eff? This stuff is THAT sexy. The Lab have outdone themselves yet again. On a scale of 1 to 5, this one just about deserves a 6! Lay your hands on some for sure!

:::MICHTECACIHUATL::: Oh, wow... From the bottle, Michtecacihuatl is like getting thumped upside the brain with a Poison-Arrow Frog Blowdart; gurgling, smiling, and laughing at all the silly faces that the Bromelaids are making... The first impression is that of roasted Cacao beans, Vanilla Orchid, something that is either a clay or a dense wood, and Copal... The South American vibe is certainly there! The craziness with which some of these emotives are achieved will never cease to amaze and impress... On the skin, Michtecacihuatl (surprise!) morphs... And does a really splendid job with it, mind! From the moment that it makes contact there is this mysterious, fleeting shockwave... Is that Tobacco Flower? Long time, no Tobacco Flower! Is there Rum in this too? There is also something in Michtecacihuatl that has a very, "Steely" quality to it; there isn't quite the tang that there is in the Lab's Copper note. The Iron that can be found in other fragrances is also distinctively different. This is much more of an association with Steel or, possibly, Chrome. Good times! But wait... The Morph is on the move yet again! A decent way to allegorically represent this would be like watching a peacock, waiting to see its display of tail-feathers... Only to have it turn into an archeopteryx and carry off your sandwich. Gotta catch up! My, how the Copal in Michtecacihuatl AMPS!!! Trying to explain the level in which this happens would be like trying to slow a runaway lorry with a butterfly net... Indeed, brave, yet entirely ineffectual. There is also something infuriatingly familiar about Michtecacihuatl. The word infuriatingly is used here because it is a definitive note... Perhaps from a men's fragrance that was popular in the 1980's or 1990's? It is RIGHT THERE, a hair's breadth from recognition... Michtecacihuatl is a Top-of-the-line, high-caliber fragrance! A quick peek at the notes revealed that there was Tobacco in this (but no flower), no Chocolate OR Vanilla ( those were "spices"), and that the drinkable sweetness came, in all probability, from the Roses and the Agave Nectar listed. Mihtecacihuatl is inredible! This bottle was found in a swap. Had 10 ml's of this been currently available, then 2 of them would be included in the next order. Michtecacihuatl is a superior fragrance for Him. Drop Dead Gorgeous, with a rocket-fueled throw and bionic staying power... Smokin' hot! Prepare to be riveted! 5.5 out of 5, no sweat.

:::ARKHAM::: Ia! Ia! Hoorah for superior oil blends representing one of the ultimate literary greats! Arkham is guaranteed to blow more than a few minds out there! From the bottle, Arkham smells like the deeps of a rich and shadowy Eden of a forested region; it would seem only natural that the stuff of fantasy, fairy-tale, and nightmare would emerge from this glistening, green scare-a-dise! Arkham's mossines splashes and foams in the nose like a tossing, verdant ocean... And the Violets... The Lab's Violets! They sneak up on you, peek out from their mossy, beflowered cowl and shriek, "Boo!" at you... Shy Violets... Poppycock! The Violets in Arkham are the sweltering bruises of savagery! The Dogwood in this blend is insane! Beyond nostalgia! The Dogwood in Arkham is particularly amazing, probably because there had been a presumption that as note, it would too obscure to matter much. The longer that Arkham is worn, the more it unfolds! The Toadflax is rusty and earthy, the Phlox compliments the Violet and cleverly unifies it with the Dogwood. Arkham is unwinding, uncoiling, chitinous-black brambles, dripping with oceanic mist, every drop catching and magnifying, with a flash, the light of the moon. Arkham seems to cross dimensions of both time and space to evoke the terrain and zeitgeist of the premier Godfather of Horror and the Macabre. This is a beautiful fragrance, effortlessly worthy to represent the caliber and quality of Howard Philip Lovecraft. This is a magnificent and dapper fragrance for Him. 5.5 out of 5! Thanks a billion, BPAL!

:::COYOTE::: Coyote is a well suited name for this blend of oil, though "Trickster" may have been even more apt... Coyote is a madcap, wondrous fragrance. The Doeskin in this is unreal... Initially, the note seemed to be the subtlest Leather note experienced so far in the Lab's realm of fragrances, sweetened with a dainty breath of syrupy Amber... And the Musk is ghostly! Coyote as a whole is fleeting... Like the Totem animal itsself, Coyote is detectable for a mere instant between the tall Grasses before vanishing in the twinkle of an eye, it's gait more cat-like than canine. The Wood notes in Coyote lend to a wilding, scrub-brush motif... A rich and super-human Spirit World. If anything is left to be desired, it is that Coyote vanishes all too quickly with this particular body-chemistry. *sniff* The bottle was inverted 3 times over the wrist to where the drips ran halfway to the elbow, and it was necessary to hold it an inch from the nose and sniff forcefully to find it at all, minutes later. Still, incredibly gorgeous. Shamanism at it's foxiest for Him. 5/5.

:::SILENCE::: This one was being practically given away at an auction, the opportunity to pounce was there, so... Huh. "Silence" is actually a really good name for this fragrance. From the bottle, it is a clean, floral sort of vegetal essence... A, "throw your windows wide open in the morning and breathe in the goodness that comes from it having rained all night" sort of essence.This is not at all an imposed, dreary Silence, this is more the Silence that you might find yourself reveling in... There are pleasant, cool, crisp notes in this. The Tea, Mint, and Peach makes Silence all the more profound by generating a feeling of wetness so absolute, it's as though one is immersed in water... While the "Blue Musk" and Sandalwood give it the airs of luxury... On the skin, Silence waxes even more introspective. It could be likened to staring through plate-glass while the rain's rivulets make all the world muddle together and liquefy... And just letting your mind go. Enjoy the noiseless hum that fills your being. Silence is a wee bit insane... But in a REALLY good way. This is where astral projection meets staying home on Saturday to wash your hair. Phenomenal. Unisex. Delicious. 5/5.

:::KYOTO::: This is a crazy sort of fragrance, one of the very first that made all of the notes effortlessly accessible at once... The Cherry Blossom very much like the note in a yummy cigar, the Sandalwood a classic shaving Fragrance, and the Star Anise very much the exotic form of Licorice found in the better 5-Spice powders... This stuff is supremely wow! Kyoto could be the calling-card of a sexy assassin. A dark and unpredictably dangerous fragrance. Kyoto has the characteristic of a leather, high-heeled boot, the whisper of a cruelly sharp blade, and a masterfully crafted poison. Kyoto has the allure of an exotic elsewhere. Kyoto is a shady sort of seduction. A terminally yummy fragrance for her. 4/5.

:::THE APOTHECARY::: This one will be difficult to approach without preconceived notions... C'mon, The Bard meets the House of The Holy; the BPAL of yore... Uncapping the Imp gets you a wet, Green slap. Right away, you can almost see the sun's rays slanting in shafts through the thatch in the little, wooded cottage in the deeps of a forest... There is a wooden work-surface, and countless jars, phials, and tubes that store endless varietals of herbs, oils, salves, and unguents... The Green Goddess here resides! The Moss, Ginger, and Tea are the most prominent by far in this blend; the Herbs and Grass lending more of an organic, outdoorsy atmospheric. On the skin, The Apothecary becomes wonderfully clean and aquatic. There is nearly a hint of soap... Though, not the caustic, mass-produced, aerodynamically shaped thingie; more the rough-hewn block with bits of the leaf and petal in it one might expect from a ridiculously expensive spa... Very gauche. It makes sense The Apothecary would be immortalised by a fragrance precisely like this one. The Apothecary is aromatic ingenuity. The Apothecary is a sonnet of scent, perfumed prose, redolent rhyme. The Apothecary is a rich, classical fragrance for Him. 5/5

Seduction, sensuality, the Act, and the aftermath all in one. The scent of warm, damp skin flushed with the glow of passion, touched by the luxuriant potency of ylang ylang and myrrh. :::LA PETIT MORT::: If warm skin that smelled such as this were pressed under my nose, then it would almost surely accompany involuntary vocalizations and a good... Twitch. La Petit Mort is a tres' exciting little death. This is a warm, wicked cross between a pulse thundering in the eardrums and a vertigo. The Myrrh and Ylang-Ylang in La Petit Mort comingle superbly. This is a hot, golden, floral exotica that wets the lips and flares the nostrils. This is expert pressure of the teeth, arched vertebrae, lids half-mast and shortness of breath... La Petit Mort pretty much sums itsself up, actually... Why mess with perfection? Yet another reason that BPAL is destined to become a major religion in this lifetime. Sexy! 4/5.

:::SERAPHIM::: The Rose and Frankincense in Seraphim give it the edge of light and reverence to put images in the mind of the Music of the Spheres and Winged beings sent to watch over the aspiring aescetic. Seraphim is the essence of incorruptibility, of parable, of Psalm, of hallowed ground.Seraphim is statuesque in beauty; like animated, snowy marble. When the skin is annointed with Seraphim, it introduces the element of humanised fallibility... It illustrates the running of fools. Here, the Rose in Seraphim becomes lush, lurid, almost adrip with obscenity. Here is an angel with a rouged mouth accompanying an audible swallow. Curiously enough, this fragrance would be exquisite to experience while listening to, "Host of the Seraphim" by Dead Can Dance... On purpose? The Power of Suggestion? Seraphim is phenomenal. It ushers in an incomparable reaffirmation of relations that are beyond this world. Righteous. A beautiful essence for Her. 5/5.

:::DRAGON'S BLOOD::: This fragrance is one that can be deeply personal... The sweet, clandestine effluvia that is Dragon's Blood hearkens back to a time in the late 80's, early 90's, before words like, "Gothic" had the completely laughable, candy-coated connotations that it has evolved in modern times... Excessive mascara, Doc Martens, Clove Cigarettes, and other non-mass-produced accoutrements... Ah, Glory Days. Dragon's Blood is it's own scent entirely, but has similarities to Strawberry, Honeysuckle, Peppercorn, Rose, Lilac, and Tuberose. On the skin, Dragon's Blood sweetens, wets, and becomes complex... Almost a rippling, 3-D version of itsself... If no one were the wiser, Dragon's Blood could easily pass for a bloom from the Avatar movie. Dragon's Blood is rich and hyper-real. This is the stuff of Phantasm, Wraith and Nosferatu. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's version of Dragon's Blood is, hands down, the best version found anywhere in more than 2 decades. A gem! 5/5!