RogueFeenix

I'm so sorry things didn't turn out the way you wanted. But maybe it was for the best. You need a partner, not someone you have to mother. Yes turn the ring into everyday bling. I had a friend who turned her wedding ring into a necklace after she got divorced.

I have a lot on my mind. School should be my main focus but it isn't, my health is. Some days I feel fine, others I feel like my body is falling apart. I have always had joint pain, but when I was heavy it got to the point that I was in pain every night. Losing weight helped a lot but it is still there. I also had bad headaches. I thought I had found the trigger. Gluten, more to the point Celiac Disease, I can't eat wheat, and a huge host of other things. I did not get a blood test to confirm it, no cameras down my throat to see how damaged my intestines are. Although sometimes I would like the solid confirmation. I just stopped eatting it and it helped alot. I noticed that I didn't get sick from eating dairy anymore like I would before. I didn't have weird stomach aches in the middle of the night, no massive gas, and the joint pain went WAY down. Lately thought the joint pain has come back like before. Either I have been eating something with gluten in it, ( which I can tell you I haven't) or I have a secondary problem. Either way it sucks. I don't want to feel like an old lady when I'm only 26. I went on Antidepressants awhile ago, I had my meds switched because of a number of reasons the biggest one being I was having some bad bruising. I had up to 13 at one point, about half black and blue. All of them went away when I switched meds. I'm on zoloft now, and had noticed I had about 4 tiny but dark bruises. I didn't really think anything of it. Till today I noticed a huge dark one on my thigh and 3 on my arm. That's 8 in less than a week. It worries me, plus I have noticed that it takes me forever to stop bleeding if I cut myself. I do NOT want to have to switch meds again. I can't, it was bad enough the first time. The 2 or so weeks to took for my body to adjust (coming off the old stuff to the new) I reverted to the sobbing, angry, depressed OCD mess I was before I got help. I looked up the side effects of Zoloft on 4 different sites and none of them list major bruising or thin blood as one. I don't know if this is something else, a rare side effect of the meds (like before) or somehow linked to the celiac. I just want to feel healthy, not like crap. I want to not have pounding headaches, major bruising and pain. I know I'm luckier than a lot of people, mine isn't day in and day out. I just wish I felt better. Most of the time I'm ok with everything, I can deal but today and the past few days I just have had enough.

Well I guess I'll update this thing. The main reason I wanted to write something , is that I wanted to post in the cute love thread but didn't know what I wanted to say and didn't want to ramble since I tend to do that alot. Allen and I are together and we are so happy. Last night I went over to my parents house ( they are out of town, I'm water plants and getting mail for them). While he was at work, I cooked up some treats for him, and did laundry. He came over after work ( about 4am) and we laid on a blanket and watched the stars. We talked and held hands, and cuddled. I had never seen a shooting star before. First one I saw, I made a wish on it. He tried to guessed what it was but he was wrong. We laughed, we talked about stars, and a few other things. After a good bit and many falling stars ( I saw a bunch) he started to get eaten by bugs so we went in. We decided to stay in the big guest bed, it's and king and why the heck not. He showered and I got the bed all ready, we snuggled in this big fluffy bed while watching tv ( don't have a tv in the bedroom). The whole night I had HUGE grin on my face. I fell asleep snuggled on him, when he finally went to sleep he cuddle on my back like he normally does. In the morning we cuddled in bed a bit before he had to run off to a Dr's appointment. It was such a simple night but it was so amazing. He sleeps at my apartment all the time, we spend tons of time together, but something about last night was special. I can't put my finger on it. Sometimes I look over at him and just smile from ear to ear, I do it when he isn't looking and just watch him. When he wraps his arms around me it feels like home, when he smiles, it lifts me up, it makes me smile and I think how lucky I am to love him, and that he loves me too.

What do you think your best assets are? do you like your legs, or your eyes. I always wear blue when I want to feel good cause it brings out my eyes. Try that... or wear heels and a skirt to play up your legs. Play up what you like, and try on things you would NEVER try. Also ask the store clerks,or other people at the store..trust me they won't mind and it helps to get someone else's opinion. Go to a makeup counter or a sephora and get them to do your makeup. Watch HOW they do it, and then try to do it yourself. It might take a few trys but great makeup can turn something simple into not so simple. Also a friend takes a digital camera with her to the store and takes a picture of everything she trys on... so you can see what it looks like in the picture BEFORE you buy it.

I'm tired. so only going to make a note of this. Today and tonight was amazing! I had so much fun, got to go out shopping with my sister without the girls. I bought a beautiful dress that I think looks amazing on me. It has polka dots! :-) Had a good dinner, and spent time with someone I care who cares about about me. We watched Lady in the water an amazing movie it was prefect. Oh I also baked my dad's cake and it turned out perfect. I love baking, it makes me feel good, it's my thing. I'm good at it too. I can cook ok, but I LOVE to bake. And it has to be from scratch, anything else is cheating. LoL ok going to bed I'm beat. Still sick too, so this insomina thing really needs to go so I can get well faster.

I guess self taught. I use recipes, and then kind of mess with it from there depending on how the first try goes. I wish i had been taught by my dad's mom. My granny she was an amazing baker and cook but lived in a home when I was little and died by the time I started to get intrested in food. Baking really isn't hard as long as you have the tools and you follow the recipe.

I saw someone made a list of things that their switch witch might want to know about them. I thought it was a good idea so here I am. I have blue eyes, and love makeup. I'm not that adventurous with it day to day but I love to play with new colors and lip glosses. I have only recently started to get into bath things. Bubble baths, fizzes and such. I LOVE the moxie fizzyBOOMS. I wish I had an endless supply of them, actually I love all the ones I have tired. I have not really tired anything from LUSH. My sister bought a bunch of stuff from them and I used one of her fizzes, it was wonderful. I have been meaning to make a order but haven't as of yet. I am into tea, and Love SBS teas. All kinds of tea, I'll try anything once. I love honey in my tea also. Flavored honey is the best. I love books, I have tons and always looking for more. I love music and mix CD's. So a mix CD of music you love would be awesome. I LOVE art and pictures, photography is a hobby on mine. I am a proud aunt and with the above photography hobby I need picture frames. I never have enough. I love baking, it's kind of a hobby/passion, cooking is good too, but I'm not as good at that. I am pretty easy, I love crafty things, things made my hand. I'm sure I'll like anything I get, Just getting mail is the best. Anything that isn't bills :-) I'll add more as I think of it. I hope that helped whoever has my name. :-)

I think my niece's got me sick. They have been sick for 2 days. It seems like I keep getting sick. I know stress lowers your immune system and I have been stressed so it makes sense, but damn it I hate feeling like crap. I woke up this morning with a sore throat and it never really went away. I'm stopped up some..thankfully that hasn't gotten any worse. And my head is doing the floating balloon thing when your sinuses get stopped up. Other than that things are doing good. Spending time with family and friends is good. And I'm so glad it's the weekend. We are celebrating my dad's birthday Saturday and I'm making the birthday cake. German chocolate cake from scratch. First time I have made it for my family. Hope my dad likes it.

Welcome. It's not so scary.

my emotions are hard to make sense of. I'm hurt but wanting to heal and forgive and just alot of things. I want to be happy. And I keep listening to this song over and over. So I'm posting the lyrics. It is a song by KT Tunstall. It isn't very difficult to see why You are the way you are Doesn't take a genius to realise That sometimes life is hard It's gonna take time But you'll just have to wait You're gonna be fine But in the meantime Come over here lady Let me wipe your tears away Come a little nearer baby Coz you'll heal over Heal over Heal over someday And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself That these feelings are in the past You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf Because pain's built to last Everybody sails alone But we can travel side by side Even if you fail You know that no one really minds Come over here lady Don't hold on but don't let go I know it's so hard You've got to try to trust yourself I know it's so hard, so hard Come over here lady Let me wipe your tears away Come a little nearer baby Coz you'll heal over, heal over, heal over someday

I know, seriosuly that has to be the worst thing to say. So funny! .

I was thinking about going to see that tonight or sometime this week. They are playing it at our Arty theater. And that sounds like the latest Questionable Content web comic. and yes VERY funny.

The other post was just to exposing. Those that read it Thank you for the support. It means so much. It helps. I keep thinking of a song called Heal Over by KT Tunstall. If you get a chance to hear it, it's beautiful. maybe I'll post the lyrics later or some other time. Some quotes: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:If there is any reaction, both are transformed. Carl Jung "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down." Mary Pickford "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." James A. Baldwin "Pretend, Pretend until one day you aren't pretending anymore and you'll see you can survive, that you had what you needed all along" Unknown "I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve?.....I think I'm in the wrong building." Charles Schulz

ELIXIR V: MOXIE Smells like strong lemon on me. I Love lemon and this is so far my #1 lemon scent.

In the bottle: musky and powdery, reminds me of my dad's old vasline lotions he always out on when I was a kid. Reminds me of summer morning's when I was little and mom would let me get in bed with her when dad took his shower and he would come out of the bathroom dressed and smelling exactly like this scent. wet on skin: same musky but even more of a baby powder note on me. dry on skin: still smells like that lotion but I can barely smell it. 5 mins: it has disappeared save for a bare hint of the scent I think this will be swapped away. I thought I would love this and bought 2 bottles. Both going to new homes.

When I got my bottle of Ace of hearts I was hit with a wonderful rose scent. With small traces of the something that keeps it from being overpowering, that darkened it a bit. In the bottle it reminded me of pink moon, but simpler,more soft but complex rosey florals with a hint of something that keeps the rose from overtacking the scent. It has wonderful throw. Allen was with me when I tired from the cap and he said he could smell it, as I walked by. A little goes a long way on me. Rose scents don't normally work with my chemistry, but this works for me. I love it wonderful blend.

First applied: On at first sniff is smells just like cherry, but with a light vanilla tht you know will turn into something darker. 10 mins later: It has dried down to the metallic of Blood with a spicy base with a hint of vanilla. All in all this is nice, it has all the things i like about Blood, but with a more complex vanilla wine combo. I will keep the imp I have , and wear on occation but My heart still lies with plane old Blood.

I got this as an extra imp. A deceptively sweet orchid vanilla with a faint trace of stephanotis In the bottle: Spiced Sweetness, with a very faint hint of vanilla. First on, Wet: Smells almost smoky. Something I know, very familiar. Dry: the Smokiness is in the background and it almost smells like Queen mab to my nose, but sweeter. After about 10 mins This smells like a smoky vanllia version of Queen Mab to my nose. I like it, I will mostly use the imp up but not really me.

I actually had one last night after i ordered ( or this morning i didn't go to bed till 6 something am). In the dream everytime o would take a sniff og june gloom it would start to rain and cool down a bit ( cool down a bit for here is like high 70's or 80's). I'm so excited!!! I have something to look forward too, my broke ass is so happy!

Queen Mab, O, Dana O'Shee, Blood, Black phenoix.

Hi nella

I just hope that all you guys are taking care of yourselves. I'm so sorry that things suck right now but I'm sure things will clear up soon enough or at least lighten up a little. Sending good vibes you way. And as for the delay I don't think anyone really cares that much, I think it suck more from your end than from ours.

I don't know about you guys but i know fedex is GREAT. never had one problem with them, they had hubs all over the place and on top of that they are good for small busnisses, plus i got connections there( plus i live in memphis, tn the hub of all hubs for fedex) :-) Ups is ok but i WILL NOT ship overseas with them, they lost a package of mine of corse i got insuance but still it was an arm and a leg to ship it and then on top that they lost it. I only use fedex for overseas stuff never had a problem with it sense then. As for the cost thing, , I know I'm not the only one who would be willing to pay a higher price, It sucks for you most of all but your wonderful scents really are worth it. We want to have these scents for years to come so i think we can handle the cost increase.

Out of the bottle it smelled strongly of roses, which worried me (rose scents don't smell right on me) but this seems like a sweet rose not a green one. On the skin it was almost bitter smelling, still a strong rose scent but it took on a darker quality. After dry down it took on a sweet bitterness. Sniffing my wrists it is almost like sweet and sour candies, with a head of roses. Very nice and the air around me is a bit powdery, but soft rose and lavender mixed in. I love how complex it all is, all the notes mixing and floating off me in a nearly ethereal, iridescent wave of scent. I think I'm truly falling for this scent. 30 mins: The rose is totally hidden at the moment frankincense is a bit too strong but the lavender is right there help balance it out. I love the lavender in this, it smells of real lavender like I'm standing by some freshly cut. After an hour it as almost disappeared on me, I don't know if I'll be buying more but I will use up my imp.

The essence of faith, love and devotion: lilac, lemon, green tea, wisteria, osmanthus, white cedar, and Chinese musk. At first sniff it smells a tad bit powdery. On it smelled exactly like the inside of a craft store by the flowers. I'm not sure what is giving me that feeling, maybe the lilac or the wisteria. After it dried For a moment I could smell the lemon in it and that lasted only a second before it turned into a toned down version of the craft store smell. After about 5 mins the smell has faded a bit, it is VERY light and airy. Now as I smell my wrist I get the vision of a young girl being married off to a man she has not met, as her duty. As she is perfectly content in this marriage because she knows it is duty as a woman. I don't know if would were this much if at all but I like it. Maybe not for me but a very nice airy light scent.