persianmouse

It smells of smoke, ash, and the desert. And a slight whiff of burnt Arabian spices. It's odd...not bad, and would probably smell very good on a man.

Kitsune-Tsuki was one of the very first BPAL I wanted so badly to try (I have a thing for foxes). And I'm happy to say I love it. It smells like happy sexy fox apple blossoms (I know it has plum, and not apples, but something in it smells of apples to me). I normally hate fruity smells, but this one is great! The only one of the Diabolus bunch that I've tried that I wear.

This smells predominately peachy-patchouli. Like a hippie in Georgia. It's nice, but not my thing. Peach-scented stuff reminds me way too much of middle school, when I use to slather myself with this peach oil. I literally walked around in a fog o'peachiness.

Baobhan Sith- Smells like an aquatic diaper, without the baby powder. There is nothing I like about this scent. At all. Bleck.

I wore Stardust (the old Christmas blend) today. I finally figured out what it smells like; It smells like New Romantic/New Wave music. It smells like Ian Curtis and torn fishnets and sweat-dampened hairspray and late-night musical epiphanies and walking home with your heels dangling from your fingertips.

 

It smells like the end of the night in a dance hall or debauched night club, all sweated-out hairspray and restrained sex and expensive booze and heady perfume and haughty-looking girls in corsets and too much eyeliner languidly laying about each other on a couch, like some old panting of a harem.

 

It's a very....something smell. It reminds me very much of a dear friend I had in high school, a girl whose last named meant 'Tall Trees and Stars'. It smells kinda like sex, but more like furious dry-humping in mid-afternoon than full-on-sexcapades. It smells like making out with an old lover you know you shouldn't, in the parking lot of one of those decrepit little music halls, the kind the Ramones would have played back-in-the-day, a poor mans CBGB, after a night of sweaty dancing to New Wave and Goth music, and you smell like sweat and running make-up and hairspray (made from the tears of Robert Smith), and some kind of sweet alcohol that somebody spilled on you, and like envy and desperation, and vaguely of girls. It smells like that old Smiths song "How Soon Is Now?"

Harikata- If I ever came across a dildo (that's what Harikata means) that smelled like this, I would run far, far away. It's a very....strong scent. Like it won't ever go away. It smells like it would cause burning. Of course, I don't think Beth wanted to make it smell like an actual dildo, cause, well, ew. The ginger and the vanilla are locked in a struggle to the death for dominance. But no matter who wins, all will suffer.

Lover's Parodies of Sumo Holds- Well, while it was was on, it kind of smelled like sweaty thong. But I think the Lovers got kind of freaked out by that Octopus watching them from the bushes, so they ran out the first chance they got.

The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife- This smells like the kind of perfume an octopus might buy a girl to try to woo her over, right before all the horrible tentacle rape. The ambergris is the most powerful note, but there's something summer-at-the-seaside-y about it. All in all, Enraged Tentacle Musk doesn't smell too bad.

Men Ringing Bells With Their Penisesesess- Well, when I first put it on, I thought "This is the best smelling penis EVER!". However, once I put other scents on the same arm, the Penises became completely overwhelmed by the vulvas and dildos. Now when I smell it, I am reminded, for some strange reason, of those little pizza bagels. I don't know why.

This one is really nice. It's floral and sweet, and rather innocent. I can't smell the current at all. It smells like I would think a warm spring night in Japan would smell. It's plum and sakura and green tea up front, with the sake rounding out the rear. Very very nice, one of my favorites. And it can hold it's own right next to that Vanilla Vulva Candle (See my review for Glowing Vulva).

Ebisu Making Love While Two Octopi Look On- Wow, perverted Octopuses really smell quite nice. Makes the whole tentacle rape thing seem not too bad, really. The skin musk and oakmoss notes is most prominent. This one I might buy in a bottle. Even if it does have that creepy as hell Sexual Predator Octopus on the bottle.

Glowing Vulva at Ryogoku Bridge- Wow, you can really smell the cream in that vulva. *rimshot* Sorry, ladies, I had to. This is another smack-you-in-the-face-until-you-cry-for-your-mama scent. I don't think it will fade at all throughout the day. However, it also reminds me a bit of Lucifer, and well, check out my review for that one if you want to how that went. It doesn't smell bad, per se, but I would never want to smell like it. Reminds me a bit of cheap vanilla candles.

Butterflies and Plovers- My nose just got raped by an orange, while a violet laughed and filmed it in the background.

This was my very first BPAL I ever tried, and I got it in imp form.

 

This being my very first BPAL experience (first sniff, even), I was unfamiliar with the imp bottles, and how to do the opening on them? Do they pop off? Is it screw top? I don’t want to pull too hard, I don’t want to spill it…What’s this funny little lever on the side, do I pull it? Maybe if I just pull on-ARGHHARRHHskfFFFF…my eye, my eye!

 

Alas, I did pull too hard, splashing a fair bit of the Scorpio about, including, as you may have surmised, right into my eyeball.

 

Now, I don’t care how badly you think you eyeballs smell, or how cute your optometrist is, never put the BPAL onto your eyeball. It does not feel nice.

 

Imagine me, cornea burning out, unable to rub it out or move or yell out my displeasure in anyway, for fear of spilling more of my precious. I had to stand there in silent agony, retina slowly being destroyed.

 

However, some did mange to get onto my arm, and after rubbing it in, it does smell nice (although now blind, I still have a sharp sense of smell). When I first opened the imp, I didn’t care for the smell, very perfumey, very much like cheap, something-you-buy-at-711 fermented nastiness. Of course, it was currently raping my eyeball, so one could see where I might not be feeling too favorable towards it at that time. However, once I my skin, it began to smell nicer and nicer. I don’t know what the hell I’m smelling, but I like it. It smells just like the inside of a New England New Age Wicca crystal magic shops, all warm and incensey and suggestive of large-chested women in corsets.

This smells like Nacho Cheese Doritos. In the imp, on my skin, dry, it's always Nacho Cheese Doritos. I tried leaving the imp cap off for a few days, to quickly age it, and still....Doritos.

 

Always, always Nacho Cheese Doritos.

 

And sadly, I do not wish to smell like that.

R’Lyeh smells like the unholy lovechild of a pine tree and an apple tree. But in a good way. Go and get your freak on, trees.

Coyote is a very odd scent. There’s a sweetness to it, but not like any sweetness you normally smell. It’s sweet in the way a field of wheat in late afternoon is sweet. Or like a good smelling animal. And there something…not bloody, but fleshy maybe, in there too. Maybe how blood would smell to a carnivore.

I get such a vanilla smell from this one, though it lacks vanilla (maybe it’s the amber?). And I don’t like vanilla. This is the only one of the Retail Salong I’m not loving. It’s kinda pleasant, but generic. I was kind of hoping for something that would make me smell like The Dark Prince, like The MorningStar, like The Fallen Angel Lucifer, like The Senator from the great state of Hell. What I did not want to smell like was some dully trendy high school girl who wears aviator sunglasses and giant earrings and likes Paris Hilton (but won’t admit it), listens to FallOut Boy and thinks she’s a real scenester for it, wears those Jessica Simpson extensions you buy on QVC, says she’ll go into nursing or teaching, but hasn’t the brains or the discipline, will end up getting knocked up by some prick who spikes his hair and pops his collar, and he’ll be around at first, sure, and they’ll get ‘engaged’, but eventually she’ll find out he’s cheating on her with some girl named Trish who frosts her hair, and she’ll freak out and key his car, and then he’ll take her on Judge Judy, and Judy will mock the girl and yell ‘Not Smart!’ a lot and tell her ‘This guys a loser. GET OVER HIM, MADAM!’, and the exit interview will have her looking vaguely toward the left and trying to hard to smile in a casual mocking ‘I don’t care’ way and saying “Whatever. I’m just glad it over. I can get on with my life now.”, but she won’t, and never will.

 

Which is what this smells like. Also, kind of like sunblock. Which is odd, because sunblock doesn’t work in Hell.

It smells very strongly of sandlewood in the bottle and when first applied. But then I can hardly smell this after a few minutes. When at it's peak, it smelled like very sandlewoody baby powder. Like a hippie baby.

 

This might be one for a scent locket, seeing how if fades so fast on my skin.

I’m slightly disappointed that this oil wasn’t black. Cause that would be awesome. But this smells exactly how a Black Swan should smell, and not how swans actually smell (like swamp muck and crap). Very aquatic, heavy on the lily very wet and dark, but not in a scary ‘I’m stuck in an underground cave and I’m gonna die’ way, but in a nice sexy ‘Skinny Dipping at Night with Johnny Depp’ way.

Smells like the Lush shower gel Tramp. All oakmoss and nice patchouli. Slightly sharper, but still Tramp. Like pissed off Tramp (like right after Tramp found out it was discontinued the first time). And that is fabulous. It also lasts all day long.

Smells like cidery-apples and dry leaves on me (though the oil contains no apples). I normally don’t like foody scents on me, or apple scented anything, but this is really nice. Very very Autumny. Well, autumny if your no longer in school (then autumn smells like fear and self-loathing). Very orange (the colour, not the fruit). It kind of smells like what someone whose never smelled an apple would think it would smell.

Insanely sticky sweet perfume. Like the smell of the dressing room of a beauty pageant or drag show, after everyone left for the night. Baby powder, faded hairspray, expensive but stinky perfume, make-up, dry-cleaned dresses, anxiety and a bit of B.O.

 

Ick.

Do you remember those cups of juice they used to give you at lunchtime back in elementary school? The kind that came in an applesauce like container, where you have to pull back the foil. It came in a variety of flavors, like red, purple, almost apple, blue, orangish. Venice smells like either the red or blue flavor, spilled out on the hot cracked sidewalk of the playground, mixed with sand and old gum, on one of the last days of the school year (y’know, where no one does anything, and the teachers joke inappropriately with one another), right before the bees start coming.

Lear smells just like the wood chips I lined my hamsters cage with as a child. I guess that would be the cedar, but there’s also a very small warm smell of a living thing, like a hamster in there. Not really musk, just a smell of life. Very small life. I would like it on a man, but I don’t know if I like it on me. It also lasts forever, whether you want it to or not.