Lyrical

In vial: chocolate - real chocolate, not the dry, powdery cocoa of El Dia De Reyes and Gluttony. And cherries - real cherries, not the "cherry" that smells of almond essence! Wet on skin: chocolate blancmange and juicy, red cherries with a lighter floral note that must be orange blossom. Nice! Dry on skin: wait a minute! Where did the chocolate go? This is very nice, but the chocolate has all but disappeared, and is providing a sweet, rich, slightly creamy background for a pretty mix of cherry and orange blossom. It's very sweet and almost edible, although it doesn't actually smell of any recognisable foodstuff now. I could totally wear this! Afterthought: this is a chocolatey version of Bloody Mary - cherries and cream on a subtle chocolate base, yet still perfumy rather than straight up foody. It doesn't change much, but stays the same lovely scent for hours. Win!

In vial: juicy cranberries and ginger. Wet on skin: lovely, lovely cranberries! But it's not thick and juicy - it's thin and sweet and smoky and evocative, with a tang of ginger and spices. Dry on skin: next to the skin it's smoky and bitter, but the throw is fresh, sweet berries. I don't like the skin smell much, but the throw is gorgeous!

I ordered a decant of SMUT 2008, then received testable sniffies of the two previous vintages, so I'm reviewing all three here. In vial: 2006 - red musk and sugar and booze - just like it says. But is that a hint of patchouli? 2007 - sweeter and fruitier than 2006. 2008 - quite like 2007, but I think a little fruitier. No patchouli. Wet on skin: 2006 - very dark and sultry, almost woody, and quite sweet. 2007 - also dark, sweet and woody, but a tad lighter and fresher than 2006. There's an unexpected hint of vanilla, which is yummy! 2008 - still fruity. It's not quite as omgSEX as the previous vintages, perhaps because it's fresh? Dry on skin: 2006 - DIRTY! Rougher and dryer than 2007. It's dark, woody and boozy, and very, very sexy! 2007 - sweet, woody musk over a background of dark booze. Sexy, sultry, and definitely not worksafe (except in a very few professions!). If a man walked past wearing this, I might just have to rip his clothes off there and then! 2008 - DIRTY! Quite similar to the others after all. The sweetness and fruitiness fades quickly on me, leaving a dark, raw musk that is very sexy. (all of them) On me, the sweetness wears off fairly soon, but what's left is the sexiest thing I ever smelled! This should come with a warning on the bottle: "Don't use it if you don't mean it!" ETA: there's a definite note of vanilla in the 2008 version, which has now aged for 3 months in the imp. The musk is less raw and the whole scent is more rounded and sweeter.

In the vial: cocoa, which reminds me of El Dia De Reyes only sweeter. Wet on skin: cocoa and hazelnut Dry on skin: dry, powdery, nutty cocoa - like a really good quality chocolate praline. I was expecting some thing much gooier and sweeter than this! This is a lot like El Dia De Reyes only nicer.

In the vial: it's hard to pick out any particular notes. It's perfumy and there's something grassy which I think must be the kush, but it doesn't dominate. Wet on skin: it's rather dry and musky. I can't smell any redcurrant, but I can smell daemonorops (dragon's blood, right?) and what I believe to be kush. It's very, very dark - a mesmerising scent! Dry on skin: subtle and smoky and just a little sweet. It's very dark and sexy, particularly the Arabian musk. Nice!

In the vial: mmmmm - caramel and tobacco (scent tobacco, not real tobacco) Wet on skin: the same tobacco as Mr Nancy, with a strong caramel note, coconut and amber. Nice! Dry on skin: the caramel fades away, and gradually so does the sweetness. The tobacco is the strongest note. Later it's nearly all tobacco and a generally dry, weedy smell. There are clearly skin chemistry issues here! But the weedy phase doesn't last more than an hour. Now it's a sort of dry, sweet, smoky musk, not entirely unlike Hunter's Moon. I tested it again with identical results, so this is not something I'm going to wear. Shame - I would have loved caramel and coconut!

In the vial: tropical fruit cocktail - yummy! Wet on skin: melon and lychee and melon and tangerine and melon and a tiny touch of resin. Dry on skin: mmmmm, lovely tropical fruit, still mostly cantaloup melon and lychee. I won't be ordering a bottle, because I prefer my scent to smell of scent rather than of fruit, but I think this is my favourite from this batch!

Jasmine with a hint of rose and amber and a touch of grapefruit. Sadly I'm not getting white musk, which was the note I was really looking forward to! Unfortunately the imp broke in transit and there isn't enough here to test it on my skin. However, there was a piece of paper in the envelope which is now soaked in scent, and it's rather nice although too jasminey to be quite my cup of tea.

In bottle: fresh, spicy cologne. Wet on skin: beautiful! Sweet, golden, a little spicy and delicately lemony. Gender neutral. Dry on skin: rich, smooth and golden, with a slightly spicy, smoky edge. It's very well-blended. The last note to come out is the vanilla musk, which takes over as the lemon fades away, but the end result is still smooth and yellow. I have no idea what the label art is supposed to be, although I've spent some time viewing it from all angles!

In bottle: sweet rose, fruit, and almond. Wet on skin: quite beautiful! A gorgeous blend of fruit and flowers in which a particularly lovely shade of rose is prominent but not dominant. Good throw! Dry on skin: this reminds me a little of Seraglio, which I liked but which had practically no throw at all. It's richer and redder than Seraglio, though - very round and sweet and juicy. The cherry is of the almondy sort, and the other notes just blend so that the end result is rose, perfectly balanced with juicy dark fruits. This can sometimes go a bit soapy. However it layers really well with Bathsheba, which adds some dry, sexy musk to the sweet, rounded juicyiness of Libra. It's a lovely blend and I'm really glad I got a bottle.

In vial: nail polish remover! *sniffs again* Still nail polish remover. I think perhaps it's the pear that is giving me that association. Wet on skin: a fruity-floral mix in which pear dominates. A little bit woody, rather herbal ... *sniffs more* ... and there's the plum! Nice! Dry on skin: still a herbal pear, with a touch of wood. The plum, quince and fig hint at a dark, succulent background, which is perfectly balanced by the pale florals. It's similar to Tenochtitlan, but dryer and woodier. Very nice!

In vial: rounded, fruity, spicy, plummy. Paler and smoother than Bathsheba. Wet on skin: lovely! I think Bandersnatch musk is a pale rather than a dark musk. The plum note is distinctive but blends nicely in with the carnation and chrysanthemum. It's spicy too - like stewed plums seasoned with cloves. Dry on skin: spicy plum - and with plenty of throw. I really like this! It's much spicier and less musky than Bathsheba (another favourite) and the plum is even plummier - in fact it's rather foody, which Bathsheba isn't. This one may well be going on my bottle list - it's heavenly!

In vial: sharp, yet smooth. I can smell grapefruit and lavender and a garden in summer. Wet on skin: fresh and tart and very fruity! Dry on skin: the sharp edge fades and it becomes sweeter and more floral, but a cosy herbaceous garden floral rather than romantic floral - like picking red currants in a well-kept garden on a summer day. It's a little bit soapy, but still nice. It becomes more herbal as the grapefruit fades. Like Croquet, this is a cheerful blend of citrus, herbs and flowers which you wouldn't expect to find together! After a few hours it ends up a pleasant mixture of redcurrant and herbs. It works and I will enjoy it, but I don't see a bottle in my future!

In vial: orange (the sort of pure orange oil in Terry's Chocolate Orange) and flowers. Wet on skin: a sweet, smoky orange, which is almost chocolatey! Dry on skin: this is very strongly orange - a dark, smoky, incensy orange. It's really very nice, but not quite me.

In vial: gorgeous white musk, coconut and lime. I can't wait to put some on! Wet on skin: cold yet with a subtle, dusty warmth! It's similar to my favourite Black Pearl (white musk and coconut) but with the added freshness of lime and lemongrass. Dry on skin: icy yet beautiful! Still a subtle blend of white musk, coconut and lime - the other notes are just a cool, pale background. This one's a winner!

In vial: sour, flowers, sweet honey, wine, tobacco ... Wet on skin: honeyed white grapes, flowers and musk. Light and sophisticated. There's no red wine or chocolate though, and only a hint of tobacco. It's like a paler, fresher version of Horreur Sympathique. (Bingo - that's why I chose it!) Dry on skin: after a while the smokiness of the tobacco comes out, but it remains pale, fruity, musky honey. Then it morphs into smoky honey, and the final note is pure honey. Lovely! The second time I wore it, it reminded me of Mr Ibis.

In vial: sweet, pale and delicate. Airy and floral. Wet on skin: pale and juicy. There's a fresh citrus note here, either lemon or lime, with a hint of grapefruit, but it's not overly sharp and the floral element sweetens it. Chilly but nice! Dry on skin: this has so little throw that I can't tell I'm wearing it unless I press my nose to my skin! It's sharper now, with a mild, herbal note. It ends up as a pale, slightly soapy, smoky herbal floral, which is barely discernible 2 inches from my skin!

In vial: lemon, aniseed, mint and something bitter which I presume is wormwood. Wet on skin: sharp, headache-inducing lemon with aniseed and cold mint. Dry on skin: very aniseed with a touch of mint and lemon. It's refreshing and pretty, but unfortunately I don't like aniseed! However, my son loves this, and asked if he could have it. It's his first BPAL!

In vial: dragon's blood. Wet on skin: it smells the way it looks - thin and a bright, clear red. It's actually nicer than the other dragon's blood scents I've tried, Wrath and Dragon's Heart - clean and lightly fruity. Dry on skin: this smells of hyacinth on me (so did Wrath). It's quite sweet and light and pleasant, but not one I'll ever get a bottle of. My daughter bagged it that's fine with me.

In vial: ew - there's that note again! I must work out what it is, because I don't like it! Amber and floral with something yucky! (I think it might be jasmine.) Wet on skin: a pleasant but unremarkable smoky floral and amber. Dry on skin: there's something slightly off here, but it's mostly a conventional, floral perfume - like cheap bubble bath. But the off note grows stronger and I really don't like this much. I gave it to my daughter.

This was a frimp - I'd never have ordered it, but I was prepared to be pleasantly surprised. In vial: smoky, horned, pronged and strange! Wet on skin: ugh - patchouli?! Dry on skin: it smells like a hairy, dirty animal. Horned, pronged and strange indeed! Oh well, better luck next time!

In vial: it's lavender, but it's more. It's bitter and smoky and salty, yet also sweetly floral! Wet on skin: cold lavender, menthol, and sweet wild flowers. I can definitely envisage bonfire smoke and the wind howling over the Atlantic. I don't know how it smells of the sea, but it does. The colour is a dark purplish grey. This is like standing on a windswept hillside, looking out over a bleak moorland landscape and a stormy sea, but at your feet are tiny purple flowers. Dry on skin: As it dries the bitterness comes out, then it fades into cold, minty sweetness. Sniffing it gives me sharp headache twinges, but I can't drag my wrist away from my nose! It's like a mass of wild herbs with tiny mauve flowers, which smell of mint when you crush their leaves. After an hour or so, all that is left is a posy of sweet, mauve-flowered herbs, dusted with powdery salt from the sea spray. It's poetry in a bottle!

In vial: 1st sniff: rich. 2nd sniff: dry. 3rd sniff: reminds me of a cologne from my childhood. There's a sweetness here too. It's gorgeous! Wet on skin: lovely! I can't make out any particular notes, but it's fresh and rich and warm and brown with a hint of green. Dry on skin: as it dries it passes quite close to the golden glow of Belle Epoque, then moves nearer the warm spicy amber of The Lion. But it's not either of them. It's smooth, golden and spicy, with an unexpected note of sweet vanilla, but still with a feral element. Lovely! Not a lot of throw, though. It ends up as rather powdery sweet, vanilla musk. I never did find any red wine. Very nice indeed!

In vial: rich, russet-red, and gorgeous! It's gender neutral, with the lovely warmth of amber and red musk and a sophisticated blend of other notes peeking through. Wet on skin: 1st thought: this is a bit like Debauchery! 2nd thought: it's sweeter, prettier and more complex than Debauchery, although it has a similar rich, fruity smoothness. Brilliant! Dry on skin: this is lovely. It has a very comfortable amount of throw, despite being faint close to the skin. I can detect orange peel and chamomile, but it's mostly a subtle, warm, slightly smoky glow.

In vial: cherry (the almondy sort), vanilla and *sniffs harder* just a twist of strawberry. Wet on skin: cheesecake! A biscuit crumb base with vanilla cream cheese, topped with a thin layer of jam. I was expecting more fruit than this! Dry on skin: syrupy cherries and strawberries - canned rather than fresh - over a base of creamy vanilla. It's foody and yummy and it gets better all the time, but it's not quite as fabulous as Monster Bait: Bloody Mary. The final notes are strawberries and vanilla cream.