kebechet

NO EXPLODING! =D

Leakage happens sometimes. =/ It can be caused by anything from wonky bottles to weird air-pressure shifts and jostling in transit. There's always human error, too. Heh. We do our best to make things right when stuff like that happens. Thanks for the kind words, guys. We do try our hardest, and nothing makes me happier than making y'all happy. Seriously. =)

You made me choke on my Red Bull.

Ah, well. My response was intended to quell your concerns. I also wished to address your comments on the fullness of the bottles, as it is something I think all of our customers should be aware of. In this, you state that we have erred in many ways. It is in contradition with your email to us, which stated your displeasure in the lack of frimps in your friend's order, your dissatisfaction with the amount of oil in each container, and that you feel that it is more cost-effective for you to purchase from people on the forums, as opposed to the Lab directly, and your worry that you would not be able to recoup what you feel are your losses when you resell our product. You also stated that your email had not been answered. I simply clarified that it was sent and responded to within 22 hours. When we are in error, we do everything we can to correct a problem. In this case, I wanted to clarify, since this was a post made to the general public, the nature of the situation and illustrate our current filling proceedures.

The Trading Post Budding Moon update is live! All praises to Empress Macha for another stunning design! - - - The Lupercalia update is live! What's new? Smut, smut, and more smut! Ok, maybe there are some things in Lupercalia that aren't quite so smutty. I'm just so damn enamoured of that word lately. Oh man, you should see the crude concepts I had lined up for this update initially. Something about Valentine’s Day really brings out the pig in me. You should see my research material. *insert raised eyebrow here* Anyway, ‘nuff babbling. Its update time! :: LIMITED EDITION: LUPERCALIA KHAJURAHO The fabled Khajuraho temples of India are shrines of love in all its myriad forms. They are a celebration of love itself – transcendental, spiritual and erotic. This is a rejection of sorrow, spiritual ennui and despair. The sexual motifs that adorn the temples, and the temples themselves, are monuments to ecstasy and to passion, and through that, they are also monuments to spiritual fulfillment. It is believed that the realization of moksha by dedicating oneself to adhyatma and dharma can be attained only by first experiencing sexual satisfaction. In the midst of the drudgery and struggle that we sometimes endure during the course of our Earthly lives, it is vitally important that we remember the joy found in kama, and that in kama we can achieve transformation of the body and soul. This is a blissful, euphoric blend based on an ancient Indian love potion: honey, date palm, tuberose, davana blossom, amber, white sandalwood, vanilla bean, Damask rose, and champaca flower. LUPERCI Piss off, Saint Valentine! Lupercalia is an ancient Roman celebration, held on February 15th, that kicked in the advent of Spring with a very, very festive purification, fertility and sexuality ritual. The ritual began near the cave of Lupercal on the Palatine, an area sacred to Faunus, as well as Ruminia, Romulus and Remus. During Lupercalia, Vestal Virgins first made offerings of sacred cakes to the fig tree under which the she-wolf suckled the Sacred Twins. A dog and two goats were then offered in sacrifice to Faunus. The blood of the sacrifice was smeared onto two naked patrician youths, who were assisted by the Virgins, and the blood was wiped clean with sacred wool dipped in milk. The youths donned the skins of the sacrificial goats, wielding whips made from the goat skins, and then led the priests and the Virgins around the pomarium, and around the base hills of Rome. This was a ceremony of great happiness and merriment, and was of particular interest to young women: being touched by the goat-whips young men that led the procession ensured their fertility in the coming year. It is believed that, after the initial rite, male participants would draw the name of an available maiden, with whom he spent the rest of the night. This scent is for the Luperci, the Chosen of Faunus, the Brothers of the Wolf: raw, down and dirty patchouli, Gurjam balsam, and essence of Sampson Root sweetened with the heightened sexuality of beeswax, virile juniper, oakmoss, ambrette seed over honey and East African musk. NIGHT’S PAVILION I worship you like night's pavilion, O vase of sadness, o great silent one, And love you more since you escape from me, And since you seem, my night's sublimity, To mock me and increase the leagues that lie Between my arms and blue immensity. I move to attack, beseige, assail, Like eager worms after a funeral. I even love, o beast implacable, The coldness which makes you more beautiful. Not the desperation, desolation and anguish of unrequited love, but the distant, chill and pitiless scent of the object of that doomed desire. White musk, osmanthus, Nile lily and frankincense. PARLEMENT of FOULES For the Valentine’s Day purists. For this was on seynt Volantynys day Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his mate. Medieval romance and courtly love. White rose and soft resins. THE PERFUMED GARDEN Under her neck my right hand Has served her for a cushion, And to draw her to me I have sent out my left hand, Which bore her up as a bed. The Perfumed Garden for the Soul’s Recreation. This scent is based on a venerable Tunisian perfume that was used to excite the senses, inspire sensuality and inflame passion. Myrrh and Moroccan jasmine with apple peel, Indian sandalwood, myrtle, quince, citron, and thyme poured over soft musk. RED LANTERN A tribute to the opium den cum bawdyhouses of Shanghai in the 1930’s. Golden amber, blonde tobacco, Sudanese black coconut, rich caramel, black currant, white opium and delphinium laced with a sensual blend of Asian spice. SMUT What a great freakin’ word. BPAL LOVES SMUT! Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes. Venus and 13 are live, and Budding Moon is also live, both at the Lab and at the Trading Post. - - - When placing your Trading Post order, PLEASE keep in mind that Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and Black Phoenix Trading Post are two separate entities. Orders for Trading Post items that are sent to the Lab will be refunded and cancelled. Please make sure that you send all Trading Post PayPal payments to the appropriate address. This is of particular importance when it comes to Lunacy tees; Tedwin only orders enough to fill the requests he receives, and if he does not have your order in hand, he does not enter them into the count. Sending a Trading Post order to BPAL instead of BPTP slows the process down severely on both sides, and creates more confusion than our widdle heads can handle. Thank you for understanding!

Rho, my brain is actually full of useless trivia, cobwebs and potty jokes.

HAHAHAH! I had to backspace over a potential scent combo for that, as it was way too offensive, even for me.

Ooh. New scent: the Devil's Panties.

Hiyas Carly. =) While that is implied in her post here, in her actual email [which she will forward to anyone interested, as she stated] she received all the imps that she ordered. It was a matter of the fullness of the bottles and vials. Other than that, her main complaint was that she can get imps cheaper on the forums than she can from us, and the secondary complaint was that we didn't send free imps to her friend. Dood, Brian and I talk about government cheese ALL THE TIME!

Fin, I'll take free cheese over free chonies any day of the week.

This is from the time stamp on your email to us: From: Broken Angel [mailto:***@***.com] Sent: Thursday, January 12, 2006 9:57 PM To: answers@blackphoenixalchemylab.com Subject: Order Problem..... You were answered within 22 hours, by our house manager himself. I don't mean to seem abrupt, but I think that an answer received within one business day is unreasonable at all, especially considering the volume of email we are receiving at this time. With regards to the 5ml and 10ml bottles and the imps: We are using medical equipment that fills each bottle and vial precisely. The variation occurs in the depth and dimension of the glass, not with the amount of oil, as I have stated elsewhere. When we were, unscientifically, eyeballing each bottle, our customers received what was the same amount to the naked eye, not what was actually 5ml, 10ml or 1/32oz of oil. The viscosity of the oil may have some effect on the appearance of fullness. With regards to unanswered emails: At this time, the customer service email box has three emails in the inbox: two from me, and one that is Viagra spam. Now, you say that the orders were incorrect. Was that simply with regards to the fullness of the bottles? There was only one incident of mass spillage recently, and that was with Naughty & Nice. I know that this last part is going to come off as really unpleasant, but it really bothers me when people complain about the number, or lack of, freebies in an order. They are free. Free imps. They are not free for us. It takes materials to create them and labor to assemble them. They are sent as a courtesy, and we do our best to see to it that all orders have a little extra something. Sometimes, in the swirl of activity, free -- again, free being the operative word -- imps sometimes get overlooked. But they're free. Not paid for, free. And it is a courtesy. I don't get free cheese when I go to the market. I don't get free hair dye when I go to the salon. I don't get free panties when I go to a lingerie shop. If I did get any of this, I would be grateful and would consider it a bonus. But it is not something that I expect, or demand, and I do not consider the lack of gifts from a company to be a commentary on their service. You're not starting anything. If emails are somehow not getting to us, or if our replies are not being seen, I need to know about it. Can you please PM me with your name and email address and I can see if I can find anything. There is a possibility that we are being spam-blocked or filtered by your ISP.

Sara, Anthony and Forest all take care of the customer service emails, and no email goes unanswered. What email address are you sending your inquiries to?

I’m sorry about making this kinda short, but I’m a little behind on a few things because of my two days out, and I’m trying to catch up on heaps ‘tween working on the update. =P Its been a nutty month. 13 is going live around midnight tonight. It will stay live through the 15th, and will come down with Budding Moon. I say 'around midnight' because... well, you know me. I'm always late. 8) A Demon in my View and the Yule scents will also come down when Budding Moon vanishes. Venus will parallel Budding Moon… just in time for Valentine’s Day. On the topic of VD [poor-taste pun’like foolishness], a few Valentine’s LE scents will go up with Budding Moon. The Budding Moon tees will go live as soon as I have everything ready on BPTP. Cross your fingers that I’ll be done messing with the site tonight. The next Poe set and the Chakras will not be live until at least February. I know I’m missing something I meant to say, but… I guess I’ll cover anything that’s escaping me when 13 goes live tonight. Heh!

We're doing Convergence in NOLA. Show up, or be tarred and feathered.

We seem to be having a problem with mail that's coming in to our mailing addy... the Hillhurst one. From now on, please send all snail mail orders to BPAL's physical address: Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab 5523 Satsuma Ave North Hollywood, CA 91601 I will update the info on the site when I get a moment. Thanks!

First off, the thing you guys want to know most: All orders that were placed prior to November 15th have been shipped, within the time limit prescribed by the USPS in order to be received in time for Christmas. The only exceptions are the few orders that, for one reason or another, are on hold, and all the involved clients have been contacted by Sara. Leave it to someone like me to start a Holiday Love Post with a Neener, but… to those few skeptics that accused me of playing semantics games with the ‘guarantee’ notice on the front page: pttttttttttht. As if I’m that sort of person. Thanks to innumerable hours of overtime and gratuitous bribery, we did it, like Brian and I guaranteed we would, and though it’s a little frightening to say that it is now in the hands of the post office… well, we did our best, they’re in the post, and hell willing, you’ll all have your boxes in your hands in a timely manner. I know that Love Fests get overcooked this time of year, but everything I say is blurted with the utmost blathering sincerity, so suffer through another “I Love You Guys” post… Thank you to all of our customers… not just for supporting us, but for all the friendship, kindness, patience and love that you’ve shown all of us throughout 2005, and during all the years that we’ve spent cranking out scents. On a personal level, so many of you have been there for me during times of crisis, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. On a business level… its obvious that we couldn’t be where we are without all of you, but I believe that it is always important for me to express our sincerest, most heartfelt gratitude. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I think that the most wonderful thing about my own experience with BPAL is the unbelievable community that it gave birth to. My life has become more beautiful for having known you guys, and that is something brilliant that I’ll have with me for the rest of my life. And now, love for the Rats: A huge thank you to all the guys at the Lab that put so much love, effort, time and sweat into seeing to it that we made our deadline. A huge thank you to the Bottle and Vial Rats: Forest, Julie, Elysia, Vlad, Stephen and Lauryn. A huge thank you to the Pack Rats: Sara, Josh, and Matt. A huge thank you to the Customer Joy Rat: Sara. And finally, a ginormous fucking thank you to Anthony, the Head Rat, for all those insane, 14+ hour days and 3am clock-out nights spent shipping his ass off. Love, squishy hugs and thanks, also, to my partner in BPAL Shenanigans, Brian, the Blonde Rat, and to my consort, Puddin. These are two men that I can’t live without. Happy holidays, everyone. I hope that 2006 doesn’t kick our asses, that the year is full of bright beginnings, painless endings, and enough debauchery to keep us all busy without landing us in jail.

The USPS does not seem to be updating C&S status. If you have received a C&S notice from us, or from the Trading Post, rest assured that the package is in the hands of the post office. Neither we, nor Teddy, are sitting on any boxes.

Happy holidays, everyone! This is a tiny update, as we’re still in the middle of Yule shipping, and we’re bracing ourselves for the first updates of the New Year. Holiday Moon, Luna and Mercury are $15 each, are live for the usual Loony time, and can be found on the Limited Edition page. Holiday Moon tees and the first of the BPAL statues [and two corresponding scents: La Fée Verte and Hellion] can be found at Black Phoenix Trading Post. Teddy and his goblin posse at the ‘Post are on pins and needles awaiting the arrival of the first aroma lockets. Look for those in the upcoming month.

Snow Moon: Brick & Mortar Pajama Extravaganza We will be open for Snow Moon on Thursday, December 15th, from 5pm til 10pm. Due to the daytime lack of parking and out of courtesy to our 9-5 clientele, we're going to be opening at night . The address is: 5523 Satsuma Ave North Hollywood, CA 91601 ::|:| mapquest |:|:: ::|:| yahoo maps |:|:: It may be a little hard to find. Satsuma looks like an alley, but isn’t. The building itself is a warehouse covered in gloriously strange pale blue aluminum siding. Sexy. We’re on the right side of the building. Mr. Thrifty [our mini-skeleton] will be in the window, and there’s a very obviously half-finished budding new herb garden in the front. While you’re in the area, you may want to hit up three other shops on our street. There are two wonderful architectural salvage places and a great stained glass shop. Tell them the new freaks down the road sent you. 8) The primary problem that we may have this week [and forever afterwards] is parking. There are four spaces in front of BPAL. Ok, now onto the Plan: Unfortunately, our wretched credit card system is still unprepared for retail in-store sales. At the moment, the damned thing won’t even let me log in. Anyway, all in-house sales on Thursday will have to be either cash, or through PayPal. We will have a terminal set up there for people who want to use the latter. The next bit is almost verbatim from the last two Will Calls: If you would like to place an order for pick-up on Snow Moon, please do the following: Email us at willcall@blackphoenixalchemylab.com with your order. Payment may be remitted by PayPal ahead of time to willcall@blackphoenixalchemylab.com, or you can pay at Pick Up with cash or using one of our computers as a PayPal terminal. When making your payment, please omit shipping charges. You may purchase any current catalogue oils, as long as we have them in stock. Anniversary scents will be available, as will Yule LE's. Please remit all PayPal pre-payments by 11pm PST on Wednesday, December 14th, so that we can get your orders together. Some t-shirt overstock from BPTP will also be on hand, but those will have to be in-store purchases, since I'm not positive which sizes and styles will be there. Snow Moon tees will be available for purchase, and the first of the Black Phoenix statues and pendants will also be ready for preview and purchase. We will do our best to accommodate all orders of 5mls and imps, but sales will be based on availability. Imp Packs will be available, but we would prefer that, if you are going to purchase imps, you pre-order them so we can expedite the process. In all cases, its probably best to pre-order anyway, so we can make sure we have the oils allotted, or will be able to tell you beforehand if we’re out of stock. You get the gist. At this time, we cannot accept checks, money orders, or credit card payments for WC. Since we're opening at night, pajamas are welcome, but optional. Sara is swamped, so please direct all questions to Teddy at tradingpost [at] papow [dot] net. Teddy will do his best to help you out with anything that comes up. <-- Happy Wagner Valkyrie

Hi guys. I want to thank everyone for their friendship during what is, for me, not exactly a happy time. I can't tell you how much it means to me... and reading the support thread was indescribable. You all really did help me get through the worst of this. BPAL will be open on Dec 15 for Lunacy. Once I get home from the Lab, I'll repost ordering instructions here, with specifics on what will and won't be ready on that day. *hugs!*

I feel weird posting like this, but I always feel its best to be upfront. Someone close to me passed away last night, so even though its business as usual here at the Lab, I'm not feeling very communicative. I don't want anyone to think that I'm blowing them off, so I'm explaining why I'm going to be a little distant for a week or so. Thanks for understanding!

The three new tees and the first of the hoodies are live! Also, the Naughty or Nice Inquisition has begun. The Inquisition commences tonight, and draws to a close on December 3, 2005. - - - Due to the addition of the hoodies, and the imminent arrival of the statues, bottle-tops and lockets, there is a new shipping scale based on weight. Please refer to the BPTP FAQ for more information.

To celebrate three years of making everything around us smell, I’m posting the prototype list for 2006’s updates. As you already know, the following are in the works: 51 Anath Apocalypse Ariel Astarte Avalon Babalon Bé b'lia Belshazaar Berlin Bien Loin D'Ici Boleskine Camlann Ceylon Conjuration Decadence Dragon's Teeth Elegy Ennui Erebos Eurydice Event Horizon The Eyes of Beauty Fascination Freyja Giza Gossamer Havana Hel Hi'iaka Howl Isolde Jinx Koshchei Lemuria Loki Lorenz Attractor Melbourne Miranda Mu Na-maka-o-Kaha'i Nairobi Naked Singularity Oblivion Odin Orlando Orpheus Pandemonium Percival Prospero Rebecca Requiscat Risis Romeo Rosmerta Sanguine Moon Schrodinger's Cat Set Sidhe Superstition Tannhauser Thou Art That Tristam Tsuyu Val Sans Retour Vampyre Vesuvius Vitriol Wasp in a Wig Xanadu Xochiquetzal Yekum ... and the Mock Turtle's Lessons Several limited editions will be coming in sets this year. The first pairings of the year will be... Agony & Ecstasy Cain & Abel With more pairings to come. In the beginning of the year, A Demon In My View will be followed by a Limited Edition series dedicated to Poe’s stories. Other LE sets will rotate throughout 2006. Also in the works for 2006+: Abattoir Adamian Alarbus Anzu Apophis Aavak Aquidah Ariel Archimedes Aufhocker Autolycus Bahamut Basilisk Betrayal The Black Hills Black Lily Black Orchid Blood Lily Bleeding Heart Blessed Virgin Butterwort Caliban Carmilla Chiron Chudo-Yudo Cobweb Corpse Flower Damballah Death Cap Demetrius Devil’s Tongue Dilmun Dragon Lily Dragon’s Reverie Dreamtime El Arbol de la Muerte Embraced Euryale The Extasie Falak Fallout Falak Fiend Ghastly Gloaming Howl The Huluppu Tree Iseut aux Blanches Mains Jessamine Ken-Yu Kurnugi Lavinia Lethe Love-Lies-Bleeding The Magi Mediatio Medusa Miranda Moksha Monster In My Closet Monster Under My Bed Mukti Nebuchadnezzar Nepenthe Nineveh Notre Dame Opium Poppy Ozymandias Pease-Blossom Pleasure Dome Privet Prospero[/s] Quinta Essentia Saladin Scourge Seventh Seal Sheol Solve Et Coagula The Song of Songs Speakeasy Stavin’ Chain Stingray Strangler Fig Sundew Tiamat Toxin The Travail of Passion Trinity Vesper Iris Water Hemlock Yellow Oleander Zaire Acta Sanctorum Alchemical Allegories The Arthurian Collection The Chakras Demonology The Great Alchemists Collection La Garde The Loas Nursery Bogies & Fearsome Critters Quantum Physics The Sphinxes … plus, further additions to Excolo, the Panaceas, Wanderlust, Ars Draconis and Illyria, a new section dedicated to scents inspired by physical artforms, and the usual gloomy poems, perverts, playwrights and poisonous plants. In December, BPTP will have the first of the bottle-clutching statues. In January, Tedwin will be debuting the first of our scent lockets. The prototypes have been finalized, and they are KILLER. Also in the beginning of 2006, coffin-shaped imp boxes. As always, we’ll keep you posted. As for the rest of the day... well, your narrator is passing out. Thank you so much, everyone! You make life worth living! Edit: I've crossed out the ones that have been released so far. It will help twofold: Beth will be able to keep track and the rest of us can still go "Oooh I can't wait till _____________ comes out!" It will be edited as needed by a mod or Beth herself ~ BDS, April 2006 Ditto, though I may have missed a few. ~Morrighana, March '07

Holy Hell, I need to go to bed.

:|:|| snow moon ||:|: Art, of course, by the Doodle Goddess!