My own take on Karma
Valentina's post on the topic of Karma reminded me of a post I had been meaning to write a few months ago on the exact same topic.
First, as a bit of introduction. The summer between my junior and senior years of college I fucked up. Part of it was being 20 years old and personally stupid, and part of it was being naiive and not realizing I was being sucked into a vortex of other people's problems. I won't go into details because it was stupid, and anyway, it happened 6 years ago. The drama culminated in the woman involved in the drama threatening to drive to Nashville and shoot me.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago, she calls my mother (my parents phone number was on the lease I signed that summer when I rented their house) trying to track me down. My mom won't give her my contact info, but accidentally let slip I was in St Louis. I'm in the phone book, so it was easy to find me. My mom was nice enough to call me and let me know this woman had called. She had told my mom that she needed "closure".
(Let me interject that counselors/therapists/well meaning friends who tell people to dig up people from their past and demand "closure" are jackasses. Seriously, what is the point of trying to stir up 6-year-old shit? To re-open old wounds? Seriously, what is the logic?)
Anyway, due to the beauty of caller ID, I screened her calls and let the machine take them. They weren't mean or anything, she just wanted an apology. Well, to paraphrase House, you either get to ask for an apology, or you get to threaten to shoot me, you don't get both. And to be perfectly honest, I have nothing to apologize for other than having been 20 years old and attractive. I didn't actually do any of the things she still firmly believes I did.
She left three messages, the last one ending with, "I'm not going to call you again, but you know, I believe in Karma"
Snort. You know what, me too. I made mistakes, I learned from them. I apologized when appropriate, and grew the hell up. Got less naive and less stupid. And the more I learn from my mistakes, the smoother my life seems to go. Everyone makes mistakes. Karma isn't just about cosmic retribution, it's about learning. It's about getting smacked upside the head with the clue stick if you can't figure it out for yourself. Well, I figured out what I was doing that was stupid, and I fixed it. No need for the clue-by-four.
Her, on the other hand... Well, her life has not been so smooth. Some things beyond her control, but by no means all. Seriously, if she wants to dig up 6 year old shit, she can wallow in it all by her lonesome. And honesly, has no right to complain about the stink, since she's the one who dug it up. I wonder why, if she believes so much in Karma, she can't see that the universe might be trying to tell her that her own hunger for drama is stupid.
So, yeah. i don't really know where I was going with this, I just wanted to get off my chest how funny I thought it all was...
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