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Evolution in rant form

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antimony

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I've been on the forum forever. Like, I joined when it wasn't even bpal.org yet. I have a double-digit member number, and what looks like a ton of posts, but when you spread it out over how long I've been here... Anyway, the forum has gotten huge, and I don't feel like I connect very much anymore. I feel like the bulk of the community (at least the people talking) are students or artists, or whatever. And my spreadsheet-jockey, buisiness-casual lifestyle really doesn't fit in.

 

And the funny thing is, I feel like I used to. Certainly the community has opened up to wholeheartedly embrace all kinds of people, but every thread that bashes private colleges or higher education just turns my stomach. Every thread that dumps on people essentially for having disposable income and then, gasp, spending it! Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive, but I'm not taking away from anyone else by being successful, and the pattern of every time lifestyle/socioeconomic class/income/etc comes up in a thread, the undercurrent is that is is somehow inherently immoral to be well off just irritates the crap out of me. I work hard, have a valuable skill, and made some good choices. I earned my good life.

 

I did not grow up rich. I did not grow up priveledged. We moved to the US when I was a little kid, My dad was a professor at a state college, and my mom was a post-doc. But they worked hard, and I learned a lot about what it takes to "make it."

 

I am not evil. I am envionmentally conscious. I drive a fairly fuel-efficient car, and live close to work so I won't have a crazy commute. I grow vegetables on my balcony. I believe in universal access to health care, and education. I believe in having a social safety net. But I also believe that once you give everyone the same opportunity for success, that's it. People deserve the same opportunities, they don't deserve the same outcomes. Your life is what you make of it. My life is what I made of it too.

 

I don't know what brought this on... Certainly not a specific thread recently... I guess I'm just feeling like I like it a lot better over here on the blog side where the community is a lot smaller, and we're all following each other's lives in a personal way. Over here, I don't feel reduced to a cartoon yuppie. I don't feel like a freak for my "egg brain" :twisted: I don't feel like I'm making anyone else feel bad about themselves over here, either. Grr.

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I can certainly appreciate what you're saying about the forum. There's certain threads that I visit, and often if I see a certain person has posted on a thread, I'll pop in to see what they're saying, because normally I enjoy their posts. And regarding the money thing -- I've kind of noticed a yin and a yang. People either complain about being broke and feeling guilty for spending money, or they brag that they can spend hundreds of dollars per month on BPAL.

 

One thing I've noticed is that there are people who are really good at crafting a forum persona and gadding about a lot of threads. I became friends with a woman from a different forum who has that forum persona chit-chat patter down to a fine art. She is a riot in a forum, but if you get to know her, she's really not that funny or especially glib. To know her wise-cracking self on a forum is completely different from knowing her through more extended conversations, such as emails or blog entries or phone conversations.

 

So maybe (maybe? probably!) I'm biased, but I think that blogs tend to bring out more in-depth conversations and more authentic communication over time. They have more continuity. People do get to know you better, and you just can't sail in a wise-crack and play roles as easily as you can in forum threads. Not that I'm saying everyone does that on the forum, but it is more frequent.

 

I call this the "blog island" on the forum, because I really think it's a bit of a small enclave unto itself, and I rather like it that way.

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I prefer reading everyone's blogs to little posts too. I would start to post too-long responses in a thread, then get dismayed that I'm boring everyone else to tears and would delete it :boogie: So I much prefer to ramble on in my blog; if people think it's entertaining, great! If not, who cares? It's entertaining to me.

 

That was a bit off-topic -- I do agree with you about the forums too. I don't think it's age necessarily, but there is a level of maturity that comes from people who are out of school and have been working in the "real world" for a while. I'm not claiming to be mature :shhh: but there's a certain entitlement mentality of some who are still in school, like that's their "job" and they deserve a certain lifestyle on top of going to school or living at home.

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Giant Egg Brains! :boogie:

 

OK, not really a drive by post, but I tried. :shhh:

 

I see where you're coming from. Even though I think the average age on the forum is still higher than that of other forums, the average mental age based on the little notes we fire off at eachother might be closer to the norm. I know I'm especially prone to "dude!"s and ranty, bitchy tantrums every once in a while... whereas on my blog those tantrums stretch out to essays on Man's Inhumanity to Man. Well at least it does in my perfectly worded, immaculately spelled blog in my head. Heh.

 

Lately I've been feeling sort of old and sluggish for not keeping up. I've been with the forum since right before the switch to bpal.org (joylandpark?) but am a triple-digit-member. Second generation? I'm like the woeful middle child.

 

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

 

(PS I like that term of Valentina's: Blog Island. This really does feel like that. Sort of a quiet cafe to sit and chat while the rest of the forum buzzes on the sidewalks and streets.)

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It's not even the perpetual arguments about how much people spend on bpal (though those annoy me too - who the hell cares?)

 

I know I said there wasn't a single thing... but that thread in the books forum about the girl who plagerized, how it seemed to degenerate into some kind of bitchfest about how every kid at a private university was a spoiled brat who bought their way in just really left a rotten, nasty taste in my mouth. (Especially in light of that assenine argument I had a few months ago with Bluestar about why mentally retarded people, while valuable members of the human race, were, by definition, not capable of getting a PhD.)

 

I don't know, there just seems to be an ongoing undercurrent of class-based bitterness... Though it may well be just a handfull of bitter people, but sometimes that's all it takes.

 

I call this the "blog island" on the forum, because I really think it's a bit of a small enclave unto itself, and I rather like it that way.

 

I also like this description. I have always prefered, in my real life, to have fewer better friends instead of a lot of aquaintances. And the atmosphere over here is a lot more like the social interaction I'm used to. I like it.

 

And, of course, it helps that you guys are actually interesting! :boogie:

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I hear you. I have been on the forum a long time too. Probably since the first day it opened. I was under another user name at the time though and the email I used for the account was compromised. That has nothing to do with anything though.

 

You're right, it has changed and not really the kind of changes I like to see...but I've been in enough forums to see that just happens after a time. The people come and go and the essence of the place starts to reflect those changes. I mean I still post, but I too like it better on the blogs. I prefer the authenticity over this way.

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