So I think I've found a place to get my hair styled and cut. It's getting really long and icky so I'm excited to have it have some body again. I need it to be about 2.5 inches shorter and I think I want it to kinda look like this. Yes, I realize that's the girl from Final Fantasy and no, I've never played it before. The boy thinks this is hilarious because he is an avid gamer and has been telling me all along that Advent Children is a pretty movie and I'll like it. Yay, hair whoo!

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An old friend friended me on Facebook.com the other day. I am waaay too tired to be a Facebook elitist, so now I just re-friend anyone who asks including this guy. Anyways, I would normally think that the reason this person added me was to have his friend's list be 256,934 long or whatever the number is to beat these days. But, he also left me a message which was really nice. It was something along the lines of "we haven't talked in a while and I was just talking to so and so and I was reminded of you. What are you up to these days, etc."

The thing is, I'm not sure what to think. Our friendship did not end well. He was being what I thought (and still think) very clingy("where are you?? what are you doing?? who are you with? are you avoiding me??!") and we argued and I literally said to him to Fuck Off. Yeah, I know that wasn't very nice. But I am thinking of responding to his message, just so I can handle things more, uh, maturely this time. I'm not even sorry our friendship ended all that much. He didn't like any of my other friends so I was avoiding them to hang out with him. It was for the best, really. We spent all of our time together and I didn't like the person I was (and was becoming) when I was around him. I'm just ashamed of how it ended.

I guess I have habit of burning bridges with friends. Another friend I just froze out after my sophomore year of college. And this person, we'll call her C, I've been friends with since middle school. I ended this friendship because honestly, I was getting really jealous of her and as a result I was getting depressed that I wasn't as pretty, beautiful, glamorous, wealthy, smart as she was. I got tired of being "the friend" at clubs. You know, the friend guys always target so they can get they prettier friends number out of you? I was tired of working my ass off just to get by in college while she was off jetsetting around Europe because she had a trust fund that her parents set up for her. I was jealous of how pretty she was with no effort at all while I struggled to keep my weight down. I still have all those issues actually, and thinking about them now still makes me sad. It was so hard to catch up with her during summer (she went to school in Europe) and have her go on and on about what she did that year when the only I did was work and study and try to keep afloat.

I do think it was selfish of me to end that friendship the way I did. She was never anything but nice to me, but I couldn't handle my own crap and the jealousy that I felt. I'm actually thinking of contacting her again, apologizing for the way things went down and trying to be chatty again at least. I have a 5-year High School Reunion coming up this fall and I don't want to have to avoid someone because I can't handle my shit, ya know? Thing is, I don't even know if confident enough in myself to be "second fiddle" (at least in my mind) again.

Anyways, my question to anyone who might be reading this long-ass post is have you ever had a situation where you just had to let a friendship go? What did you about it, if anything. Also, what do you think I should do. I guess I'm looking for advice 'cause you know, guilt agghh!

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Geez, this was not the lighthearted entry I meant it to be. Here, I'll lighten things up a little:

A man is sitting in bar when a guy with a giant, orange head comes in and sits right by him. He asks, "Hey man, what happened?"

"Oh this? Well, I found this lamp and then I rubbed it. A genie came out and said I had three wishes. I asked for hot wife which is how I met her-" and he takes a photo of beautiful model out of his wallet. "And for my second wish I asked to be rich-" he then pulls out a $100 bill to pay for his drink."And for my last wish, and here is where I think I went really, horribly wrong..I asked for a giant, orange head."