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Weird sayings and The Prophet Raoul

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valentina

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There's a guy I know here at work who tends to use what I consider rather quaint and old-fashioned terms to express outrage, like "What in the Sam Hill?" and "Son of a buck!" I never hear anyone else use those terms, unless I would happened to head down to a senior center. Apparently "Sam Hill" somehow got started as a way to avoid saying "hell," but whenever I hear that term, I always picture the cartoon character Yosemite Sam.

 

I also used to know a guy from work who would say: "Well cheese and crackers!" when he was trying to not swear, which was on very rare occasions. I have never heard anyone else use that term in my life. I always found it really hilarious, because it was so odd and because this guy would normally use f**k like most people say "uh."

 

Then there was the guy who was seemingly the basis for Ignatius J. Reilly in the book "A Confederacy of Dunces." Seriously, he was a big, fat, extremely high-IQ person who lived in his own little la-la land most of the time. He made his living as a software tech support specialist. He used to go sit outside the building that he worked in and chain-smoke and hold court of the topic of the day. The bench that he sat on was made of some sort of industrial-strength recycled plastic and he warped the bench because he was probably 6'4" and around 400 pounds. His name was Jerry, but somehow I came to call him The Prophet Raoul, a term that amused him greatly. Two of his favorite terms were: "Well Christ on a bicycle!" and "I don't give a flying f**k at a rolling donut." The last comment always produced visions of this gargantuan man throwing himself at a huge rolling donut, trying to leap through the hole the way dogs jump through hoops.

 

Anyway, The Prophet Raoul shuffled off this mortal coil (another one of his favorite sayings, courtesy of Will Shakespeare) a few years ago. Anyone who has read "A Confederacy of Dunces" would probably agree that Ignatius was not a role model for health and long life. The Prophet was a huge football fan and he died laying around in bed while watching the Super Bowl on the day of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. It is my hope that he said to himself: "I've just seen a tit during Super Bowl halftime, I can die a happy man," and did just that.

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I always just say "fudge!" just like Ralphie. Except well, as we all know, he didn't exactly say "fudge".

 

You know, I tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces. But.

It really just depressed the fudge out of me.

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Christ in a Sidecar

Sweet, Honey Lemon Jebus

Great Googly Moogly

... and the all-purpose, Yosemity Sam-inspired sub-vocal muttering of "rassafracka rassafracka" when things just aren't going well at all.

 

What an amazing portrait of The Prophet Raoul. I can almost see the skittish, slightly confused pigeons scattered around him, heads cocked questioningly.

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One thing that I forgot to add about The Prophet Raoul is the experience of watching him get in and out of cars. Once a friend of mine saw him emerge from a compact car and looked like a dinosaur hatching from its egg. Another time this same friend offered to give Raoul a ride (because he was chronically without a car and always sponged rides off of people) in his Triumph Spitfire convertible. Two other friends and I went out and hid around a corner to watch him get in the Spitfire, which fortunately had the top down. You could almost hear the shocks groan, and because he was a massive person, he did not properly fit down into the seat and his head was up above the windshield. The Spitfire pulled away veerrryyy slowly.

 

I should just write a book about The Prophet Raoul. It wouldn't be as depressing as "Confederacy, which is most truly a love-it-or-hate-it book.

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I'll say "Cheese on Rice!" or "Son of a Biscuit!" or "Dagnabbit!" I'm an old person in training. "Phooey!" is "fudge"-like too, I say that one a lot.

 

I should mix in "rassafracka" because it's hilarious. :ack:

 

My boss says "son of a sea cook" which is so out of left field.

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I'll say "Cheese on Rice!" or "Son of a Biscuit!" or "Dagnabbit!" I'm an old person in training. "Phooey!" is "fudge"-like too, I say that one a lot.

 

I should mix in "rassafracka" because it's hilarious. :D

 

My boss says "son of a sea cook" which is so out of left field.

 

:D

 

When I was a little kid, I thought "dagnabbit" was "dang rabbit." "Rassafracka" is especially good when you say: "Rassafracka, fracka, fracka, fracka..."

 

Once a friend's daughter, when she was about 10 or so, had heard him frequently say that he had to "pee like a racehorse," and she thought the term could be applied to any sort of an animal with a specialized skill. So one day she annouced to us: "I have to pee like a hunting dog." :lol:

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