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Extreme (Blog) Makeover

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darkitysnark

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The Snarks are homeowners!

 

sold.jpg

Snarky = ecstatic, The Mister = Already Thinking...

 

To commemorate this life-changing event, Snarky is tweaking her blog a bit to include documentation of the ongoing process of turning This Old House into their Home.

 

Snarky is still planning to keep with the third person format. She will most likely still throw in random fits of writerly aspiration. But the focus has shifted enough to warrant a re-chistening of this blog.

 

The Snarks are really, truly happy to have gotten through this first major hurdle toward housedom. Unfortunately, their new status started out with a Snakes on a Plane shakedown in the form of a break-in to their new house.

 

Apparently some bored, only mildly motivated hoodlums noticed the "SOLD" sign in front of the house and the fact that the previous owners had recently vacated. They took advantage of the occupancy lull and crowbarred their way into the empty house. After unsuccessfully attempting to wrench the sink disposal out of the kitchen, it appears they left empty handed. They even left the crowbar behind.

 

The Snarks are feeling a bit shaken by this. They've had car break ins in the past, but their home? Never. After talking with the neighbors, they feel a bit better. They're a (usually) watchful, mindful bunch.

 

Besides the obvious changes to the game plan (having the sellers purchase a new side door, installing anti-theft systems) they are now thinking that a Whole Hog style move in (rather than a piece-meal, dribs and drabs approach) would make them feel more secure about their few possessions.

 

What a way to get started! Nevertheless, The Snarks are determined to make crudites out of cruddy human nature and plan to gather fluff and twigs so that they can fuss and fidget until their nest feels Just Right.

 

The tenative plan for this weekend is to possibly purchase a nearly-new commercial grade elliptical machine for their gym/entertainment area in the basement. Though this fine piece of machinery is an amazing find on the Craigslist Portland site, it still is pricey enough to cause Snarky to reconsider her gym membership. If they can also find a decent set of free weights for cheap, she will hang up her wee courtesy towel for good and Sweat to the Oldies (or the Emos, or whatever else The Mister has going) at Home.

 

Snarky is also thinking about taking on the somewhat daunting task of refinishing the hardwood floor in the upstairs master bedroom suite. This might be as little as scruffing up the finish with steel wool and adding two coats of poly... or as much as renting a belt sander, floor buffer, and edger and spending two days stripping, scruffing, and recoating.

 

Either way, she thinks it will greatly improve the feel of the room and it will also be much less than the bamboo overhaul The Mister has been craving.

 

And with that bit of good/bad/good, this sleepy new homeowner is going to collapse into bed.

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If the darkity ever runs a belt sander on the hardwood, I want photos. I have visions of you in a Devo-style getup to provide yourself with a little humor as well as functional physical protection.

 

The unfortunate break-in only proves true the theory that an unoccupied house is a blinking neon "take me" sign to hoodlums. (It may be, in fact, to some a brighter "take me" signal than letting your lacy bra straps and the top of your thong show.) I'm sure they saw the "sold" sign and knew that realtors wouldn't be showing up whenever necessary, and considered it safe game. I'm glad you're getting the sellers to install an anti-theft system. And once the Snarks settle in and give clear signs of residency, the hooligans will vamoose to another easy target.

 

But most importantly, just how cute are you and the Mister Snark? I loved that picture! The gleeful proprietress ("Whee! A lotion and potion room!") and the brooding proprietor ("What homeowner/man o' the house project do I start first...")of Chez Snark!

 

Congratulations! :P

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Congratulations, I am seriously happy for you guys!

 

And I agree with Valentina, that is a hilariously adorable picture of you two!

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The Snarks thank y'all for your enthusiasm! They are going through lightning quick shifts between excited, exasperated, exhausted, and enthusiastic all at once.

 

Today's project? Paint six rooms (granted, some of them are just tester walls). For all her gothy proclivities, Darkity has consented to some very saturated, very brilliant shades. Film at 11.

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