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Good/Bad/Good Sammiches

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darkitysnark

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Snarky's rule of thumb for writing is the good/bad/good sandwich rule she learned to apply to constructive criticism. Start with something good (ex: "Your lettering on this proposed architectural plan is immaculate and evocative of long past youthful, carefree summers.. "), slide in a critique of what you found lacking (ex: ".. unfortunately your design not only is not to code, but evidences a blantant disregard to ADA regulations and to the human body in all its forms and functions, plus it sucks... and is made of poo ... "), and always close with another positive comment to lessen the sting and leave a better taste in everyone's mouth (ex: "... again, those are really pretty 'g's!"). It's an old crutch of hers, but it's served her well and has allowed her to limp far in the world of BPAL oil reviews, friends' fashion choice advising, The Mister's culinary side-step evaluations, and also blog entries.

 

Unfortunately Snarky didn't make a good sandwich in her last entry, which was nothing but ageist, whiny pantied, somewhat gross yuckiness. For this, she apologizes.

 

Snarky knows that every person is allowed to feel like total and utter crap, that sometimes indulging in a Bad Mood can help to purge oneself of built up gunk. But laying it all bare and out there with no relief or sign of redemption was irresponsible of her.

 

That is what LiveJournal is for. :P

 

So here's Snarky's after-dinner-mint to ease any indigestion from the last bad-bad-not funny enough sandwich of the last post:

 

990519-tmol.jpg

 

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

-Lyrics by Eric Idle, from "Life of Brian"

Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Other things just make you swear and curse.

When you're chewing on life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best...

 

And...always look on the bright side of life...

Always look on the light side of life...

 

If life seems jolly rotten

There's something you've forgotten

And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

When you're feeling in the dumps

Don't be silly chumps

Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

 

And...always look on the bright side of life...

Always look on the light side of life...

 

For life is quite absurd

And death's the final word

You must always face the curtain with a bow.

Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin

Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

 

So always look on the bright side of death

Just before you draw your terminal breath

 

Life's a piece of shit

When you look at it

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.

You'll see it's all a show

Keep 'em laughing as you go

Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

 

And always look on the bright side of life...

Always look on the right side of life...

(Come on guys, cheer up!)

Always look on the bright side of life...

Always look on the bright side of life...

(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)

Always look on the bright side of life...

(I mean - what have you got to lose?)

(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.

What have you lost? Nothing!)

Always look on the right side of life...

 

(And yes, I know, I'm referencing two different Monty Python movies. The song fit the theme better, and I can't pass up a good "wafer thin" joke pretty much ever. So there you have it. It's worse than mixed metaphors!) (Of which I am unnaturally fond of as well.)

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darkity, the thin mint scene! How it has been burned into my memory. If I live to be a really old, old woman, I will probably sit addled in a nursing home unable to do anything but repeat lines from that scene.

 

It's a favorite subreference, especially at my office... they are so tired of my thin mint scene quotes. There's a really, really large man who's a lobbyist that comes to talk to me every now and then. Whenever he leaves, I always walk out and say to the secretaries: "Waiter, bring me a bucket!"

 

And do you recall in that scene, when the elegantly-dressed woman who is dripping with vomit, is asked if there was any problem with dinner as she and her companion leave the restaurant? And she says, "Oh, no, my period is excessively heavy this month..." The women in my office are so sick of hearing me repeat that line. (With the British accent, of course.)

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"Blessed are the Cheesemakers."

 

I enjoyed your post yesterday, but I also enjoy sammiches.

 

:( Snarky enjoys the occasional gross-out too. She just felt she was a little short on the redeeming factor with yesterday's post. Depressing staring-into-the-void is so her-rogue-poet-days-in-high-school. :( Also, yes, sammiches are good. Almost as good as soup. But soup and sammiches? Perfection!

 

"Oh, no, my period is excessively heavy this month..."

 

:P Darkity had forgotten that part... but now it's back full force, in technicolor smell-o-vision. Such a wonderful bit of oneupsmanship line-wise. Wonder who thought of that throw-away bit.

 

Darkity still has fantasies of rogue accountants storming the office all swash-buckly and manic some days.

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