Yesterday I tried to call the sister a hundred times - well, make it 15 and you have the truth.

It seemed that nobody was at home.

Or can they see my number and they decided just not to answer? I guess that's paranoid from me.

Anyway - I didn't catch her. And with every try I was a bit more indifferent. My heart was still going faster when picking up the phone and dialing their number, but somehow I relaxed more and more.

I did talk at least a little bit to Olli - no fight, no anger - but comprehension. And deep inside of me I know that this would of course be the way in which he'd react. I even told him that I feel like they are coming to our place and forget about their children and behave like "Well, does it really matter what they do?" - and he agreed. That was nice.

The urge to get over with it fast is disappearing slowly. I don't have the speech in my head all the time - perhaps because I did write it down.

I hope I stay in this mood!