... a strange day. I don't feel well. My head aches a little bit, my abdomen, too. Well, girl problems My knee aches a lot, no idea why. I am very tired and I want in my bed - now. That may be because yesterday was not that great. Well, in the beginning it was. Yesterday I had my 10 year driving license anniversary and I bought cake because of that. Well, okay, I only wanted cake. I told Olli that I want some and didn't tell that I was going to buy it myself. So he came home with red roses and a cake that you only must bake. It was so sweet of him and I was really happy. So we had lots of cake.

After that we started to clean again - on Saturday we have a party and there is still a lot to do till then. It was okay and it is nice that our house starts to look nice again. Anyway, at 21:00 we decided to stop for that day and to watch Star Trek DS9. I said something - I think in a normal voice - and he thought that I said it in a grumpy voice. Over that we started a fight. We had this one a lot of times. I really didn't mean it grumpy - but he thinks it sounds like that ... I can't hear any grumpiness so I don't know how to change and he can't convince himself, that it isn't meant grumpy. It took us 1 hour to talk normal to each other again. At this time we were already in bed. And then it took almost 1h till I was calmed down enough to sleep. So it was a short night and that's why I'm tired.

We thought our party would be bigger ... 30 people or something like that. Till now there are only 15. Well, makes it easier for me to cook.

I'm already hungry. Okay, that is nothing special. I'm always hungry.

Really strange: I want to clean the windows in our living room! We have a window-gable so it is a lot of work but I really look forward of doing it. Perhaps because everything will have color again after cleaning - right now there is a grey shadow above all.

My thoughts are drifting away all the time. It took me really long to write this entry. Guess it's simply not my best day, even if the start was nice and I talked to a woman working with me in this building. We are always the first to come here and sometimes we bump into each other and start to talk. I like her. She's a lot older than I am, and still we find lots to talk about. I still wait for another coworker to come - Mike. He is 54 I think and I really like him. And he likes me, I think. I often comes to me to talk about his relationship and asks things like "How long was there this 'fire' in your relationship?" or "At which point should we move together?". He really appreciates my opinion and I'm flattered by that because I'm so much younger than he is. I'd consider him a friend ... it will be hard when he leaves work - and I guess he will in the end of this year. After that it will be hard to keep in touch - he is living about 400km away from here and ... well I think it will end then. But I'll always keep him in my memories. He is a great person and I love it that he found a new love at the age of 53 And that he always encourages me ... in some things I am pretty childish - so when I need an objective, grownup opinion, I simply ask him.

Oh Mike, I hate it that things will change and you will go away. I guess if you'd hear that you'd smile and say "Well, that's the way it goes ..."