Ugh. I have to vent... sometimes people can really be quite rude...

Today my improvisation class played in the jury of one of the students who is graduating. It did not go well, but that really isn't my problem or anything, for some reason the person whose jury it was decided to take much of a soloistic role and the whole form of the improv fell apart- I couldn't even hear what he was doing at time b/c everyone was playing over him! Anyhow...we had to wait beforehand in the hallway, and everyone was just hanging out and talking. Somehow it comes up that the person whose jury it was has a gig playing in some venue and wants to turn it into a free improv concert. So of course he asks people in our class whom he's played with all year to play with him. Everyone except me, that is. Now, if you're going to invite people to play with you, and you are going to exclude someone, wouldn't it be nice to call these individual people and ask them rather than hurt the feelings of the person you don't want to ask??? I would think so! I just wanted to cry and run away. Seriously. I have never felt that snubbed since high school, or mayb middle school, I am not sure. BUT I have never been musically snubbed like that. The thing is, it wouldn't hurt so bad if I didn't think he was such a great bass player (today's jury aside) and liked working with him. We've played in other things together and blend together really well...I just can't believe it...

Maybe he thinks I don't understand French well enough to know what's going on...maybe he thinks I wouldn't understand what he wanted to ask me? I doubt it, since I have been in class for a year now and the class is in French. I dunno. I would think it's because he thinks I suck as a player, but I know that isn't true since I've done a lot of professional improv gigs in friggin' Los Angeles for crying out loud. I know I wouldn't get asked to do those if I actually sucked. (not to be egotistical, just, well, rational about the whole thing). I am just so hurt.

This is just one of many times that I have not gotten asked to do things here. There is a soundpainting orchestra (free improv with use of hand signals...it's fun...) here at school and I have a lot of experience with that. I made that known to people involved. Do they ask me to be in the group...nope. I just want to run away. I want to go back to LA where all of my friends are. Where good musicians are that are actually good people, too. I am so sick of this crap.

Ugh. Well at least I got that off my chest. I know I'm going to stick it out here, but man, it seems to get tougher every day. I feel now that I can only be nice for so long before I will eventually lose it and start yelling at someone. I really hope that doesn't happen!