Rollercoaster
So this weekend Jason brought his new girlfriend (the one he dumped me for, who by now I have no problem hating) over to the house we share. I was standing in my pajamas making coffee in the kitchen when they arrived, and ran & hid in my room for a little while - but his room is just the other side of my bathroom wall. So our other roommate, my best friend for ten years, took me out & we had a nice day at the park & seeing a movie (Music & Lyrics - it was cute, Hugh Grant is aging well).
Since then Jason & I have exchanged some e-mails. He thinks it's selfish of me not to consider how they have nowhere to go (they can't go to her place because her ex-fiance that she dumped for Jason lives there) & can't relax & watch movies together. And yet he wants to be friends, he says, because he thinks of me as his best friend & I was everything he wanted except for not enough sex. Which I did try to work on, & we were doing better, but he gave up on us so it doesn't matter. Nothing I did was good enough for him, and I'm better off without him. And apparently he's an ass who expects me to be just fine with him bringing over my replacement & making lattes for her like he used to for me, & doing everything we used to do, here.
Last night I was over at my friends place, and I felt all philosophical & accepting & thankful for all the wonderful blessings in my life & ready to move on. Then I got home this morning, and they were here, & I hid downstairs & fell apart & wanted to die. And he's not even worth it!
I may end up camping out on friends' couches until the end of June (lease ends) after all. I'll just have to figure out transportation & try to make it up to them for being such a burden.
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