A few years ago I made myself really sick one day by indulging in donuts, Cokes, & chips at a work event. I thought I'd learned my lesson & had been avoiding big confluences of sugary foods. But Friday was the last day of work at our store (we closed a week ago, and spent this last week packing things up to return), and for lunch we had pizza & Cokes & birthday cake for two people who turned 21 that day. Since it was so dusty when we were pulling apart the registers & packing them away, I had two full-sugar Cokes after we ran out of diet. Then that evening when I was out having a birthday dinner with one of the coworkers, I had a strawberry margarita, & blam! The sugar & the alcohol brought on a major hypoglycemic attack - I fought off sleep & nausea until I was able to get home, where I spent the rest of the night alternating between passed out & feverishly cold, & throwing up everything I ever ate. That was two days ago, and still no food looks good. Fruit might be okay ... I should go buy an apple tomorrow.

The store closing has also contributed to general crappiness. I cleaned out six and a half years of debris from my locker (more tea than could be believed). Wherever the lockers go after the fixtures are auctioned off, they will have a BPAL Trading Post sticker attached ...

But in general, I am backsliding. I was doing fairly well with the breaking-up thing, but being in the same house is just too much. How can he be so happy with someone else already? He was so easy to talk to, and I miss that, even though he was often mean. He was also my experiment in being open & trusting, which comes hard to me. I can't imagine trusting anyone ever again.

Maybe tomorrow I will be able to eat again, & things will seem better.