The other shoe.
All week I felt surprisingly okay, for living in the same house as my now-ex-boyfriend. My friends took me over to their place several nights to hang out & watch TV, & I talked to our other roommate, who was my best friend for ten years - this last year has put a strain on our friendship & we've been on & off talking to each other. We hadn't talked since before Christmas, & it was nice to speak with her again, even if it was for just a little while. I've even talked to Jason a couple of times & we had friendly ten-minute talks about stuff we were doing, reading, etc.
Then yesterday I went to a birthday party for an old college friend. We played games, ate pizza, watched episodes of House - fun was had. His wife was driving me home (since I have no car) at 2:30 am and as we pulled up in front of the house, we could see through the living room window that Jason was in there with the girl he said he had feelings for the night we broke up. He said today that they were just talking because the coffee shop closed, but I don't care. It's been five days - Five Days! - since our two and a half year relationship ended. I'm fine with him bringing other friends over, but not her. They can just have coffee at IHOP - not my home. He keeps saying he wants to be friends, but friends have more regard for each other's feelings than that ... But seriously. Five days!
I ended up spending the night at my college friends house, then having lunch with them & going shopping, which was a nice distraction. But after I got home & talked to Jason & asked him not to bring her here again, I went in my room & cried a lot. Which really sucks on the one hand, but on the other, at least I can stop wondering when the numbness will wear off or if there's something wrong with me because I don't feel intense emotions ... The other shoe has dropped, & I do. Thank goodness for friends - they've been a lifesaver this week.
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