This is a yoooou-ge (as Donald Trump would say) forum;people probably DO get lost in the mix, but I don't think it is intentional, I wouldn't take it personally. And sure, I imagine certain people get more attention - they are probably either the more frequent or more vociferous posters (squeaky wheels get more grease and all)...

But also, if you're like me you sort of view the "How are you feeling?" thread as just that. A place to talk about that specific moment in time, a "there - got it out, done with that" type of thing. I don't really expect people to respond, because I don't use it as a "support" thread...although don't get me wrong, that's a nice idea and all. IF I respond to someone there - which I usually don't - it's because I am going through something similar and maybe have something to contribute. I feel like if I haven't gotten anything useful to say - just zip it. I always READ what's there, I just don't always respond. Plus, I am sort of shy (even on the internets!)...so even if it is something I can relate to, I might not say anything because maybe I've never contacted that person before, they don't know me from a hole in the wall, and I hate that maybe they would think "JUST WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS??"

So, just my .02 . Doesn't mean everyone has the same reasons as me - but hey...someone might

PS

That is why I prefer the Blog Island out here - I've started talking to some ladies I might never have otherwise...it's a smaller community, easier to get to know people. Although...it does seem to be getting bigger - just even in the past week or so!

I'm very, very bad about the "How are you feeling" thread. I don't read it every day -- I think I average about three days of reading it per week. Granted, I post there even more infrequently than that (mainly when I think how I'm feeling is interesting or can be made somehow interest), but I think that maybe my replies can feel inadequate or seem to play favorites...even though that's very much not my intention. Mainly I respond when something resonates with me because I've felt similarly, or when I think I have something constructive to say. I rarely just give there. I probably should. After all, I know I like receiving the hugs and comments. It would probably also help me make more friends here, which while not a huge goal for me would certainly be nice and quite welcome in my fairly isolated existence.

All that said, I am here, I do read your blog and I'll start to comment more. I know that when I went through my roughest patch of depression (I've never been medicated or diagnosed, but in retrospect it really was a minor break-down) the fact that others reached out to me made a huge difference. I ignored most of them, but I appreciated all of them.

I'm here and I'm rooting for you.

Ever since starting my new job, I've gone into serious lurker mode on the various threads. I'm starting to post again, but it's so sporadic that I can't keep up with what's going on. (for example: since when do people give eachother shout outs on the confessional booth thread? It's nice and all, but I always imagined it in my head as well... a row of confessional booths. So it's kinda funny to see all these hands sticking out of the doors wavin' at eachother. )

I used to throw out :hug:s on "how are you feeling?" like they were candy but have been treating the thread more as a drive-by-posting place lately.

inkdarkmoon is right, squeaky wheels really do get all the smilies.

Having said all that, what you're feeling might be partly hormonal and party due to depression, but as an INFP, a lot of it has to do with you. I'm not saying this to be mean, it just is what it is. I'm married to one, and he and I have both had to learn how to coax him out of his navel-gazey cave so that I can share whatever burden is weighing him down. (While I, on the other hand, have had to learn to stop being so damn squeaky! He used to tune me out because he'd become inurred to all the whining. I'm much more aware/succinct about when I really need help now.)

As a shy silent type, I can understand your dilemma. Some people jump right in and are adored from the first; but I've been here a few months and feel like I'm shouting into the void wherever I post. When I do get a response to something, I'm shocked! Shocked, I say! And, yes, I've noticed the cliques, too. The bigger the forum gets, the more cliques there will be. That seems to be the way the world works, so I'm quite used to it by now. Some of us are outsiders no matter what we do, it seems. Welcome to the club! (semi-joking)

(I almost didn't post this because I figured "ah, nobody wants to hear this drivel. Besides, it's off topic and people are going to just read it and roll their eyes )

Thank you, all three of you. At least I know that people read my blog... I'd given serious thought to just scrapping it all.

I probably am being too sensitive, but... well, I'm stressed. Like whoa. And while there's no fault there, it still doesn't give me the right to be snappish. Still, at least I kept it confined to here instead of saying something snarky on the board!

Darkitysnark, I get what you're saying, and you're right. Some of it is that I just record what I'm feeling, not why. And it is difficult to get myself to post long diatribes about things when I'm feeling like gum on the bottom of someone's snowboot.

inkdarkmoon, my husband said the same thing: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." And I understand what you're saying, too, about being shy and not wanting to intrude. I am getting to like the blog area... you really get to know people better here!

kakiphony, thank you. It does help to know that people read and are rooting for me.

Ironically, I'm not only an INFP, I'm also a Two on the Enneagram test, AND a double-Leo. So I've got this HUGE need for recognition, and I don't deal with stress well. It'll probably be a relief to know that I'm looking into therapy, so hopefully things like this will occur with less frequency.

As a shy silent type, I can understand your dilemma. Some people jump right in and are adored from the first; but I've been here a few months and feel like I'm shouting into the void wherever I post. When I do get a response to something, I'm shocked! Shocked, I say! And, yes, I've noticed the cliques, too. The bigger the forum gets, the more cliques there will be. That seems to be the way the world works, so I'm quite used to it by now. Some of us are outsiders no matter what we do, it seems. Welcome to the club! (semi-joking)

 

(I almost didn't post this because I figured "ah, nobody wants to hear this drivel. Besides, it's off topic and people are going to just read it and roll their eyes )

 

Ack, you jumped in while I was posting!

Yeah, shouting into the void is a very good description. Occasionally I get back echoes, but rarely. I don't know why I feel like that's something that SHOULD happen, that people should respond, other than the fact that everyone always says the forums are so supportive. Apparently they neglect to add the all important caveat, "as long as you're one of the in crowd".

Yep, outsiders no matter what is apt, too. So maybe we should create our own clique!

I do appreciate all responses... it's nice to know that even if I am shouting into the void, there are other people who hear anyway, even if I don't see them. Maybe y'all are hanging off the same cliff I am! (I have a very clear mental image here of us all hanging from climbing ropes near a huge canyon... we can hear each other, but the others can't see us until we speak up.)

I am fairly shy too. I always read but often don't know what to say or figure it won't matter to someone if I say something because they don't "know" me. It's a problem I carry into real life too, assuming others won't care about me because they have no reason too. I find I'm often surprised when others are nice to me or notice me, because most of the time, I feel like I'm invisible. I don't really like showboating for attention, either. I'm easily embarressed. Even on the internets. Or maybe especially on the internets. But I do read and care even if I don't throw myself into the fray sometimes.

I am fairly shy too. I always read but often don't know what to say or figure it won't matter to someone if I say something because they don't "know" me. It's a problem I carry into real life too, assuming others won't care about me because they have no reason too. I find I'm often surprised when others are nice to me or notice me, because most of the time, I feel like I'm invisible. I don't really like showboating for attention, either. I'm easily embarressed. Even on the internets. Or maybe especially on the internets. But I do read and care even if I don't throw myself into the fray sometimes.

Thank you. That helps.

(Another semi-rough evening, so I'd say more but... I can't.)

Late to the party, but...

For someone who supposedly has my facility with words, and supposedly knows the right thing to say, sometimes I just ...don't. I find myself without words, and reverting back to behavior of almost 20 years ago, when I was considered to be an honorary ghost of the coffeehouse where my friends and I hung out -- people didn't see much of me, because I was hiding behind one of three tall guys. I was the disembodied voice that came from behind one of the Dans, asking for a refill and more cream.

And I'm kind of in that position at the moment. I don't know what to say. But I get it, even if my tang is getting tungled on expressing it. (1/2 smile)

Late to the party, but...

 

For someone who supposedly has my facility with words, and supposedly knows the right thing to say, sometimes I just ...don't. I find myself without words, and reverting back to behavior of almost 20 years ago, when I was considered to be an honorary ghost of the coffeehouse where my friends and I hung out -- people didn't see much of me, because I was hiding behind one of three tall guys. I was the disembodied voice that came from behind one of the Dans, asking for a refill and more cream.

 

And I'm kind of in that position at the moment. I don't know what to say. But I get it, even if my tang is getting tungled on expressing it. (1/2 smile)

*nods* I just get frustrated, and if I don't express it, things go downhill really quickly. But I appreciate that you get it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.