I am having a very strong reaction to any oil's scent. I tried out R.M. Renfield today and found that it doesn't work with me at all. This in itself is nothing surprising at least 2/3 of scents (if not more) don't work for me. However my reaction to this oil and it's very faint lingering smell are almost staggering. I feel physically ill! I've never had such a reaction before and I can only atest it to either the drugs I'm taking or my major surgery earlier in the month.

Either way, I want this bizarre overreaction on my part of my body to stop immediately. BPAL is one of the few things I can still enjoy with my current disability and I refuse to give up more things that I love.

There are times when I feel like my life is gone, never to be returned. The idea of finishing up my work for last semester or actually taking classes in the spring just seems so... unreal. I can't help but feel that my helplessness is permanent. Sometimes, I feel like I'm losing my mind, trapped within these walls and with this fragile body...