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BPAL Madness!
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What Not To Wear

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valentina

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I am especially fond of running across people in relatively odd get-ups. Outfits that are vaguely off rarely mean much to me; instead, I'm talking things that don't even fit in the fashion faux pas category because you don't know where to begin. Things that are almost mind-bendingly odd, because they are being worn by a person who is obviously not mentally ill. There is a very distinct difference between mixed-up clothing thrown on by some poor soul who has a lot of personal difficulties and by an otherwise functioning individual whose innate style compass has become seriously skewed.

 

It's one of those weird autumn days when you just don't know what to wear; it's sunny, but only about 62 degrees and it's windy. Days like today are always a good opportunity to find some weird clothing combos going on, and I saw one when I was walking back into the building after lunch. This woman was evidently out on a late-lunch stroll for a bit of exercise. She had on a long, almost ankle-length skirt that had a design on it that was a cross between a batik print and a tropical print. The background was black and the design was a bright blue. I like black and bright blue together, and it was a nice skirt. But on the top, she had on a casual, sporty, waist-length, zip-up, water-repellent material windbreaker. Some sort of Nike design/lettering on it; the colors were white with baby blue. She had short hair and she was wearing a blue and white visor. On her feet she had blue and white flip-flops. The pretty skirt drew me in and then the picture became oddly distorted.

 

But my favorite weird combination is one I saw about 4 or 5 years ago; it was again about this time of year, but it was a cool and rainy day. I was walking downtown on my lunch hour and looked across the street as I waited at a light. There was a woman in a sort of Laura Ashley-style skirt, long, fluttery, a cream-colored background with a tiny rosy flower print. Suntan-colored hosiery. (Arghblargh! Maybe that's what Andy Garcia caught sight of at the end of "Ocean's Eleven?") Cream-colored, 1980's style pumps that were looking a smidge rugged. But on top of all of this, she wore a black NASCAR pit crew jacket. And the jacket was boldly emblazoned with the team sponsor logos, most prominently, Tide detergent soap. I think there was at least one beer logo, and maybe Slim Jims jerky snacks. I know all of this in detail, because the woman had her head down as she walked into the wind and misty rain, so she didn't see me when I stared at her as I walked by, and then when I turned around and walked backwards to check out the back of the jacket. I mean, wow. It's my favorite of all time. If she'd had on black leather pants and biker boots, the jacket would have been fine. If she'd had on a huge Irish sweater, I would have forgiven the '80's pumps. (Suntan colored hosiery is something that I never forgive. White legs are a far, far better thing, and actually make sense with a Laura Ashley theme.) The combination was, and still remains, unprecedented.

 

So, the guy at Meadowlark who always tells me he loves me, the one who said his name means "Wandering Gypsy" in Czech and calls me "gypsy girl?" He just put out an album. I am serious; it's a small local recording company. They're selling his CD at Meadowlark and he saw me this morning and cajoled me into buying one. Here is something from his liner notes: "A special thanks to all the girls I have known, starting with my Mother, for giving me such great material for my songs. And to all the guys, remember that you need more than a good line and a lure to get the girl of your dreams. I love you all." :eek: And amazingly, his CD isn't bad at all. So if you've read this far and you're the first reader to respond, I'll send you his CD. Not my copy, I'll buy another one! There may be a lot of you thinking, oh my hell, I am so NOT responding until someone else reads halfway through the blog and decides to respond about bad clothing combinations! So really, if you don't want his CD, just say so, because I do want to hear about bad clothing combos that you have seen in your life and time. I love you all. ;)

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I love new music valentina, and I love gypsies...and I wear bad clothing combos all the time. Corduroy skirts and knee high socks and crocs!

No Nascar jackets though, having been a former Daytona girl, NASCAR makes me violently ill at the mere mention of it. Nothing like hordes of sweaty, mustashioed, mullety, beer-guzzling rednecks to turn you off a sport. Not that you can call driving cars in circles sports...

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Here in Wisconsin that's pretty much how everyone who is not a student or a hippie dresses. Forget suntan hose, what I really want to know is why anyone who is not a nurse, a bride or making her first communion would ever wear white pantyhose.

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Forget suntan hose, what I really want to know is why anyone who is not a nurse, a bride or making her first communion would ever wear white pantyhose.

 

I think that question could be a modern-day Zen koan!

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One of my favorite weird clothing combos was seen several years ago during the winter in Boston....on the T(the subway) a woman wearing a wool skirt,sweater,fur coat, and sandals-??????????

 

another combo many years ago spotted in the LAkes district in England-was camping with friends,and about to start climbing on a trail up the mountains-I believe we were attired in standard outdoor gear including rain gear, and a woman I spotted trying to get up a hill was wearing tight capri pants and spike heels:) (but no nike jacket or visor)

 

BTW- I have found my perfect little black dress(YAY) almost painlessly (hate shopping for dresses, and as a reward bought myself a pair of socks I wanted

(www.socklady.com) perhaps I can wear these and have someone else comment!

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I love perfect little black dresses! Long or short? Sleeveless or sleeves? And now I must look at the socklady site, because while I like socks, my friend Ron loves socks even more. He is known to wear rather sassy socks with an otherwise very normal outfit.

 

I am rather happy because today I found a pair of $79 dollar pants on sale, and purchased them for $13. I also found a Kenneth Cole tank top with a bit of a glitter in it (very low-key) that will work beautifully under suits when I pretend to be a grown-up in the winter. I think it was a $50 top and I got it for about $8. Love, love, love those sales!

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