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BPAL Madness!
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I messed up. Big Time.

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antimony

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Oh my god, I dropped the ball. I undid a ton of really hard work with a little oversight. Something no one in their right mind should have done.

 

So you know those exams I talk about periodically? And you know how I've been studying for this one, and my company sent me to Chicago for a week to prepare, and bought me hundreds of dollars of books? I forgot to register.

 

It would have taken me 10 minutes, and I forgot to do it.

 

My boss has been fairly supportive. That is, once he finished laughing at me. I know he didn't mean to be mean. I can certainly see the humor in it. And they're not making me pay back the money or anything, unless I quit my job before next fall, which I doubt I'll do.

 

I feel like an idiot, a bonehead. And the sad thing is that telling my boss was the easy part. Now I wonder how I'll tell my mom! She'll be disapointed and angry, and I just won't be able to bear it. Even though there's nothing she can do to me. And I'll here about it for the rest of my exam-taking career. My mom will nag me about every one, reminding me to register because "remember how unhappy I was this time", every sitting for the next 3 or 4 years until I'm done. Worse than that, for *at least* the next 10 years, she'll bring it up whenever I have to remember something important. I won't get to live it down.

 

She'll ask me if I am depressed. I am not depressed, I am exhausted. I have been traveling far too much lately, and I hate it. It throws off my schedule, it throws off my rhythm, and I just don't enjoy it. 3 of the 4 trips were to see my parents, and it's great to see them, and they want to see me as often as possible, but they don't really understand how much it wears me out. They don't get how hard it is on me to be away from my home.

 

And my mom is having her hip replaced in a week and a half. My parents don't really understand that this is stressful for my sister and I. After all, we're not the ones going through surgery. And yeah, it's a planned thing, not an emergency, but seriously, it's my mom. I am not so excited about facing the fact that she's getting older.

 

And I'm buying a house. And that's kind of daunting too. I have great credit, and I can afford it, but it's still a really big deal. I want to do it, but I'm afraid of moving again, afraid of change. Afraid of messing something up because I've never done this before. Or what if I forget to do something minor but crucial, and mess up my mortgage the same way I did my exam?

 

I am so damn tired. I want my mother. (except I want my mother when she's sweet and supportinve, not the way she is when she's all disapointed and disapproving.)

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It sounds to me like you were too damn tired and stressed to remember everything, and in my experience, it's often the most basic things that you forget when you're bordering on burnout. You have a lot on your plate right now! Are you sure you want to tell your mother that you forgot? Just from what I know of you here on the forum, "taking a break" to attend to other matters probably isn't your style, but it's the excuse that I'd use, sneaky slacker little shit that I am.

 

Congratualtions on buying a house. It is a very positive event, but it is stressful, no matter what. That's rather high up there in the "big life events" category. I'm thinking you're going to have a glorious garden next year! You and darkitysnark will make Martha Stewart look like an amateur hack.

 

ETA: Real estate agents and mortage companies exist to keep you from overlooking little details, especially when you're a first-time buyer. Don't worry!

And, I hope your mom's surgery goes uneventfully and successfully. I know a woman in her mid-50's who has had both hips replaced, and it's astonishing how fast her recovery was each time. And she told me that compared to the pain of her bad hips, pre-surgery, the operation wasn't a problem at all.

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No-you didn't mess up bigtime.I second the too uch on one plate kinda thing. And traveling is kinda hard on a gal too. SO guess what, don't tell your Moml As far as buying a house goes, it is definitely up there on the big stress points, but as far as the details goes, the attorneys,home inspectors,and agents are there for the details-that's what they do.

 

And just think,when you have your own house you can paint the living room and the bedroom and the kitchen whatever damn color you want! (after 17 years of beige wallpaper I now have what was described as a CSI red living room) take care

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