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BPAL Madness!
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Oh, hell no.

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Confection

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Alright, Government of Afghanistan: I have turned a blind eye when you allowed one of my co-workers to be kidnapped, let it slide when you stood by as rioters looted my house and burned down my office, but the provision that has recently gone into effect is where I draw the line.

 

Yeah, I know about it. I found out when I spent 35 minutes in a hot car riding down the IED-prone Jalalabad Road to the PX to pick up some beer. The security guy at the door looked at my passport and pointed out the sign

 

 

Effective August 16, 2006, by decree of the Ministry of the Interior, only individuals with ISAF (International Security Assistance Force, aka Coalition), UN or diplomatic identification will be allowed to purchase alcohol.

 

You thought you had me, right? I know you've got something to prove: regular Afghan shops selling beer and the resurrection of Vice and Virtue Office mean that you have to cut back and show you have power. Plus, your new Minister of the Interior was a runner-up--the Parliament rejected him from the Supreme Court because he is a conservative whack job. Well listen up: nothing keeps me from my Pino Grigio, not a decree from the Ministry nor some South Asian cashier at the PX.

 

I bought my beer and liquor in open defiance of your decree (with a little flirting with a guy with an ISAF badge) and I will not be deterred. There are few things I am willing to fight for, and my dear friend Ron Bacardi is one of them. It's ON.

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That is the stupid-est decree I have ever heard. Your job is hard enough as it is without taking away some of your your relaxation. Morons.

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Luckily, I have already identified three ways around it, but you should have seen me on Sunday, it was like "supermarket sweep"! I was running around the store grabbing all the liquor I could get my hands on!

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This particular decree has driven up the price of alcohol exorbinantly--last night my friends and I paid $30 for a pitcher of margaritas. In response, I stole the glass pitcher they came in.

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