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BPAL Madness!
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Train wrecks

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valentina

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I am not making this one up, kids.

 

When I was at the hair salon on Wednesday, I was looking down at the floor while my stylist had me tip my head forward and down just a bit. The stylist at the next chair over was wearing jeans, a tank top and thong sandals with little kitten heels. The fact that I even noticed what kind of sandals that she was wearing is a bit of a miracle, for I was very busy looking at her toenails. She had the French pedicure toenails, only where the little strip of white polish would be at the end of each toenail (which were rather long), she had a strip of dark blue polish. I sat there, looking at them, trying to decide if I liked them better than the traditional French pedicure, of if I found them more horrifying. It was a bit of a flip-off at the traditional style, which I can appreciate, but it also appeared as if each toenail was growing a nice, even strip of blue nail fungus. I still haven't decided.

 

Her pedicure is rather like this man who shows up at the outdoor pool at the health club. He's probably in his mid-late 50's, and looks a bit like a puffy, going into corpulent Rutger Hauer. He shows up to swim laps, and he's really a very strong swimmer. But he wears a Speedo. It is most unappealing, but I've noticed that everyone's eyes drift over to this man. It is like a train wreck. It's impossible not to look.

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Blue-tipped toenails sound more revolting than the speedo. :rantrave: I saw a guy the other day with nasty, chipped dark blue metallic sort of polish on his toenails. At first I thought it was some sort of toenail necrosis or something and when I realized it was polish, I was like wtf? because it was so hideous.

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Blue-tipped toenails sound more revolting than the speedo. :rantrave: I saw a guy the other day with nasty, chipped dark blue metallic sort of polish on his toenails. At first I thought it was some sort of toenail necrosis or something and when I realized it was polish, I was like wtf? because it was so hideous.

 

"Toenail necrosis" might be a helluva name for a blue-black nail polish color!

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I've actually seen a handful of people with reverse french manicures, white nails with black tips, and I actually like it. However, I could never pull it off as I do my nails myself and I don't have a steady hand. And I'm more partial to short and neatly trimmed nails in purples, greys and even black.

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I don't french manicure my toes (I agree, it's ridiculous) But on my hands, sometimes in the summer I like to sport what I've heard called a "cuban manicure", red nails with white tips.

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:shakes head:

 

I'm sorry.... I .... was going to post something about.... um, toenails? And maybe polish? Or... something?

 

But I keep getting mental flashes of hairy, incredibly tanned middle aged Italian men in Speedoes... and then my brain shuts down. :rantrave:

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:shakes head:

 

I'm sorry.... I .... was going to post something about.... um, toenails? And maybe polish? Or... something?

 

But I keep getting mental flashes of hairy, incredibly tanned middle aged Italian men in Speedoes... and then my brain shuts down. :lol:

 

The only thing that would be more catatonia-inducing is an incredibly tanned, middle-aged man in a Speedo, and he has :rantrave: French manicured toenails.

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I really want to put together some sort of joke involving Andy Garcia in his Ocean's 11 suit, strappy sandals and a Cuban pedicure yelling "ARGH BLARGH!!" but I'm too hot and ... stupid ... right now ... zzz

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:rantrave: Dawndie, I think you have it! Now whenever I see some sort of toenail painting atrocity, I'm going to start out by saying ARGH BLARGH! That is probably what Andy was yelling about at the end of "Ocean's 11" and we didn't understand that it was the official Cuban protest that someone has French manicured, and not Cuban manicured nails!

 

(BTW, Antimony -- I love Cuban manicured fingernails. They are very retro and exotic. I even like French manicured fingernails, but they aren't as hot and Latin.)

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