I realize I'm unsophisticated. To some people I'm probably pretty tacky. I'd rather hang out in a bar eating something fried out of a basket and drinking a beer than somewhere fancy and expensive and all dressed up. Our home furnishings range from "comfy" to "odd." Some pictures on the wall are posters in cheap frames. I don't travel to exotic places, and really don't want to. We got married in Vegas, and my dress cost $100 online.
But I work full time. Everything we have we've paid for -- we didn't get help with the house, or the cars, or have a bunch of money placed in our bank account. I have a college degree, but went to an inexpensive school and got a 4-year scholarship.
I have extended family members who have a lot of money, and they live nearby. They probably feel obligated to invite us to family functions. They like talking about their vacations and how much their house is worth. Their kids go to the privatest of schools and are thought to be perfect in every way.
I'm tired of pretending I like them. And I'm not going to do it anymore.
I emailed a girlfriend in California whom I haven't seen since Christmas. We've been friends since junior high and she doesn't have the highest self-esteem in the world, even though she's smart, pretty and hilarious. So I worry about her, especially in the guy department. The comedian Bill Hicks wrote a song called "Chicks Dig Jerks" ("Hitler had Eva Braun / Manson had Squeaky Fromme / I don't know how the world works / All I know is chicks dig jerks") and she picks these boyfriends (and a couple of husbands) who seem to treat her like crap and she doesn't see a problem.
Anyway, she's in a doozy situation, in that a few years ago her dad and stepmom won the lottery. They bought a huge house where we grew up, but they're barely there as they spend all their time now at their "ranch" in another state. So my friend is staying by herself in this massive house just a few minutes from her job. Sounds great, right?
I'm thinking initially that would be wonderful -- a big house where everything's fancy and new, everything paid for, close to my job so I could cover my own expenses and save huge amounts of money. But then reality would kick in: she can't redecorate anywhere, and the house is currently neo-Miami Vice. She's basically the 24-hour maid, gardener and unarmed guard for free. Nothing "belongs" to her, she's just house-sitting. Plus I'm afraid of her becoming a target, even though the house is all securitied-up, and I don't want anyone (that she knows or doesn't know) taking advantage of her.
So ultimately I would have to decline living in the big house for free. I wouldn't be independent and that's really important to me at this point. I need our own space, as shabby and homely as it is, but it belongs to us.
Oh crap. Just when I'm contented with my BPAL purchase, and we've gotten the gutters replaced ($2000 total), other favorite sites are updating too! Son of an Ass! (tm Samir in Office Space)
--Villainess has a huge update with a bunch more soaps. Crushed is back! It came and went so quickly I didn't have a chance to order the first time -- I'm a sucker for raspberries and chocolate. Plus I want the new Villainess signature scent (florals and leather), and Byzantium (resins and Egyptian musks), and Canaan (honey, berries and florals), and Krakatoa (tropical fruits! I coconut) and Vintage ("antique oak and yesterday's vanilla," what a great description!) and and and *falls over*
--feMaledictions is in the process of updating too, with a Sugar Butter Scrub! Oh jeez that sounds nice. I love her incense and she's added 4 new scents including The Golden Proportion (black vanilla beans! Where's my perfume to match? ) and New Rose (I love rose incense and can't find it very often, other than the bulk Indian incense packs at Cost Plus). Plus hemp soaps? And soy tarts? And a hint at 50+ new blends? *gets up off the floor, then falls over again*
BPAL is the priority, and every month I make orders there. But I like supporting these other small Internet businesses. If someone's making a good product and putting thought and heart into it, and bucking the bullcrap old-and-busted "retail" model, that's cool too.
I'm not on LJ, but I like how you can post what you're currently listening to. It's a nice snapshot into someone, plus I'm a voyeur in that I like seeing what people are reading and watching and listening to and putting up on their walls. To me the ultimate superpower would be invisibility, because I would love to go through houses, especially with no one home, to see how others live (as long as they're not slobby). What do people collect? What do they have sitting on a shelf?
Location: Dallas, Texas, where it hit frickin' 100 today! Ugh. It's too early to be this hot.
Currently reading: Jazz from the Ken Burns PBS series. It's very interesting, as I know very little about jazz. My biggest beef is that I wish there were accompanying CDs so when they talk about how revolutionary so-and-so's recording was, I can listen to it. But that just means I need to see the PBS series.
Currently listening to: Lindsey Buckingham compilation in my car. I called it "Conducive to Creativity" because in one interview he was going on about how he left Fleetwood Mac when it was no longer conducive to creativity, and that cracked my ass up. He's a very interesting musician but seems like a beating to hang around with and talk to. But that's probably how a lot of musicians are in real life.
Currently listening to: "This Side" by Nickel Creek -- I this CD
Currently smelling like: Port-au-Prince, then Montresor
My unofficial goal with this blog was to go 1 full month of entries, and I couldn't even accomplish that -- I created an entry yesterday, but deleted it as so craptacular I couldn't post it, lots of familial complaining. So what's happened since then?
Yesterday: my Mom turned 60! I can't believe it. That sounded so old when I was growing up. DH even said, "Your mom is 60? She doesn't look it." She doesn't act it either. That's my goal: to not act my age. My mom has so many hobbies and interests, plus she and dad own their own business, they're busy and interesting. I admire their lives and want to be more like them in that aspect.
Today: we probably spent too much at Home Depot, but I told DH as we got in the car, "I like going into those stores, I just wish we had the money to do what we wanted." It was outside stuff, topsoil and grass seed and stain and waterproofing for a little wooden bridge. Then we went to a pub and drank beer and I had the best baja spicy shrimp tacos EVER and then came home and watched Sopranos. Oh, and both the Suns and Mavericks won their playoff games, so DH is happy.
It's update time! Oh how I love updates, although this one was only for the Lunacy. I did order Harvest Moon -- when I saw the will-call notice and they mentioned Harvest Moon, I first thought I wouldn't want it because I previously had a bottle of HM04 and while it started out nice and autumnal, it ended up a bit too strongly floral for me and I gave the bottle to my mom. So when HM05 came out I didn't order, but the reviews sounded more fruity and I wish I would have tried it. Now this blend sounds totally new and different, so I'm in!
I also ordered bottles of Hellcat and Morocco, another couple of catalog blends that were giving me dirty looks from my "wanted" list. Hellcat is so creamy sweet, some people think it's too foody but I just love it in the imp, it's a perfect fall scent. At a previous Meet-n-Sniff I got an imp of Old Morocco and fell in love -- it's a perfect dark brooding incensey blend. From what I've read it may have to be aged, so we'll see.
I am a bit disappointed that my order from 5/13 is still outstanding -- I know the Lab is catching up, but it would be personally exciting for me to receive an order early (ahead of the pack) instead of late. Hopefully this means I'll get all 3 outstanding orders in July!
ETA: Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! I came home and there was my 5/13 order with no click-n-ship. Aw yeah
My super-favorite purchase of the moment: Blondie greatest hits with videos! I had a couple CDs already but couldn't resist getting a DVD of old videos. They're so much fun -- it looks like they woke up and said, "Let's make a video!" And Blondie dresses up in a Hefty trash bag and a bathing suit and some electrical tape and tube socks and Candies and they make a video. So great! Can I be Blondie? No? Damn.
Ugh, these allergies are driving me crazy. I never had them growing up in Southern California, but when we moved to Ohio after college, to a place that actually had "seasons," I started getting them. Most of the time it's nothing more than sneezing and nose issues, but this spring has been irritating, literally.
I have "dry head," where it feels my sinuses are dry and crackly. I wake up in the middle of the night with my sinuses hurting, they're so dry. My eyes are red and dry and itchy, and I have that weird empty-head feeling like after you've cried and you're done and feel better -- "airy head," maybe?
But the worst is I haven't been able to wear any nice BPAL smellies for 2 weeks. I'm breaking out in red itchy rashes wherever I apply, and it doesn't matter what I wear. I love the fruity winey scents the most, and just received bottles of Masque and Montresor, and while both smell great when I apply I end up with rashes that last for days.
I'm debating buying a locket, but will probably try a cheaper one first before shelling out the $70 for a BPTP one. Plus my very favorite Triple Dagger is sold out. They have some cute ones at www.necropolis.biz -- I like the celtic cross and knot, and they're cheap enough for me to try and not feel guilty about more jewelry.
This weekend we went to DH's old workplace one last time. We moved to Dallas 5 years ago because the music retail company he worked for in Ohio was begging him to take over a store -- he was offered places in Vegas, Denver and Southern California before he accepted here. He was excited because he would be involved from the ground up, as the outdoor, urban retail complex wasn't even finished yet, and he would be involved in construction and inventory and fixtures and hiring and everything.
Unfortunately for him, 2 weeks after he opened was 9/11. Retail across the country tanked, and his brand-spanking new store was no exception. Add in management changes, and suddenly the golden boy was a problem child. Without going into detail, things ended on a bad note, but it was a company-wide problem. They've since closed a bunch of prominent retail stores, and they're closing the one DH worked so hard to open.
So we go there on Sunday, a couple of weeks before their closing, and it's like a mausoleum. Empty, cavernous and depressing. But DH wasn't depressed, because he actually got a better job afterwards with lots more security. And he can Scoreboard!
The sports radio station we like here has a term: "Scoreboard!" Like if someone is bitching about how much greater a coach is over Phil Jackson, you just say "Scoreboard" and realize Phil Jackson has won 9 NBA championships. Not that I like Phil Jackson, he's a pompous ass , but he has scoreboard over Larry Brown or Pat Riley or whoever.
I'm babbling, but my point is to appreciate when you can Scoreboard over something -- not in a mean, malicious way, but more self-affirming.
OK, last night's episode was awesome. Lots of stuff happened: a ton of ouija-type glass movement, the TV turning off and back on, and pool balls being thrown. It was great! Plus it was so cool to hear all about the building. I was a bit disappointed they didn't do more in the rooms upstairs, but they spent a lot of time in the cool bar in the basement which was rad.
I left a pretty giddy message yesterday for my sister to watch the show -- Mom and I are into haunted stuff more than she is, so she was probably like, "Whatever, it's Friday night and since we have a social life we're not sitting at home watching TV." I haven't heard back from her.
I wish I had a stronger psychic sense about things, but nothing weird has happened to me. DH, on the other hand, has had a ton of stuff happen to him and he said he didn't feel anything weird in the building. But since there were 150-200 people there, there was probably too much going on for anything to hang around. I'll put his experiences in another post -- he has some great stories to tell.
I'm completely overwhelmed by the latest update, with the Lupercalia and Carnaval Diabolique additions. So many great scents! I don't want to go through the whole list of every new scent, but the ones I'm interested in are:
Svadhinaopatika -- the amber blends are OK on me, not great; they don't seem to last very long, but I love the honey blends and would like to try this
Vasakasajja -- I've been really liking the champaca blends lately, so nice and incensey/floral
Chintamani-Dhupa -- another incense blend that sounds exotic and romantic and great
Khajuraho -- I sniffed last year's at a Meet-n-Sniff and while I thought I would love it, it was a bit underwhelming. All the ingredients sound nice though, so I should try a bottle
Parliament of Monsters -- another incense blend. More please!
Australian Copperhead -- what a great idea to do so many variations of Snake Oil. I want to try the blends that focus on my favorite BPAL notes, like vanilla or honey or musk, so this one with amber and vanilla sounds nice
Death Adder -- same as above, with black coconut and vanilla
Temple Viper -- same as above, with sugar cane, frankincense and champaca
Western Diamondback -- if this had the leather from Dead Man's Hand or Quincey Morris, I will die!
Wild Men -- maybe red amber would be stronger than regular amber? The additional ingredients sound nice
In conclusion: I ordered Haloa (before the Yules disappear), Haunted (a GC that I've been wanting forever) and Australian Copperhead
I started a huge work rant, then deleted it all. Work today went fine, a lot better than I feared -- I'm not blamed for the vendor flake-out, I'm already making arrangements with the runner-up, they seem pleased that we're back, and I'm glad I didn't burn any bridges.
Beth posted a whole bunch of new TAL oils, and I'm really intrigued. I should read the forum section, but I'm under the impression that people wear TALs as oil, or anoint a candle. I'm very interested in Milk & Honey, as it seems to speak to my goals -- I'm not looking for a financial windfall, but I like enjoying what we have and hope it continues. The description is, "A subtle love and money combination blend. Tends to invoke the luxurious, pleasurable aspects of romance and prosperity." I really like the image that creates.
How would you use some of the Temple blends? I'm guessing that if you have certain favorite deities, like Egyptian, you would use that oil. I need to do some more research.
I think my allergies finally cleared up, as I've been able to wear my nice BPAL smellies without breaking out in rashes for the past couple days!
How I missed Hellion and Masque and The Star and ...
--We were testing our DSL on a streaming radio station and I wanted some '80s music. I picked a random station and it came up "ew Wave and Alternative" on iTunes radio -- HAHAHAHA! I listen to ew wave!
--sophia_helix had a general rant/complaint/statement a couple of days ago regarding people begging for LEs, like "OMG I NEED THIS LOL!!!" I can see where she's coming from. Everyone right now wants Monster Panties or the C12 blends, like those are the best things Beth has ever created. The fact is that Beth has many many blends that are great and are GC and wholly available.
I completely understand the lure of the LE: there has been many a blend that I bought simply because it was only available for a limited time and what if I love it and I'll never sniff anything like it again and and and *falls over dead* But then when you get them, they're not better than a GC blend just because they're LE. I can name a bunch of GC blends that I love and a bunch of LE blends that were meh.
In conclusion: don't fret over not getting a 5ml of Storyville. There are many other blends that are great.
I joke about filing for bankruptcy, but actually have experienced it almost-first-hand: I worked for a bankruptcy attorney for 2 years. It seemed I saw people at the worst point of their lives, but as I've said after working for attorneys for many years, "If everyone was rich and happy, no one would need an attorney."
We seriously had a Kleenex budget, because many times we had people crying in the office over their decision. There were straight-up dumbos whose logic was, "I have credit cards I can't pay, so to feel better I'll go shopping!" One couple who made really decent money (over $100K/year) had almost $300K in credit cards and loans. But a lot of people were there for normal bad luck -- divorce, where one person gets stuck with a house payment they can't afford on their own; illness; losing their job; people who owned their own businesses mixing their personal finances up with the business.
It drives me crazy, especially with this new "bankruptcy reform," that the general consensus is that people who file for bankruptcy are deadbeats and abuse the system by filing over and over. As I saw it, the system was in fact working fine, with honest judges and attorneys who wanted to be fair to everyone, including the creditors. The attorney I worked for flat-out refused to represent people whom she suspected were lying to her. She was one of the top bankruptcy attorneys in the city, and there was no way she was putting her license and reputation on the line for anyone.
What I learned was to be very diligent with our own finances:
--Pay important bills in full every month. Mortgage/rent, utilities, car payment & insurance.
--Everything else like credit cards that can't be paid in full, pay as much as possible. "Minimum amounts" are for suckers.
--If you can't pay off something in one month, try to pay it off the next month. Seriously. If that means less going out, less concerts or movies, do it and catch up.
--Pay everything early, not late. Creditors luuuuvs when you pay late, even one day, because not only do they get their money but they have the excuse to charge $25-45! Because you're one day late? Nah, man.
--If you don't like an interest rate, change it. If the mortgage is too high, you can refinance after a couple years if you've been good with payments. Credit cards, call them and ask for a lower rate. If not, use one of those 0% interest for 6 months offers with someone else. And keep track of the due dates too -- if it's no interest until June, pay it off or transfer by June.
Anyway, I'm going on and on. The point is, take control! Power to the people!
Normal Sunday for us is running errands, then going out for a late lunch + beer and watching Sopranos. I kinda feel bad as we were invited to the big Easter bash at uncle & aunt's house and we blew it off. Yes, since we were invited we probably should've gone.
On the other hand, we weren't invited by the uncle and/or aunt, but the sister of the aunt, so it's not as important, right? Plus it was going to be a huge gathering, and did they really miss us when we didn't show up? No way.
I feel like, since it's our day off, we should do what we want. We went to Home Depot and bought stuff for the house like A/C filters and aerators for the faucets. We also went to The Labyrinth, a witchy herb store that I've been wanting to go to for a while. Lots of incense and oils and books and stones, and it was great.
It seemed like we went on the perfect day, as Easter came from the spring renewal rituals, so why not go to a pagan store on that day? The owner was talking to me about rituals and what would be best to use. I've always been interested in different religions, not just growing up Catholic and Christian but learning about Buddhist and Pagan too. I really felt comfortable there -- I felt like things were going well for us and I wanted to give thanks, and she was open to that. It's more than financial, just a peaceful feeling in life, and it seemed that to "ask" for more meant being greedy; I just wanted to give thanks for what we had. That's all.
