I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that there was no drama today, save me losing my schedule and finding it shortly thereafter. I'm kind of afraid. I sort of like all of my classes and feel comfortable- they're not necessarily going to be particularly "fun", but that's okay.
I tentatively like my instructors. I think I may keep this schedule. Yeah, that's all.
It is awesome that the lab is updating like crazy. It means there will be ever so many scents in which to delight, and loads of fun swaps to arrange and hunt for and experience. It is not a bad thing that I can't buy anymore BPAL for several months (er, that might get tossed out.), it just makes life more interesting. I will pay off all debts and focus on school.
The notes don't immediately appeal (pear, blue lotus and crystal musk do strike my fancy, I must admit), so I can certainly afford to miss this one single (er, double) lunacy.
It struck me right through the heart when somebody compared it to the legend of Miskatonic U, though.
Regardless. I do not need any new scents. It'll be more fun when I can more easily afford them anyway. Plus, it'll be neat to read the reviews and stalk the forums for decants.
There's something up with my inner ear. I've had an earache all weekend, and my balance is messed up.
It's been too long since I wrote in here. So here I am.
Knitting has come to a standstill, as I sort of began feeling hopeless with it. It also got pushed way down on my list of priorities.
I am going to be baking cookies to include for my switchee. Possibly fudge.
So, my husband and I had a long conversation about weight and stress. We need to bite the bullet and just stop. And I can do that if he tells me that's what we're doing. But if he wavers at all, I'll hit a craving and justify it like woah. So, no more snacks. Instead, we will have real meals. And salads. With Newman's Own dressing.
I pointed out that when we need time to ourselves, away from the housemate, we always go out to eat. We could easily go walk around Hastings and pick up a game or a few books for what we spend on eating out. We need to reward ourselves in other ways. For me, that's easy- BPAL, Villainess, and other e-tailers that I've grown fond of.
Noumenon wrote something in (If I recall correctly) a wanted post recently, and it really sort of hit home for me. She said something to the effect of: I've been here a short while now, and I spent the summer nailing what I wanted in the GC. Now I want to seek out some limited editions.
I haven't done that. Even though I tend to enjoy the GC scents more, I am obsessed with LE's. OMGWTFBBQWhatifInevereverseeitagain!!! This could be my One Chance!
I still want Pumpkin Queen and Sol Invictus, but I think I need to focus on the catalog for the time being. There's no reason for me not to have bottles of Alice, Sudha Segara, Dorian, Arkham (!), Port-au-Prince, O, and others. Even though I've loved Arkham since Kmasden was nice enough to send me a decant in February, I believe, I didn't order a bottle when it was brought back. I love Alice! I sing her praises constantly! But no bottle.
So I'm going to lay off the LE's, and I'm going to treat myself, when I can, to GC bottles. First up: Arkham.
I am going to try and participate in NaNoWriMo. I'm worried I'm stretching myself too thin, with school and swaps and knitting and the holidays and everything going on. But I am already writing down the dares I'm pondering adding to my story. It should be entertaining.
Take care, loves. I'm out of steam.
Hee. If you look at the list of scents I want to buy right now, check out how many of them are predominantly florals. MLST isn't, and Alice isn't quite, and there's also Bengal, which certainly isn't one... But by and large, those are floral scents! How did that happen? Also, look at how many of those feature rose! I came in to BPAL with a strong dislike of rose, but I have, as they say, seen the light. Hah. I also didn't like vanilla very much. Hopefully that was just my own scent discovery, and it won't change so drastically over this year.
I don't know if this is just me, but sometimes I have trouble dealing with kindness when I'm going through a rough time. I don't know how to explain it, other than it makes me break down, because it's overwhelming, or something... does that make sense? At any rate, there's a whole heck of a lot of kindness here and as much as I appreciate it, I think I need to sign off for the evening. Love to everyone.
I can't stop crying. I'm not even sure I know why anymore.
As has become expected, I am doing much better today than I was yesterday. I am SUCH a freak the first day of a new quarter, seriously.
Speech is going to be challenging, but I think it'll be good for me, and I already like the instructor. I got into the 8:00 math class and dropped the one that traumatized me, so even though I'll have to get up at 6am, I'll be totally done with school by 11:30, and that is really nice. I have missed that. I'm half tempted to do a 7:00 class next spring so I'll get out at around 10. But... eh. I'm not that much of a morning person, and dragging myself to yoga at that time was seriously difficult, and that was only two days a week.
I like my Lord of the Rings instructor, too. I have a feeling that is going to be a good class for me; I just need to get reading. For now, though, I need to do some math!
to everyone! Thanks for all the support!
Sooo... now that I'm all registered for the maths next quarter- precalculus, to be exact- I'm starting to feel anxious about passing the final.
I've done fine in the class and I've had reasonably few problems grasping the concepts, but if I choke on the final... well, I can't get higher than a 1.7, even if I had a 4.0 going into it.
I know I'll pass. I know I'll pass. I need to pass.
Oh, and just in case you're lurking, Indi- I dropped History of the Modern Middle East, not linguistics. I need my fun class, and while I'd prefer archaeology, linguistics works out pretty well anyway.
Now I'm obsessing over how to work my schedule from here on out. I have 4 more quarters (counting Spring) before I can start the radiology program, though I have to be accepted first. Classes I have to take: A&P 1 and 2, Statistics. Possibly one other thing. Classes I want to take: Precalc 1 and 2, Calculus 1-4, English 201, Intro to Genetics, Archaeology, Physical Anthropology. A lot of classes to fit into three quarters, since I'm already registered for spring.
Fall: A&P 1, Precalc 2, English 201 or Genetics
Winter: A&P 2, Calc 1, Statistics
Spring: Calc 2, English 201, archaeology
....yeah. I didn't really think that one through all the way. I just really want to learn this. Why didn't I tackle math sooner? And why is calculus a 4 course sequence?
Math. Why am I taking precalculus? I have this image of myself and I won't be "smart" if I can't do math, if I don't have a degree, if I'm not good enough. I don't want to drop it, but I don't want to be taking it for no reason at all. Or for no good reason. I mean, is it healthy to take it so I can prove to myself that I am capable of understanding higher math? I feel like I may've really screwed up. Even if I took the second half of precalc this summer, I still wouldn't get the full sequence of calculus unless a. I don't get into the program or b. I sneak in the last one in tandem with the radiology tech program. Neither of those seem like good options. OMG. Somebody tell me to calm the hell down.
Fun times. So, somebody I've been friends with for coming on seven years now has sort of just proven himself to be a rather awful person. The sad part is that I should've seen it coming, and I just wanted to believe the best about him. The really sad part is that other people are paying for my mistake with him. It's a huge mess. I'm pretty angry all around. And sad. I've spent the better part of a year (or more) trying to help him find his way, and all he's been doing is taking advantage of me and anyone close to me who wants to help me... Grrrarrrgggghhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrggggg.
I totally want these socks!
Feeling a little better. Not sleeping like I should be. Still looking for neat and relatively easy patterns to try. Working on the one thing, and now I'm a little worried about how it is going to turn out. Anyway.
I am going to work out next week. If I do not, please thwack me. It is for my own well-being. And, honestly, it'll be good to start early in the quarter instead of waiting to the very last moment.
I'm nervous about school starting, still, but also still excited. I got these super cute pants that are in a size I never want to purchase again, and a few shirts, with the gift cards from our wedding.
It was nice to get out today. I got a few things mailed out and the aforementioned clothes. I didn't get much knitting done, though. This is not good.
I love the song Ladylike, and I can't get it out of my head. I need it for my ride to school.
My witch gave me an awesome mixed cd; it's got David Hasslehoff on it, in German! Plus the black rum song, and Charlotte Church. I love it. And I don't know if my lips are just wierd, but the bonnie bell lip smacker's stuff has made them softer than most things I've tried recently-- which is a lot!
Jarvenpa read my husband's chart for me. It was really quite breathtaking. I like thinking that the stars and the planets are an intrinsic part of our lives.
Back to the subject of school: Re: Art: I'm really worried about it. I don't know if it's just self-doubt or if it's intuitive, but I have this really nagging feeling that I shouldn't be taking it. Then again, I have similar feelings about most of my classes. So, I dunno. I'll see how things unfold next week.
Annnyway. That's it.
I'm doing a weekly weigh in, and I'm going to record stuff about it in here.
Loss Today: 4.0lbs
Loss in August: 7.8
Cumulative Loss: 11.8lbs
Long term overall goal: 99.6lbs
Short term overall goal: 35lbs
Updated Long and Short Term goals to address weight lost: 87.8/23.2
I am still undecided. I want this quarter to be a really good one! I don't want to regret not taking precalc. Um. That's about it. Hope you're all doing well!
Frazzled.
School starts on monday. What's it going to be like? What if I get lost? What if I wear the wrong shoes? What if I've got the wrong lunch box? What if I trip on the stairs? ... right. I've been here before, and I have badass shoes (except the ugly gold ones I wore at my wedding) and I don't have a lunch box, and if I trip on the stairs for the zillionth time, then I'll laugh for the zillionth time and accept help up from the cute boy who calls me ma'am. ...wait. That was mostly right. Except for the boy calling me ma'am. And, really, how often do I trip on the stairs?
So, yeah. Nerves are high.
In other news: My mom has not been to the ER, so no more bleeding as of yet. The doctor came over and changed her bandage and generally checked her leg out. He says it looks ouchy but okay. Well, I'm summarizing.
I haven't kept up with anybody else lately, and I'm really sorry for that. I'm on power-save mode right now, which sucks, especially if you're my friend Rob, who had a birthday several days ago and didn't get a phone call from me. But I remembered! My anxiety has just been so friggin' high lately that everytime I think about calling him now, I think "He'll think I forgot!" and then it all goes downhill from there.
Stupid anxiety. Stupid nightmares. Grr.
I need to get my school things together. Notebooks and whatnot. I think I'm going to end up carrying three bags; one for each class. I'm wondering if I'll need the psychology book. I know the instructor, and I haven't used any textbooks in his classes thus far, but none of them were psych. I guess I'll figure it out. I'm looking forward to next week being over with. I wish I could just ask the art instructor if he's going to be a psycho-lunatic, but that probably wouldn't go over well.
The watchdog group didn't work out. We paid stupid Trinsic. They're going to disconnect the number entirely in 24-48 hours, so I'll probably be without DSL until Verizon can get us hooked up. I dunno how long that'll take, so if you don't hear from me, don't worry, for I am not gone.
Ugh. I hate this.
Did I mention my whole math saga yet? I mean, the latest part of it. Just for the record, I don't like doing badly. So sucking in math this quarter has been a huge strain on my anxiety. HUGE. (Learning that I might be able to draw, however, has been priceless.) And I've sucked to the point where I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull a D-, which is a .7. I was pissed at myself when I got a 3.1 out of intro to Anthropology. That's just for comparison, so the sting of this is crystal clear. Monday, my instructor showed us our grades going into the final. Mine was a .5- I could lose my financial aid if I don't get at least a .7. This sucks. SUCKS! So I go in on tuesday, absolutely flattened because there's just no way I can see I'll be able to score high enough on the final to pull a .7; no way. She comes over again and goes, "Oh, I was mistaken. THIS is actually what you have right now." And points to a 1.7. Uh, that's quite a change. It also puts me into range for pulling a 2.0, which is what I need to move past college level algebra. Most importantly, it is NOT a .5!! Holy shit.
So now I don't want to screw up my grade. I want to do well on the final, and I have no idea if I can do that or not. I'm not prepared. I know I'm going to be taking it over again, but... it'd be nice to do it because I want to, not because I have to. Y'know?
I have some sort of a skin infection that's not going to kill me, but it is grossing me out. Plus, I have to take 4 pills a day to help clear it up. Because it's communicable, I'm going to have to bathe in bleach. Or just go swimming a lot, which is preferrable. On top of that, the air conditioner in my room froze over, so we've had it off to let it thaw out and it's freaking hot in here. It explains why the ac hasn't been putting out as much cool air as it probably should be.
And, uh, now it appears to be broken. Crap.
I think I need to crawl into the land of the sims now.
I hate when people die. And I feel guilty if I haven't spoken to them in a while.
I've been thinking about my friend, Charlie. He died about two years ago. He's been on my mind all week. I cried so hard when I found out.
"I could never commit suicide," he once told me, when I was feeling particularly suicidal. "It goes against my religion. I don't want to go to hell."
I don't believe he's in hell.
I miss him a lot.
Love you, Charlie.
Love to you, Cove and Judy.
I was living in Utah when my paternal grandmother died. She was a sweet, beautiful lady. I am so grateful that I spent a lot of time with her when I was growing up. I spent most weekends at her house, and later her apartment. She was lucid and active when she passed away, but she had moved in with her daughter, who lived near Portland at the time. She never wanted to burden her children, so I think that may've been part of the reason she was ready to go. (Quick aside, since I don't want to mar this story with anger, but I really, really dislike my aunt. She took advantage of my grandmother, and there was even suspicion briefly that she may've "helped" her pass on, but again, that's for another time.)
I felt peaceful about it. It wasn't an ugly death, and she lived a long time- though I couldn't tell you her exact age, she was in her late 80s at least, probably early 90s. I was sad that I was so far away, and that I hadn't seen her for some time, but I did okay with it. Thanks to a dear friend who worked with Delta airlines, I was able to fly home for her memorial service and spend some time there to recharge.
The week after her memorial service, we got a phone call from my aunt. She had 2 children- her oldest was a boy, 13, and her youngest was a girl, 7. The girl was a surprise- majorly. My aunt had had her fallopian tubes tied off, and my uncle had a vasectomy, but she was something of a miracle. She looked so much like my uncle that there's no doubt she was his.
I spent summers with them, and at one time had been very close to them. They were like siblings, especially the boy. Then I grew up and didn't spend as much time with them- they lived several hours away, and I was busy, and then I moved.
The call was to let us know that her son had killed himself. You know what the first thing I felt was? Relief. Isn't that horrible? I was afraid that my mother was going to tell me that he had killed somebody else- his sister, classmates, anyone else. He could have been a school shooter, but he wasn't, and I was relieved. I can clearly remember going through all the stages of grief, especially denial, which seems like the most ridiculous one to me. Maybe it was an accident with the gun. Maybe somebody else had done it and made it look like he had done it. Was he at the hospital? Maybe he wasn't even really dead. Maybe they were working on him there.
There was a note. To this day, I absolutely ache to read it, to pore over it, to see what made him do it, and to get some answers. They're not there; they're never there. I didn't ever get to read it, but I morbidly grilled my aunt for details of what had happened leading up to it. I was obsessed with trying to understand. There's no way to understand. The only person who can really provide any answers is gone, and that is the HARDEST thing in the world I've ever had to accept.
It was morning, and his mom left for about 15 minutes, to drop his dad off at work, since they only had the one car that was working. He had eaten his breakfast and showered; gotten ready for school. His homework was done. He and my aunt briefly spoke about buying roses for his girlfriend, and he seemed excited about it.
When my aunt got home, she went downstairs to get him off to school, and he had done it. She said, "No mother should have to see what I saw." I agree. Her daughter was hiding under her bed upstairs. The story goes that she didn't go down to investigate the gunshot, but I'm almost positive that she went down and was actually the first one to find him, and then went and hid until her mom got home.
This may seem almost silly to add in, but the day of his memorial service, we got a call from home- the kid who had been looking after our cat found her dead when he went in to feed her that morning. We'd had her for 18 years; I couldn't remember being without her, and she was probably 20... so that just added one more ache. It was one more loss.
That was such a dark time. I still don't know how you deal with suicide. I never found a way.
My other cousin, his little sister, is the absolute light of my life. She was my maid of honor at my wedding, despite the fact that she was only 15. I love her so much, and I wish I could protect her from all the pain she's been through. She's the one who is possibly moving to Maine, eventually. A few years after her brother's death, she was skiing with her dad, on Thanksgiving, and he had a heart attack and died. This kid has been through the wringer. She is such an inspiration to me, and I don't think she even knows it.
Anyway... I don't know. I guess I needed a mental purge. Sorry if this upsets anybody, though.
I HAVE to apply for financial aid for the '06-'07 school year very soon! Turns out I'm going to be taking a series of two math classes instead of this one I'm failing so miserably right now. It sucks, and I don't want to fail again. It makes my GPA cry. And by fail, I do mean fail. I'm trying to see the positive side, which is that I'll get to take more classes that I really want to try, to prepare for the career path I'm interested in before the pressure really sets in. Since when did 2 year colleges become 4 year schools?
I'm really, really tired.
Eris (Wow. This is sort of embarrassing. My nose was just so untrained... yeah. But Eris is special, because she was my first. I'd like to give her another go, now that I'm almost a year into it. Most of my early reviews are exceedingly painful, really.)
Scherezade
Moxie
Eos
Jailbait
Aizen-Myoo
Penny Dreadful (I'd like to try this one again.)
Dragon's Milk
Black Forest
Zombi (Another I'd like to retry)
Seraphim
Numb (Another I'd like to retry)
Inferno
Midnight
Hamadryad
Lick It
Hollywood Babylon
Hell's Belle (I need to update this review to reflect an aversion to that type of musk.)
Glasgow
Red Devil
Jester
Whitechapel Dude! I really need to update this review! It's awful, and for one of my favourite scents ever!)
Swank
Grand Guignol (I really want to try this one again.)
Bliss (I don't love this one so much anymore.)
Madrid (Not as enchanted by this one anymore.)
Velvet
Dragon's Blood
Dragon's Hide
Dragon's Eye
Malediction
Blood
Voodoo
The Lady of Shalott
Arkham (Revisited)
Akuma (Be sure and read the review by WidgetAlley, which is right before mine.)
Follow Me Boy
Asphodel
Florence
Serpent's Kiss
Sea of Glass
Kali
Grog
Bluebeard
Haunted
Hunger
Blood Lotus
Blood Rose
Lilith
Block Buster
Red Lantern
Gingerbread Poppet
Endymion
Aunt Caroline's Joy Mojo
Shub Niggurath
Monster Bait: Closet
Lolita
Alice
Rage
Bloodlust
Voodoo Queen
Thirteen (13)
Verdandi
Tezcatlipoca
The Hesperides
Santa Muerte
Cerberus
Lotus Moon
Shattered
Villain
Danse Macabre
Debauchery
Golden Priapus
Coyote
Khephra
Hetairae
Wicked
O
Morocco
Enraged Orangutan Musk
The Red Queen
Vicomte de Valmont
Katharina
Hecate
Aeval
R'lyeh
Carnal
Port-Au-Prince
Black Opal
Eat Me
Jack
Xanthe, the Weeping Clown
Chaos Theory: Strange Attractors MLXXVIII (1078)
Mme. Moriarty, Misfortune Teller
The Candy Butcher
Gennivre, L'Artiste du Diable
Theodosius, The Legerdemain
The Organ Grinder
Midnight on the Midway
Carnaval Diabolique
Devil's Night
Thalia
Undertow
Bewitched
Le Serpent Qui Danse
Sleepy Moon
F5
Et Lux Fuit
Aglaea
The Scales of Deprivation
Miskatonic University
Freak Show
Halôa
Euphrosyne
Kurukulla
Hymn to Propserpine
Mouse's Long and Sad Tale
Djinn
Kathmandu
Pele
Eve
King of Spades
Mabon
Nuclear Winter
Doc Buzzard
Monster Bait: Underpants
Pink Phoenix
Pumpkin Patch 2
Glitter
Bengal
Dana O'Shee
Dublin
Queen of Sheba
White Musk
Punkie Night
Boomslang
Bakeneko
Australian Copperhead
Zarita, the Doll Girl
The Oblation
Pink Moon 2005
Faith, the Siamese Twin
Asp Viper
Leo
Mr. Nancy
High John the Conquerer
Bien Loin D'ici
Medea
Euterpe
Beaver Moon
Snow Angel
Enraged Bunny Musk
Night's Pavillion
That's it so far! I have a ton I need to write up, still, though. And I realize you can easily use the search function to see my reviews, but it's nice to just have at my fingertips. (151 as of Snow Angel)
ANTM: I haven't ever watched it during the season before, but I usually catch at least part of a marathon afterwards. (I'm going to try and break this up, since it was sort of a stream of thought and was in one huge clump.)
I don't think the remaining girls are all that pretty, especially the twins. I don't get all the fuss over their features, though admittedly, I'm no expert. Still, they seem pretty... average, I guess? I don't think they'd really stand out all that much, even. However, Michelle is the one I've been hoping would go home since the episode where Nicole left.
I like Melrose, and I like that all the other girls hate her. It just makes me laugh.
I have a really big issue with girls who can't deal with having their look changed- when they whine about having short hair, it is a complete annoyance and I hope they go home right away. I may be insensitive in that area, though. But seriously, just deal.
My favourite was Anchal- I think I spelled that wrong. Gah. Anyway. She was gorgeous! They really played up how much everyone told her that she was fat and wouldn't make it with that body, though, but she annoyed me because she really did the job of sending herself home. If she had carried herself just a bit differently, with more confidence, I don't think she would've taken any shit from the girls at least about her size. Anyone remember Dee? She's, like, half of Dee's size, and they weren't half that cruel about Dee's weight. I have come into this late, admittedly.
I actually think that Eugena has the prettiest face of the models that are left. Melrose is my pick to win, though. They usually have a clear leader, which makes it more about watching the girls interact than about the competition, but sometimes people do stupid things, so that's always interesting.
I like Carridee, but I don't think she's the winner. They're probably going to send her home next and leave the top three as Melrose, Eugena and Amanda. Hell, maybe Amanda will be their pick, but I kind of doubt it. Yeah, I doubt it a lot.
Oh, and with regards to Tyra? She is absofrickinlutely batshit insane. I just don't find her likeable at all.
Off to watch the Heroes marathon and put off doing my homework! Whee!
I'm done with fall quarter in one week! I'll be home from doing my last final a week from right now! Woohoo!
My mood swings are seriously impressive. My anxiety is even worse. I missed school because of my anxiety today, and this is significant not because it's never happened before, but because I hadn't given up, and I wanted so badly to go, and I just couldn't. handle. it. I couldn't. There wasn't a single thing that was going to drag me out of this house. I couldn't write my paper that was due today, and I didn't get to do all the things that needed to be done TODAY. Not tomorrow. Right now. Hours ago. There were things that I needed to have done, and people, I just could not do them. I cannot convey the amount of frustration and despair I feel over this.
I really want to be a better person. I want to think that I am continuously improving, and that I am going to be strong enough to live like a normal person and get the education I want and make connections and be there for the people who need me, but I feel like I am stuck.
My mom has been sick for a long time now, and they've been trying to figure out what is wrong with her- loads of tests, and they've thought repeatedly that she has internal bleeding, but haven't found anything. So finally, instead of sending her back to the GI specialist, she went and saw a hematologist, who ordered her into the hospital to be watched, because her iron and her red (?) blood cell count was so low, and they did an iron infusion and finally sent her home, and now we wait to see if she starts producing the blood cells she needs, or if not, what else needs to be done.
So I'm a wreck, and she's taking care of me already- she went out and got my medicine for me today- and she has no business really being out and about, but that's just how it goes, and I wonder if I'll ever quit being a burden to her and be able to start taking care of her. In fact, I feel that way about most everyone in my life right now.
I shouldn't be feeling like this. And all I can do is stare at my switchee box that has yet to go out and feel hopeless about THAT, too. Is that not insane? Seriously, it's not like it is out of my control to drive to the post office and have it mailed out. But right about now, I'd like to sit in my very own padded cell and rock in the corner... and that sounds ridiculous and overdramatic in my head, so I can't imagine how it sounds out here, but I feel so freaking out of control, and then I'll come back here in a couple of hours and be appalled because of how overdramatic this is, but it is really how I feel right now, even if I don't feel this way later, and.... yeah. My head is really, really unhappy right now.
So, my brother called me last night and announced that his mother told him that I don't have anyone helping with the wedding, so what all do we need done? Well, flowers. But it's wierd that she would say that, because all I've been hearing is that a million people have offered to help, so I set him straight on that. Flowers. Which will be the cost of the flowers themselves, but the arranging will all be free. Fine. So just now, I tell my mother what my brother told me, and she says, "Yeah, nobody's stepped forward to help." And I'm like, "Mom. Why is this the first I've heard of it? You've told me that offers of aid have been pouring in since September, so why would you now tell me that that's not the case? Why would you tell me that just 9 days before the wedding? Why???" Only not quite so dramatically. So she hems and haws and is like, "People just don't want to help anymore." Uh. Uhhhhh. Dude. My brain can't even handle this. I have my muthafuggin' math final tomorrow. No more stress. My wedding is in 9 days. No more stress. The rings arrived today and they're about two miles too wide. NO MORE STRESS!
I need to go see a movie this weekend. I just don't have time. My future in laws will be here next week- I'm really excited to see them. They're fantastic. We're going to have to clean a LOT before they get here, though. A LOT. I also need to see about getting my nails done, figure out what is going to be done with my hair, and figure out if we're going to have 100 guests or 10. So, the wedding will be here in a week- yay! bounce, bounce, bounce- it's finally heeeeeere!
Next up? The divorce. Not mine- my parents. Yeah, apparently my mother isn't going to do it after all. It's this whole big thing. BUT. She might be moving into our very small place. Our very small place with two cats and a housemate already... and she may bring her cat, too... I don't know. I don't have the energy to deal. My brain is fried. And I'm so freaked out about my dress... I'm really hoping it's here on monday.
