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BPAL Madness!
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About this blog

Astrophysics, Lovecraft, BPAL, computers. If that 'aint a weird mix I don't know what is.

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Why...?

Why can't she see she has a problem? Screaming at someone because they used the wrong roasting tin is not normal behaviour. She is my mother and I hate to see someone turn into a raging screaming maniac for something trivial happening. When pressed she shrugs it off and says "I've always had a bad temper." Hum, yes, an ordinary, everyday short fuse that turns her into a homicidal maniac I'm terrified to be around.   I've had enough. I've done my best, I've tried to make her see a doctor, I've tried to remain calm while she's throwing things at me, and I can't take it anymore. I can't even make her get help, as I'd have to go with her, and she would kill me. (Only a very slight exaggeration there. When she goes into a rage I fear for my, and her, safety, she has thrown things at me and struck me before now, and she has severely hurt herself more than once.)
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Sterilisation for a 21-year-old

I don't want children. I don't ever want to be pregnant, to give birth, to take care of a baby. The idea of being pregnant and labour and looking after a baby is terrifying to me.   I've felt like this ever since I started my periods at 11. When I first started, I asked my mother if I could have my ovaries removed. That was 10 years ago, and my view hasn't changed at all.   However, I understand there are people who do want, and deserve, children and can't have them for whatever reason. I wish I could give my fully-functioning ovaries to them. I know there are egg donation programmes, I wish there was an ovary donation one!   I can't give my uterus, as although it's in fairly healthy shape I suffered from Oligomenorrhea (highly irregular periods), although I don't think suffered is the right word as it didn't cause me any problems. Apart from wanting to stop ovulating and stop bleeding altogether, of course.   I don't hate my own body. I just wish I had more control over it, and perhaps more relevantly, I wish that the NHS wasn't so closed-minded. They actually believe that every woman wants children. No exceptions. They won't even give me a consultation to have my tubes tied because I am OBVIOUSLY too young to understand the implications and I will DEFINITELY change my mind and start a family. I won't, of course, but all that matters to them is that I am young and without children. Therefore, their logic is that I will certainly regret it. Hah...
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Bored of this now.

He doesn't think about me at all. He thinks that a hug is a substitute for understanding me and paying attention to my needs. He never thinks about what I might want at all. But if I say anything, he acts like I've run over his dog or something.   I don't want to end it and be alone but as time goes on it seems like I should more and more...
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Why is he being an ass...?

So my boyfriend went out with his mates last night. Without telling me. After I had planned a cosy evening in.   I don't mind him going out with them (I don't like them very much, but who am I to tell him who to be friends with..?), what I do mind is not knowing about it. Is it wrong to want to know where your loved one is?   Upon further questioning this morning, as far as he could answer questions in his hungover state, it turns out "Tim was around and I haven't seen him for ages". Alright, fine, he wanted to see his friend. That's fine, I'd like to see my friends if they came to visit too. What is NOT FINE is how he managed to stretch "just a pint down at Scholars" into "out for six hours, get paralytically drunk, then come home at 2am and expect me to be there to go to bed with". Um, NO WAY.   What's so sad is that when he's with just me or with our mutual friends, he is fine and nice and polite and normal. It's just when he's with his group of friends that he gets swept up in their macho, sexist philosophies.   I don't know what to do.
Jenesis

Jenesis

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How would you define "cheating"..?

There are 5 of us in my house - me, my boyfriend, a guy (M) who my boyfriend knows and who is now my good friend too, and a girl (J) and guy (A) who are on our course. We are all friends. Or at least we were at the beginning of the year.   I get on fine with M and A. They are nice, considerate guys. Usually I get on with boyf too, no major problems living together until recently. It's become apparent that he prefers hanging out with J instead of me. They like the same shows (I tend not to like the same shows he does), they have lively conversations that stop the minute I enter the room and they get on really well together.   I have been crying myself to sleep for 3 nights in a row. It's blindingly obvious that he would be better off with her than with me, and it looks like he sees it too. I really thought he was the one. I guess that the temptation of watching Battlestar Galactica with her was too much for him. They're in her room now, with the door closed when she always props it open usually, and they've been in there for 2 hours.   I am tempted to just walk out of the house and time how long it takes for him to even notice that I'm gone. If he doesn't call me within an hour or so (bear in mind my room is right next to hers...) I am going to confront him with this.
Jenesis

Jenesis

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..

Oh for gods' sake. Why doesn't he just admit he wants to be with her instead of me. It's blindingly obvious he enjoys her company more than mine.
Jenesis

Jenesis

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..

I feel like the worst, most useless human being in the world. I am a drain on society. My boyfriend could do so, SO much better than me if he took the time. I can't do anything right. I drop things. I break things. I managed to slice my hand open with a screwdriver while adding a case fan to my PC, how the hell does someone who isn't utterly stupid manage that?   I want to crawl into a hole and seal it behind me and cry forever in the lonely darkness.
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Schrodinger's Cat: A Pretty Kitty!

One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following diabolical device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of one hour one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer which shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The first atomic decay would have poisoned it. The Psi function for the entire system would express this by having in it the living and the dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts. It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a "blurred model" for representing reality. In itself it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks.

A paradoxical scent experiment! - tangerine, sugared lime, pink grapefruit, oakmoss, lavender, zdravetz, and chocolate peppermint.

No cats were mistreated during the formulation of this paradox, or in the process of creating this perfume.

First off, let me say I am a cat person. Very much a cat person. I've already named the three cats I'll have in my home when I move out.

I got this from the Lab when it was new, and I didn't like it much then (too sharp and lemony). However, I broke it out again today for my Quantum Mechanics exam, and I was delighted to find that it has aged wonderfully in the few months I've had it!

The main thing I can smell is sherbert lemons. I can only assume this is the sugared fruits coming in to play. For the first half-hour of wear, the Kitty is very nice and light and bright (never fear, citrus-haters, it's very sweet). After that, the bright, citrus top notes disappear leaving a sweet, but not tooth-achingly so, musky undertone. I can't get any lavender out of it at any stage. I guess the musky drydown is the oakmoss and chocolate.
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Venom: Halp, sweaty feet!

Darkly seductive and lethally compelling: sinuous opponax, galbanum, dark wild berries, a drop of lush jasmine and a sliver of lime.
As we all know, Venom is one of the oldest and most sought-after BPALs. It was discontinued in 2005. With that in mind...

I was frimped a sniffie of this, and I must admit that I'm glad I don't like it. All I get out of it is "feet covered in hair dye". Don't ask me where I get that from, but to me I can smell sweaty-feet-stink with the pervading chemical tang of ammonia-based hair dye. Oh well!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Tristran: Ehh.

Tristran put down his wooden cup of tea, and stood up, offended.

"What," he asked, in what he was certain were lofty and scornful tones, "would possibly make you imagine that my lady-love would have sent me on some foolish errand?"

The little man stared up at him with eyes like beads of jet. "Because that's the only reason a lad like you would be stupid enough to cross the border into Faerie. The only ones who ever come here from your lands are the minstrels, and the lovers, and the mad. And you don't look like much of a minstrel, and you're - pardon me saying so, lad, but it's true - ordinary as cheese-crumbs. So it's love, if you ask me."

"Because," announces Tristran, "every lover is in his heart a madman, and in his head a minstrel."

Dust on your trousers, mud on your boots, and stars in your eyes: redwood, tonka bean, white sandalwood, lemon peel, patchouli, rosewood, coriander, and crushed mint.

Although nice, this scent is "meh" for me. I love woody scents and I was hoping this could be a new Geek, but it doesn't have the complexity.

Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely scent, but on me it's just straight "wood", with no mint, lemon or anything else to spice it up. It fades quickly. I really can't pick apart the various woods.

If this was a regular price GC I'd go for it, but at $25 a bottle it's a little pricey when there are nicer woody blends for the same price tag (The Smiling Spider).
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Hexennacht 2008: Not sweaty at all!

The Night of the Witches. In the Teutonic calendar, April 30, not October 31, was the night that the witches congregated to celebrate their Work through ecstatic dance, wild music and revelry. The witches fêted with spirits, fairies, and a bevy of otherworldy creatures atop Brockenberg peak in the Harz region of Germany, where they lit an enormous bonfire and cavorted naked until midnight... at which point they donned their robes, boarded their brooms, flying rams and sacred goats, scooped up their cat familiars, and sped off into the night. In later days, it was believed that on this night the witches conjured the devil, who would then select one of them for his bride. This perfume is the scent of the witches' revel: German fir and forest herbs, incense and bonfire smoke, infernal flora, glowing amber, and the wet, glimmering scent of skin warmed by dance.

I definitely get the fir from this when I first put it on. It's a sharp, bright, "clean" scent when wet.
The fir mellows after a few minutes to be much warmer, and less artificial. It's a very pleasant "green" scent at this point.
It stays like this for a half-hour or so and then... disappears. All that's left is a light, slightly musky scent which is hard to place.

Odd behaviour, but very nice!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Three Witches: Nom Nom Nom

Warm cinnamon, husky clove and white pepper.

I was lucky enough to acquire a bottle of the Resurrected incarnation.

In the vial and wet, this is all CINNAMON. Spicy spicy spice with no sign of the clove or pepper - it's like I upended a pot of cinnamon onto my wrist. As nice as cinnamon is, it's very strong.

On the drydown, the overwhelming cinnamon thankfully fades a little. I can detect a whiff of the clove, and the smooth pepper is coming out to play.

Dry, this is a stunning scent. The cinnamon and clove are still there, over the smooth sweetness of white pepper. So glad I managed to get a bottle!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Frederic: Geek-esque Manliness

For some ridiculous reason, to which, however, I’ve no desire to be disloyal,
Some person in authority, I don’t know who, very likely the Astronomer Royal,
Has decided that, although for such a beastly month as February, twenty-eight days as
a rule are plenty,
One year in every four his days shall be reckoned as nine and twenty.
Through some singular coincidence – I shouldn’t be surprised if it were owing to the
agency of an ill-natured fairy –
You are the victim of this clumsy arrangement, having been born in leap-year, on the
twenty-ninth of February;
And so, by a simple arithmetical process, you’ll easily discover,
That though you’ve lived twenty-one years, yet, if we go by birthdays,you’re only five
and a little bit over!

Alas, poor Frederic the Leapling! -- bound to the merry Pirates of Penzance until his twenty-first birthday.

As his birthday comes around only every four years, so does his scent!

Victorian whimsy and piratical romance: a reluctant seaman’s chypre sloshed with a mix of bay rum, patchouli, amber musk, dark woods, tea rose, and red currant.

The whole thing just screams manliness and sophistication. It is indeed quite dry, with woods and spices, and thankfully completely free of the sickening "Lynx effect" sweetness that so many masculine scents unfortunately have.

Although it is manly, it retains a touch of femininity with the spices and the hint of rose (I normally hate rose, so don't worry, fellow haters, the rose is not prominent at all!). In general it evokes the same feeling as Geek - although the scents are completely dissimilar apart from the woods, it has that same "manly but feminine" feel. I love Geek too, so this is right up my alley!

Looking at the notes, I can't smell any rum at all and I have no idea what chypre is, but the musk, woods and patchouli all make themselves known. The rose and currant show up after the drydown as quirky extras, stopping this from smelling too much like aftershave.

I absolutely adore this blend. I have the one bottle, and I may have to find another as this is just too nice to only get one of, and I bet it'll age fabulously!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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IGMO! (Yay for birthdays!)

Well, again, my Mum got my order She confessed she's been trying them all on! Go Mum   European Order! Ordered: 25th OctoberCnS: 14th November Delivered: 20th November   Ivanushka Samhain Perilous Parlor Gingerbread Poppet El dia de Reyes Vampire Tears March Hare   Imp pack #1 1. Schrodinger's Cat 2. Katharina 3. Event Horizon 4. Embalming Fluid 5. Iago 6. Sudha Segara   Imp pack #2 1. Bastet 2. De Sade 3. Fire of Love 4. Goblin 5. Whip 6. Incubus   ...and (from the sound of my Mum's email) about twenty frimps! Hoorah!   It's not actually my birthday until Dec. 14th, and I won't get these smellies until Dec. 1st, when Mum brings them up with her when she comes to my concert. I need my Samhain!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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IGMO!... Well, my Mum did!

As I'm at University at the moment, I get my BPAL orders (the Lab ones, at least) sent home, for a couple of reasons, mainly the shipping time fluctuations, but also housemates here are useless and never answer the door for post so I'd have to collect it from the PO every time. So every time a Lab order arrives home I get a bewildered email of "Some Alchemy potions have arrived for you"   European Order! Ordered: October 30thCnS: November 14th Received: November 19th   Black Forest The Lurid Library The Snow Storm - with a picture label, as far as my Mum described it to me.   ...and seven frimps! (Namaste, Vampire Tears, Villain, Juke Joint, Seance and Oberon.)   My Mum said that she liked The Snow Storm, and that it "smells wintery". I won't get to smell any of these until December 1st, when the parents are coming up to see my concert and bringing a few things, like a warm dressing gown, and smellies!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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...Third order. Heh.

Err. Whoops. I couldn't resist Samhain's siren call! I NEED a second bottle! So I ordered it, along with a bottle of Plunder to keep it company. Yay!  
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Red Lantern - Heady, Smooth, Sticky

A tribute to the opium den cum bawdyhouses of Shanghai in the 1930's. Golden amber, blonde tobacco, Sudanese black coconut, rich caramel, black currant, white opium and delphinium laced with a sensual blend of Asian spice.

I have no idea whether this is the 06 or 07 version. I think it may be the 06 as the label isn't "shiny" and it looks a little weathered.

In the bottle, this is incredibly sweet - think along the lines of the overpowering caramel of Creepy.

First on my skin, it retains this caramel-sweet whoosh, but I can detect the coconut in there too.

Drying, I get a slight "burnt sugar" smell. I hope this doesn't last.

Drying after a few minutes, the sugar has faded to the background, leaving a smooth amber-coconut scent. Very strong, so use sparingly, but going well so far!

Dry (10 mins): I'm not getting any opium, spice or delphinium out of this. It's just a smooth, slightly "sticky"-smelling scent. Definitely pleasant!
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Second Order in a Week.

Heh.   I realised I would probably like some of the more woody scents as well, so I ordered:     Not a bad one, eh?
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Assortment: New Lab order, life in general

So here I am back at University for my second year. The work isn't too bad, although the lecturers seem bent on giving us assignments that have to all be handed in at once. My house is... interesting. Suffice to say I am never living with some of these people ever again. Leaving milk out on the counter for two weeks doesn't exactly put them in my good books.   Anyway, happy stuff: I made my birthday Lab order! I thought "Oh, screw it" and pretty much ordered my entire wishlist. Here goes:   What a great box that will be to open! I was going to go for Saggitarius, but the Chamomile was a deal-breaker for me - the scent of that just reminds me of pond water. I'm really excited about Samhain and Gingerbread Poppet especially, and I look forward to trying Iago and De Sade (leather... mmm!).   Luckily my birthday isn't until December 14th, and hopefully it will be delivered before then! I know the Lab will be very busy over the next few weeks, what with the wedding and everything, and I just hope they get round to my order in time.
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Aziraphale: Intelligent, Light and Heavenly

Ethereal musk, blonde woods, and dusty Bible accord.

Bottle: Aaack. Alcoholic cologne.

Wet: Still alcoholic cologne.

Drydown: Weird, dusty, woody cologne.

Dry (10 mins): Slightly more interesting. I can smell cedar, sandalwood (I think) and other light, as it says, blonde woods. No "dust" as yet. I think the "cologne" scent must be the musk.

Dry (20 mins): Glad I left this, it's lovely now! Sweet, light musks and bright woods. Very sophisticated and fitting of the character. If I ever have a spare $25 I'll grab a bottle of this!

Verdict: Leave this to mellow! Smart, sophisticated and uplifting. Sit there with your gold-rimmed spectacles and browse your old books.

Rating: 4.5/5

Review
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Crowley: Don't mess with THE MAN.

Infernal musk, red patchouli, lilac cologne, mahogany, lemon rind, oakmoss, leather, and vanilla husk.

Imp: Sharp-ish, musky cologne.

Wet: Patchouli. Loooots of patchouli.

Drydown: Oh no! Sharp, alcoholic cologne, the kind that made you gag when it came in clouds out of the boys' locker room at High School.

Dry (First): Phew! Still cologne, but much creamier. Still very, very manly though.

Dry (10 mins): Crowley just screams manliness from every pore. Not something that warrants big bottle attention, but nice nonetheless.

Verdict: Don your sunglasses and drive your burning Bentley screaming through the black night.

Rating: 4/5. Would have gotten 5 if it was a little less testosterone-fuelled.

Review
Jenesis

Jenesis

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Eat Me: Seriously Edible!

Three white cakes, vanilla, and red and black currants.

Bottle: Nothing in particular, quite strong.

Wet: Fruity, tart berries.

Dry & Drydown: Smells similar - warm, sweet cake with slightly bitter undertones of berry. Sorry I can't be more specific - this is one of those mellow, all-purpose, warm, comforting scents, and on my chemistry, it smells divine!

Throw: Everyone I asked "Do you like this smell?" loved it. It lasted about 8 hours before vanishing.

Verdict: Warm, sweet and foody. A 6-part chord of notes rather than an octave.

Rating: A delectable 5/5!

Review
Jenesis

Jenesis

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13 (July 2007)

A base of cocoa absolute and white chocolate with thirteen baneful and beneficial bits including vanilla bean, white ginger, orchid, golden peach, massoia bark, clove, honey, and starfruit.

Wet: Strangely, I can smell no chocolate at all. Although it is making my stomach rumble. May be subconscious?

Drydown: This smells very "department store perfume".

Dry: Yum! I smell edible! (I love foodies...) The chocolate has come out, but it's thankfully not overpowering (a la Candy Butcher) like I thought it would. The whole scent is rich and smooth - sweet cocoa over the rich fruit and vanilla. The scent reminds me of those special edition hot chocolate flavours that Cadburys released a few months back.

Dry (10 mins): It is official: My skin eats white chocolate. This reminds me quite a bit of Xanthe, with the bright fruits and slight "perfumey" tang. Perhaps a slightly less liberal application is called for. 13 isn't a top three scent for me, but it is a top ten! (Seeing as I only have thirteen bottles...)

Verdict: Slightly "perfumey", but a nice smooth fruit blend with something rich and creamy underneath.

Rating: 4/5

Review
Jenesis

Jenesis

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IGMO! (13, Eat Me)

My 13 order has arrived!   Ordered: 13th July CnS: 31st July Arrived: 4th August   5ml 13 5ml Eat Me   Frimpies of King of Hearts, Incantation, Erato and Harlot. I swear Harlot is following me about. Incantation sounds interesting though!   I'm quite impressed that this order got here so fast, due to the stupid postal strikes in the UK. I'm waiting on two swap/decant packages as well, both mailed before or around the time of my CnS, so here's to hoping RM don't eat my decants...
Jenesis

Jenesis

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